When eternity isn't enough
by JessiAndNooneElse
Summary: When the Cullens left forks, Nessie lost her memory, including Jake. But what happens when those memories return? Will she learn to accept her life and start fresh with her newfound memories or will she rebel against her family & their lies?
1. Renesmee Cullen

**This is a story about Renesmee and Jacob and the struggles and difficulties their weird love will bring. There's some humor and some romatisism. Sorry if i misspell a lot, I'll try my best so that you'll understand and enjoy this story.**

**It's been five years saince the Cullen's left Forks. Leaving behind Charlie, Jacob and their life. No one nows exactly why Edward suddenly changed his attitude towards Jake and why they left. This damaged Renesmee's mind who now doesn't remember anything about their past life, and no one will tell her. But after today everything will change. You'll get it just by reading the two first chapters=)**

**This is the first chapter/prolouge if you like it I'll upload more... And believe me... I Have more!**

**Enjoy and PLEASE COMENT! I want to know what you think!**

**Note: thet i don't own any of this characters or places! I've just used my to big imagination to create this story...**

_Renesmee Cullen_

_It was like if I had ended up wrong. Like in a parallel universe. By this time should I be used to it, be used to that everything was upside down. But I had been used to a dream. A dream that I someday would wake up from. No matter how it hurts._

I entered the cafeteria and went to take a seat. All the voices mixed up and everything was a ocean of- for the "normal" people- inaudible voices and unclear words. For me, all kinds of topics. A laugh, a joke that I've heard many times before, someone complaining about the food, etc. I hated it.

Well not the food, well yes. This wasn't actually the thing I preferred to eat. But the kind of freak that I was, needed "regular" food too, but that was what I lease cared of in this particular moment. The thing that I hated was to be aware of every single thing. I actually don't give a thing about others lives, why should I?

I wished that I just could turn of. Block my mind and ears and don't listen to anyone.

The time in the cafeteria passed slowly, just like the lessons that I had before lunch. And, unfortunately, so will the rest of the day go on. I hated that the time went on so slowly in this little and constantly grey city. We had always lived in these kind of cities, well _they _lived I this kinds of cities. I had only lived here. I _might _had lived in another city before. But I barely remember it. That's weird. I'm losing my memory more and more for every day. No one knows why. Not even my grandpa, and he is a doctor. But he said to me- or more correctly, I overheard him- that it might be because of my fast growing. But apparently it will come back.

"Hey gorgeous!"

I jumped like about a feet and my heart was rising. More than usual.

"Damn it, Emmet! Do you want to give me a heart attack?"

Emmet didn't say anything, but his grin said it all.

"Baby, what happened?" Rosalie gave me her loving aunt/ big sister look. Emmet answered

"Well I just…"

"I'm talking to Nessie, Em."

I burst out laughing. I just couldn't hold it in. My tears were rolling down my cheeks and I almost fell down from the chair.

"Shut up, kid!"

I stopped laughing and looked at him.

" How do you now I'm laughing at you? Not everything is about you, you know."

He looked at me but this time, with hate in his eyes.

"What's up Emmet, you want to kill someone?"

Edward hit friendly his shoulder and gave me a loving smile. I wiped out a tear from my eye.

"Oh, I've seen that look before. And I bet that your dear daughter is the main target." Alice took the seat next to Rosalie and Jasper came, as usual, after her.

"Oh, if you even think about touching her then I'll…"

" Edward, stop. Don't be so overprotecting."

I looked at him and to make sure that he had get that Emmet wasn't going to harm me. He never would. He'll never forgive himself. Neither would someone else in the family. And Rosalie would kill him. Or torture him for ever. Or both. Well, whatever that would hurt him most.

I hadn't notice that mom had taken the seat that was next to my dad. And in the speed of light, was Emmet picking on her.

"Hey Bella, how does it feel to have a dwarf as progeny?"

He gave me a grin. I ignored him.

"Just the same way that Rose feels to have a pale annoying rock brain as soul mate."

Emmet didn't said anything but I knew that mom hade beaten him this time. Mom and Emmet were like brother and sister, witch we all pretended to be, of course. But they fought like they where real siblings. It's pretty funny to watch actually.

We all sat around the table. We where discussing all kind of things, like when the next hunting trip would be. It had been a while, you saw it in their eyes. You couldn't tell if I was hungry. For blood I mean. I was constantly eating regular food. My brown eyes did of course change color but you didn't noticed that so much. They saw it in another way. Like, when all the humans are hungry do they often get a bit whiny. I did also get whiny. Very whiny. Once did I almost kill uncle Emmet. He was as usual picking on me and didn't know why I was so angry. So my "other instincts" took over and I flew on him like if he had been a delicious dear.

Sometimes I regret not killing him. But I don't think I could do that to aunt Rose. She, in some strange way, need that idiot in her life. Poor aunt, she can't commit suicide so she decides to stay with that moron.

"Nessie, are you coming?"

I had been caught up in my day dream. We raised up from our seats and went to our lessons. Rosalie and Emmet, the Juniors, where going to have math, the rest were sophomores, (that includes Bella, Edward, Alice and Jasper) where going to have physics. Then was I left. The freshmen. Jasper calls me that. This I my first freshmen year. The first of many. But because I'm the families "little girl" is this a very big thing. Specially for my grandparents that have been with me when my parents were at school. They didn't want to let me go but they had to.

We all were walking to the same place. Alice and I went hand in hand when I suddenly felt a shiver go up over my body and I dropped her hand. I looked at Alice that just stared at no target. She was having a vision. My curiosity took over and I touched her again.

_I suddenly felt breath less. Like I had been running. Then I felt terrified. What's going on? I suddenly saw a man _

"_Run, Nessie, run!"_

Black. Everything went black. Suddenly did I feel a icy hand on my shoulder and I screamed.

"It's ok. Baby it's ok, I'm right here."

I felt my mom's embrace and I felt safe. I didn't realize I was shaking. What have happened? I've never seen Alice's visions before. It was like having a nightmare.

I had hide my face in my mom's chest and felt my hair sticky around my face so I looked up. We all where in the floor. And people where crowded around us.

"Make some space, let her breathe."

I heard that Emmet and Edward where trying to clear the space up.

"What happened here?"

Mr. Rosenberg had managed to pass trough the crowd of people but stayed to talk to Edward.

"Err… She… fainted."

I rolled my eyes. He was such a bad liar. I stood up. Mom came after me. When I raised up did all my blood go to my feet and I got dizzy. Mom was next to me to hold me.

"Miss Cullen, are you okay?"

"Yeah."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah I'm sure. I think I'm just tired."

"Well 'just tired' people don't faint just liked that. I think you should go to the school nurse."

"But Mr. Rosen…"

"No buts Miss Cullen. If you don't want to go alone can you take your sister with you."

"Eh… Witch of them"

All looked at me. People started to giggle. But it was the true.

"Eh… Witch one you want. And I expect that the rest of the Cullen family and the other gossip tellers go to their classes immediately."

He turned around and walked away. So did the rest. I grabbed Alice.

"Come on!"

_What was that?_

"Eh… What do you mean?"

"Come with me."

_Oh, you know very well what I mean Alice Cullen. Your vision. What did you see before I freaked out?_

" I'm sorry sweetie I can't follow you to the nurse."

_Oh no, you're not going to escape from me miss… _

"But you have to."

"I'm really sorry baby but I have an exam…"

_Fine but wait till we get home…_

"Okay"

"Bye baby, take care!"

No one had notice our short conversations. We where really good at doing it. I looked after her as she walked hand in hand with Jasper. I suddenly felt confused. Should I really ask her? I know that she always have a hard time…

"Stop it, Jasper!"

He looked back at me and so did Alice. No, I was going to yell at her, she'll have to blame herself. I could have talk to her now but she didn't want to so I'll have to interrogate her at home then. And it wont be funny for her.

"Do you really want to go to the nurse?"

Mom looked at me with that carrying mother look.

"Not really, but we have to or Mr. Rosenberg will think that we cut class."

"Well I have an idea. Lets make the nurse give you a permission slip, then I'll tell Mr. Rosenberg that I'll take you home then can we go home and just do nothing"

I nodded. There was nothing else I liked more than just be with mom doing nothing at all. I loved it.

"Okay."

She put her arm under my shoulder and I put my arm on her waist. And we walked towards the nurses room. In peoples eyes, like loving sisters. In the eyes of our own, mother an child.

**IF YOU LIKED IT PLEASE COMMENT! LOVE3**


	2. Bad news

_Bad news_

"Well, I think you're just dehydrated."

I sat up from the stretcher and I buttoned my sweater. I was freezing. Of cold but mostly of my huge effort. Slowing down your own heartbeat isn't the easiest I've done.

"Go home and rest." she said. I nodded.

"But are you sure she don't need to se a doctor or something…?"

Typical mother issues. All the time that we had been sitting in the nurses room hadn't she let my hand. She hold it, firm.

"No, I'm pretty sure she don't. But if she still feels dizzy or faint again, can you just let her father check her…"

"But Edward isn't…"

_Mom! Shhhh…_

She heard me an reacted immediately.

"Pardon?"

The nurse looked strange at us. Ops!

"I mean Carlisle… isn't in town today. He had to go to a dinner tonight. I sometimes confuse Edward and Carlisle. They are very like each other."

The nurse nodded. It was a good sign. I guess. I hope.

We left the nurse room and went to the parking lot. Bella held up her phone. She was probably texting dad.

The air was fresh. It smelled rain. And of course, it had been raining. It always does. They where pools of water on the wet pavement. When it rained did I see the world different. Everything was clean. It was like, all the dirty and disgusting things disappeared with the rain. I liked it.

I putted my hand on the wet handle of the car door and went in. it was the car that dad gave to mom after they got married. I knew it. I knew their story. It's the only thing I remember really well. Their love story. I also knew she hated it. The car I mean.

"The car of commitment." I said with a mystery voice. She laugh.

"Jupp. Marry a overprotecting vampire and you get a car."

The rest of the trip was in silence. I looked out the window. Forest. Everywhere.

"Isn't it boring to just live in this kinds of cities?"

She looked at me and smiled.

"Sometimes. But I prefer live in this cities with you and Edward. Because a life without Edward and you would be miserable. You're everything to me. All of you are all I have left…"

She said that with sorrow in her voice. I wish I knew what make her so sad. So that I could comfort her. Give her a hug. But she didn't wanted to tell me. No one did. When they all realized that I was loosing my memory, did they start to stop telling me things, act very mysteriously. Like trying to avoid telling me thing. Things that make me sad. I don't know what should make me sad. I'm never sad. I'm always happy. I think they all talk about the other city. The one I don't remember. The one I was born in. All I remember is leaving something, but I don't know what. And every time I bring up that do they change subject. It's really annoying. I hate feel being treated like a kid, because I'm not. Well I am. Technically. I'm only 7 years old. But anyway, my mind is like an 16 years old. Witch I look like. I look like 16. And the constantly special treatment was really annoying.

We pulled in to the big driveway, up for a little hill and into the big front yard. The big mahogany colored garage door was opened. Mom drove in. Grandpas car was in. Grandmas wasn't. She maybe went out to shop. She needs a new hobby since her latest left to high school. Poor granny, she had taken care of me for almost three years now, and then suddenly was I taken away from her.

I opened the car door and went out. I closed the door, carefully. So I wouldn't break it. Again. We went to the door that led to a hallway. We went up some stairs and came to the big open kitchen. I loved the kitchen. Even though no one ate, except from me, did we have a lots of fun there. The kitchen and the dining room was speared by a big transparent white fabric. The dining table was big too. It was red mahogany colored table with matching chairs. The chairs where more than the number of family members. Witch really isn't necessary. We actually only use it to have family reunions, but it has been a while since our last reunion. There was a wall in the middle that hide the table from the living room. You couldn't see it if you sat on the couches in the living room. I love the first floor. It was big and open, still you didn't feel to exposed or to hidden.

I hared mom going upstairs and I sat down on the big black leather arm chair. I closed my eyes and enjoyed just being there feeling safe. In here, in this house, couldn't anything or anyone harm me. I loved that feeling.

Whispers. I herd some whispers from the upper floor. Mom was probably talking to Carlisle about the reason why we were home so early. I suddenly felt anxious. I wanted to know to. I'm the one that collapsed. I sat up trying to listens better. Did he know the reason? The whispers suddenly became silent. I led my head back again and closed my eyes.

"Hi, Nessie." Carlisle took my hand.

_Hi grandpa._

"How are you? Do you feel okay?"

_Well, yeah, kind of. I'm not sure._

"What happened?"

_I don't know. I grabbed Alice while she was having a vision and suddenly did I felt breathless and I was filled with fear. _

"Fear for what?"

_I… I'm not sure. I saw her vision and got scared._

"What do you mean with 'saw her vision'?"

_Well, while she was having her vision did I se it._

Carlisle looked at me with those big, friendly and compassion filled eyes.

_What is happening to me? I'm getting weird chocks…_

"I don't know dear. But we'll probably figure it out."

He let my hand go and I looked at him.

"I really have the best grandpa in the world. Thanks for being here for me."

I hug him and he hug me back.

"Go up to your mom. She's probably waiting."

I raised up and went to the kitchen. I took a bowl of chips and a bottle of coke and went upstairs. I went to mom and dads room. Mom came out of the bathroom and sat down on the bed. I went and sat me right besides her. She took the bowl and I took my bottle of coke. We both laid down at the same time. We laid there looking up a the ceiling. Looking at nothing. But yet, we saw a lots of stuff. We saw that, one side of the ceiling was paint one shade brighter than the other one. We saw different patterns where the brush had passed by. We saw uneven wood boards that were from the room above. We looked at nothing, still everything. We wasn't looking for mistakes, still we saw a lots of them that weren't exposed to the human eye. I love reviling secrets. Things that no one has notice before. I like to find new things, things that other people don't care about.

I turned my head around and I saw mom's profile. She looked like a statue, hard as rock. Still, like made of the most fragile material in the world. She was amazingly beautiful. Well, all vampires are but with mom is it different. She is mysteriously beautiful. She is a vampire but still does she have that human mystery. She is a mystery herself. That is fascinating. I could lay there and see her for hours without getting bored. I could be there forever, trying to reveal that mystery. Trying to uncover all her secrets. I really hope I someday will.

She turned her head and looked me in the eyes.

"What are you thinking about?"

She looked at me with her warm eyes. They had became brighter now.

"I'm thinking about how beautiful you are." I smiled and she smiled back.

"Well, I think you're beautiful too. The most beautiful I've ever seen."

Now I had my chance.

"Mom, how did you look like when you still were human?"

She got tense. Every muscle got hard.

"Well…" she started." Ask Edward. He'll explain it better."

"I don't thing it will make you justice." I looked at her and she relaxed.

"Oh believe me, it will make me more justice than I deserve."

"Will he exaggerate?" I asked and she looked skeptical at me. And I got my mistake.

"Of course he will. Like always." I said and mom laughed.

"Apparently you know Edward very well." She said it while she laughed.

_Of course I knew Edward. Edward. I did never call him dad when I was with mom. I just notice it. I barely call him dad. It's mostly Edward. Maybe its because I always say Edward at school. Well, I call him dad just when I want something or just want to be his little baby girl…_

"Oh, that's why you get what you want." Mom looked at me and had lifted her eyebrow. I haven't notice that I had my hand on her shoulder. Shoot.

We started to laugh. Suddenly, from nowere, did we hear a door smell. But this wasn't a normal door smell. This was to strong. We hared how it broke and how the wooden boards felt to the floor. Both mom and I flew up and the bowl with the chips too. The chips were spread on the bed and the floor. We ran to the ground floor. There was Edward. And as I had suspected, the door wasn't there. He stood some feet's in front of the empty hole where the door once was. When we saw him did both mom and I stop. I almost fell from the black stone stairs. He looked scary. I've never seen him like that. I got chills all over my body. Short after did the rest of the Cullen siblings enter the house. Alice went to Edward and putted her tiny hand on his shoulder. She was probably telling him to calm down.

_I can't._ he whispered.

"What happened?" Carlisle enter the room, and Esme came behind him. I didn't know she had already come. Both had worried expressions on their faces. Edward looked at Alice. Then at Bella. Then at me.

"Renesmeé, can you go upstairs, please?" He said it with a very hard and cold voice. I've never heard him like that. I looked at him. Why? I'm not a kid anymore.

"Why? I'll hear what you're going to say anyway." I looked at him and then at the rest of them.

"Renesmeé…" now he was begging.

"No."

"Uh, the girl got guts."

"Emmet." Esme looked at him. Then at me.

"Baby, listen to your dad" She looked at me. But I wasn't going to leave.

"I'm sorry grandma but I wont leave. I deserve to know what is going on in this family, I'm not a kid. You can't keep things hidden from me anymore."

Now did she look at Edward, who just shake his head.

"Edward, she has right. This is actually about her to. She deserves to know." Alice looked at him and still kept her hand on his shoulder.

"No. It was a cold and hard no."

"Well, can someone except my old schooled, overprotecting dad tell me what's going on?" I was running out of patience. And I saw that so did mom. But in some strange way, did it look like she knew what all this was about. Or at leas had a clue about where it was heading.

No one said a word.

"Alice? You actually own me an explanation. You can choose. You either tell me what happened in school, or you tell me this." I looked at her with the most serious look I could put on my face. I wanted her- and the rest- to take me seriously.

"Well, actually, both things are related."

"Then tell me!"

"No!" Edward looked really angry now, so I fought back.

"Why?"

"Because I don't want to…"

"Just tell us Edward!" Moms voiced echoed and everything became silent. "Tell us everything, don't censure anything."

Dad looked at her with begging eyes.

"Bella, please."

"No, Edward. I told you that we should've tell her everything when she began to loose her memory. But I obviously see that this is hurting her, and I don't want her to suffer."

"That's exactly what I'm trying to avoid"

"What none of you see is that _this_ is hurting me! I want us to tell each other everything. No secrets." Now had my patience taken the first ticket to space. "Dad I'm not a little kid. I get stuff. I don't care if you don't want to tell me, but I will find out."

Everyone was silent. Dad looked at me, this time with sorrow. But I wouldn't let this affect me.

"Alice said it had something to do with my collapse today." I walked toward him and took his hand

_Dad, I deserve to know. _

He looked at me and then at Alice. I let go his hand and walked back to mom that now had stepped down from the stairs. I took her hand.

"Alice." He said. He probably wanted her to refresh his memory. He was looking at the floor.

_Mom, I'm scared. What is all this about?_

"I don't know baby."

I hugged her hand even harder now.

"Bella." He suddenly said. "Charlie is really sick." Everyone freeze. I felt how mom took a deep breath.

"Charlie?"

_Mom, who's Charlie?_

"Your grandpa."

_Your dad?_

She nodded. Her dad. My grandpa. Charlie. I looked up and saw that everyone was looking down. They knew him too.

"How sick?" She suddenly said.

"I think you should really go visit him."

I felt a punch in my stomach.

"That bad." She sigh. I looked at her. Her eyes that for a second ago were filled with happiness, were now filled with sorrow and pain. I bet that if she could, se would cry. I felt sorry for her. I was sad to, but I also felt a bit guilty. I had another grandpa, that I've totally forgot about, that was now dying. I couldn't believe it. But someone I definitely didn't believe was Edward. And this wasn't really all the truth. "What's more?"

He looked at me, trying to look confused. But he was such a bad lire. "This can't be everything. When I collapsed did I feel like I had been running, I felt scared, Alice you had another vision before this one. I was running and, and… there was this man. The one you had about my grandpa wasn't the same." They both looked at each other. They didn't expected this.

"I told you I'm not a kid." He sigh.

" I see that."

He walked towards my mom and stood next to her with his arms around her waist.

"Alice?" I said waiting for her to respond to my question. "who is he?" I looked at her and felt sorry for her. Poor Alice, I had putted her in a spot where I was forcing her to tell me something that she obviously didn't want to. But screw the conscience, I want to know!

But she didn't respond. No I was angry.

" Alice Cullen, you'll tell me right now what you saw and don't lie because I saw too!" Silence. There was complete silence in the room.

" What?" Dad had left mom's side and was now right besides me holding my shoulder. " Renesmeé, what did you say? What do you mean?" he sounded scared. I took a deep breath and answered him calmly. " I said that while Alice was having her vision I grabbed her arm and suddenly, suddenly… I was in there too. I was running from someone or something, I felt breathless, terrified, and then I saw this man… he was tall and tanned, very muscular and he or someone else was telling me to run." I looked him. And if he hadn't been pale already, would I notice that this had frightened him. A lot. I looked at him.

" Dad? Dad, what's wrong?" he didn't say anything he just turned around and looked at Alice. Like begging her to tell him that this wasn't real. For the looks they exchanged, did I see that Alice was telling him exactly what she saw. His face and his eyes became more and more sad.

Alice freeze. Another vision. Could it be related? I didn't think. I just jumped towards her and grabbed her arm.

"_Hi, it wasn't yesterday." I said. He looked at me with his big, warm brown eyes. He was more beautiful than I remembered. "Nessie?" he couldn't believe his eyes. " Yes, it's me" I said. He ran towards me and I couldn't hold my self. I jumped into his arms and hugged him as hard as I could. "You're here!" he sounded so happy. " Yes, I am. And I wont leave you" and I meant it. I wouldn't leave him. No matter what!_

" _NO!" _I woke up and everyone was looking at me.

" Nessie?" grandpa looked at me " are you okay?" No, I was not okay. Where is he? Where? I couldn't believe I had forgotten him, or my grandpa. What had happened to me? " where is he?" I said looking around in the room. Everyone where there, except Alice. Poor her, she must have left. That's why the vision was interrupted. But I would look for her later. Right now has finding him the most important. " where is who, Nessie?" mom looked at me like a mom does when her kid has nightmares. So did dad. " Nessie, who are you talking about?" dad looked at me. Hoping that I had seen something else. Hoping that I hadn't seen what I seen. But I had. I had seen him.

" Jacob." I said. "My Jacob."


	3. Discoveries

I'm here again! With the third chapter of my crazy story! Hope u like it!

* * *

><p><em>Discoveries <em>

" I can't believe that you didn't tell me!" I was angry. No, not angry. Furious. "I can't believe all of you hide such a big thing!" I was now standing in front of my family that said that they love me. The biggest joke I ever heard! I was looking at them but they didn't looked back. They just looked at the ground.

" Well, can someone please explain who's idea it was? Or why?" Nothing. No one answered me. I was running out of patience.

" someone?"

I asked once again. But no one respond. I ran upstairs, took my jacket and walked back down out trough the hole that once was a door. Leaving behind me a family that said loved me, that said that they supported me, that said that they took care of me, that said they didn't wanted to hurt me. And that just had revealed the biggest secret of all. I just couldn't believe it. I just couldn't believe that this persons had hide such a big thing from me.

I ran and ran. I wasn't sure where. I just kept running through the thick woods that surrounded the area. I couldn't think straight. I was to distracted to even care about where I was going. I might have been heading to Canada, I wasn't sure.

I suddenly recognize a smell. Alice was here. I tracked the smell and find her. She was sitting alone on a big, deformed rock. I've never notice it, but from behind and sitting on that big rock, Alice looked like a child. Like this little, defenseless kid that has lost its parents. With her tiny body and black short hair.

I walked slowly towards her. But she already knew she was coming.

" I'm really sorry Nessie" she maenad it. I sat down next to her and took her hand in mine.

_I know. _I kept her hand in mine and she looked at me. If she could cry, she would. " I promise you it wasn't my idea. I always thought that telling you was the right thing to do but…"

_I know, Alice. I believe you. I'm just a bit hurt right now, that's all. But you have to understand, this isn't easy for me. Nothing of this. I mean, one second I'm the happiest kid in the world, with an amazing family. And the next I find out that I have another grandpa, that I don't remember, that is dying. And that I have someone that is waiting for me somewhere far. He is waiting for me to come back. And I'm here. Away from him living my life without caring…_

" That's why they didn't tell you" Alice suddenly interrupted me. "Short after we had left Forks did you start to have nightmares. You waked up in the middle of the night asking for Charlie and Jacob. You cried for hours saying ' I want my Jacob'. It brooked our heart, specially Edward and Bella's heart, to see you like that. But they couldn't do anything. Then one day when you slept through the whole night, didn't you remember anything. You didn't ask about them. But you remembered us." she looked at me. I was in chock.

_How can it be possible? Grandpa said that it can have something to do with my fast growth… _I looked at her.

" we're not sure" she said.

"Carlisle also says that you're mind, unconsciously, have put on this shield to protect you…"

I didn't say anymore. I just sat there quiet, didn't say a word. It all was just to much for me to take in.

" Renesmeé?" Alice said and caught my attention. " I think its best to start going home. You need to sleep, you have school tomorrow." I hadn't realize that it was pitch-dark.

_Oh, shoot!_ I immediately raised up and started to run.

" Hurry auntie! Edward will kill me.!"

" Renesmeé Carlie Cullen!"

Ops. Mom and dad where furious. Mostly dad. As usual. And you know, no one want to make a vampire angry.

" I didn't follow you because I knew you would want some alone time to think, but it's not okay to come this late!"

If he wouldn't kind of dead, this would probably cause him an heart attack.

" I'm sorry dad."

"Oh, okay. Now the girl is sorry. After she has come the time she came, she just comes here saying 'I'm sorry' and everything is allright."

He's sarcastic tone made me want to laugh but I hold myself.

"Edward please, calm down!"

Alice tried to help me out.

"She was with me all the time. I didn't leave her. We sat down and talked and I explained everything".

He freeze and looked at me.

"Everything?" he said. I nodded.

" I know. And I want to say that I forgive you. Alice, can you please ask everyone else to come down to the dining room?"

She nodded and I started to walk down. Mom and dad followed me. Shortly was everyone down stairs. I took a deep breath and looked at them.

"I've gather you all here to tell you two things. First, I want to apologize for being so unfair. Alice told me the reasons of why you didn't tell me anything and I totally understand. I don't want you to think that I hate you, because I don't. And second, I want to tell you that I appreciate everything you have done for me. And that I love you"

They all looked at me and I looked at them.

"Of course we forgive you darling" Grandma walked towards me and gave me a hug.

_Thanks grandma._

Soon where we all sitting around the table planning our next trip to Forks. Suddenly Jasper asked me something

" How did you see Alice's visions?" it caught everyone's attention.

" I'm not sure." I said. " I just saw them"

I saw that grandpa was thinking.

" You're an amazing child, Renesmeé" he said mysteriously.

" Or maybe she's just a freak" Emmett had this grin on his face that I couldn't stand.

" You want to take thins outside? I think we have destroyed enough home furnishing for today" I was refering to the door that now had been replaced.

I looked at him. I knew he wouldn't be able to resist this challenge.

" As you wish" he said raising from his chair and bowed.

" I've always liked comedies" I said and pushed him and ran away. Now was he after me. I ran into the woods and hide behind a tree.

" I know you're here somewhere." He said loudly.

Emmett wasn't that good at surprise attacks. He was always expecting an obvious attack from his opponent, and of course I took advantage of it. I quietly climb to the tree branch that was above him. He was looking around , looking for possible ground attacks.

"Were is she?" He asked the rest of the family that now had arrived. This was my chance. I jumped down, landed on his shoulders and covered his eyes with my hands. He started to jump around with me on his shoulder. It was like riding a mechanical bull. Everyone was laughing.

" Emmet, it seems like the dwarf is winning!" Edward said.

I let go one hand from Emmet and threw my him a kiss. But when I let go did Emmet take that arm and managed to take me down of his shoulders and threw me to the ground. He started to tickle me.

" Not so though now, he?" He said.

I looked at my family and they were all smiling. Except mom that looked very strained.

" Bella, you know that she is anti-shield right? And now that she's more grown up, is it stronger."

That caught my attention.

" Stop!" I screamed and pushed Emmet away from me. He flew toward a tree and the tree broke. Everyone stopped laughing immediately.

"What's wrong?" They were all around me.

" Grandpa, what did you just say?" He looked at me, not getting anything.

" What did I say?" he looked confused.

" You told mom that because of my fast growing, my anti-shield had become stronger. Can powers become stronger?"

I looked at him waiting impatiently for an answer.

" Well, yes, if you train them. But I guess that because you're growing, does you're body provide automatically the amount of power you need."

He looked at me to make sure that I had got the answer I wanted. And I did. I flew towards him and kissed him.

" Thank you! Thank you, thank you, thank you!" I kissed him many times and he started to laugh.

" Did I just win the title ' favorite of the day' or what?" he said laughing.

I stopped and looked at him

" What? don't you get it?" I said, surprised by the facts that no one had understand.

" I am an anti-shield. I can penetrate peoples mind, show them what I think. But now that it has become stronger, can I be part of them. That's what happened with Alice's visions! I penetrated her mind like when I want to tell her something but I managed to penetrate so deep that I saw her visions. Kind of like mind reading but with uncle Jazz's mood- feeling thingy."

Everyone where in absolutely silence. Grandpa looked stunned.

"Can you try it, Nessie?" He looked at me filled with curiosity.

" Try what?" I said.

" Try to see Alice's visions again."

" I guess I could try, but she isn't having any." he started to think.

" Then try it on me" I didn't get what he meant with that.

"What… how?" I said more confused than ever.

Now he was the one that couldn't believe that no one had understand.

" I'm going to think of something and you tell me if you see it, ok?"

I nodded and took his hand. I immediately started to try to see something but I couldn't see anything. Just pitch dark nothing.

_I can't! _I said to him. He let go my hand.

" Why can't you?" he wondered.

" I don't know. I see nothing. When I saw Alice's visions did it come automatically… Because I wanted to know."

Now I got it.

" Right! Because I wanted to know what she was thinking I managed to see it. Grandpa, you always say I get what I want. Maybe my stubbornness helps in this case." I said but he seemed to have another hypothesis.

" I think that you only can see things that people hide from you." he looked at me with eyes that where full of curiosity.

" Take my hand"

I did.

" _What have you done to me?" His eyes where read and scary. Edward? I couldn't believe it! My daddy? _

" _I'm sorry son, but this is the only thing I could do to keep my promise´." did a man say with compassion, calmness but at the same time sorrow, I couldn't believe it._

_Grandpa. I was living my dads first day as vampire._

I woke up and looked at my grandpa. And then at my dad. My dad, that had the most warm and loving eyes I've ever seen. That wasn't anything like the man I've seen in my grandpas memory. No wonders about why he always changed subject when I asked him about how he became a vampire. He always tried to hide that from me. And my grandpa knew it . Now my dad looked worried at me.

"Nessie, what did you see?" he asked. I looked at him

" Your first day as a vampire." I said it like if I just founded out that he was a vampire.

Well, technically I had. I had never imagine my dad as this cold, red-eyed, scary thing. I had always seen him as my loving dad.

" My theories have been proved." my grandpa said.

" You only see memories from the past, that one person is trying to hide and forget. Or, you see a future that no one want's you to see." he said that and walked away.

Perfect! Another point to add to my freak-list.

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><p>I also wanted to thank u guys who have comment and like my story! I'll be uppdating more!<p>

Oh and BTW can anyone tell me how to get a Beta to read and correct the spelling? or don't they do that? I'm new and don't get a lot of this stuff hehe... Thanks for telling me Jasperlover98!


	4. Sweet nightmares

I give you chapter4... hope u like it and please coment!

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><p><em>Sweet nightmares<em>

After our big discoveries, I went to bed. It was after all pretty late.

The sky was loosing its darkness, and the dawn was going to break in any moment. I went upstairs to my bedroom and I soon felt asleep.

" _Nessie, we have to tell you something." mom and dad where in front of me. Judging from their sad expressions, did they have bad news. _

" _We are leaving Forks." said my dad. _

_Short and concisely. I just looked at them. I couldn't believe what I just had heard. Leave Forks? _

" _Why?" I just said. _

" _Your dad and I have decided to take a trip. All three of us. Well, all the entire family. We are going to Brazil." _

_Brazil? Where is that? _

" _Where is Brazil?" they looked at me, trying to look happier. _

" _Brazil is a country, baby. And it is far away from here." mom looked at me and smiled. _

_Oh, now I got it! We where going on vacation! _

" _When you say 'the entire family', does that include Jake and grandpa Charlie, too?" _

_I could almost imagine me that! All the family together on a vacation. It would be amazing! Mom and dad taking long trips together, grandpa Charlie trying to find a lake to fish, Jake playing with me. I would be so much fun!_

" _No, baby." dad suddenly said. " Jake and grandpa aren't coming." _

_I felt breathless. What? wouldn't they come with us? Why? They where family. And we can't leave our family. I couldn't leave Jake. He needs me, I know it! And I need him! He's my favorite bug-brother! _

" _But… Jacob needs me, mom" I saw her expression change from trying to be happy to totally and complete pain and sorrow. _

" _I'm sorry, honey" she said. _

_Sorry? How could she be sorry? She didn't know what could happen if I left Jacob. He'll get very sick because he needs me. He told me. _

"_But please!" I begged them. " Jake needs me, and I need him" _

_I grabbed their hands and showed them all those beautiful memories together with Jake. From the first time I saw him until some hours ago. Jake had been a part of my life for as long as I've been breathing, he has been with me for every heart-beat. I couldn't leave him just like that. But it didn't seem to move them. They looked cold, like statues sculptured in ice. They didn't move, I couldn't feel the love they said they had me, nothing. It was like if they had died. For real this time. _

" _Stop that, Renesmeé!" dad said and left my room. _

_He had heard every single thought - of course! I knew it- but still was I shocked of his reaction. He had never raised his voice towards me. So I looked at mom that still was standing there. She did look more sad than dad. All this hurt her more. _

" _But mom, why? Why can't we take them with us?" _

_I wanted an good explanation. I needed a good reason to leave Jake and grandpa here. But I knew that whatever she said or whatever explanation she would come up, wouldn't it be enough._

" _Because" mom began " if they come with us can they get hurt. And we don't wasn't that, right?" _

_Hurt? For real? Well that changes things. A lot. I couldn't risk their life. I would never forgive myself for being this whim. _

"_Okay" I said._

"I'm sorry Jake" _I said while I let my hand go from his. _

_He didn't say anything, he was in chock. Just like I was when my parents told me. I had shown him the entire conversations. I wanted to show him that I didn't want to leave. That I resisted them, without results though. _

" _Do you know when you're leaving?" he asked me with his voice full of sorrow. _

_I felt so bad for him. I wonder how much it hurts. To know that the one person you love like your own baby sister, the one you've been seeing every single day for all her life, the one that knows you more than anyone, is taken away from you. It felt like my stomach flipped inside out just by think of how much he'll suffer. _

" _No, I don't. But believe me, I don't want to. I don't want to know, I don't want to see, I don't want to know anything besides that I'll stay here forever. I don't want to leave you!" _

_I jumped into his arms, which was a very high jump considering his length and my 4- year old body. I felt his warm embrace and I stared to cry. I cry and couldn't stop. I didn't want to either. I just wanted to stay here, With Jake…_

I woke up. I was sobbing. The pillow was wet and I smelled like salt. Oh my gosh! I tough over my dream and started bawl. It was like if all the sorrow and pain from before and all the sorrow and pain they had been hiding from me, came at once.

"Nessie!"

Mom was right next to my bed with a worried expression on her face.

"Nessie, what's wrong?"

I sat up and hugged her as hard as I could, she wouldn't break.

"Mom," I said between my aims, " I miss him so much! I want to se him!"

I said and I knew she knew who I was talking about. She tried to comfort me, but it was in vain. It wouldn't help.

Dad entered the room. Where had he been? He and mom where always there together when something happened to me. Always. He maybe had been downstairs. Or discussing about my abilities with grandpa. Or been hunting. But whatever it was, he still entered with a lot of worry in his face.

" Baby, what's wrong?" he asked.

He immediately saw what made me sad and hit the mattress with his fist. He looked at mom.

" I told you we shouldn't remind her about him. He's just going to hurt her more. Look, she's crying again.! She wouldn't bee like this if she hadn't been reminded of him." he hissed between his teeth.

" Stop it, Edward!"

" But, it's the truth, Bella!"

I couldn't believe it! He was the one that decided that we had to leave, the one that had kept me away from him. Now was he blaming Jacob?

" I'm not blaming anyone, Renesmee." _Un-freaking-believable!_

" Yes, you are!"

He just stared at me. I didn't know if it was about my thought or for me contradicting him.

" Both" he said.

" Well, both are the truth, dad" I quote him.

" You're not being fair."

" Where you?"

" I tried to do the best for you"

" Or was it the best for you?"

" What?"

He looked at me like if I just had called him for murderer.

" What was good in taking me away from Jacob? Or taking _me_ away from him? Who would be happy? If you had been doing what was best for me, would you have let me stay, or take him with us. But you didn't. Why? "

I looked at him. This wasn't a rhetorical question. I wanted an answer.

" I have nothing to say."

He raised up and left the room. I stared at the wall that had been behind him, didn't look after him, didn't follow him with the eyes. I heard the door smell. Tears started to roll down my cheeks. I laid down. Mom started to caress my hair.

" Nessie, don't be so hard in him. You know that when something happens that affects his family, does he do the first best thing to protect them" she was trying to defend him. But nothing could defend what he had done.

" But what would possibly had happen to make him take that decision?"

" Well, we were going to Brazil to find out more about you."

" But why couldn't he come?"

" Well, you now, he's a werewolf… vampires don't like werewolves…" I lost my breath. Could it be possible?

" So dad took me away from Jake, just because he didn't like him?"

Now was I furious. This was even more un freaking believable!

" No, you dad hadn't anything against Jake. But the vampires we where going to meet didn't like werewolves. That's why we decided to leave Jacob."

I relaxed.

" But why didn't we come back?"

" I don't know. He never told me."

No was I - not furious- but angry. What had possibly hade make him not return. He couldn't have forgotten Jake. Dad had an impeccable memory, and, as far as I know, vampires don't get amnesia.

Mom bend over and kissed my head.

" But whatever he hide" she began, " am I sure it was for the best."

She left the room. And I cried. Impossible. I didn't know anything better than being with my Jacob. So ' that whatever he did it was for was the best' was another of his- now discovered- lies.


	5. Deals

_Deals_

I woke up earlier than I used too. I dressed and went down stairs. I walked to the kitchen and made me some scrambled eggs. But I didn't have appetite. I literally pressed the eggs trough my throat and drank a big glass of water. No one was there. They had probably heard our conversation and thought it might been better to leave me alone. Even Emmett kept away. Which I was thankful of. I might had made _him _scrambled.

I walked to the panorama window that was behind the dining room. I looked out and the outside looked somehow greyer than ever. Well_, everything _was grey. Even grandmas roses looked grey.

I kept looking out of the window. Searching for answers. Like if the view in front of me was a 'find five errors on this picture' game that came with the papers. And I had found the first error. In this picture, I hadn't Jacob. And now was I trying to find the other missing parts of the entirety of my immortal and endless life. That now, somehow didn't look as pretty and perfect as I believed. It was like the picture that my entire family had painted for me - the one with sunshine, flowers and eternal happiness- had become old and the paint had peel of and revealed the grey and sad reality. That wasn't as pretty as they wanted me to believe. I don't understand.

I twisted and turned around with my thoughts but didn't get any answers. I didn't get it. I felt a headache crawl and I went upstairs and I took an aspirin.

I hold myself when I passed by grandpas office.

" Renesmee?"

I looked at the door and saw my grandpa sitting down by his desk.

" Hi grandpa"

" Can I talk with you for a second?"

I didn't want to. I knew where this was heading and I really didn't want to talk about it

I entered his office and stand completely still.

" I heard that you had an argument with your father last night"

Of course he had.

" Did he send you to talk with me?"

" Yes and no"

Just when I thought he couldn't be more of a coward.

" Well, I think he should be a man and tell me himself."

" Renesmee…"

" No grandpa. I wont forgive him until he gives me a good explanation…"

" Even if he gives you that or not, you don't know the whole truth."

" Then why doesn't he tell me that? You think I enjoy fighting with him? I've never been angry at him but you have to understand that all this is too much for me… and… I can't take it…"

I sat down on the floor and started to cry.

The frustration swept over me like when a wave knocks you out of the water and I couldn't hold my tears from running, which also mad me frustrated.

I suddenly felt a breeze and before I noticed was I in my grandpas embrace. He held me in his arms with love and care. And I was bursting out in tears while he held me.

This wasn't fair. He shouldn't see me like this, it wasn't his fault.

" Sorry grandpa, I shouldn't have take all this on you, but it's just…"

" I understand you. But you have to understand him too. Being a vampire isn't easy. We always have to think twice before we decide something. It can have huge consequences. You saw me. I struggled a lot before deciding to change Edward, because I knew it wouldn't be easy for him. But I did it. And what I feared would happen, did. He past trough a really tough time…"

I just looked at him. Confused.

" But what do this have to do whit my problem?"

" Edward had a tough time because he made the wrong decisions. And he doesn't want you to regret your wrong decisions.

" But aren't mistakes a way learn?"

" But if someone who loves you sees that your going to make a mistake you'll regret and wont learn from, will he do whatever he can to make you suffer as less as possible."

It made sense. I was hard with him, I got that. But still, I wanted to know _why_ he had decided that. I think grandpa knows but he wont tell me.

I looked quickly at the watch above his bookshelf. A quarter to nine. I was dressed and had done my hair and eat breakfast, still, I didn't want to go to school. What did it if I missed a day of high school? I had forever to catch up. Literally.

" Grandpa, can you call school to say I wont go."

" What's wrong dear? Are you sick?"

" No, it's just that I'm don't want to go to school today. I… didn't sleep well…"

He didn't say more and started do dial the number to school and I went upstairs.

" C'mon Nessie, well be late" Alice said with her childish voice.

" I wont go to school today, I'm sick."

" Oh. Well, get better." She knew I wasn't sick. But I was happy that she didn't ask more.

I went to my room and tried to sleep. With no success. I had so many things going on in my head.

I started to hear voices. I heard Jacob calling my name. I had now remembered how he sounded. And it was, after my mums, the most calming voice I had ever heard. I kept imagine his voice. Calling. Talking to me. Laughing.

It hurt a lot realize that I had been almost seven years without him. I felt an emptiness growing inside my chest. It was like if it was growing bigger for every minute that passed.

My personal torture. I couldn't take a breath. I felt the pain. I felt my stomach tie itself to a knot and tighten up. I felt how my lungs stopped to work, how it's well arranged dance didn't follow the music. I clossed my eyes in hope for that pain to disappear, but it didn't. They did instead fill with tears and I opened them. Was this what I had felt as a kid? This awful emptiness that had made me wake up every single night? The cause of my constant nightmares?

It grew bigger and bigger.

Panic. I panicked. I flew out of the bed, into the bathroom. I didn't know what to do. I wanted to take that thing out of me, I didn't want it.

I drank water to fill that emptiness, but I didn't help. I wanted to take a knife, cut my chest and take out whatever that was inside me, but I couldn't.

I went to the toilet seat and bend over it. I putted my fingers into my throat and started to through up. I wanted to take it all out in my desperation.

" Renesmee what are you doing?" I heard my dad exclaim horrified.

I looked up and met his eyes.

Fear. Pure fear.

I wanted to raise up and tell him that I was fine but I couldn't stop throwing up. He ran towards me and held my hair away from my face. His cold fingers calmed me a bit.

In less than a second did he get me a glass of water. And I started to drink.

" What the hell are you thinking!"

I asked myself the same question. I had never thought of make myself through up.

" I panicked"

It wasn't a good explanation but it was the truth.

" Panicked?"

I nodded.

In that second I felt completely stupid and reckless.

_Stupid, stupid, STUPID!_

" Then why did you do it?"

I took his hand in mine, I couldn't bother to speak.

_I just,,, panicked. I don't know. I had this…this…thing that grew bigger and bigger. I couldn't breathe…so I panicked. Which made me put my fingers in my mouth and… well you saw._

"What did you say you had?"

Parents! Don't they listen?

He just laughed quickly at my protest. But it didn't last long before he got that serious look that he had have for some seconds ago.

"Where is mom?"

"She's already left."

"Then why are you here?" That surprised me. He did never leave mom. They were constantly together, like nail and flesh, or nail and dirt.

He interrupted my bizarre comparisons of the way they loved each other.

" I just heard that you didn't know what to do and I saw when you looked at your fingers."

_Oh… I should've guessed…_

"C'mon. Let's take you to your room." he said to me as if he was talking to a seven year old.

" How old do you think you _are_?"

I saw his point.

I stood up but he took me and carried me back to my bedroom.

I felt like a kid again. All the time I had pretended to be asleep so he would carry me to my bed.

" Really?" he said with wonder in his voice.

_Like you didn't know…?_

" No. I've never known until now…"

_Wow. But. Hmm. That's weird…_

" Tell me about it. You have always been an odd kid Renesmee, and you never stop surprising me."

_Don't you mean ' never stop freaking me out'?" _

" Well that too."

I smiled.

He did too. But he didn't look totally relief. As if he wasn't sure of my happiness.

Then I remembered.

And he saw where I was heading.

" I can explain…"

_Oh you better have…_

But that was just a thought, I wasn't going to give him a chance to talk.

" Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, you better have a damn good explanation of why we left Forks! I want to know what flew in to you. Why didn't you go back even if you promised me that we would. Why have you been hiding this from me all the time?" I became a volcano in plain eruption. I was _not _calm, and I wouldn't be it either.

I Just watch dads expression. Like if he was ashamed of hearing that from his own daughter. So I kept on

" I mean come on! I deserve to know, and so does poor Jake. He must be devastated! And for all this time!" I stopped . When I remembered about Jake and how we'd made him feel when we left, did that empty, painful emptiness start to grow inside my chest.

" Well?" I said while I tried to breathe slowly to not panic again.

" What do you want to hear?"

For all that's holy, was he retarded?

" The reason why… everything!"

He opened his mouth but didn't say a word.

He was thinking. While he should say something or not.

If he would reveal one thing or if he should keep quit about it.

I saw my chance.

I flew towards him and grabbed his arm.

_I just saw a him carrying a box up to the attic. I watch the big brown box which said_ Forks_._

I let go his hand.

I pretended to be confused.

_Dang it! This thing doesn't work when I need it…_

" Renesmee don't you never ever do that again!"

I looked at him.

" Fine" I said it with a very arrogant tone, which would make him very pissed. " But you can't hide things from me for ever, you know"

" But as long as _you _are _my _daughter, I can decide weather I want to tell you something or not! It's not up to you, Renesmee"

He snapped.

As I hoped for.

He was out of the house in less than a second, but I waited one minute until I was sure that he was far away.

It was very hard to hide thoughts from him. He didn't knew I could. No one did, except myself. But it wasn't easy. It demanded a _lot_ of effort to manage to do that. I had to hide them behind other thoughts. It was like lying to myself. A bit…uncomfortable.

But I had the image in my head, and that was all that counted.

This box was the only thing that _might_- I wasn't really sure of what it content- be the answer to my unanswered questions.

I felt that I now was closer to find that second thing missing on my 'find five errors' picture.

I stood quiet and listen to any noise.

My fake siblings had gone.

My dad had run off.

My grandpa was in his office doing some paper job from the hospital.

My grandma was sketching…something.

The coast was clear.

I looked for the door that leaded to the attic. Ironicly, didn't I know where it was.

Where does attic doors usually be?

I looked up and find a door painted cream, just like the rest of the ceiling.

I froze underneath it.

I had to be quiet.

If Edward knew about the box, must the rest of my family know too. And I didn't want to risk getting caught by my grandparents before I'd discovered what was in it.

I would have to look quickly. But it wouldn't be easy. Attics are known for beeing places where people put unnecessary stuff in. Like their old year books, the bed they got when they got married and eaven things that belonged in the trash. And if my family had been saving things since the last century , did it mean that up there was there a _lot _of stuff!

I sighed loudly at the thought of it.

I opened the door, looked at the darkness above me and jumped up as quietly as I could. I didn't want to make some noise or get the stairs, they might heard me.

I got surprised when I got up to the attic.

There was _nothing _there.

Then I felt disappointed. There did my chances go.

The only light I got was the one from a window on the ceiling, not that I _needed _it.

What did I see wrong? It was like I had seen the box with my own eyes. Why wasn't it here?

I turned around, ready to jump down again when my eyes suddenly focused on a shadow.

At the most hidden corner of the attic was it darker than the rest of the attic.

It took a while for my eyes to focus on the object that had been placed there for a reason, so no one could find it.

Then I saw it clearly as if there was a light right above it.

The box!

I flew towards it and red what said on it.

It was signed _Forks_ and was written and underlined with a black marker.

My breath stopped and my heart was going faster, than usual.

I bended over and open it.

On the top were there some upside down photo frames. With the back hidden from me.

I lifted it up and turned it towards me.

The tears began to roll down instantly when I saw the pictures.

It had with no doubt been taken in Forks.

I was outside, in front of what might have been the house where we had lived.

In the stair was Jacob sitting, with me on his lap.

How old can I'd been? I looked like year and a half, or two? But how _old _was I _really_? I did the math I couldn't been more that some months.

Had it been so long?

My eyes focused on Jakes face. I had seen him in my memories but it was _nothing_ like watching this picture.

He was…_beautiful? _Or was _gorgeously breathtaking _the right word to describe him?

His smile, his eyes, even his posture beamed happiness. Nothing else. A happiness that now had been taken away from this amazing person that I was looking at.

But how could I forget _him? _A face like that could _not _be forgotten that easily as I did.

I felt a bit ashamed.

There was another picture in the box.

I was with mom and another man, older then her.

_Grandpa, _I said in a whisper.

Another punch in the stomach.

This man, my grand father, looked really happy too. And so did mom and I.

We were happy I Forks. Why did we leave?

I suddenly felt an anger growing bigger. Why did my dad take away that happiness from us and from this persons?

_Calm down Renesmee,_ I told myself.

I kept looking in the box.

There had to be something else than this pictures that my dad didn't want me to see.

I kept looking.

I founded something that looked like an address book.

Can this be the thing he didn't want me to see?

I flipped through the pages but nothings was written on them.

A note fell down from one of the pages. It was folded.

I opened it with shaking hands.

It had a phone number. A phone number that belonged to _Jacob Black_.

My heart skipped a beat, or two. Or maybe it had stopped beating at all.

Jakes phone number? Had I been _this _close to him all the time?

I suddenly remembered how to breath and my heart started to beat again.

I was in chock. What should I do?

Should I call? Shouldn't I? if I did what would I say? Would he remember me? How will he react? Will he be happy to hear from me again? Or will he be angry and hung up on my?

All this questions needed to be answered. But no one would be answer if I kept chicken out.

I lifted up my phone from my pocket.

I dialed the numbers with shaking hands.

One peep.

Another peep.

Third peep

" _Hello?"_

SHOOOOOT!

" _Hello?"_

He sounded inpatient, irritated?

" _Paul if you're prank calling again I swear I'll kill you!"_

" No"

I heard my voice, but also another voice that didn't belong to me.

I turned around and saw that Edward was there. With his face twisted with pain, remorse and…fear?

" _Hello?"_

Wow, he had temper.

" Please don't!" he whispered so low that no one Could've herd what he said.

He knew what I would do, but it was to late.

" Is this Jacob Black?"

" _Yes"_

He sounded confused now.

" _Who is this?"_

I wanted to say ' Nessie' or ' the girl that was taken away from you for many years ago, the one you saw as your sister'.

" Renesmee, please don't do this to me."

Edwards eyes and voice were now begging.

I saw my shot.

I pressed the red button and hanged up.

I stood up from my sitting position with the picture of me and Jake.

I looked him right in the eyes.

" How could you" I said showing him the picture. " How could you do something like this?"

" I didn't have a choice."

No, that one had I heard too many times now.

" Why didn't you have a choice?"

I remained still and cold.

" It's not the most simple thing to explainer…"

" Because you don't want to." I interrupted him.

" You have to now that I'm sorry if this caused you more pain. You have to know that I would do _anything_ to make you feel better…"

_Oh, really._ I thought. We'll se about that.

" Okay" I said with same cold tone. " I'll forget everything and don't care about what made you not go back if…"

I did a dramatic pause, just for fun.

" We go back to Forks and stay there"

He looked surprised.

Hehe.

He swallowed loudly.

" Okay" he said shortly.

I walked towards him.

" Then we have a deal" I said.

" I guess we do" he said.

We shake hands.

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><p>That was chapter 5 people! In next chapter, there will be changes... but that demands some reviews;) so don't hesitate in reviewing!<p>

XOXO


	6. Weird

**Okay People here's chapter 6! And I just realized thet I'd forgot to tell you guys that I'm wrighting _both _from Nessie's and Jakes's POV's! Sorry about that... This is now from Jacobs pov and it starts where ch 5 left of... kind of... you'll get it when you read it;) Enjoy and PLEASE comment!**

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><p><em>Weird <em>

I stared at the phone. What was that? Or _who _was that?

I kept looking at the phone like it would answer my questions.

Now it's official, I've lost it.

Well, I lost it a while ago. But it seems to get worse for everyday that passes. Is it even possible?

But actually, was it _my _fault.

I kept encouraging myself, kept filling my mind with some kind of self-destructing pep talks. The first months when I started to become anxious about her depart I kept saying 'She'll be back soon'. Then after a year, when the communication between us had brooked and my phone calls to a number that never answered me, I told myself ' wow they must be _really _into something now that it's taking them a year over there'.

And then, short after that. I received the note.

It was not a happy not, or a sad. It was an _indifferent _note. Something that wouldn't change anything, as he expected.

I'd read the note over and over, I had even memorized every single word, even though they were words I _didn't _want to memorize. Still they popped up in my head at any random moment.

_Jacob._

_Stop calling or try to get _any_ contact with Renesmee. She has forgotten _everything

_Edward Cullen_

Forgotten? Did she got amnesia? Was it temporary?

But I was sure of one thing. She couldn't forget _everything_. It was impossible.

Yes, no kid remember it's first years of life. But Renesmee wasn't like the other kids, she was special and _much _smarter than other kids.

So no, I didn't believe that she'd forgotten me. And even though everyone-even Seth- kept telling me ' she wont come back.' did I always answer ' no, she has to'.

And now, almost seven years after am I still holding on to that hope of they returning. So I'm practically holding on to nothing

I remember when my dad told me the same thing, just some months ago. That was when it all fell for me.

His words somehow made sense. I did actually _listen _to the content in those words. Words that now decorated my mind with it's constant echoing.

I hit the wall in pure frustration.

" hey Jake, take it easy! What has that wall ever done to you?" My dad showed up besides me. " You know if you break it, either you fix it or pay for the reparation."

His attempt to cheer me up was as helpful as taking a guy who 's trying to quit drinking to a ' drink-as-much-as-you-want' bar. Not helpful.

He saw my expression and sighed loudly.

" Son, I've told you this before, and I don't want to sound negative but…"

" I know, I know… She wont come back."

Those words sounded somehow even _more _bitter when I said them. Maybe because I still had that little hope that she would come back. Still hoped that she would remember me.

She had to remember me. Remember me as much as I remembered her. I mean, she kind of got it. Got my strange and wired bound to her? I think.

I straighten up and went to my room.

My dad didn't follow me, or asked me any questions.

I closed the door to my room and laid down on the to small bed.

I closed my eyes and started to listen. I wasn't listening after something specific. I just wanted to fill my head with sounds so that I could forget everything. I wanted to drown in the million different sounds that surrounded me.

I laid there for about an hour until I realized that I couldn't stay there for ever.

I stood up and got the sweater that was laying on the chair by the desk.

It was cold for being mid-April.

I didn't _need_ a sweater, but any _normal_ guy would.

" I'm taking a walk." I'm shouted.

"Okay" he shouted back from the kitchen. "I'm going to visit Charlie later, there's food in the fridge."

I didn't answer and walked out.

I started to think of how strange this world was.

Of _all _the people in the world, did Charlie get an heart attack. _Charlie_.

He was with my dad when it happened, they had been fishing. But Charlie wasn't the man who liked to look vulnerable, or been taken care of. Just like… Bella.

I shook of the melancholy feeling that her named filled me with, and I kept walking. Lately, was walking the only calm thing around me. Just walking. Not running or jogging as I liked to do before. Not even running when I was in my other form did I find as calming. Just walking in normal, human speed.

It was somehow… calming.

"Hey Jake!"

And the peace was over.

" Hey Seth." I said without the same enthusiasm.

" Where are you going?"

" I'm just going to take a walk"

_Alone_, I wanted to say. But he seemed to get it.

"Oh, okay"

Seth looked at me. Not really _looking_ but _inspecting _me.

"What?" I gasped.

" I don't know?"

Huh?

" What do you mean ' I don't know'"

That kid was weird.

" I'm just…I'm not sure, but…"

" What?" I said annoyed.

I don't liked when people hesitate.

Seth interrupted the silence.

" Have you ever felt _really_ sorry for a close friend?"

" Well… Yeah, maybe… Why?"

He kept looking at me.

" So sorry that you sometimes, very often, want to tell him to go and search for help… like rehab or something about that…?"

Was it me or was he trying to tell me something?

"What do you mean?"

"Well…" he started "I'm worried about you, man. You're keeping holding on that she'll come back, but I'm not sure. You see… if Edward told you that they would return, would they have come for a _long_ time ago. It's has been seven years now" he did a pause but I didn't say anything . I just let the words sink in.

He continued.

" Of all the people around here- besides you of course- the one who have a _complete_ faith on the Cullen's. but now, I'm loosing my faith on them more for every day."

Suddenly did I _understood_ the meaning of his words.

" Faith on the_ Cullen's_? I don't have faith on _them_! I could care less of that bunch of bloodsuckers. I care _only_ about Renesmee. _She_ is the reason of my constant worry. If she returned with only_ half_ her family wouldn't I be sorry as long as _she_ was ok. Nothing else matters besides _her_ for me."

The words flew out of my mouth without me understanding the meaning in them. I just looked at Seth that was looking at me with big and surprised eyes. It was a very funny image that almost made me smile._ Almost._

I didn't understand why he was so surprised until I actually realized what I just had said. I hadn't told this to anyone. Actually, I don't think I'd talked this much for _years_. I had become that 'suffering-in-silence' type. Kept distance from everyone. I thought of myself as a victim of the bizarre magical world that I'd been dragged into without my approval. I could be class as a martyr. Saint Jacob. What a joke! Now this made me smile.

" You're smiling?" Said Seth with even more wonder in his voice than before.

" It's a strange world we live in, isn't it?"

I said no more. I just took his head under my arm and ruffed his hair with my fist. He was still shorter than me. But he would catch up.

I started to run, leaving a surprised and paralyzed Seth behind me and entered the thick forest that surrounded the reservation.

I did unconsciously dirge my steps to a little and narrow path that had been created during my infancy. To a place that I went to when I wanted to be alone or where I wanted to get away from my sisters, or from my dad when I did something bad. It was like my own escape.

After some minutes of walking did I come to my getaway. It didn't seem like an super secret getaway. No one would thought that this was a getaway for a child. It wasn't this typical tree house. It was just the roots and a trunk of a tree that had fallen before I was born. The tree itself was rotten but it had grown a lot of moss on it, which made it comfortable to sit on. And sitting here did I have a view over a little green glade where I used to sit and look up at the sky. I laid there the first years after my mums death. I thought that by looking to the sky I would see her again. Oh, the innocence of a child. How I wish that I was so easy now.

I went to the glade and laid down on the frosty grass. It was cold and I shivered once but the frost of the grass melted immediately with the heat of my body. And I did as when I was a kid. I looked up to the sky. I was following the soft contours of the thick grey clouds.

I thought of what my life had been before I became a werewolf. How everything was so easy. How everything made sense. Then I thought how much my new abilities had complicated things. My relationship with my father and my friends. When I thought of friends did Bella automatically appear in my head. She was the first outsider to know about my new skills, so to say. But then, I wasn't the first mythical creature she'd met. She had met Edward which lead to that the things complicated a bit more.

Edward Cullen.

I thought his name over and over. Some times with a tone of hate, some with disgust and some with nonchalance. Why did he had to come back? It was the question I had asked myself during the first year of his reappearance. But the one thing we had in common was Bella. We both wanted her to be safe. So we fought the read-heads army. Together. No treads, no laws, nothing. Just her. And then, did we once again fought to protect someone we loved. Nessie. The only person I cared of. Bella had now become a friend. Now was Renesmee my everything. That little beautiful girl that I would die over and over for.

" When will I see you again?" I said to myself.

I almost immediately thought of the phone call I'd received today. It had been something in that voice that was familiar, in a way that I wasn't familiar with. And in some point did I seem to hear his voice. Edwards voice. I shook it of. Paranoid.

I didn't feel the time passing by. I just laid there until I saw that the sun was starting to go down. I could've stayed out all night, but I didn't want my dad to freak out. Or make the else look for me.

I suddenly decided to do something I hadn't done for a long time.

I rose up from the now wet grass. My silhouette was marked in where the frost had melted because of my heat.

I started to run as never before. I ran into the woods while taking my clothes of. I took a deep breathe and jumped. I felt how I became what I for so long had try to hide. What had complicated everything. My paws landed quietly on the ground and I started to run even faster. I didn't know where I was running I just knew I was.

_Who's there?_

Leah's annoying tone appeared in my head.

_Jake_

I felt how she flinched.

_Long time no seeing. What'cha doing out here?_

_Trying to think_ I replied in a kind of bitter tone.

_Always as bitter _she said and then it was all quiet.

I ran for about an hour until I decide to return home. And to my surprise did I see my dad sitting in one of the chairs in the kitchen.

"I thought you where at Charlie's?" I said looking at him while I went to the fridge to have a coke.

"I was" he said briefly " Sit down Jake, I need to tell you something"

Oh boy. When he wanted me ' to sit down, I need to talk' was it probably to give my some 'fathers advice'.

"What?"

He looked at me, more examined me.

" Well, when I was at Charlie's did he get a phone call. We went to the kitchen. He exclaimed once or twice but was quiet for most of the time. Then he told me some good news" he looked to see my reaction but I couldn't get why we needed to talk about Charlie having a phone call.

"Jacob" he said " They're coming back to Forks"

I was about to ask him who _they _where but I suddenly got it.

I felt breathless, like having an asthma attack. The room started to spin around and nothing made sense. I wanted to ask him a lot of questions but I only could figure out one. For me the most important.

" Is Nessie also coming?" I said and looked at him.

He nodded.

A sudden happiness overflow me and I felt like I wanted to scream.

The phone rang. I went up to answer.

"Hello?"

Silence.

" hello?"

"_Hello"_

"Who's this?"

" _eh.. I would like to talk to ehm.. Jacob Black?"_

who was this?

" It's me"

Silence once again.

" Okay, whoever you are I don't have time to play around and…"

"_It's Renesmee."_

The silence was now absolutely.


	7. Surprises

**Here i give you ch 7! it's a really short chapter, still Jakes POV. I'll warn you when we head back to Nessie again. I know it will be confusing, tell me if you don't like it. I still have 2 other chapters from jakes POV that I _will _upload no matter what... but if you don't like it or it feels to confusive, I'll wright only from Nessies POV after that...**

**Please R&R & enjoy3**

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><p><em>Surprises<em>

I froze for a brief moment. Could it be possible? Could it?

"_Hello?"_

The voice on the other side of the phone sounded a bit worried.

"_Jacob?"_

I hesitated before answering "Yes?"

I sigh of relief sounded.

"_How… how are you?"_

"Huh?" was the only thing that I was able to say.

"_How are you? Are you okay? Aren't you sick? How do you feel? Is there something wrong…"_

"No I'm fine. Thanks" I couldn't believe it. " Renesmee as in Renesmee Cullen?"

"_Yes"_

" Oh… oh my god! Renesmee is it you, is it really you?" the happiness couldn't possibly fit in my boy. I couldn't contain my self.

"_Yes, it's me Jacob" _she was happy too, I could feel it and hear it.

" How are you?"

_"Just fine, thanks"_

I couldn't believe it!

"_Eh… Jacob? Can… I ask you something?"_

Anything! Anything for you my life! I wanted to scream that out loud. Well I did it in my head.

"Of course"

"_Have you missed me?"_

" Like _hell_…"

I wasn't sure if that was a thought of if I had said that out loud. I hear her giggle quietly. That sound, that little almost unnoticed noise was- in that moment- _everything _to me.

Suddenly I felt an urge to get some answers to my questions. Why they had left. If the letter that Edward had sent me was fake, if she hadn't forgot me. But there was one question that might answer all those other questions.

"Have you missed me?" I said.

"_Well, these past two days… like I'd never _ever_ missed someone in my life before."_

Past two days?

" And before?"

"_ I didn't remember you… until yesterday…"_

So it was true?

"oh"

"_Eh.. My dad talked to my grandpa…"_

"Charlie?"

"_Yes. Charlie…" _she repeated that three times to herself _"We're coming back to Forks"_ She said and her voice reflected her happiness.

" When?" even though I knew I didn't know when, something that I urged to know.

"_Eh.. This weekend I think… I hope…"_

" I cant wait to see you again, Nessie"

"_Nessie? How did you know my…?"_

Wow, she really didn't remember anything, did she?

" _I _gave you that nickname"

" _Really_?" she sounded surprised

"Yeah" _" Did.. I have nickname to you?" _

"Well, you called me Jake, like everyone else…"

"_Jake… _My _Jake…"_

Those two words made my heart skip a beat. I felt how the ground started to move and how everythingseemed to move around.

" Yes" I said breathless " I'm_ your _Jake"

Yours and no one else's. Only yours. Forever.

"_I got to go. Edward's here…"_

No. I didn't want her to go, was that bloodsucking beast trying to make her forget me again?

"What's up with him?" _"I'm not supposed to talk to you. Not for now at least. We kind of have a deal…" _

"Will you call me again?" I didn't let her finish.

" _If he doesn't catch me now… yes. Well, I'll do my best."_

"oh, okay the… Bye Nessie"

"_Bye Jake"_

" Love you…"

No answer. She'd hung up. But this little amount of time was enough for me to once again run out and change. But this time with happiness.

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><p><strong> I had written this in the chapter before but don't know why it didn't show up... or maybe it was just me... but anyway I'll wright it once again to be sure and because you guys deserve this!<strong>

**I wanted to thank all of you that even with my horrible spelling, sometimes boring and unecessary stuff, had add this story to thair story alerts and favourite stories and those who have reviewed!**

**ScorpiusRoseLover**

**wolfpack princess**

**Jasperlover98**

**Funny Bunni 987**

**moonlight125 (Love you babe! thaxs for suporting me and helping me with everything from this weird story 2 real life!)**

**luv2beloved**

**powerpuff4ever**

**THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH! **


	8. You're grown up

**Hey guys! So I didn't update yesterday 'cus the site was a bit messed up and I couldn't log in... But here I am with chapter 8 of When Eternity isn't Enough...**

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><p><em>You're grown up<em>

_What's up with the cheeriness? _Seth asked, not surprised, but suspicious.

_She'll come back! I always knew she would! _I said almost singing it.

_Who's back? _Leah had now joined us, or maybe she had always been there.

_My baby, Nessie! _

_No way! _Seth exclaimed

_Wait what? _Leah exclaimed even louder _the human/ bloodsucker fast growing baby/freak? With mommy and daddy bloodsucker? And rest of the leaches?_

_Hey! _I yelled at her _Knock it of , Leah!_

_Sorry _she mumbled.

_Is Carlisle and Esme also coming?_ Seth asked. And I would've to. The two main leaches where okay.

_I think so_ I replied him

_As long as the blonde annoying chic stay wherever they…_

_I don't think she would leave Renesmee, Leah…_

_Oh, crap!_

We continued towards wherever we were going and soon we met Paul and Embry.

_Look who's out! _Paul shouted

_Heey, dude! _Embry greeted me _long time no see_

_Yep _I said _long time…_

_So what made you leave your fortress? You gave up? _Paul said trying. If he'd said that twenty minutes ago I would probably have chased him down and cracked a few of his bones, but I was to overwhelmed of happiness to care about his stupid comments.

_The awful smelling leaches are coming back _Leah answered him _with the mini lea… one._

_Really? _Embry replied surprised _Renesmee? that was like… who would've thought…_

_Jacob. _another voice, a more powerful one. Sam.

_Yeah _I said shortly

_Come to my place, we need to talk._

_Uh-oh _I heard Seth say while I changed my course.

Sam was at the porch of his house waiting for me. Only one light was turned on, the one in the kitchen. Emily wasn't home.

"I'm here" I said looking at him.

He gestured with his head towards the door. I entered and he came behind shutting the door, not hard, but with a bit of power.

"I heard she's coming back" Sam said while he sat down on one of the chairs in the -to small for him - kitchen.

"_Renesmee_ is coming back, yes" I said correcting him.

" And the rest of them too?"

" I'm not sure… she didn't tell me, but I think so."

Sam sighed looking out the little window above the sink before turning his eyes towards me.

"Jake, listen. I know how important she's for you, I know. But remember that we don't now what they've told her about you. She might don't even know that you…"

"Look, I understand what you're trying to say. But you know I wont be able to _not _be that way towards her." I said looking into his eyes.

" I know that, but anyway, you have to be careful. The least we would want now would be another conflict between…"

"Sam, no one is going to get in trouble with anyone. We'll behave."

" I'm not talking about the rest. I'm talking about _you _and the girl's father. Have you even wondered why they left? I bet he had something to do with it. And the note…"

I had no patience to hear him go on and on about the same thing again so I stopped him before he could continue.

" Look, Sam. I'm sorry if I might be worrying you with all this but you have to understand that I can't promise you anything. Edward and I have _never_ liked each other. Not with Bella, not with Renesmee, even though he seemed totally okay with it at first."

Sam just looked at me and I knew by his look that this conversation was over. He'd given up. He knew that an imprint was hard to deal with.

I turned around and started to walk towards the door when he called me.

"Jake"

I turned around and met his gaze.

"Please, don't do anything stupid"

I nodded and went out.

"Are you coming or what?" my dad shouted to me from outside. We were going to go visit Charlie.

" Boy you've been naggin' _every single day_ since that girl called ya' and now you won't hurry?"

I ran out and opened the car door to help him in on the passenger seat, then I went to the drivers seat.

"Move the car, Jake"

He was as impatient as I was to get to Charlie's. But I think he was mostly worried. Worried about what would happen in less then an hour.

The road to Charlie's house felt longer than ever before, even though I took the same amount of time like always. I was inpatient, anxious, nervous and a lot of other things at the same time. But I was worried to. What if they didn't come? She hadn't called me since the last time and I was worried that Edward might had catch her and they've moved again.

I felt how my hands started to sweat and how my heart beated hard in my chest.

We reached Charlie's house. I took the extra key that was hidden in the usual place and I opened the door.

"Hey, man!" my dad shouted " You alive?"

"You bet!" Charlie answered him from the couch where he was laying watching a game.

"C'mon in. Hey, Jake." he said trying to me. I nodded in response. And that was enough for him. It seemed like he still hadn't get use to me, see me the way he used to. And I didn't blame him.

"What's this?" my dad said taking up a bottle of beer from the foot of the couch.

"My vitamin" Charlie responded with a slight grin.

"This isn't good for ya' man, not in your condition" my dad replied while he took the can to his mouth and drank. I took the bottle from him.

"It isn't healthier for you than it is for him. No matter which condition you are in" I said and took the bottle back to the kitchen. I open the fridge and I tossed them each a bottle of water which they weren't happy about.

We sat there watching the game fore less then one hour - an eternity for me - when I heard the sound of a spinning engine. A good engine. A sound that wasn't part of this city.

I raised and went directly to the window and I saw a car coming from far away. I hid behind the see-through curtains while I saw the car approach.

"Who is it?" Charlie asked and was now by my side.

"Careful, Charlie, stay in the…" I turned around to prevent him from rising, but he was allready on his feet.

"You stay in the couch, son. I'm health…"

" Healthy as a horse" I said before he could. "But even the healthiest horse need to settle down" I said looking at him. But he didn't listen.

From close I cold see the car. It was black with polarized, black windows. You couldn't even see the driver, which made me anxious. What if it wasn't she? A false alarm? A trick?

The car pulled in to the driveway and I saw Charlie on the porch waiting.

The engine stopped and the drivers door opened.

He was the first to go out.

He walked towards Charlie and shook his hand. They talked a bit, then they smiled at each other. How could Charlie and Edward _smile?_ they were smiling like nothing had happened. Like they never left. Like nothing had happened.

Edward looked towards the car and the passengers door opened.

Bella stepped out of the car looking… pale. Hmm, I wonder why?

I saw how she walked towards Charlie and hugged him as tight as she could without hurting him. I saw she tried hard not to. They talked and she laughed. Or _tried_ to. Bella, always the same, never change. I felt my lips rising and then freeze when another door opened.

Blondie appeared. She smiled but didn't walk to Charlie like the rest. The door was open and I saw movement but she was standing in the way.

Suddenly she looked at the window where I stood spying. She met my gaze and I met hers. She stared at me with hate. I blinked with my one eye and grinned towards her. She was furious, just as I wanted to make her. She shut the car door with a slam, still watching me.

The rest looked at her and I saw that Edward knew what had upset her. It was time.

I left my hiding place and went to the door. My dad was still in the living room and gave me a look that said 'don't mess up'.

"Hey stranger!" I greeted Bella.

"Jake!" she walked, almost jogged to me and gave me a hug. I hugged her back. I just couldn't be hostile. Not to her.

"Sorry" she mumbled into my ear.

"It's okay" and I was honest. With her. If someone had to apologize was it her husband. Not she.

Husband.

It felt weird to say 'Bella' and 'Husband' in the same sentence. And I knew so did she.

"Rosalie" I heard Edward say looking away from me. Bella walking towards him laying her pale hand on his.

"But…" she didn't finish her sentence, Edward was looking at her. Searching for a hint of comprehension. Something _I _thought you never would get out of Blondie.

With anger did she leave the car and walked towards the house. When she passed me did she glare at me. If her eyes could kill…

I hadn't notice that everyone had gone inside. Rosalie had been the last to enter.

I heard Bella saying hello to my dad and then they were all talking about things that didn't bother me.

I looked at the car. The windows where polarized in such a black that it was almost impossible to see trough. But you could still see.

I saw.

I saw movement and I heard someone opening the car door.

The door opened and I saw a leg. Then two. And suddenly there was an entire person standing in front of me. A girl.

She was behind the open door´, like trying to protect herself.

There was something about her. About hair, eyes, face.

The sun showed up from behind the cloud where it had been hidden. The sun beams hit the girls hair, eyes and face. And now I could see the similarly.

I saw a hint of Bella in those big chocolate colored eyes. A bit of Edward in the long chestnut hair with natural highlights, which strangely didn't bother me. Her faced showed one part, that vampire perfection, the other part, the human softness and vulnerability.

I was watching at beauty herself. I was seeing and I was shocked.

"She's… you're grown up" I whispered to myself. While I saw her blush.

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><p><strong>This was chapter 8 and it was also the last chapter from Jake's POV... I know it was short (only three chapters) but I did this as a try round...Did you like it? The chapter I update 2morrow ( or later this afternoon, its 8:22 here in Sweden) will be from Renesmees POV. But if you liked that I wrote from Jake's POV then I'll do more chapters from his POV. But to know if you liked it you <em>must must must <em>review!**

**Thanks to ALL my readers & reviewers and you'll hear from me soon;)**


	9. you're hot

**Heey! Here's chapter 10 of my story! enjoy!**

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><p><em>You<em>_'re hot _

I was looking at this amazing and beautiful person that was in front of me. No, I wasn't looking. I was _staring _wide eyed. Almost immediately did I realized what I was doing and looked down. I felt the heat run through my cheeks and filled them with blood. I hated to blush. I was red cheeked as usual, but when I blushed did I feel like a tomato. Only the thought of him seeing my fire red face made me blush even more.

Why was I so embracing?

I stood quiet for some time. Hoping the blush would vanish. I saw that he was smiling. I smiled back. Automatically. His smile was even more beautiful seeing it live and in front of me, than the picture I'd seen with him. It was very contagious.

Suddenly was it something that made me take a step towards him. Without my permission. What was I doing?

I tried to prevent that second step to be taken. But in vain. I took it. I couldn't stop. It was like something dragged me towards him with such strength and power that I couldn't stop. It was like gravity. He was the sun, I was a little, powerless, weak planet that was dragged to him.

After a third step in his direction did I give up. I let myself be dragged to him. I wouldn't do anything about it. I stopped two feet in front of him.

I looked at him. He was wearing black from head to toe. From close was he much taller than me. Like a giant. His dirty black tee was tight against his chest, sowing every movement that where caused by his breath and I could even se his heart pound. Showing his muscular body. I saw that the edges of his black denim pants where slightly dirty and his shoes to. I looked at my new ballerina flats that Alice had given me. They where also dirty. I was standing in a mud pound. I took some small but quick steps to get out of it.

He chuckled.

My heart freeze. That sound. That minimal sound made my world stop. It was the most beautiful I'd _ever _heard.

Now. This was the time. He had a smile on his face. He was looking at me. Time to fulfill the future.

"Hi, it wasn't yesterday." I said. He looked at me with his big, warm brown eyes.

"And it will never be like that ever again" he replied

Well, this was odd. Well, the future can change, cant it?

I ran the little amount of distance that was between us and jumped into his arms. I felt his embrace, his warmth. The feeling I felt growing in my chest was nothing compared with what I'd felt while seeing Alice's vision. No, this was much bigger and stronger. A wave of happiness washed over me. I didn't know if I wanted to cry or laugh or do both.

I stayed in his arms for a long time. Not caring if it had been hours.

I heard someone hawk and we , almost at the same time, let go of each other. This time I prevented to blush.

Edward right behind us.

"Hey, dad" I said, unable to hide my joy.

No response.

I saw that he -almost invisibly- nodded towards Jake.

" I'm sorry" he said in such a low voice that I wasn't sure if I really had heard it. But I wasn't sure of _why _he'd apologized for. If it was for leaving or for something else. But I, in that moment couldn't bother to care about finding out. I didn't want to mess this beautiful moment with Jake by arguing with Edward.

"You should go inside" he suddenly said trying hard to look at me "your grandpa wants to see you.

I suddenly remembered the other thing we'd come here for. But I didn't feel quite ready to split from Jake. And I didn't want to leave him here, with Edward…

" Do you really think I would do something that would.."

He said calmly before I interrupted him.

_Hurt me? _I thought, guessing the rest of his sentence.

"you've done it before" I said out loud and saw him flinch. "and you where the one who said 'never trust a vampire' "

_And I don't want to risk anything. Not at this point._ I added in my thought while I grabbed Jakes hand and took him with me inside.

I entered the small living room and saw Rose standing against the wall behind the big couch where my mom sat next to an man. He looked paled and tired and his head had more silver stains than I remembered.

_Is that…? _I asked Jake and felt him flinch under my hand.

_Sorry_ I said forgetting how my 'gift' could shock people when they weren't prepared.

I looked at him and saw his eyes filled with understanding. His eyes where probably the most beautiful part of him, after his smile. There was just something special with them.

I saw that he nodded slightly. If it was to answer my question wasn't I sure of. I had forgotten.

I looked at my mom who nodded.

I shyly walked towards the center of the room to the old man that I assumed was my grandpa.

He looked surprised. First at mom, then at me. She nodded in response and he raised up from the old couch.

"Renesmee… you're… wow" he said walking to me.

The same wave of happiness that I'd felt while hugging Jake overwhelmed me once again and I hugged the man who was my grandpa.

"How are you?" I asked him trying very carefully to _not _use my other voice.

"I'm fine, just fine" he said and his voice broke a bit.

I smiled in response.

"It's good to see you again, Renesmee. As pretty as I remember ya' "

An old man in a wheelchair came towards me and I could feel Rosalie straighten up from her relaxed position and alert.

I saw my mom giving her a look to say ' it's ok' but she didn't relax completely.

"This is Billy Black" Jacob said making me jump up a bit "My dad"

"Nice to meet you sir" I said and reached out my hand. The man's hand was big, cold and hard, nothing like Jake's, soft and warm.

I grabbed Jakes hand with the same that I'd grabbed his dad's with and felt the difference immediately.

"You're hot!" I exclaimed, almost screaming.

"What?" I heard my dad said. He'd now entered the house

The atmosphere froze without me knowing why. I analyzed the words I just said and founded the error.

"Oh, no! I mean… hot as in warm!" I said trying to explain myself but more than half of the room where already laughing at it. The only ones who didn't where Edward and Rosalie.

" It's okay" Jake said calmly. "I actually get that a lot".

He's smile came to me as a shoot of electricity and I couldn't do anything but smile to. To smile to this beautiful person. That I , without saying it out loud, though was hot on a physical way to.

This was the most 'right' feeling I've felt in a long time.


	10. Restart

**First of all... SOOOO SOOORRRYYYYY FOR MY LONG UPDATE ABCENSE! I had so much 2 do and then my computer started 2 mess up so I haven't been able to either write or update. once again sorry! I'll try to redeem myself but i must warn that the updates wont be many this couples of days, the computer isn't quite free from trouble.**

**I also wanted to say that _this _is chapter 10 of the story... I had written that it ws chapter 10 in the other chapter, just claryfing...**

**Enjoy, comment and rate!**

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><p><em>Re-start<em>

We sat for a long time talking. Well, mostly grandpa Charlie, Jake, mom and I. the rest, Edward, Rosalie and Billy were just quiet. Sometimes looking at us, sometimes at us. Their eyes always filled with tension. I didn't need uncle Jazz's power to feel that. I just did. As I knew that mom and Jake did. The only unaware person was my grandpa that was talking. A lot. But even though he did talk and much, did I see the similarly between he and mom. They didn't like to talk to each other and looking comfortable about it. It looked a bit forced. I knew that if grandpa also was a vampire- which we all glad he wasn't- mom wouldn't have struggled. But knowing that he was human and that he knew there was _something _that wasn't exactly as before, did she look a bit tense.

But I talked like I hadn't done it for years. I was fascinated by all the stories that Jake told me. And I told him of the stories I remembered. We laughed a lot and I really enjoyed every single minute I was with him. The bubble of happiness grew bigger and bigger for the more time we spend together. I was thrilled and excited.

"Bella, I think we have to go. Esme is probably waiting." my dad said and as he did, both mom and I looked at our watches. We'd been here for more than five hours. But it hadn't felt like that. It couldn't be possible. It was to short time. I had _years _to recollect. Five little hours couldn't help me regain that. I felt a bit of panic creep up.

"No, but we just…"

"Your dad is right, sweetheart" Rosalie said, with both relief and an after tone of 'let's go now'.

" Now that was a first" I mumbled.

_She _never _agrees with him. What's wrong with her? _I told Jake.

A little giggle escaped his smiling lips but he covered with a caught.

"Bless you" I said but thought over my reply.

_Wait, that wasn't…_

We both started to laugh at our - literally - internal joke.

"You must be tired, Ness. You're laughing at nothing" Rose said, once again, trying to take us out of there as fast as possible.

"Well, it's pretty late and you have to slee…"

_Mom! _I said when I - involuntary- let Jakes hand to instantly grab mom's.

"Listen to your mom, Renesmee…" grandpa suddenly said. "It is late" I looked at him, than at mom, then at uncle Rose's relived face, at Edward's poker face. Then at Jake's face that screamed 'don't go'. but I knew I had to. I though over asking Edward to let me stay over here at grandpa's so that Jake and I could talk and spend more time together. He owed me that.

"No" my dad answered me with a strong voice. "Not that"

I looked at him, trying to look angry. Our gaze met but he had won. I surrendered.

I turned to Jake.

"Promise me that you'll come tomorrow to see me." I said. It sounded childish, but it wasn't for me. This was a promise that he _had _to keep.

"I promise" he said. Signing it with a relaxed and natural smile that of course made me smile.

"I'll start the car." dad said "Thank you for everything, Charlie."

He said looking at grandpa ho nodded in response. That was enough for him and he went to start the car, with Rosalie following. Mom raised and hugged Charlie and then went to Billy, then Jake. I followed the same order.

I hugged Jake fore some extra long seconds. He was so tall comparing to me. But I managed to pull him down and to step on my toes to reach for his ear.

"Bye, Jake. _My _Jake" I said.

"Bye, Nessie. _My _Nessie" he said with a smile in his voice.

I turned my head and kissed his, soft and warm cheek.

A flash of electricity flew though me, more powerful than the happiness wave, and almost made me jump. A desire of remain like this, remain in his arms, overcame me. I did now more than before want to be with him. I almost had to pull my hands from his neck to let go. His neck was the _only _part of him which my arms could completely embrace him.

I left the house and entered the car that without Jake felt like being in a freezer. I shuddered and mom gave me her blazer. I saw Jake waving goodbye and I waved back, even though I knew he couldn't see me.

Dad pulled the car out of the driveway and Rose opened the car window.

"Ahh" she sighed "_Finally _some fresh air!"

"Auntie, close the window! I'm freezing!"

"Not until the dog smell ends. No one will let you enter if you smell like _that"_

Her words stung me.

"Like what? Jake? You think he smells like a dog? I think he smells… I don't know… but not like dog anyway!"

"You might not feel it, but I do"

"Then why didn't you just stay if you knew how he would smell?"

I felt her freeze and I bend over and pulled up the automatically window.

The sound of the window shutting was the only thing that sounded after that.

"Hey, freshman!" Jasper greeted me as we entered. I didn't say anything. I just smiled. I smiled at everything. I was a smile myself. Except the silently trip to our new house, that had been silent even after I apologized to Rose, was everything amazingly beautiful at the moment. Except that little ache in my arms. And ache after Jake.

"Well, no freshman longer" Alice said coming down the stairs to the entrance "Soon will Ness have an growing spurt and she'll be able to be a junior"

We all just looked at her.

"A… junior?" I Said

"Jupp" Alice said " And you knows what that means…"

"Shopping trip!" we said together. I ran to her and she immediately started to talk about clothes and so did I. I was going to bee a junior, I was becoming older. I would grew. I imagined myself some many inches longer. And in high school.

"Rosalie, I have this great idea of…" Alice said running like lightning up to tell Rosalie about the news.

I started to look around the big house where I've never been before. Our old house that I didn't remember.

I was amazed by it. It was and felt very vampire-ish, I liked it. Even if it was ten times bigger than the other house, and the color pallet went in white. Blanc and silber with modern architecture instead of mahogany, timber in an old forest house, did it remind me a lot of the other house. Big spaces, clean lines, panorama windows, big stair case and a lovely kitchen. But here was there something that we didn't have in the other house. It was standing on an elevation, like a stage, before the living room. This surprised me.

"Who Plays the piano?" I asked looking at mom.

"Your dad used to" grandma replied from behind me. "He hasn't done it for years" she said now looking at him.

"Why?" I said to him looking surprised.

He just looked at me.

"Ah, come _on! _seriously? Have you even hide _that _from me? What kind of father are you?" I gasped, exaggerating.

He smiled and went to the piano. He sat down on the chair in front and just looked at the big, majestic instrument. I went to join him.

_Oh, so it plays itself ? _I thought. He's shoulders moved lightly, like if he was laughing.

His fingers started to dance along the keys and made a magical sound. My dads fingers looked like an ice-skater on ice. Calm, soft and completely aware of what they were doing.

The melody was calm and soft. They where connecting on an surreal way. I closed my eyes and felt the melody. I felt the beauty of the high tones, and the depth of the lower. Together they connected in such way that made my fast beating heart slow down its tempo. I suddenly realized that it sounded like a lullaby.

"It is" my dad responded to my thought. "It's a lullaby. Your lullaby"

I freeze with a breath in my nose. My dad kept playing my lullaby and I felt tears roll down my cheek. I suddenly felt the love that I once felt he had felt for me. Well, the love that I _thought _he didn't have. The one that he had assumed he had when taking me away from Jake, the one I didn't believe in. It was still there, in that lullaby, in that beautiful melody that was created by my dad. It was there.

"it has always been there" he said now looking at me while the melody kept playing "And it always will"

"I'm so sorry" I said in a sob "Sorry for not believing in you, for not trust you" I took a breath "I love you dad"

The melody slide to a slow end and the last key was touched. I let myself into my dad's embrace. He's soft, welcoming embrace. My tears kept rolling and I didn't let go of him for long time. His lips kissed the crown of my head and I let his slow and even breaths cradle me to sleep.

I woke up in a bright room. I hide my eyes under my arms. I reacted at my to short pj sleeve. It fitted perfectly yesterday, what had happened? I rose up and heard fabric been ripped of. The thigh of my pant had ripped. I looked at the legs. They where 4 inches to short. I felt dizzy. When my head had stopped to spin did I see where I where. I was in a big spacey room with bright curtains. The walls where painted bright pink and had a flower pattern following the walls. I felt disoriented and left the room. I came to a hallway. It had two doors besides me and another one in front. A big window covered the entire wall on the right side of the hallway. I walked to the left side. The walls were filled with photos of me, my dad and mom. I rounded the corner and came to the living room. Now I was sure that I weren't in the same house that I had fallen asleep in.

"Ness!" mom called at me, she was sitting in the kitchen. I hadn't seen her because it was in another room. She had heard me.

"Good morning swee…" mom stopped in the middle of the sentence. Both mom and dad where looking at me. And I knew what they where looking at.

"Auntie Alice should have a better eye on the dates to her predictions" I said and took a seat. I heard more fabric rip.

When I had got new clothes we left to the main house again. I had now found out that we had an own house here and that uncle Em and Rose where looking for one of there own.

"Finally our own privacy" Emmet said giving Rosalie an intense kiss.

"Oh C'mon!" my dad said looking disgusted. I followed the stream and put my fingers in my mouth and pretended to make myself through up.

Emmett grinned at me and kissed Rosalie even more intense.

"oh, God! I'm out of here. I've been traumatized for life" I said leaving my parents in the couch and pulling my tongue out to Emmet.

I sat on the porch looking out to the forest. It was starting to become greener now, it was April after all.

I heard an engine, an old one, approach. I stood up to see who it was.

An old car showed up and I immediately recognized the person in the car.

"Jake!" I screamed and ran in less than a second towards him. He met me with his hands open and gave me a hug. I know reached his neck without any problem.

"You're taller" he said surprised

"Yup, I woke up this morning and my PJ's where all to small for me." I said pround.

"But still aren't taller than me" he said patting my head.

"it's okay. I like it this way" I said and hugged him once again.

"Me too. Eh… are you into something right now?" he asked looking at the house and so did I. my dad was standing by the window.

I let go of Jake.

_Please _I said to my dad in my thoughts.

He sighed and nodded once.

"No… lets go!" I took his hands in mine again and went with him to the car.

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><p><strong>What did you think? DON'T HESITATE ON COMENT!<strong>

**Have a continued blessed day!**


	11. Play time

**Hope you enjoy! **

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><p><em>Play time<em>

As son as we left the drive way was I filled with excitement. I suddenly remembered something.

"Where are we going?" I asked Jake. His beautiful face looked at me with his amazing eyes. They were all covered with mystery.

"Fine, if you don't want to tell me, then don't" I said and looked out through the window. I was seeing if I could make him tell me if he thought I was mad or something.

I felt his eyes on me, felt how they examined me.

"Nu-huh, not with me Renesmee" I looked at him with big eyes.

"Fine" I said turning my body to him once again and smiling lightly.

He smiled to.

"Do this thing work?" I asked looking at the old radio. My grandpa Charlie had one of those in the living room, I had seen it yesterday.

"Eh… try" he said looking at me, the radio and the road.

I started to play around with the little buttons but couldn't get any signal. I hit the radio, not hard so it would broke, but pretty hard.

A high pith sound came out of the speakers. It was horrible. But after two seconds could I hear the melody of a song. I looked surprised at Jake.

"Hey, you did it!" he exclaimed.

"Yeah!" I said

He lifted his hand up for a high-five and I responded. What I didn't do was remove my hand from his. Not just because he had put them down between us immediately when he had grabbed mine, but mostly because I wanted my hand to remain with his.

"We're here" he said as he pulled in to the self-made driveway.

I didn't exactly know where 'here' was so I just waited for a more deeper explanations.

"This is were I live" he said looking at me, the engine still going.

"oh" I looked around. There were small, red houses and a lot of green spaces. "it's… pretty" I said not knowing if that was the response he wanted.

"It's okay. Not like your luxury mansion" he said smiling.

I was filled with an indescribable feeling. I couldn't put the finger on what it was, but I was sure that it had something to do with Jake's smile.

"Why did you bring me here?"

"Because I wanted to show you my place. And…" he paused

"And, what?"

"And because Seth, Embry and Paul really wanted to meet you" he said smiling again. But his face also hinted some embarrassment.

"Eh… don't get mad but, eh… they've bet…"

I looked confused.

"Bet on what?"

"On your length, age and stuff…" he blushed a bit while saying it.

I couldn't help but giggle. Both to his blush and to his friends.

"It will be fun top see what they've come up to"

"You aren't mad?" "No, why would I? I think it's fun." and I really thought it was.

"Okay then" he once again threw a big, blending smile at me.

"Let's meet the pack" I said while going out.

"What did you say?" he looked horrified at me. His eyes wide open.

"Let's meet the pack" I repeated, making sure I hadn't said anything inappropriate. "The wolf-pack?"

"How did you…?"

"I had … a dream. A kind of flashback. It only happened once. And… my mom told me before coming."

He looked more relaxed but I could still feel that he wasn't completely calm.

"Jake, it's okay. Really. I mean… I'm a human vampire, that werewolves exist isn't completely impossible" I smiled at him, really trying to make him see that I was okay with that.

He looked at me and took a deep breath.

"Okay" he said " Let's meet the pack"

He turned the engine of and went out. I opened my door and stepped out and landed right in a mud pool.

"Ugh!" I exclaimed "Alice will kill me!" I said looking at my dirty designer shoes.

"Some mud on the shoes isn't a big deal" Jake said rounding the car.

"It's a big deal for Alice." I said and grabbed his arms while I walked out of the mud. When I was standing in the grass my hand slid from his arms to his hand. Automatically. And it felt good.

"Where are they?" I asked Looking at Jake.

"They're in my place" he said and led me to a small house with a ramp before the door. I could guess that was their house.

When we came closer to the porch I saw the little door and big Jake.

"I bet anything you want to that you don't go through that door without ducking"

"Deal" he said with a grin.

I don't know how, but he entered the house without any problem.

_Oh, crap! _I said to him.

"Do you pay up whenever I want?" he asked.

"Sure"

He smiled.

"We're here" He screamed. I instantly hide behind him.

_Let's see if they guessed right _I told Jake who just nodded in response.

"Where is she?" I heard someone say. We were still hidden from their sight so they didn't see me.

Nuh-hu. First you tell me what you bet" Jake said playful to the three guys in the living room.

"Well" did one of them begin "I said around 11 years old and is under your chest in length "

"I say 12, same height" another one answered.

"13 and a bit taller than to your chest" a younger voice said.

"You're so wrong" Jake said and we went to them.

"Holy, cra…" said the voice who had talked first.

"She's actually 17 and a head shorter than me" Jake said looking at me. I looked back and them I looked at the other guys. But they weren't alone. There was two other girls and another man, besides Billy, that was a bit taller than the rest, including Jake. Which I didn't thought was possible.

"And you're _seven_?" the youngest of them exclaimed. I nodded.

"I turn eight this year"

"And how will you celebrated?" the second guy said "a party with princess theme?" he laughed .

So he wanted to play.

"No, I was thinking more of a circus theme. You would be a perfect clown" I said.

The roomed was filled with laughter and I felt how Jake laughed next to me.

"Okay, you got me" the guy said walking to me "I'm Paul" he held out his hand and I took it.

"Renesmee" I said.

"I know" he grinned

_Of course you did_

He flew back and looked surprised.

"Dude! What the hell?"

I laughed at his expression and I felt Jake laugh to.

"I might as well introduce you to the rest" Jake said looking at me.

"That one is Embry" he said and the guy named Embry saluted me. "Seth, he's the youngest we have" he said and Seth, who didn't look much older than me, waved.

"And I'll always will be the youngest" he said.

"Eh… you know my dad" Jake kept on "And the girl next to him is my sister Rachel. Paul's girl" he said the last with a sigh.

"Nice too meet you, Renesmee" Rachel said and walked to me and gave me a hug.

"Nice too meet you too" I answered polite.

"I'm Emily, Sam's fiancée" the woman that was next to Rachel said.

"Oh, Congratulations" I said, fiancée meant 'about to marry' which needed a congratulation.

"Thank you" Emily replied. I looked at the tall man next to her.

"I guess you must be Sam, then."

He nodded.

"Are they all?" I asked looking at Jake.

"No, but the house would explode if we all were in here" he said. And I saw his point. All the men, except Billy, where about 6" or more. Well, maybe not Seth, but it wasn't long before he was there too. But they were also very muscular, like Jake. But Jake was in my opinion the most beautiful of them all.

"Well" Sam suddenly said with a very strong voice " we'll have to get going. Seth, you Paul, Embry and Quill will take the first round?" He said looking at the guys. They all nodded and went out.

"Will we see you again?" Seth asked me before he left.

"Uhm… Yeah, I think so" I said, not sure if my dad would let me go out with Jake any other time.

"Okay, then. Say hi to you're parents and to Carlisle and Esme from me"

"Sure" I said and he was gone.

"Well, I think we should get going to" Rachel said "They'll probably want food when they come back"

"you're right" Emily replied.

"Bye Jake, bye Renesmee" Rachel said giving us a hug each when she left. "Don't forget to take your medications dad" she said looking at Billy who just mumbled something in response. Emily and Sam went out without saying anything. Emily just waved lightly to me and Sam nodded towards Jake. He responded the same way.

When they had left the house did Jake turn to me still with my hand in his.

"That was it" he said smiling lightly. "What did you think?"

I thought over our short meeting.

"Interesting" I said shortly.

"I'm going over to Sue's and see if there's any food" Billy said and left us alone.

We stood there quiet for a long time. Just looking at each other. I looked at his face and memorized every single line of it. I wanted to remember him as I saw him now. I looked at his eyes, examined his features. Felt the warmth of his hand to mine. The slow and even breath takes. His beating heart. I was memorizing that because I knew that I would have to be without those things during the night, which already filled me with pain. It was unbelievable how I now couldn't live without someone I until some days ago didn't knew existed.

And then it hit me. Something I had planned to do the very first day I met him, but completely had forgotten about. Something that _had _to be done, some thing that _had _to be clarified.

But when I was about to open my mouth did Jake speak.

"C'mon, let's go" he said taking me through the living room into a little corner where there was a door. We went in and I saw the bed under the window.

_You're room?_ I asked

"Yes" he said as he led me to the bed.

We sat down and kept quiet.

This was it. It was now or never. And as sooner we got over with it, the better it would be and the more I would enjoy him.

"Jacob" I said, using his real name so that he would see how serious I was. "We need to talk."

He nodded. He knew what I was talking about.

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><p><strong>Don't forget to comment;)<strong>


	12. Desires

**Chapter 12 of the story... some surprises in it... tell me if you like it;)**

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><p><em>Desires<em>

"I…" I didn't know how to start. How _should _I start? What should I say? I'm sorry? I'm _so _sorry? And how could I apologize for something I didn't knew about? I tried again. "Jake… I…."

"Shhhh, don't say anything" he looked me deep in the eyes. His hands hold mine and his breath was even. "you don't have to say or explain _anything. _I bet you don't even know what you're apologizing for, right?"

I didn't answer, just looked at him. Looked at the person that I my absence had cause so much pain. Someone who didn't deserve it.

"But… you didn't deserve it" I began " you didn't deserve what we did, Jake."

"Nessie, you don't have to feel guilty"

"But I do. And I am. I'm as guilty as everyone. I'm as guilty as my dad, mom, grandparents… I could've done more"

"Yeah but you didn't knew…"

"I had a hint…"

It slipped out. I wasn't planning on saying that. But in the moment I said it did I realize it was true. I _had _know what was going to happen. How my mind reacted to the separation, how I couldn't sleep, the nightmares. Of course I knew we weren't coming back. I had just realized. My body had prepared itself for something painful.

Jake looked at me with big eyes, waiting for me to explain.

I told him everything I just said once again. His hand squeezed mine more for every word I said.

"You suffered too" he said after I had explained.

"Not as long as you have" and it was true, I hadn't suffered at all. "I don't remember the suffering… well… except these last days. But it wasn't suffering. It was joy and desire. Desire to see you again, my Jacob." I looked at him. He was suffering thinking of _me _suffering. He must be the most good-hearted person I know.

"Well, I know that it's not your fault. It's…" Jacob stopped but I knew who he would say.

_Edward's_

"Do you know why…?"

_No, he don't want to tell me. And I don't think he ever will._

We both sighed.

"But, I'm glad he didn't. if he had then maybe you wouldn't be here with me" he had come closer to me.

My heart started to beat faster and uneven. I took a deep breath.

"What is it?" he asked. He had seen the change.

"I don't know. It's you… you make me… nervous" I said feeling a blush creep up. I looked away. I didn't want him to see me blush. As embarrassing as I was.

"_I_ make _you _nervous" he chuckled "Don't you know what _you _do to _me?" _

I turned my head to him again. What did he mean 'what _you _do to _me_'? did he also became nervous and…

"You don't know that?" he said looking at me with surprise in his eyes and voice.

"Something I should know?" I asked.

He looked away.

_I can't tell her! _

I let my hand go of him like if just putt my hand on a iron. I flew back.

"What can't you tell me, Jake?" I looked at him and couldn't imagine how I looked.

"How did you…? Are you also a mind…?"

"No… I just… hear things people are hiding from me or secrets no one want to reveal. I'm like a lie detector."

"But… you weren't like that" Jake seemed as freaked out as my dad had looked when he found out.

"No. We just founded out."

He looked wondering at me.

"So tell me, what can't you tell me?"

He looked away.

"Jacob, I can find out just by touching you. But I don't want to do that because I want you to tell me. I want you to trust me"

He was looking at the floor, his hands together like if he was praying. I took both of them in mine but he didn't move his eyes from the floor.

"It's something that has to do with you… and me… and my feelings" he started.

"It all happened the first day I meet you"

_Yesterday?_

" No. the _very first _time I met you. When you where newborn."

I gasped quietly.

_You where there?_

"Yes." Pause. "Do you believe in love at first sight?" he turned to me. His eyes looking for some kind of reaction from me.

I thought over what he just said. Analyzed word by word. Looked for the meaning in them. When I got it, I was paralyzed.

_What?_ was the only thing I could say. The only word I remembered.

"When you were born… I wanted to kill you."

He looked away, his face and eyes filled with guilt and remorse. "I wanted to kill you, because I was in love with Bella"

_You… in love… with mom?_

He nodded.

" I was there during her pregnancy and I could see the damage that it was causing her. And when you were born… she almost died. If Edward hadn't poisoned her…"

_She would be dead _I said finishing his sentence. I thought of mom. Laying on a bed, bleeding. I saw myself, taking her life.

I felt Jake react under my hands.

"No, Nessie… it wasn't _you… _your mom really wanted to have you, she even drank human blood for you. She knew what was going to happen" he stopped and slightly caressed my hand. "But I didn't understand that. I was furious about that she wanted a baby instead of her own life. I couldn't understand. So I went out while she gave birth to you, and my hate grew. I didn't see you until I was over and Bella was changed, but I didn't see that either. And I… I went to look for you. To kill you. But when I saw you…"

He looked at me. And I nodded to tell him that I understood. I understood what had happened to him. Why he hated me in that particular moment. What happened when he saw me.

"Since that day… I was never far away from you. I practically _lived _there. Until…"

_We left_ I said

"Yeah"

He sat quiet some minutes. I needed to take everything in.

_So, love at first sight?_

"Yeah, it's a… wolf thing… it's called _imprinting_" he said looking at me

_Does that… happen to everyone?_

"Yeah, kind of. Sam and Emily. Paul and… my sister" he shook his head.

_What about that?_

"Paul is a real pain in the as. I feel sorry for Rache."

_What, she can't choose if she want's_ _to be with him?_

"Yeah, but Paul can't live without her. We can't live without our imprints. It's like suicide"

_Oh my God! _I gasped in my thoughts. And out loud to. _Jake, why didn't you say anything?_

"Because I thought you knew"

_No I didn't… did anyone else know?_

"Yes. Everyone"

He didn't have to specify who 'everyone' was. I felt furious.

"Hey, Ness it's ok"

_No it's not okay, Jake. How could he? Doesn't he have a heart. He knew! He _freaking _knew!_

"Hey, calm down! Okay, I don't want you to go home now and freak out. Calm down."

I took a deep breath and counted to ten. I repeated that for like ten times.

"That's my girl" he said when he saw that I had calm down. He putted his hand on my cheek.

The touch burned on my cheek. Electricity came over me and I instantly felt the desire to do something I never had thought of. I fought against it as much as possible. Jake saw my struggle.

"What is it?"

I took a deep breath before answering him.

"This imprint thing… is it contagious?" it was a childish question but that would be the only reasonable answer to what I was feeling.

Jake laughed slightly "What?"

I nodded.

"Eh… I don't know. Why?"

I took another deep breath. I had to tell him.

"Because… right now… I'm fighting against the desire to kiss you" There. I said it. "And I honestly don't know if _want _to fight back."

Jake looked at me, his hand still on my cheek. He looked into my eyes, I looked into his. His eyes, the most beautiful thing I ever seen. They where looking at me with confusion. I saw that he had a fight of his own.

I was filled with a feeling that took over the control of my body. It made my hand find his arm, it told my body to get closer to him. And it did. I stopped before I could do anything else. And the feeling took over my words.

"I've never said this before. I've never _felt _it before. But… I love you, Jacob. I love _you. _I've _never _thought of anyone. I've never wanted to kiss anyone. But right now… I _really _want to kiss _you_" I closed my mouth, afraid of saying anything else.

"Ness…" he looked for something that could stop him. A movement that could prevent him from getting closer. But he didn't find it. And he would never find it. My body and brain had erased any type barrier.

I felt his hand sliding down my cheek to the back of my neck, leaving burning traces after it. I felt his breathings becoming deeper and heavier, just like mine. I felt my body react to his touch and I moved closer. Our legs met. The hand I had have in his took his hand and brought it to my thigh. Leaving another burning trace. I bended forward and so did he. My free hand founded his face and led it to my face while the hand on my neck pulled me towards his face.

Our lips met in a slight touch. I took a breath and felt his smell. His beautiful and own smell. His head moved back some millimeters, but I didn't want it to. I let go of his hand that was on my thigh and putted it on his face. Together with the hand that already was there did I pull he towards me. My lips found his and they reacted to my intense touch. He reacted to my kiss by pulling my neck towards him. He slightly opened his mouth. I took a deep breath so that I wouldn't faint, which I felt I would do at any minute.

_Help me _I told him.

His mouth started to move in soft movements and my lips followed. The movements became more intense for every second. Something I was totally okay with. The hand that was on my neck slide down my back and the hand on my thigh grabbed it harder and pulled it up while caressing it in soft touches. The fire that his touch left was over my entire body. Overwhelming me. My hands went down his face to his chest. They grabbed his shirt and pulled him closer while he pushed my back and brought my thigh closer to him. I was half sitting on his lap, our lips still moving. I pulled his shirt once again and heard how some seems where ripped.

_Sorry _I said while my lips kept moving with his.

_It's okay _he said in a slight gasp.

I freeze in the middle of a very complicated movement.

"I heard you" I said breathing heavy and pulled my head away from his.

"Heard what?" he said looking up.

"I heard when you said 'it's okay'."

He looked at me then kissed me again

_You heard my voice, princess? _he said with a playful but serious voice. I moved my head back and nodded. I was touching him so I could talk to him without speaking.

_Yes. It seems like I can hear you talk like when you hear me… when you kiss me._

"_only _when you kiss me?" he said out loud.

_I don't know._

He moved his head to mine so our foreheads met. We both where breathing heavy.

_I loved you _I heard his voice in my head.

"Did you hear that?" he asked looking at me.

_Loud and clearly _I said smiling.

He smiled to and his lips found mine once again.

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><p><strong>Was it good or bad? COMMENT!<strong>


	13. Confessions

**Heeey! Wanted 2 whish you an happy easter and to enjoy, comment, rate and review my story! **

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><p><em>Confession<em>

We were lying on the bed. My head relied on Jakes chest, flowing with his breaths. One of his hands caressed my head while the other one was around my waist, his hand holding mine.

_I could stay like this forever _he said, his voice sounded even more beautiful inside my head.

_Me too. _I sighed and squeezed his hand lightly.

After a while did my pocket vibrate. I took up my cell phone and saw the text.

_Where are you? We'll have dinner in 30 min, come or Edward will freak out/ Mom_

I rolled my eyes and putted the cell phone back into the pocket.

"Seems like forever is over" Jake said and moved his hand from my head. I sat up and sighed loudly.

"it seems so"

Jacob was now sitting behind me, his arms wrapped around me. I felt his warmth and his scent. His own, special scent that filled my lungs and hung in the air of his bedroom.

"I whish eternity was longer" I whispered.

_it is how long we make it _he thought.

_But as far as I know, eternity hasn't a curfew _

He laughed. And rose up.

"You're right. Seven year old girls aren't supposed to be this far away from home, this late." his grin was irresistible.

"Well, you didn't think of my age 30 minutes ago, did you?" I said also standing on my feet, looking at him, wrapping my arms around his neck.

"I still don't" he said pulling me in and kissing me softly. _Let's go_ he said and dragged me out of the room.

The engine start and a happy song played in the background. I smiled to myself, almost exploding of happiness inside.

"Can you tell me were the treaty line goes?" I asked Jake trying to hide the reason to why I asked.

"It goes by that sign" he said looking at a yellow sign that was on a tree.

"Can you pull over here?" I asked and he did.

"Why?"

I took the seatbelt of and looked at him.

"We have to be careful when we come home. For Edward am I still seven. If he founds out the we kissed and _how _we kiss, he'll probably rip the head of you. And if he does that then _I'll _kill him and we'll all end up hating each other."

He nodded in comprehension. The desire of kissing him came through me again, but I didn't know if I dared to kiss him here.

"Don't think" I told him and rose from my seat and kissed him. He was shocked at first, but that disappeared. I found his neck and kept kissing him. I wouldn't have stop if it wasn't for the hand break that was hurting my ribs. I let go of him and went back to my seat.

"And that was for…?" he asked

"The rest of my miserable day" I said and the car started to go.

We came to the driveway and I gave Jake a warning look. He nodded and smiled in comprehension. I went out first.

"I'm home!" I screamed. Alice was first out.

"Renesmee Cullen! Your shoes! Go up right now and change!" she exclaimed. I grabbed Jakes hand when he was next to me.

_Told you it was a big deal _I said, feeling his smile.

Alice was stepping impatiently with her foot on the ground and her arms crossed over her chest.

"You can't just walk around looking like that!" she said

"I'm sorry! But I don't have any other clothes remember?"

"Yeah, you have. We where supposed to shop together today _remember?_ But you dumped me" she said and sounded like a child. I felt guilty. Jasper wasn't around so I guessed I really was feeling guilty.

"Sorry auntie" I said and went to her and gave her a kiss on her cheek.

"It's okay" she said smiling " but you really have to change, and shower"

"Yes ma'am" I said and ran up but immediately went back.

"Where am I supposed to…"

"First door to the left" she said blinking to me.

It was Alice and Jasper's room, with no doubt. The big wardrobe and the clean room just screamed Alice. I went to the bathroom and showered in the speed of light, drying and fixing my hair with the same speed.

I putted on the outfit that was waiting for me on the bed. A pretty flower patterned tank top, some tight, brown pair of Capri's, some fabric sneakers and a cream colored cardigan. I went to Alice's mirror and took some of her make up and stole some drops of an expensive perfume. I had let my hair out, it was pretty long, under my chest. I needed to cut it.

I remembered that my Jake was down stairs with my vampire family and I ran back down. Jake was still standing where I left him. Everything was as I left it, except that mom, Edward and Rosalie where there too.

"Hey!" I said to them hugging everyone, even Edward who I didn't want to even remember right now, but I had to act normal. And before I had left, we were okay.

"Hi, sweetheart." mom said "How has your day been?" she asked totally normal.

"Great" I answered trying to_ not _reveal the real reason to what made it great "though I'm _starving_!" I said. And it was true. I hadn't eaten science breakfast.

"What, they didn't offer you to eat?" Rosalie said.

"Well eating didn't come to my mind when I was there" I said.

"What did you do all day then? Was your mouth busy with talking?" she asked with a tone she had never used towards me. Almost poisonous. But when I analyzed what she said did I remember that _talking _was the _least _my mouth had been doing. I immediately focused, trying my hardest not to revel myself. But a giggle slipped through my mouth. I looked at Jacob, who looked at Edward, who looked at me.

I gave Jake a look that screamed "don't think!". But he knew what I had though of and he started to laugh to. In less then a second did I lift my hand to my mouth to not laugh again, but it was to late. We burst out laughing. God, if I can't hold myself in ten minutes, will I be able to hold me for the rest of the night?

"What are you laughing at?" Rose asked annoyed. I just shook my head, still laughing. I turned to Jake and saw that he also was laughing. I glazed at Edward who was looking at Jake and me, he didn't seem to notice anything, but we couldn't risk anything either. I turned serious and so did Jake, coughing and crossing his arms in front of his chest.

"Why's your shirt ripped?"

I froze at Rose's statement. Looking at Jake, he froze too. I felt how my stomach flipped inside out. I tried not to look at Edward, he might hadn't seen our reaction. Might.

"Sorry if I don't look worthy enough to be in your presence, your highness" Jake said trying to joke it away. And I was praying that it would work. Rose gave him an angry look.

I looked at Jake once again and saw that the shoulder of his black t-shirt was almost completely ripped of. I could see his well built arms and his perfect and soft copper skin…

I collected myself and looked at Edward that still didn't seemed to get that something was wrong- or maybe I had misjudge his lying abilities.

"I.. think I should get going" Jake suddenly said.

"You don't want to stay to dinner?" my mom asked Jake. I didn't know if she was being polite or if she knew. I suddenly felt like she had been part of everything, and I got intimidated.

"Eh… no, but thanks. Good night" he said and turned to the door.

"I'll walk you out" I said and followed him.

He waited for me and we went out.

I grabbed his hand an ran with him to the car. I leaned forward and hugged him.

"I'm going to tell them today at dinner" I whispered to him as quietly I could.

"Are you sure?" he whispered even more quietly than me.

"Yeah. I think mom knows something, and it won't take long before he does to, so it's better if I say it."

"okay"

We stood quiet a while in each others arms.

"I love you" his whisper just a vibration of air to my ear, a vibration that gave me goose bumps.

"I love you too" I answered him " and no matter how it goes… I'll meet you tomorrow at the treaty line at 1 o'clock"

I felt how he nodded. I let go of him, even if every fiber of my body protested against our separation.

He entered his car and drove away.

I walked to the porch and my parents came out.

"We're eating dinner at home" Edward said grabbing mom's hand. Still unaware.

I nodded and we started to run home.

"Dad, this was delicious!" I said. Not lying. My dad cooked well for not eating.

"I'm glad you liked it" he said. Smiling.

I suddenly felt my conscience picking on me. I had to tell them everything. Now.

"I… need to talk to you guys" I said putting the napkin on the table. They where looking at me. I tried not to think of what I was going to say so that Edward wouldn't know.

"Today… Jake and I… discovered things" I took a pause to breathe. "He told me that he loved me. That he _always _has. And always will." No reactions. "I found out that I feel the same way towards him. And that I love him to. And… _I'll _go out with him"

Awkward silence.

"I knew it was going to happen…" dad mumbled angrily

"What did he tell you?" mom asked.

I was preparing for replying.

"_Everything?" _my dad exclaimed.

"Well, yeah I mean…"

"Oh, God…" my dad said.

"Hey, if you're worried about that I'm going to freak out because we left Forks and yada, yada, I won't" He looked at me like he didn't get it. "About _you _and _everyone _knowing about the imprinting and how it would hurt him" he flinched, so he got it. "And now… I'm going to redeem all harm we made him"

I saw my Edward's eyes explode with rage and fury.

"Oh, so you're going to redeem the harm? Is that what he wants? To get some kind of consolation prize? And what's that going to be? You?" he had flew of the chair and was standing in front of me. I just looked at him. My mind slipped to the afternoon.

"Oh my God!" he screamed.

"It's not what you…"

"Not what I think? What do you _expect _me to think, Renesmee?" "It was just a kiss"

"It didn't seem like that from this view. It was more… no a _lot _complicated than that! What a nice consolation prize you gave him… I should've known when you guys entered…"

I was shocked. Did he though that I could do something like that? My own dad didn't trust me. He had always.

I showed him every single memory of the afternoon. The kiss. How he held my hand in his, our foreheads meeting. How he told me he loved me, over and over again. How we where laying in his bed, hugging each other, enjoying the moment. I showed him everything. I only excluded our new found communication abilities.

I looked at his shocked face.

"Thanks for trusting me, _dad_. Really" I sad and went to my room.

I didn't care about putting my pajamas on I just dived into the bed and cried for my dad's mistrust. And at the same time I cried my longing after Jake.

_Renesmee, open the door._ he said calmly but despaired. _I'm sorry, I should've trusted you more. I just… I don't know what happened. You're my little girl. It has all went to fast. I should've learned not to lie or hurt you but it seems like I never will. _he paused for about ten minutes. _Baby, I _promise _you, that if you open the door and forgive me, I'll accept _anything_. I'll let you go out with Jacob, I'll let you marry him right now if that's what you want… please._

I felt the pain hit my chest. Stupid conscience!

I rose up and opened the door. He was standing there, his faced torn with pain. I gave him a big hug and cried into his shirt.

"I love you" he said, his mouth buried in my head giving me kisses.

_I love you too._

"Go to sleep now" he said and followed me to the room.

I laid down and he tucked me in. Like he used to. He laid down next to me. Holding me tight while humming my lullaby into my ear.

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><p><strong>Did you like it? if you did PLEASE COMENT! I've a lot of hits but verry few coments so PLEASE! Reviews always makes my day... And to you who have reviewed...Love you guys!<strong>


	14. Freedom

**I give u ch 14 to enjoy adn comment!**

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><p><em>Freedom<em>

I woke up to the sun and with a smile on my face. I went through the memories of yesterday and smiled even more. Life was perfect right now. I was getting along with my dad again and most of all, I was with Jake. I felt a 'right' feeling spreading through my body.

I stretched out in the bed and some joints pop. But I didn't want to come out of the bed. I just laid there, enjoying the moment.

I heard noise outside the door, but it was very vague. I heard liquid splash, metal colliding with metal, metal colliding with glass.

The door slid open. I closed my eyes again.

"Good morning, baby" my dad's soft voice said. I slowly opened my eyes, I wanted it to look like I just had woke up.

"What's this?" I asked with my made up sleepy voice.

The scent filled my room.

"Pancakes!" I said flying up to a sitting position as my dad came to the bed and putted the tray on my lap.

"A princess deserves breakfast in bed" he said. I leaned forward and gave him a kiss. I immediately stuffed me two pancakes at the time in my mouth and washed them down with milk.

"Do you want something?" I asked while whipping my mouth with the napkin.

"No" he answered

"Do you want me to feel guilty about something?"

"Nope"

"Do you want me to stay and not go out with Jake today?"

"No… but if you want we can…"

"Oh no! Nuh-hu _I'm _going to go out with Jake today. I made a promise and I keep it" I said stuffing me with two more pancakes. He chuckled lightly.

The sun slipped into my window and its beams hit my skin. I felt the warmth of them spread on my face and I closed my eyes. This was an amazing feeling.

I opened my eyes and saw that my dad was staring at me.

_Creep…_ I thought. He chuckled once.

"You're so alike your mother" he said.

"Except that I'm a human vampire, or a vampire human" I said. "Talking about her, where is she?"

"She went to visit Charlie. Apparently, Sue called her and told her that your grandpa isn't taking his medications, so your mom is going there to make sure he take his medications"

"How? By giving him another heart attack?"

"Well, Bella isn't that violent"

"She tried to rip Jakes head out when she found out that…"

"Oh, right! I'd completely forgot that." he said.

"Thanks for the breakfast, dad"

"You're welcome"

He took the tray and putted it on the floor. I looked at him. Then I looked at the clock.

" 11:30? I said and flew out of the bed.

"What about it?" he asked.

"I'm supposed to meet Jake at one!" I said shouting out from my new built clossed. I froze as I entered it. It was the same size as my entire room and it was filled with new clothes. I ran out to see that my dad was standing by the door with the breakfast tray on his hands.

"I'm in heaven!" I exclaimed and ran back in. I heard the door shut and I started to look around in the mall called wardrobe.

"Bye dad!" I said on my way out.

"Wait, where are you going to meet up?"

"By the treaty line, why?" "How are you going there?" "Running" I said.

He looked at me.

"wearing that?" he said looking at my sandals. I sighed.

"Will you drive me?" I asked.

"Now we're talking" he said and grabbed the keys from the table.

We ran to the main house and into the garage.

"Hey freshman" Jasper shouted from under his car.

"Hi, Jazz"

"Where ya' goin'?"

"Out" I said. He chuckled.

We took the black Volvo and where in less than ten minutes out on the road.

"I want car lessons" I said. He just looked at me and smiled.

"You can't you're seven, you're supposed to drive a tricycle"

"Well you're 140, you're supposed to be dead" I said.

He laughed at my statement.

I putted on the radio and a station was playing Kelly Clarkson's song 'My life would suck without you' and I turned the volume up. My dad protested but I turned of his voice by singing along.

We came to the treaty line and Jake was waiting for me there with a worried expression on his face.

"he think's I'm going to rip his head of" my dad said with a grin.

"But you won't" I said looking serious at him. He kept grinning

"Edward Cullen…"

"Take it easy, I won't" he said lifting his hands up in a gesture of innocence.

"I trust you!" I said giving him a kiss and going out of the car.

I walked to Jake that was leaning on the car side. His hands in his pockets, his shirt tight against his body, sculpting his muscles, making me once again weak-kneed and breathless.

I heard after any trace of my dad being around and turned around just to see him do an u-turn and disappearing out on the road.

I ran the little amount of distance that was left to Jake and jumped into his arms. My face turned and my lips founded his. We stood there, in the middle of the road, kissing. Without fearing anyone, without worrying about anything. Just the two of us. The thought of that made me smile.

"So what do you want to do today, princess" he said with his arms still rapped around me.

"It's a sunny day… what do you guys do when it's sunny around here?" He thought for a minute and the his face lit up.

_I know a place _he said.

We parked the car and went out. It was more windy out here than in the forest and I immediately started to shake, but I tried not to show it.

We were at a beach. La Push. It sounded funny. But it was really calm for being a beach. As far as I could see -which was far- I only saw three other persons. A couple walking hand in hand 5 miles away and a child some feet's in front of them, jumping on the rocks. I heard the seagulls cry above us and I heard the waves hit the shore. The air was fresh and humid.

"What do you think?" he asked me.

"It's pretty" I said. Not lying. The view was wonderful. "But those rocks scare me" I said looking at a big rock wall that was far away and some smaller rock cliffs that where around.

"Did you know that your mom almost killed herself there?"

I stared at him.

"What? How?"

"Well, she said she was cliff diving, I think it was a suicide attempt… she wasn't having the best day of her life during that time…" and he started to tell me everything. I listened carefully to the entire story. How dad had left, how mom had entered 'zombie-mood', how she and Jake started to hang out, how he fell in love with her, how he and dad fought along side to save her.

"Wow" was the only thing I could say after and hour and a half of the story telling.

"Tell me about it. It was a very interesting period."

"And how are you today?" I asked, concerned over all he just had told me. He took my hand in his.

_I've never been better_ he said.

We had walked a pretty long distance during the talk. I saw this old trunk and went to seat on it. Jake sat down next to me.

We sat down and watched the view in front of us. Admiring its beauty.

_Not as beautiful as you _he said to me and I replied by smiling shyly.

"Hey, I just remembered… you've a bet to pay up for" he said grinning. I turned to him.

"What do you want?" I asked

"Do I really need to say that?" he said raising his eyebrow. I leaned forward and gave him a kiss. A kiss not so different to the one I had give him yesterday, but it was more soft, not that intense. It didn't leave me burning, only made me warm and calm. I couldn't think of any other way of spend an afternoon than with Jake.

After some hours did my stomach complain loudly.

"Someone's hungry" He said hugging me. I just nodded. "What do you want to eat?" he asked.

"It's not food I really need, Jake" I said and he understood. "But for now I'll have to stick with a pizza or something" I said. He lifted me up to my feet and I brushed the sand of my pants. I took my cell and text mom.

_is there any food home?/ Ness_

It didn't take long to get a response.

_I made you some chicken, we're not home, your dad took me out to dinner._

I was surprised.

_Wow, he gives me breakfast on bed, takes you 2 dinner… I think he's up 2 something… keep an eye on him…_

_I will__… love you_

_Love u 2!_

"You want chicken?" I asked Jake.

"I can eat anything" he said.

" I feared that."

"Who would've thought that Edward could cook this good" Jake said relying on the chair.

"He has his secrets" I said. Not only when it came to the food. But I didn't say that.

"Oh crap" Jake said looking at his wrist. "Ness, I got to go, my pass starts soon"

"Pass?"

"Yeah, with the wolves… it's like a routine check… you know, watching the boarders, see if there's any danger, stuff like that"

I nodded. He stood up and walked to the door. I followed after him.

"Take car, okay" I said, really concerned.

"it's okay… I mean since your family left has it been pretty calm… you know… I actually miss the action"

I stared at him.

"Don't say that even as a joke!"

"Calm down, Ness, really. I'm okay" he said pulling me in and giving me a kiss. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him closer, not wanting him to leave. He responded by pulling me in even more. Our lips danced together to the same harmony, the song of our heartbeats.

_I got to go_ he said and I felt the kiss slow down. I knew I couldn't make him stay. He had to do this. I gave him a hug and he kissed my forehead.

"Love you"

"Love you too"

I saw him drive away, saw him disappearing.

My world, my everything, my heart, my air. My life.

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><p><strong>Thanks 4 reading this!<strong>

**2 Mogan Hill: THANK YOU SOO MUCH 4 YOUR COMMENT! It totaly made my day! and yes... i do live in Sweden;)**


	15. Ripped

**A short and a bit dramatic chapter... perfect for a Monday afternoon...**

**ENJOY!**

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><p><em>Ripped<em>

I watched the clock that was hanging in the living room. It was pretty early and my parent wouldn't come home until later, maybe they wouldn't come at all tonight, who knows. With dad acting all weird didn't I know what to expect.

I did the dishes and went to my room. I took a book and started to read. It was a Jane Austen. I knew I had read it before, but somehow I couldn't focus on the story. I though I maybe was reading it in Chinese.

I looked at the clock again. It had been 30 minutes since Jake had left. I became anxious and couldn't lie down. I went to my window and looked out at the dark forest. A dark forest that could hide any type of evil. I immediately turned around, away from the window. How could they do this? The wives of the imprinted? Where they calm or where they as worried as I was?

I couldn't just sit there. I needed to distract me. I went to my huge wardrobe ad started to look through it. I checked behind every door, inside every drawer and counters. I counted all the dresses, blouses, pants, jerseys, shoes, skirts and all of the clothing in there. I started to see which shoes went with which bags and whish necklaces matched with which earrings. I did everything to distract my mind, but it was impossible. I gave up, grabbed a jacket and went out. I ran to the main house. The lamps on the porch were on, but those where the only one.

I entered the house and it was empty.

"Anybody home?" I asked

"In my room" Rosalie answered me. I went up.

Rosalie was on the balcony of here room. The room was big but dark. It was only lit up by a little night table light. I hadn't seen the light because her room had the view to the back side of the house.

"Hey sweetie!" she said smiling. I just waved to respond. Not sure of what to think. She had been really pissed of yesterday when I was with Jake, but now was she the same auntie as ever. She maybe was PMS-ing, but it was impossible.

"What's wrong?" she asked me, his voice filled with mothering concern.

"Nothing… just worried"

"About what?"

"Jake… he left for some wolf duty thing." I said looking at the view, avoiding her look of anger.

"Ness, why are you so tight with that…" she begun.

"You know why" I said, my vice firm "and he's not a 'that', he's Jake, or Jacob"

"So you're going to be with him for some wolf-mate thing?" she said annoyed.

"You know that it's much stronger than just a thing, Rose. This is serious."

"Yeah, but you? Are you happy? Do _you_ have a choice?" she said and I didn't get it. What was she trying to do?

"Yes, I have a choice, of course I have! And I've chosen. I've chosen to be with Jake, it feels right. _I _feel right, I feel happy."

"But what if you could be happy with someone else?" I started to get what she was after.

"Are you trying to say that I can be happy _without _the _only one _who _really_ loves me?" I said, a bit angered now.

"You're just seven! And you'll live forever. You might find someone better"

I couldn't believe it!

"What? Are you my mother? Because as far as I know _my _mom and dad are totally okay with this. And aren't _they_ the only ones who can say that to me?"

She didn't say more. She was stunned, wordless. I saw pain growing in her eyes, some worthless efforts to produce tears which she would never cry.

"You're right, I'm not your mother. But I love you like my child. I see you as my daughter, the one I've desire and will desire for all eternity. And I wont let you make a mistake… specially not with that!"

I begun to lose my patience with her.

"But I'm not your daughter, you can't decide for me. The only one who have something to say here are my parents, and even if they said that they wouldn't let me be with him, I would." I said, trying to sound calm with that little amount of patience that was left in me.

"The _I _would go and look for you. Ness I don't want you to be with him"

"If _I'm _with Jake or not is _not _of _your_ damn business!"

"But I won't let you make that wrong step. I don't want you to suffer"

"No you don't want me to be with Jake, you said it yourself!"

She looked at me with a look that could kill, but she tried not to snap.

"No I don't." I took a deep breath.

"Why?"

"Because… because…"

"You don't even know why, don't you?" I shook my head. "I might be seven, but I'm as grown up as my speeded up growth. I'm 17... And I'll go out with Jake. He'll come over to dinner, he'll take me out to a movie. He'll bring me flowers, we will kiss each other in the porch, we'll walk hand in hand. He might follow us wherever we move, I might stay with him. We might get married. And if you want to be a part of my life, you'll have to deal with it. Because he has become my life."

The silence remained. She didn't protest, but didn't agreed either. I knew she had a strong mind. I knew this might be the last time we'll ever talk. But it was her decision.

I turned around and left. She stopped me.

"Ness" she said lightly, her voice thick, like if she crying, but she wasn't. She couldn't. "Will you ever change your mind?"

"Never" I answered looking out at the black hallway.

She didn't say more, I took it as a goodbye and left the room. When I came out did I start to run, let myself be surrounded by the darkness. Let my tears out, because I could cry.

I entered the house, went to the bathroom and washed my face. My tears mixing up with the water. I couldn't contain them. Rosalie was,_ is _a part of my entire life, she's my auntie. Only that my auntie had become selfish. Had chosen not to be a part of my life, a decision I couldn't do anything about.

I went to bed and kept crying. But I was crying for two. Crying for myself, crying for her to. I missed Jakes embrace, missed his arms around me, the warmth of his breaths to my head. I wrapped my arms around myself and felt how something slowly ripped me, how something disappeared from me, faded away. I felt how the tears stopped, how my breathing calmed down. My eyelids became heavier and I was submerged into black and dreamless sleep.

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><p><strong>what did you think? DON'T HESITATE ON COMMENT!<strong>

**XOXO**


	16. Sightseeing

**First of all: THIS IS ONE HECK OF A LONG CHAPTER, I KNOW, SORRY! But i just could't find a good end and kept this is juast in case i don't have time 2 update 2morrow, have a little much to do in school with final exams and stuff... so here you have chapter 16 of When Eternity Isn't Enough (WEIE:P)**

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><p><em>Sightseeing<em>

I didn't want to wake up, neither did I want to sleep. I felt unsure, didn't know what I wanted to do. I felt like screaming or crying. Or both. It was probably late night, around 3 am. I heard noise in one of the rooms. My parents were home. But it was to quiet for being the television. With my eyes closed did I focus on the sounds of their breaths which calmed me. But there was another sound, a squeak. Mattress feathers. But it was a very light and quiet sound. Then I heard a change in their breaths, then a sigh of relief…

"_Holly crow!" _I whispered to myself and flew out of the bed. I held my hands for my ears and started to sing for myself. Trying to erase the sound I just heard. I felt sick. Disgusting. Oh, God… I took deep breaths.

In…

Out…

In…

Out…

I couldn't… I shouldn't… oh…. What was I supposed to do now? They probably hadn't noticed that I had woke up, which was good. But still… Gosh! I took my shoes and a blanket and went out. It was cold. And dark. The sun wouldn't rise for another hour or so and I had been- unconsciously- restrained the entrance to my house. I shivered. Not from the cold, but of discomfort. So what now? I ran up to a tree and sat on a branch high up, watching the forest that surrounded the city of Forks. I realized that I had been here for almost three days without seeing anything besides grandpa Charlie's house, the reservation, La Push and some miles of driveway. I decide to go and explore Forks.

I quietly entered the room and putted the blanket on the bed. I put on some sweatpants over my pj shorts and a blazer to put over. I took my cell phone with me. Just in case. I stopped by the window to hear if they had notice my movements, but I regretted that immediately. I went out and clossed the window carefully.

I ran up to the tree to see where I where. At east was the main house and west the beach. South I had forest, to the north I had… Canada. I saw far away the light of the driveway and decided to run that way. I ran and ran, mile after mile. I came to a sign that said "The city of Forks welcomes you" and kept running, but in the deep forest. There was one car on the drive way and I followed it. I followed the car through South Forks avenue, the main way of this tiny city. After some miles was the forest replaced by an inn, then more and more shops. I saw signs and traffic lights. I slowed down my tempo to jogging. If someone asked. But then, who would be jogging at 3 am? When I came to the first traffic light did I turn right. I came to a school, Forks elementary school. It wasn't that big. I kept jogging and came back to the main road that went through the entire city. I saw dinners, cafés, a tiny book store, but I didn't see the high school. After about twenty minutes did I came to a neighborhood. There weren't many houses, and they where far away from each other, giving them a pretty huge garden. All the houses were painted in light colors, maybe to make it more light, but in this city wouldn't a orange house light things up. I could literally feel the fog.

I stopped in front of a familiar house.

_Swan _said the mailbox. I walked to the driveway to the little porch. I saw light coming out of the window. I carefully peeked in and saw that my grandpa had fallen asleep while watching the TV. I looked at him for a long time. Then I remembered what my dad had told me. I went to the side of the house and saw a tree. A floor above was a window, mom's window. I climbed up the tree and touched the window. It was open. I carefully opened and climbed in not making a sound that would wake my grandpa up. The first thing that hit me was a smell. A sweet, rose scent that filled the room. I went to the bed that had a purple bedspreads. I went to them and touched them. They where cold. I realized that nothing had changed since mom had married. I looked down to the floor and saw something. I bended down and saw that it was a photo. In the photo was my dad and… mom? I couldn't breathe. For the first time, I saw mom as a human. She was standing next to dad with a green short dress. She looked amazing. Her entire body revealed shyness and awkwardness, still she was beautiful. Her eyes where just like mine, chocolate brown and big. She looked so soft and delicate, her skin was pale and almost transparent. Hadn't I seen the eyes I would've thought she was a vampire in this picture. I took the photo and putted it in my pocket. I went out the room into a little hallway. I went down the stairs really quietly so that they wouldn't make noise. I went to the living room and watched my grandpa sleep. His chest raised and sunk back with every breath he took. He looked so peaceful.

I looked for the remote and turned the TV of. I watched him sleep for some more time.

I looked at the digital watch. 04:45. I was shocked. How long had I been here? I ran quietly to the bedroom and down the window into the deep forest. I ran and ran until I felt the smell of my family. I was heading to the main house once again.

Some miles before I came to the main house was I stopped by a smell. A strong and piercing smell. I felt breathless. I looked around but there was no one there. I kept running.

When I came to the main house was I welcomed by a sight that almost made me scream.

My family was standing in front of the house, looking at wall of six feet big wolves. No one had seen me stop and I laid back. I saw that Carlisle and my dad where in front of the others, I guessed they where trying to communicate. When I saw that they were totally calm and no one was in a hunting position did I come forward. Alice was the first one to notice and gasped slightly. But I saw how the wolves reacted. They turned around fast and where all looking at me with fierce eyes. I jumped back a feet, preparing myself to flee.´

"Renesmee?" my dad said . One of the wolves looked at me and did a shouting sound. The rest of them did immediately back out. I just looked between my dad and the huge wolves. Feeling terrified.

"What are you doing here?" he asked.

"I.. I… just… I couldn't sleep so I went out for a exploring trip." I answered. Lying

"Where did you go?"

"Hmm… I don't know… around. I ran through the forest, the highway, into the city…"

I saw how he relaxed and turned to the wolves.

"Seems like it was a false alarm" he said looking at the biggest wolves, a black one.

I was surprised. I had never seen this big wolves before, yet I felt they where familiar. A thought hit me and I turned to look at dad who nodded in response.

"Sorry, you guys!" I said when I understood that _they _where the guys that had been in Jake's house the first time I was there, but which one has which one didn't I know. I could only guess one, the big black one, Sam. I didn't know who Jake was of them, but I knew he was here, my nose had just caught his smell.

I looked around and saw that one of the wolves was pulling out his tongue and closing his eyes.

"I see you Paul" I said looking at him. I heard something that sounded like a laugh come out of Paul.

"Thank you for coming anyways to warn us, Sam. Sorry for the misunderstanding" my grandpa apologized.

Sam nodded and turned around, and so did the rest. But one wolf remained. He had a wonderful brown fur and when I looked into his eyes did I recognize him at once. I went to him.

_Hey Jake _I said running my fingers through his fur. He laid his head on my arm and I kept my fingers in his fur. _Tell the rest that I'm really sorry for causing you guys this trouble. _He looked at me like to say 'it's okay, no trouble'. _Can you come over later, like as soon as you're done with your shift? _I asked him. He nodded and I let go my hand. He ran of to catch the rest. I looked at him.

"Renesmee?" my dad said from behind.

"I'm gonna tell you why I went out, but lets take it home, please?" I said and he nodded. We ran away.

We sat on the kitchen table, there was no idea of going to bed again, the sun had begun to rose, but it was to early for breakfast.

"Why did you left in the middle of the night, hon?" mom asked. I stared at my hands on the table. Feeling awkward.

"You can tell us"

"No, I can't" I said, avoiding their eyes. I slipped to the sound that had started everything, the squeaking sound of the mattress feathers. My dad froze and stared at me.

"Renesmee…! We didn't know you where…"

"Stop, stop… right there!" I said interrupting him " I'm actually trying to convince myself that when I sleep you live out your childhood and jump in the bed and laugh, ok? And it's actually a really good explanation so… let's keep it there… please!"

He nodded, obviously embarrassed.

"Changing subject…" he started

_Please, do! _I though

"What happened between you and Rose today?" he said. I froze. I was caught in bed. Shoot! Not the most appropriate expression…Oh, gosh…

"Renesmee!"

"Sorry"

"So what happened?" he asked calmly.

"You already know."

"But was it as bad as never talk to her again?" he asked, obviously misunderstanding everything.

"She had an option, she decided that, not me."

He sighed.

"You know she's devastated" he said

"Me too. But I can't do anything about it. It was her choice." I said feeling the tears coming out again.

I rose up and went to the bathroom and cried once again.

After a while in the bathroom did someone knock on the door.

"_Nessie?" _Jake said with a soft voice.

I had been leaning against the door for more than 30 minuets, so I rose up on sleepy and stiff legs.

I unlocked the door and sat on the edge of the bathtub. Jake came in and closed the door halfway, you could still se out. He didn't say anything, he just walked to me and hugged me. He sat next to me on the edge of the bathtub and I sobbed in his embrace. I let everything go out, didn't keep anything in. I had went to sleep whishing he was hugging me, now he was. He caressed my back and kissed my head. He mumbled words of consolation without knowing what his consolation was for.

After another half hour of crying did my sobs become lighter.

_Will you tell me what happened? _he asked

_I had an argue with Rosalie…_

_About'?_

_She's mad because I'm with you. She doesn't want that._

_And that's why she's pissed and don't talk to you?_

_Not exactly. _I started _I told her that if she wanted to be a part of my life she'd have to deal with us being together. You're my life now, Jake. _

_But she didn't like the idea, did she? _he asked. I didn't answer him. _Of course not. _he said after a long break. _She doesn't like me._

_She's being childish. _I replied. _She doesn't know you. You're wonderful._

_You're that too, that and so much more, and I don't want you to cry, I don't like to see you like that. _he said.

I took a deep breathand his arms let go of me. He took my hand instead.

"No more tears, okay?" he said. I nodded. "You want some breakfast?"

I nodded again. We stood up and went to the kitchen. I passed a mirror in the hallway and saw my reflection.

"Holy crow!" I gasped looking at my dirty cloths, muddy sneakers and messed up hair. "Just a second" I said to Jake and I ran to my bedroom and took of the sweatpants and sneakers and threw them in the laundry pile, or the recycle bin. I kept my shorts on and took and oversized sweater and some slippers. I looked for a hairbrush and braided my hair into one long braid that I putted to the side. I went to the bathroom and washed my face and brushed my teeth before I felt I looked decent enough to enter the kitchen and been seen in public. That was what my aunties had thought me… The pain grew but I ignored it.

Jake was in the kitchen preparing something on the stove.

"What are we having for breakfast?" I asked him.

"Eh… I warn you that my coking skills aren't as good as Edwards" he said "But I'll try to make you some eggs" he said looking in the fridge.

"It's okay. I can eat cereals with milk" I said trying to prevent a disaster from happening. I came from behind him and dived under his arms and grabbed the milk. I heard how he closed the door of the fridge and opened another door.

"You want cornflakes or the chocolate ones"

"The chocolate ones" I said with a baby voice.

"Do you still eat this?" he said taking out a bowl from one of the counters above the sink.

"I'm seven… I like eating chocolate and sweets twenty-four seven! And I'm a teenage girl, I stuff my face with chocolate when I'm sad"

"Tell me about it! Rache actually hit me hit a casserole when I didn't gave a chocolate bar…"

"Ouch" I said, imagine the pain.

He gave me the bowl and the cereals and I started to prepare my breakfast. Then he putted his arms around my waits, connecting with me, following my every move. Now and then did he kiss my head and I got goose bumps. The though of having him here with me made me feel like I the moon.

I dropped everything I was doing and turned around. I looked him in the eyes and he smiled. His smile sent a electricity shock through me and I putted my hands around his neck I felt how his hands locked around my waist. I stood on my toes to reach him better. He bended down.

Our lips moved together in perfect harmony, like they belonged together. The soft movements of my lisp against his almost made me lose my balance. He felt that I almost fell and he grabbed my waist and lifted me up. He putted me on the table. Now that I was sitting was it easier for me to grab him and I could pull him closer. It became also easier to kiss him. The kisses grew in intensity and became more wild in some way. Even though we where close didn't it feel close enough, I wanted him closer. I locked one leg around him and pulled him in. he responded by grabbing my leg and hugging it and walking forward and with his free hand was he pushing my back forward to him. My hands slid up and down his neck, grabbed his hair and let it go. Our kisses kept growing and our breathings became heavier. I sighed loudly and so did he. His arms where tight against my back and leg. I pulled back my head and took a deep breath. I found his lips again and kiss him with such intensity that I though I would explode.

_Ness, _he tough between sighs in his head. He said my name over and over. I said his name over and over.

I pulled him forward and I went back to lay on the table. He followed me.

I hit something and it fell. I heard dripping of liquid to the floor and I looked up.

_SHOOT!_

I lingered out of Jake's grip and took up the milk bottle from the floor, Jake was already behind me with something to clean up the mess of the floor.

When I was done did I start to laugh and so did he.

"It was a good thing that it fell" he suddenly said "I wasn't sure of what you where doing" he said. I blushed.

"Yeah, a became a bit eager" I confessed.

"_A bit?"_ he said smiling.

"You know, if you don't want me to fly over you again will you either have to stop smiling or you'll have to put something over you face." He chuckled.

"What if you instead eat your breakfast?" he reached me the bowl of cereals.

I sat down and he took the seat in front of me. I started to eat.

"You scared the crap out of everybody yesterday with your sightseeing trip" he said

"Yeah sorry about that"

"It's okay" he said. "But next time you do that, make sure to tell me or anyone of your family, and don't go out in the middle of the night, ok?" "Yes sir"

He smiled and I looked down at my cereals and ate.

"What did you see yesterday anyway?"

"Nothing, really. I ran through the highway and the main road."

"So you didn't see anything at all"

"not really"

"Okay. Eat your breakfast and I'll take you out on a _real _sightseeing tour of Forks"

"Yay!" I said and shoved in the bowl of cereals and lifted him up and led him to the door.

"Eh.. Ness. I think you should change" he said and I looked down at my slippers.

"I'll be right back" I said giving him a quick kiss on my way to my room.

I took the first best thing I found and went to him.

"Lets go!" I said. When I passed through the kitchen did I see a piece of paper on the floor. I took it.

_We went to Carlisle's, we left you some money in the jar above the stove. _

_Love: Mom & Dad_

I took the same piece of paper and left them a note in the back.

_Went out with Jake, don't know when we'll return, I have the phone with me. Thanks for the money!_

_XOXO Nessie_

I went to the stove and took the money that was in the jar. Or, it wasn't money, it was my mom's American Express card.

"Now can we leave" I told Jake and took his hand.

I closed the door behind me. Leaving there all the sadness I had felt and left now for a happier today with my Jake.

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><p><strong>Sorry again if it was to long, i hope it was worth reading!<strong>

**If you though so PLEASE COMMENT! Your coments help me a lot in my writing**

**Thanks for reading and have a continued blessed day!**


	17. Plans

**Hello there! I have a surprise 4 u guys! This is a very short chapter from an X POV... These will pop up in the middle of the story and will be very important later on... but for now I'll leave you with this... enjoy! **

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><p><em>Plans<em>

I walked fast. Not running, but fast. I felt how a breeze hit my face as I walked the dark underground tunnels. I heard my brother's footsteps behind me. Besides that want there another sound. Just our walk. Nobody else knew about these underground passages. At least not as I knew. And I knew a lot.

I turned right and kept walking. Then a curve at my left. I walked straight and then did a brutal right turn.

Above me was a star-filled sky. But no moon. I saw it though the hole above us. My brother was now next to me.

"Ladies first" he said.

I jumped up and out of the well. I waited for my brother to come up.

"Follow me" I told him and started to run.

My feet barely touched the ground as I ran through the shadows of the church. I entered the dark forest. I ran and avoid hitting rocks, trees or branches. Looking forward. Always looking forward.

We came to the dessert clearing in the middle of the forest.

The two where already waiting for us.

"Ah, dear. You made it" he said as he nodded. Once at me once at my brother.

"Yes. As we had agreed"

"I like it, very good"

We stood quiet for a while looking at each other. Having a very silently conversation.

"Have you though over what you asked us?" the one beside him asked.

"No need to" I replied him firmly.

"You know it is a big thing you ask for, dear" he said looking at me with careful eyes. "Are you sure you want to do it?"

"If I hadn't been sure of what I'd asked you for I wouldn't have done all this effort for nothing. I have been planning this."

"I'm sure you have" the blond responded. "When are you going to act?"

No we were talking.

"When he is as most vulnerable."

They both looked at me with confusion filling their eyes and faces.

"Just leave it to me" I said abruptly, running out of patience. "I know what I shall do. In the mean time you should be careful of exposing this to him. Even though he's a very confused man, is he very smart. He will know if you are conspiring against him and rip your heads before you can blink. And he will send _me _to do that. And I really don't want to do that to you my dear friends." I said looking at each one of them. They knew I wasn't lying. He was capable to do it.

We all looked at each other for another while.

"If there is nothing else to discuss I think we should leave, shouldn't we?"

"One more question dear" he hesitated a bit before continuing "why exactly is your purpose with this, dearest?" he looked at me. I threw a quick sight at my brother who returned my look with a small blink, unnoticeable.

"When the first part is done I will tell you the more details of my plan. The first step as I have said before, is to get rid of him. He is the only one between _us _and _them_"

"Dearest, who exactly are _we _and who are _they_?"

"No. No more questions. When the time is come, you will know. Until I call you back my dear friends" I said and turned around.

As I entered the forest did a sight of relive leave my dead body. Finally, it would be justice. Finally we would win.

I looked at him that was running next to me. I came closer and took his hand in mine as we slowed down until we stopped.

"Finally, we will be free" I told him as I gave him a quick passion filled kiss.

And I meant it. Next time we returned from that country, from the town that now was a strictly forbidden area, it would be leaving behind nine bodies that would be forever dead.

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><p><strong>What did u guys think? Any idea of who it might be? Write ur answeres in a review... lets see who guess right;)<strong>

**SEE YAAA SOOONNN**


	18. Opening

**Here's ch 18 of the story from nessies POV again... Any guesses of who's POV the last chapter was ? ;)**

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><p><em>Opening <em>

Jake drove through the road and we passed different shops and a dinner, then it was it.

"I guess I didn't miss much" I said while we stopped at the same traffic light twice. The _only _traffic light. Or maybe there was another? I wasn't sure.

"What you want do now?" Jake asked relaxed.

"Eh… what else is it here to do?"

He though for a second "Nothing really" he said smiling. I smiled too. I couldn't do else. He was contagious. "You want to go back home?"

I shook my head. "To much going on now, I don't want to see Rose, not today." I said feeling the sorrow and the pain coming back to me.

"Hey, princess, we agreed, no more tears" he said taking my chin in his hand and lifting it up so that I could meet his eyes._ I don't like to see you like that._

_Ok, no more tears. But it's hard…_

_I understand that, but it was her decision, you couldn't do anything about it. _

_That's what hurts the most. She don't want to be a part of my life because of some stupid fight. I was born daughter to a vampire and a human. _I'm _both vampire and human, that never bothered her. I'm in love with a werewolf and suddenly we have an issue with that? That's not fair._

_Well, life isn't fair, but we still have to deal with it and do the best of the situation. _Jake said unbuttoning his seatbelt to come to me and hug me. I relied in his arms and tried my hardest not to cry.

"Get me out of here" I said with my head buried in his shirt.

"You'll have to let go of me then" he responded.

"Are you sure you cant drive with me hugging you?" "Pretty sure, yeah"

I sighed and let go of him. He started the car and we drove away.

"You have walking shoes on?" he asked

I looked at my feet on my ballerina shoes "I'll survive" I said looking at them "What are you planning?" I looked suspiciously at him, but he only smiled.

"You'll se" where the last words he spoke.

"The res?" I said as he parked his car in front of his house.

"Just a stop on the way" he said walking out of the car.

I went out after him and he was waiting for me.

"How fast can you run?" he asked. I wanted to show of. In less than five second I ran from where we stood 10 miles into the woods and back.

"Fast enough?" I asked without a change in my voice.

"show off" he said.'

Without a warning did he push me down the ground and started to run.

"Cheater!" I screamed behind him but he had already entered the woods. I stood up, brushed some dirt of my jeans and started to run after him. I followed his scent when I noticed he'd been running in circles to confuse me.

I climbed up to the trees and started to jump between them. I felt the air in my face and his scent.

I suddenly stopped and saw this big wolf just under the tree I was on. I didn't breathe.

The big creature looked up and saw me. He blinked with one eye and was then out in the run.

"Jake!" I said after him, but he was long gone.

I climbed down and started to run after the wolf.

I hadn't notice the forest was thicker here, but it didn't stop me from running after him.

I once again climbed up and saw Jake some feet in front of me putting his shirt on.

As quietly as I could did I jump down and fell on his back.

"Got ya'" I said into his ear.

"You always do" he said turning his face to me. I kissed him as I kept my arms around him. A quiet giggle escaped my mouth and I felt how his lips rose up in a smile together with mine.

He started to walk with me hanging like a monkey to his back.

After some minutes of walking in normal speed did we come to a little open area.

"Welcome to my getaway" he said.

I looked at the glade in front of us. A little piece of nature that felt so magical in a weird way.

Around the glade where some wild flowers starting to bloom. The grass was beginning to get a summer green color and around my feet did I see an ant dragging a piece of dried grass. Probably to build it's house.

I jumped down from Jake's back and took his hand.

_it's so pretty_

"It's special. I've spend many days here, thinking. Wondering."

"About?"

"All kinds of things"

I looked at Jake.

"Like…?"

Without noticing did we walk to the middle of the glade and sat on the cold grass while Jake told me of his memories. He told me that he'd found this place in an attempt to run away from home when he was younger, when his mom no longer was around. He told me about the sorrow and the pain. That empty hole the lost of someone near leaving him. How he'd come here when he recently had become a werewolf. How he spend the nights wondering if my mom was still alive. How he wondered if _I _still was in Brazil or if I was gone forever. He opened to me completely and full hearted.

Every single meaning made me change my opinion to him. Jake wasn't only strong and big. He was soft, sensitive, deep. He had so many things and thoughts in his head that he sounded like a magister in philosophy or something.

After he had said everything he had in mind hadn't I notice a tear that had escaped my eye until he'd strike it away from my face.

"I love you" I whispered to him, my hand in his, our foreheads meeting.

"I love you, too. More than you can imagine" he said, not whispering. Why would he? We were in the woods, we could scream everything we wanted.

"Thanks for not stop waiting for me. Thanks for keeping loving me the way you do."

"Thank you for letting me love you" he answered playing with a lock of my hair.

We remained forehead to forehead a while. Sharing thoughts, images, pictures, moments. Telling each other how important we were to each other. Promising we'd never leave each other.

A big boom interrupted us. And as we looked up to heaven was rain already pouring down.

_Ah, perfect! _Jake thought.

_Let's go _I said.

He stood up and grabbed me. Then he ran away.

"Where are you going!" I screamed after him.

"I'll be right back!" he shouted back.

In less than a minute was he back. In his wolf shape.

"You want me to climb up on you?" I asked. He nodded.

I jumped up on his back.

_It's okay baby, it's like horse riding _he said calmly.

_Sure, but I've never ride a horse._

_Do you trust me._

I took a breath _Theoretically_

_Well, then let's do the practice _he said and we where of.

Jake flew like a bullet through the woods. The rain splashed on my face.

_Calm down! I don't have a windshield wiper installed!_

He laughed quietly in his thoughts.

I grabbed harder of his fur.

_Don't make me bald, honey_

_ops, sorry._

As we came closer to the reservation did he slow down.

_Go to the jeep, I'll be right back _he said

_Where're you going?_

_I got to change_

_You're naked? _I almost fell of him as he said it.

_If I don't get undressed when I phase will I have to buy new clothes every week. I have the clothes on my leg _he said and I looked at the leg. He had a piece of fabric around his feet.

_Okay _I said jumping down and heading to the jeep.

Minutes later did Jake come to the car. Shirtless. My heart stopped at the sight of his well defined muscles and I felt how a I got warm everywhere.

"You lost your shirt?" I asked trying to sound unaffected by the fact that he was half naked. I'd actually been with him _completely _naked, even though unaware of it, but still.

"Yeah. That and I couldn't be bother to go back for it. A shirt is a shirt right?"

"Right" I said half hypnotized my his uncovered body. "You don't get a cold?" I asked

"No" he said.

I nodded and the engine start.

On the way home had I seen that I'd three text and one missed call from my dad. So when we arrived to the cottage was he waiting for us.

"Oh boy" I sighed as Jake killed the lights and we went out.

"Hi daddy" I said trying.

No response. Mom showed up behind him.

"Hey, Jake! Thanks for bringing Renesmee back. What did you do all day?" "Nothing. Where around Forks, took a walk in the woods. Got caught by the rain." he shook his shoulders looking innocent.

"You don't want to come in?" mom said looking at him

"No, I'm okay"

"You still don't own a shirt?" my dad asked Jake

_Why would he? _I though when I saw my dad react to my thought. _Ops. _

"Inside, Renesmee"

"Yes, Sir" I said and turned to Jake.

"Bye. See you tomorrow" I said, wanting to kiss him, if it wasn't for certain persons.

"One minute" my dad said and entered.

As soon as the door closed did Jake pull me towards him and kissed me. I putted my arms around him to pull him closer. His skin burned under my touch.

_You're hot _I told him under the kiss

_Thanks baby _he said.

_Well, that hot to. _I let him hold me as one of my hands slid down his chest and around up to his back.

I heard steps.

_Fun's over _I said hugging him.

"Your minute's up. God nigh Jacob" My dad said from the door.

"Good night" he said

_Love you_

That night did I go to sleep feeling Jake's heat over my body. Feeling his kiss linger on my lips. The only thing that made me survive the night was the thought of Jake coming back tomorrow to sweep me away from reality.

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><p><strong>Did you like it=Review<strong>

**didn't you like it=Review anyways ;)**


	19. Sick

**this chapter was written in about an hour so that u would read! sorry if it's not as good as the others i've post!**

**Enjoy and coment!**

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><p>Sick<p>

"Honey, what did you guys_ really_ do yesterday?" mom asked at the breakfast table the next morning.

"Mom!" I said looking at her. I knew she wouldn't ask that if dad was around, but still.

"Just asking! Your crabby today aren't you?"

"I have a headache and I'm freezing" I said. Annoyed. Three following sneezes where the next things to be heard.

"well, Edward wont be happy about that. He'll blame Jake for being irresponsible, letting you out in the rain without an umbrella. And I quote 'Just because he shows of and walks around without a shirt doesn't it mean the you can handle cold temperatures… yada, yada'"

I laughed at moms scary alike imitations of my dad.

"You know mom, most people say 'bless you' when someone sneeze, not give them a lecture"

"Just warning you" she said removing my plate from the table.

"Just because he shows of and walks around without a shirt doesn't it mean that…"

Wow, mom was right. And she knew it. She gave me that 'I told you so' look.

When that had returned from some grocery shopping did I have more snot than brain and high fever.

"Dad… please!"

"What 'please'?"

"Hush! I've a headache I don't need your lectures!"

" I think you really need them. I'm taking you to Carlisle, he'll check on you…"

"Edward! I'm okay! It's just a cold. Everybody gets it!"

"Did you just call me Edward?" My dad replied.

In that instant was I out of my bed and flying through the woods.

After a minute was I entering the main house in my dad' arms.

"What happened princess? You burned yourself in the stove?" Emmett said looking up from the baseball game he was watching.

"Shut up!" I wasn't in the mood for his jokes.

"Touchy. Someone hasn't slept so well. Why? Dreaming of your wolf-friend?" I lost my patients.

I grabbed a vase that stood by a little table near were my dad had stopped and threw it at Emmett. His head took the shot, just as I wanted.

"What was that for?" he yelled.

"For being so freaking annoying!"

"Renesmee, respect your uncle!" Edward exclaimed

"But he's…"

He gave me a rough look and I didn't say anymore.

"What's happening here?" my grandpa asked as he came down with grandma.

"The princess broke your vase, Esme" Emmett said with a grin.

"If you don't want me to break your head then shut up!" I said, extremely irritated.

"She's sick, I want you to check her" Edward interrupted .

"Grandpa, tell him that a cold wont threat my life"

"Before was a cold everything that took to kill a child of your age" my dad said

"Yeah, but when you where young you didn't have aspirin. And I think my immune system grows along with my age"

"She's right, Edward" my grandpa defended me " A cold isn't so much threat. Just let her rest and give her the medications I'll give you and she'll be just fine."

_Told you so _

"Can you let go of me, please?" I asked him out loud. He putted me on the floor.

"What did you do to get that cold?" my grandma asked me.

"I was out with Jake. We where walking around when it suddenly started to rain. We where far away from the jeep so we got pretty wet."

"Oh, I guess you where wet _way _before!" Emmett said.

And there went my patience.

I flew over the sofa, my target on ripping his head of. But before I knew was I in the hands of Edward and Jasper.

"Calm down, Nessie" Alice whispered to my ear. Jasper made me feel calm, which I appreciated.

_Thank you _I said to him. He nodded in response.

When things had calm down and Emmett was out of the house was I sitting in my grandpa's office. My mom had arrived to.

"When was your last hunting trip, dear?" my grandpa asked.

I counted "More than three months ago" I said.

"Oh dear!" my grandma exclaimed.

"Why didn't you say anything?" my mom said.

"I don't know. I don't know when I need a hunting trip. I always eat so…" I looked at the surprised faces that where in the room.

"Can I go home now?" I asked.

"Of course, dear" my grandpa said. I looked at Edward

"You'll have to carry me, I don't have any shoes" I said.

He lifted me from the chair and ran out.

When we came home did I go directly to my room. I clossed the blinds, killed the lights and laid down I bed.

I took my phone and putted my headphones on. I listened to a calm melody. Its lyrics where soft, they reminded me of Jake.

I looked at the phone and saw a missed call from him. He'd left a message.

"_Hey baby! You ok? I wanted to check on you. Did he give you a hard time last night? Please call me when you hear this. Love you."_

His soft voice made me calm and gave me chills. I called him back.

_Jacob. _he answered

"Hi, it's me"

_Ness! How are you babe? You don't sound good?_

"I'm sick. I caught a cold last night" I now heard and felt how my throat ached.

_Oh, was it my fault? I'm sorry!_

"No, Jake, it's okay. It's just a cold" I loved the way he cared about me.

_You've fever?_

"Mhm"

_You want me to come over and take care of you? _he asked. With concern but with a tiny hint of seduction on his voice.

"I think I'll get _more _fever if you come around" I said to tell him I've get the hidden message. "Besides Edward's a bit pissed right now"

_I could've guessed._

"Don't take it serious though. If the dog barks doesn't it mean that he's going to bite you."

_You've right._

"Jake?"

_Yes, love?_

"Can you please talk to me. Just talk, I wont reply. I just want to hear your voice now. Please?" _Of course. What do you want me to say? That I love you? Then I will. I love you Renesmee Cullen. I love you like I never ever loved anyone before. And I always will love you. No matter what. I'll always be there for you, you just need to call or scream. I'm always waiting for you…_

He kept talking to me. Kept telling me he loved me, kept saying what I meant to him. His voice rocked me to sleep.

A pain flew threw me. A pain that took my breath away. It stung everywhere, every single bone, muscle, fiber. Everything burned! I searched for air to fill my lungs with and scream, but I didn't inhale oxygen. I inhaled acid. I grabbed the pillow and bit it. I felt how my sharp teeth went through its fabric and ripped it. I once again tried to breath but I couldn't. then I screamed in my thoughts.

_DAD! HELP ME!_

in that instant was my dad there.

"What's wrong?" he asked worried.

_It hurts! IT HURTS EVERYWHERE!_

"It's okay honey!" he laid his hand on my forehead but it felt like if he was hitting me with a brick.

_Don't touch me! It hurts! _I screamed in my thoughts.

"Bella! Call Carlisle now!" My dad screamed.

I was rolling in the bed. Grabbing the sheets and feeling the tears who left pain filled marks where they ran down my check. The pain was unbearable. In my head I tried to remember Jake's voice before I fell asleep, but not even that helped.

I once again inhaled acid. But this time, I managed to scream. A scream that made my lungs explode. A scream that lingered in the room for several minutes. A scream that made me pass out.

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><p><strong>Thanks for reading!<strong>

**To luv2beloved, Morgan Hill, Melissa & Alyssa: THANK YOU GUYS FOR YOUR COMENTS & 4 READING! I LOVE YOU 2!**


	20. Suffer

**Hello my dear followers! This two upcoming chapters are from Jakes POV! As the other ones they start where the last ´chapter ended so I hope you like them and that they aren't äs confussive as in my mind...**

**Read, Enjoy and comment!**

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><p><em>Suffer<em>

I felt something stung me in the chest. It wasn't pain, but it was something.

I opened my eyes and searched for my phone. The display showed 4am. Wolf hour. I putted the phone on charge, the battery was about to die. I'd been talking to Renesmee fore a long time. Then she fell asleep. I think she slept through the entire afternoon because she didn't call back. But I couldn't blame her. She was sick. Poor her.

The thought of her made me warm all over. Just the thought. I remembered her face in my mind, how she sounded. Her smell, her touches. Being around her was _magical._ I think I understand why all the imprints are so fluffy. The feeling is indescribable.

I was once again stung by that awful feeling in the chest. Something felt really wrong. Renesmee?

I took the phone of the charger and called her. She didn't answer, just voice mail.

I left her a message to call me as son as she heard it and hung up. But I still didn't feel okay. Something felt wrong. Really wrong.

I couldn't go back to sleep. I was worried, impatient. What was going on?

I tried once again to call but nothing.

I went to the kitchen and drank a glass of water. "It's probably nothing," I told myself over and over. "She's okay,". But something told me she was not okay. I felt it.

I went back to my room and called once again to the phone but no answer.

I slung the phone on the wall and I think it broke. Why didn't she pick up? Was she okay?

Anxiety grew in me and I was considering to run out and go and check on her when the house phone rang.

"Hello?" I answered. I hadn't notice I was breathing heavy.

_Jake, it's Bella_

"Hi. Is everything okay?"

_No, that's why I'm calling you. Nessie… we don't know…. She's not doing good. She has pain everywhere and she's… screaming and crying. I don't know…_ Bella's voice broke a bit and my heart stopped. I felt how the ground disappeared under my feet and I had to rely on the wall to stand up.

"What… What do you…"

_She wants you to come, she needs you. Please hurry up!_

"I'm there in a minute" I said and hung up.

"Who was that?" my dad asked coming out of his room, Rachel followed him.

"Renesmee is sick. She needs me" I heard how my voice broke. "Bella called and told me that she's in a lot of pain, and she wants me to go over"

Rachel gasp slightly and my dad nodded at me. And I ran off.

The entire way to the main house was pure fear. Fear of what might be happening, fear of what I would meet. I had honestly never felt this scared in my life.

Some feet before I arrived to the house did I phase and putted my cloths on. I assured to were a shirt, so that Edward wouldn't complain.

Bella was waiting for me on the porch in front of the door. When I came to her did she greet me with a hug.

"Thank you for coming" she said quietly and with a voice that was heavy with worry. Whatever that was happening, was really bad.

"Anytime" I replied. She let go of me.

"She's in Carlisle's office" she said and we went up.

As we entered the house where my ears filled with a sound that filled me with pain and made my heart explode. A scream. A piercing sound that hurt so bad. I ran up to the office and saw her.

She was on a bed. Her body was twisting in pain, her face was sweaty and here eyes where all around the place.

"Make it stop! Please! Make it stop!" she screamed over and over. And every time she screamed did something punch me right into the heart. A knife that was cutting so deep, over and over.

I was paralyzed by the door. Bella had walked to her and was whispering some words of comfort in her ear. But she didn't touch her.

She screamed once again and I saw how Bella clossed her eyes and how Edward hugged her shoulders. His eyes and faced reflecting that wild man I'd seen when Bella was in pain. But this time it was stronger. Next to him was the doctor. He was just standing there. Looking. Doing nothing.

Renesmee was twisting and turning in such pain that I walked to her. I wanted to hug her to comfort her.

"Don't do that" Edwards voice said "If we touch her does it get worse" he said looking at her. Feeling her pain. But he was just looking.

"Can't you do _anything?_ she's in pain! Can't you do something? You two are doctors!" I looked at both Carlisle and Edward. The both looked me with the expression of 'we don't know what this is. We can't help her'.

A wild scream pierced my ears. A scream that last for long and painful seconds. She was stretching, her back turned to a bow and the scream got intense. Her eyes rolled back. I felt tears burning in my eyes. I couldn't watch.

Suddenly she felt on the mattress like a piece of fabric. Her arms and legs with no life. Like she'd died.

"Renesmee!" I screamed running to her but the doctor managed to stop me.

"She's fine…"

"Fine? Fine is the last thing she is! Look at her!" I screamed terrified.

"She passes out. She does that now and then. Before she wakes up and starts to scream again. It's like the pain is to much to bear and her body passes out" Edward said with his voice heavy of pain, I think he almost was crying.

"Can't you give her anything?"

"She burns out the morphine in seconds. We have already given her to much, and we have to consider that we can't give her an overdose." Carlisle spoke.

It took a while before I could melt all the words that he'd said to me.

"So, we just have to sit here and wait?"

"I'm afraid that that is the only thing we can do, son" Carlisle said putting one hand on my shoulder.

After a while was everyone there, everyone except Blondie. Everyone was quiet everybody was in pain with her. After some minuets did she once again start to move. Her fist opened and clossed so hard that her knuckles whitened.

Her eyes opened and she looked bewildered around the room. Her chest rose and sunk, faster for every breath she took. She grabbed the sheets and pulled them. I heard how they ripped.

I looked at my left and saw Jasper staring at her, giving her an intense look. I didn't like that.

"He's just trying to see if he can remove the pain by filling her with a calm feeling" Edward said to me. And I remembered. He could change emotions.

I saw how Renesmee struggled. How she relaxed and then became tense once again. How the pain left and returned.

"I can't be here" Jasper finally said and left the room with little Alice after him.

In that instant did Renesmee scream. Everybody looked at her. I think they felt just like me. Useless. I wanted to do so much. I wanted to take the pain myself, wanted to end her suffer.

She turned her head around and looked me in the eyes.

"Ja-a-ke. Ja…ke" she said over and over and I walked to her.

"I'm right here, Nessie. Right here, baby" I whispered into her ear.

"It… hur-ts so-o ba-a-ad" she said her voice almost indescribable. It didn't sound like her. "Ta-ake… take it a-away, Ple-a-se!" she said and screamed.

I felt how my tears swelled up. I felt like trash. I was trash. Useless trash.

She grabbed my hand and squeezed it so hard that she broke some bones. We both screamed.

"Renesmee, let go" Edward said calmly "You're hurting him"

_I'm sorry, Jake! I'm so sorry._ she said to me.

_It's okay baby, it's okay._ I said trying to ignore my broken bones.

She let go of my hand and did once again pull the sheets, she bended her head backwards and I saw her jaw clinch. She was suffering so bad!

"Come Jake, I'll fix your hand" Carlisle said.

"No. I wont leave her" I said holding on to the bed were she was laying.

"But you have to fix them before…"

"I'm not leaving" I said strongly. I wouldn't move. Not even if there was an hurricane out there or an earthquake, I wouldn't move. She needed me.

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><p><strong>Thanks for reading and have a great day!<strong>

**PS: I've twitter if anyone wants to follow;)**


	21. Painkiller

**Heey! So the reactions I've got from the chapter before are"What the heck?" and i know, it was a sudden change in things, and i'm sorry if it's to confusive, but you'll have to wait for annorther chapter to fine out what really is going on;)**

**This chapter isn't as intense as the other one, But i hope you like it!**

**Don't forget to comment! if u have annything to say about the story, or critque it's just to coment or PM**

**ENJOY!**

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><p><em>Painkiller<em>

The sun rose but I didn't move. Both Bella and Esme had offered me food, but I wouldn't eat. Not until she was okay.

She'd woke up and screamed and the passed out several times, every time as painful as the other.

Right no she was awake.

"Jake"

"Yes baby?"

"Ta-alk to-o me."

"What do you want me to say?" "An-y-thi-ing"

"Okay" I said trying to hide my pain filled voice. "eh… everything will be fine, I'm here. I wont leave you. I'm right here. Did I tell you that I love you? Because I do. I love you so much. And it hurts to see you like this. You have to find strength, love. You have to come over this. Do you know why it hurts.?" she screamed.

"Gi-ive m-e you-r ha-and" she said

I couldn't not give her what she wanted, who cared if she broke my entire hand.

She took it and flinched.

_Put it on my cheek _she told me.

As carefully as I could did I lay my hand on her cheek. She cried and I took it away.

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry baby!"

"it-s okay. P-please" she said and looked at my hand.

I once again lifted my hand to her cheek and held it there. She took a deep breath and bite her lower lip.

_Don't do that, you'll hurt yourself _I told her, trying to sound calm.

_Can you caress my cheek? _she asked me and I did.

I touched her cheek slightly, removing the tears that streamed down with every touch.

_it helps _she suddenly said.

_what helps?_

_Your touches, I'm not in pain anymore, well, at least not in my cheek_s she answered_._

Could it be possible? _How? _I asked her.

_You're touches always makes me feel better_

_Really?_

She nodded.

I started to move my hand along her face. I touched her forehead, her eyelids, nose, mouth, everything.

I let mi hand slide to her neck and around her shoulders

_Please, don't stop _she told me

I touched her arms. I grabbed her hands in mine.

_Dad? _she thought. In that instant did Both Edward and Carlisle enter the room.

_It helps _she said her thoughts to him and because she'd her hand in mine I could hear that too.

"I see that" he responded looking a bit relived.

"What do you feel, dear?" Carlisle asked her.

_Tell them I feel fine, as long as you have your hands on me _she said and I flinched

_Baby that doesn't sound right…._

"I understand" Edward said and I felt a bit embarrassed. I saw how Edward told Carlisle everything and how Carlisle nodded in understanding.

Edward and Carlisle shared a look and Edward froze.

"But Carlisle …"

"It's the only way to let her rest, she said it herself"

"But…" he started and then stopped and sighed. " I think I still have the mattress" he finally said and left.

Seconds later he appeared with a mattress. He putted it next to Nessie's bed and went out again. Then he appeared with a mattress frame. He was putting a bed next to her.

"Now that you're the only thing that calms her can you at least be more comfortable" I saw that he'd a hard time saying those words to me. So I just nodded.

_What's going on? _Nessie asked. If she asked me or Edward didn't I know.

"I'm putting a bed to Jacob next to you" he said

_Oh _she said.

"I'll have to let you go" I said and saw how she stiffed

_NO!_

"It's just a minute" I told her and let her hand go.

She immediately started to shake, closing and opening her hands.

As fast as I could did I go to the other side of her. I sat on the bed and reached for her other arm.

"So sorry, baby. I'm so sorry"

_It's okay _she said more calm.

"I think we should let them both rest. Neither of them have slept tonight" Carlisle said to Edward and they left the room.

_Jake, lay down, relax._ She told me.

_I'm fine like this, thank you _I told her, assuring her that I was okay.

_No… but… I want you to hug me._

_Then you should've said so_

I laid down and moved closer to her. She tried to support herself with one elbow but collapsed and started to cry.

_Baby, don't move._ I told her calmly.

I carefully pulled closer and wrapped my arms around her, let them protect her from everything evil that was hunting her.

_I love you _she told me

_And I love you _I replied

_Huh… how would've though you where so addictive. _

_What?_

_Yeah, I mean, if it wasn't for you I would probably die of the pain. Who needs morphine when I've you?_

_I'm just happy you're not suffering anymore._

_Yes, ugh it's awful!_

_What happened to you?_

_I've no idea. I just remember waking up, feeling like my bones where being stretched out, it was torture!_

_Poor you, and you'd to stand with that for so long!_

_Yes, but it's all good now, or well mostly._

_Are you still in pain? _She nodded

_I'm sorry if I don't take it all away_

_Don't feel sorry, all the painkillers don't always work perfect._

_So I'm you pain killer?_

_Yes, my own and personal painkiller, you always make me feel better and I can always count on you. _

I heard now, even in her inner voice how tired she was.

_You should get some sleep. _I told her

_You too_

I felt her how she grabbed my arm and how she pulled herself even more closer to me now.

"I love you" I whispered to her "Sleep tight"

I relaxed myself. Feeling better. I had her in my arms, I was making her feel better. I loved her and she loved me. I couldn't ask for more besides that her pain would disappear completely.

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><p><strong> LAst but not least: HA DEN ÄRAN CALI! GRATTIS PÅ18-ÅRS DAGEN! (happy b-day cali, if you didnt understand, i don't know how similar swedish and Norweigan are, but i think it's a bit close;)<strong>

**AND TO THE REST: HAVE A GREAT DAY!**


	22. That's why I don't like doctors

**This is ch 22 of when eternity isn't enough=) and the last from Jake's POV tomorrow (or the next day i update) will be from Nessie's**

**DON'T FORGET TO COMENT BUT MOST OF ALL TO ENJOY;)**

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><p><em>That's why I don't like doctors<em>

I didn't dare to sleep. Even though she said she felt better, didn't she stop to shake. For some minutes was it like the pain was going to come back and she grabbed my hand and squeezed it hard, but it didn't do much. My hand was now shaped with hers. It fitted perfectly there, she'd left a trace.

When Edward showed up hadn't I slept at all. I was there like a guardian dog watching her.

"Bizarre comparison" he said relying my thought.

"Dog is Blondie's nick name to me, so…"

"She has… difficulties… with letting go"

"No way"

He chuckled and then turned serious. Oh, crap! "Don't worry, it's not you. It's just… it's hard to se her like this. And most of all, to not be able to do anything without hurting her. You know, Carlisle and the rest are a bit jealous of you" he said with a small smile.

"Of me? Why?" "Because you're the only one who can touch her without she screaming and twisting in pain"

"Oh"

He didn't say more. He just looked at Nessie, laying on her bed, her face sometimes changing to expressions of pain.

Edward was actually an okay guy. Calm, serene, never freaking out. Or well, not that I've seen. I think. I couldn't remember. But something I definitely saw was that he was suffering to.

"You cant imagine"

_Actually, I can_

"Right. Have she told you anything?" _About?_

"Why she's in pain" I saw that he wanted to change subject so I followed the lead.

"She…" I saw her flinch under me so I decided to reply him in my thoughts. _She say she feels like if her bones where being stretched out._

"hmm" Edward looked concerned.

_What's up?_

"Doing the math"

_Of?_

"Her age" _Well, you're daughter is seven… you know, just FYI_

"I know that. But how old is she, physically"

_Oh_ I said. _For me she looks like sixteen_

"I know, that's why it doesn't make any sense" he looked bewildered

_okaay _I said trying to avoid eye contact with this mystical person.

"You need anything?" he asked. That's a first.

"Eh… no thank you" I said and scratched my head.

"AH!" Renesmee suddenly exclaimed under me, I looked at my hand that no longer held her.

"I'm sorry!" I said and hugged her, but she kept screaming, I hugged her even more.

She stopped screaming but she was shaking and crying.

_Jake, my bones hurt! They hurt so much!_

"Carlisle!" Edward suddenly screamed and in a second he and Bella where there.

"What's happening?" Bella asked Jake with a worried voice.

"Carlisle, I think I know what it is…" was the first thing I heard, then I just saw his lips move and distinguished some words "… her bones might not…" he continued

"Maybe… But we can't say that…." Carlisle answered

"She's seven… wasn't she supposed…." Bella suddenly stepped in

"Yes" Carlisle said looking at her

"… a X-ray could show if… after all, what do we have to lose?" Edward replied. "Not much but…."

"Can someone tell me what the hell you're talking about?" I said tired of looking like and idiot.

"We think Renesmee is in the final spurt" Carlisle answered

"What final spurt?"

"What she has told you, about her hurting bones, it might be her bones developing really fast. You now the development of her physic might not consist with de development of her bones, which leads to a condition which alludes to the typical image of pain in the legs that usually occurs during the children's growing." Carlisle said in doctor.

"Can you now tell me that in plain English, please?"

"she's having growing pains, times 100" Edward said

"Was it that difficult to tell it right away?"

"We might have to do and X-ray on her, to see if we're in the right. But she can't so it because if you're not with her she starts to scream and she wont be able to lay still"

"Then let me do it with her" I said

"You sure?" Edward asked.

I looked at him _Hell, yeah_

I changed to this dresses you'd to wear in X-rays in the speed of light, trying to ignore Nessie's ear piercing screams. Every time she screamed meant a tear fighting its way out of my eye. But I had to stay strong. For her and for me.

I had totally lost control of the day, but it was dark so I guessed it was late afternoon, maybe dinner time. I remembered that I hadn't talked to my dad in more then twelve hours. He and the rest are probably worried, if they haven't already called, which I doubted.

I left the room where I'd dressed and walk through the hallway, half naked. Well that was how I felt.

I passed a room and someone whistled at me. It was Blondie's mate Emmett.

"I'll rip your head of later" I said giving him a threat full look.

He chuckled "We'll see"

I entered this room that looked more like a private hospital. It was big and clear.

Edward was waiting for me. I didn't hear anything.

"She just passed out" he said with a voice that I couldn't describe "We should hurry up before she wakes up" I nodded and went in. the room was dark and Nessie was lying on a stretcher, look lifeless. I shrugged at the though.

I went to the stretcher and realized how tiny that thing actually was. Then I saw the little cave both Ness and I where going to be putted in.

"You got to be kidding me!" I said as I looked at first Carlisle, than Edward.

"It's the easiest way to se what's really wrong with her" Carlisle said

_That's why I hate doctors _I thought

"I almost forgot" Edward suddenly said. "You've to wear this" he said handing me something that looked like an apron made of lead. It was heavy.

_And that's for…?_

" So that you don't appear in the X-rays, it prevents the radiation from go through…" "Never mind!" I said so that I wouldn't need to hear some more doctor language.

I putted the heavy apron on and lied next to Nessie, she woke up.

_Jake? _she said.

_Yes baby?_

_Don't let me go_

_Never_

" Are you ready?" Carlisle asked and I nodded.

_What are they going to do? _she asked, sounding scared

_They're going to do some X-rays, to see if the… well it has something to do with your bones _I said, a bit ashamed of that being the only answer I could give her.

She didn't say more, and neither did I. But after fifteen minutes was the tiny little x-ray booth beginning to feel claustrophobic.

"How long will we be in here?" I asked.

"Ten more minutes" Carlisle said.

I sighed loudly. I looked at Nessie how was breathing even and calm, with no pain.

I relaxed and focused on her breaths,. I didn't feel when I slipped away.

I woke up with some sunbeams hitting my face. Strangely. The sun was out. In Forks. I looked outside the window and judging from the position of the sun, it was the dawn breaking.

I stretched my arms but stiffened in the move. My arms were above me and not where they should be, around Nessie.

I turned my face to meet Renesmee's smiling, gorgeous face. The sun was hitting it, giving her smile and face a slight, magical sparkle. But her face wasn't the same. It was stronger, more mature in one way. It didn't have that playfulness it had have just days ago. But her eyes and smile where still the same.

I eyed her from her face down and suddenly realized the change.

"Holly crap!" I exclaimed quietly.

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><p><strong>Hope you liked this... dont hesitate on telling me what you think!<strong>

**Morgan Hill: hahaha...Love u! your coments ALWAYS makes my day! I'm glad you figured out**** the purpouse of my weird chapters;)**


	23. Changes

**Hey Guys! Well, i give you annother looongg chapter due, i didnt update yesterday and i probably wont update 2morrow due i have things to do:( That's why i give you this heck long chapter;) Please don't hate me!**

**This is now Nessies POV. Last chapter ended where jake sees Nessie's change, well this starts before Jake wakes up... Hope it's not to confusive**

**ENJOY AND COMENT!**

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><p><em>Changes<em>

I slowly stated to gain conscience again. Oh, no, not again! I didn't want to wake up, I didn't dare. I didn't want to wake up with that feeling of pain and torture, I didn't want to feel how my legs where pulled of my body, I didn't want it! I desperately tried to go back to the dark, restless cave that now was my sleep. That empty, black hole that protected me for the suffering.

But it was impossible to stay there. It was like I was floating up. I struggled to not, but in vain.

My eyelids suddenly became brighter and brighter, it was day. The day had never felt this threatening to me. I started to feel the sheets, sticky around my legs, but no pain.

I felt the humid pillow, salty with a mixture of tears and sweat, but I didn't feel like I was hitting myself with a brick.

I felt my entire body relying on the mattress, without feeling like I was laying on a mattress made of burning coal and glass. I felt nothing.

I slightly opened one eye, afraid of what might happen if I saw the light. I'd always been. Every time, before the pain came, was I filled with this calm feeling that said 'it's over'. But in that instant did the pain overcome me and I started to scream.

But not this time. I opened the other eye and looked at the wall in front of me. I was in grandpa's office, but when had they moved me here? I'd been in a darker room before. With…

I stiffened and my breath stopped. Where was Jake?

I heard his heartbeats and even breaths.

I wanted to see him.

I turned around just to see his neck and back against me. Not exactly what I was hoping for.

"Thank you, my Jake" I said looking at his back, reaching for his arm, but I was to far away. Well, so I thought.

My arms suddenly appeared in front of me, long and slender, different.

I bend a bit and managed to reach him. I saw my hands and fingers. They where different to.

But most surprising, I had no pain.

I removed the covers from me and saw that my entire body was different. It didn't look like yesterday. It looked stronger and a bit longer. But I also felt stronger. I laughed quietly for myself as I saw that I'd hips and my breasts where… well, formed.

I felt how Jake moved besides me and I looked at him once again.

I realized then, that I liked this.

The dawn was breaking, the lights shining through the window. Jake barely waking, I all tangled up in sheets and covers besides him. But what I wanted was to be tangled up in _him._

I watched him as I felt the changing of his breath, how he was waking up. I saw how he stretched his arms above him. His arms that where my shield, my protection.

I saw how he stiffened in the middle of the move and he slowly turned around.

He had been shadowing the sun. but now that he'd turned around, was the sun hitting my face. I smiled at him.

From his look did I see that he'd also seen my change. He eyed me and his expression turned surprised.

"Holy crap!" he whispered. I giggled.

"Good morning, baby" I said to him, putting my hand on his face.

_How… you… you're… you're in pain?_

_No, I'm not. Thank you._

_You look different_

_Do you like it? _I asked with a hint of worry. What if he didn't like the new me? What if I'd change on a way he didn't like?

_I'll always like you for who you are, Nessie, not for how you look. _he said, in some way answering my intern question.

"Renesmee, can I come in?" my mom's voice called from behind the closed door.

"Yeah mom" I said putting the covers over my body.

"Honey, how are you?" she asked carefully.

"I'm fine, I'm not in pain anymore. I'm just feeling… odd"

"Odd? How?"

I removed the covers and sat up on the stretcher that had been my bed for the past days. Jake followed my moves.

"Oh my…" mom said putting one hand on her face in surprise. Or was it in horror? I wasn't sure.

"I know" I said.

"Edward! Carlisle!" she screamed and then they where both there. They halt as soon as they entered the room, looking at me wide eyed.

"Renesmee?" my dad said examining me.

_Yes?_

"How do you feel dear?" Carlisle asked with some doctors authority and some grandpas concern.

"All in all, fine" I told him and stood up.

I felt that my bones where made of rubber and how they didn't carry me the way they should. I fell down to the floor but my dad managed to catch me before I could hit the floor.

_Thank you _I told him.

"You shouldn't be putting to much weight on your bones yet, they might not be as strong as the rest of you look" Grandpa said as my dad putted me back on the bed. I nodded.

Jake rose up and I saw my dads expression.

"You want to change?" he said. I turned to look at Jake and saw that he only was wearing this paper dress that the people in the hospital had. I giggled quietly at the look. "You look pretty good in that, though" I said.

"Thank you, and yes, please" Jake said looking at my dad.

"I'll tell Alice to get you some clothes"

"Why don't you just rip my head off right now, instead?"

My dad laughed quietly at Jake's statement and was out.

"Mom, I would like to change and shower too, I feel sticky" I said, feeling my jammies sticking everywhere.

"Of course, baby. You think we could use your bathroom, Carlisle? If she wants to change will I have to carry her, an I'm not sure I dare carry her all the way to the cottage"

"Of course, Bella. If you want, can she stay in our room over the night, just to be on the safe side and so that I can be close if anything happens"

"That sounds like a good idea"

Alice showed up and her face was like a kid on Christmas morning.

"Jacob, I've some fresh new cloths waiting for you. Oh, I've always wanted to see you in some _entire _jeans and a clean shirt! Ness, I've the most _gorgeous _outfitt for you lying on my bed! Have I mentioned that Missoni's new collection is absolutely…"

"Whoa, Alice! I really appreciate that you take care of me and don't let me look like a fashion disaster, but right now, I just feel to wear a new pj"

She sighed and I felt so sorry for her. "Fine, you can give me some designer sweats in bright pink and matching sweater" I said and her expression changed.

"Thank you!" she said running to me, putting a kiss on my cheek and dragging Jake out of the room with an expression of a kid who don't want to go to the dentist.. "You'll survive, I promise! " I called after them.

Mom carried me to grandpa and grandma's room. When I entered where the neutral colored room and it's creamed colored curtains and covers attacked by a matching pair of sweats and sweater in fuchsia. I rolled my eyes. Mom carried me to the bathroom and sat me on the edge of the bathtub as she got my clothes and I undressed. It wasn't embarrassing to get undress in front of mom, we had that kid of relationship. We knew each other.

She putted the clothes on a shelf near the toilet and then putted me inside the bathtub and reached me the shower.

"You can shower yourself, or do you want me to help.?"

"Eh… I think I can do it myself, but I might need help with my hair" I told her looking at my waist long hair.

"I'll be out here if you need me. I'm going to check if Jake's alive" she said with a smile. I nodded and she left.

The water was warm and comfortable. It gently touched by body and made me relax. Hopefully was this the last and _only _time I would need to go through something this painful.

I took a sponge and poured a lot of shower gel on it and started to massage my body with it. The smell of roses filled the bathroom.

When I was showering of the foam of my body did the water appear in a different color. Red.

I looked down and saw that I was bleeding. Shoot!

"Mom!" I screamed and she came in

"What is it…" she stopped.

"I think I got my period"

"I got that" she said "Eh… do you have any towels or tampons at home?" she asked.

" Yeah, in the cabinet in the bathroom, top shelf"

"Got it" she said.

I'd get used to get my period. In the beginning was it of course a bit embarrassing, due everybody knew about it. But know was I used to it.

"Esme, have you seen my…" Rosalie's voice appeared in the bathroom but she immediately stopped when she saw me.

"She's not here" I said trying to sound like if she being here didn't bother me, like if I didn't care.

"Oh, sorry." she was quiet for a while "Eh… How are you feeling?" she asked, trying too to not seem to care, but I saw she did. She always did.

"Better"

"You need any help?"

"No, thank you" I said avoiding her look all the time.

She didn't say more. And it hurt. It hurt to know that she didn't like me because she didn't like Jake. I wanted her to like me again, to be my auntie.

"You know I don't hate you, Renesmee" she finally said. I turned to meet her eyes "Just wanted you to know that" she said turning around.

"Rose!" I said after her. She turned around with a sparkle of hope in her eyes "You think you can help me clean my hair?"

"Of course" she said and walked to me and kneeled besides the bathtub "Which shampoo do you want? Rose or Freesias?"

"You choose" I said.

"Then Freesias" she said.

I turned my back towards her and laid my head on the edge of the tub as she massaged my head with the shampoo. Her touches where soft and gentle, calming.

We didn't speak a word.

She washed the shampoo of my hair and then reached a big white towel to me.

"Eh, can I have the brown instead?" I asked, afraid of staining the towel with blood.

"Okay, but take this to dry your hair" I took the towel and started to dry my hear. As I rubbed my head did my hands feel a bit soar. But that was probably because of what I'd been feeling before.

Mom came back with a package of towels.

"I thought a towel would be more comfortable for you to wear. Hi, Rosalie" she said trying to sound normal.

"Thanks mom" I said as I wrapped the towel around my hair and the other around y body.

She carried me out of the tub and sat me on the bed. Rosalie stayed in the background, near the wall. I started to put my panties with the towels on and then my bra. I realized that it was to small.

"Eh, mom. The bra is to small" I said

"What?" she asked

"Yeah"

"Well you'll have to be without then, because you, Alice and I had the same size"

"I might have one" Rosalie said quietly.

"You think I could borrow it?" I asked.

"Sure, let me look for it."

"Have you put down the hatchet?" mom asked when Rosalie left.

"I honestly don't know."

Rosalie came back with a white sports bra. "Here you go she said putting it on the bed, not giving it to me. Always looking down.

"Thank you" I said quietly and putted the bra on. It fitted.

I continued to dress and removed the towel from my head.

I tried to go to the bathroom to blow dry my hair but my legs once again where weak.

"I'll have to carry you, babe" mom said and carried me once again to the bathroom.

"I feel like a baby! How long will I have to stay like this?"

"We'll ask Carlisle later, okay?"

I nodded. I turned on the blow dryer and started to blow my hair. But after a while did my arms start to hurt.

"I'll have to cut my hair soon, it's painful to maintain" I said smiling to mom. "Can you help me?"

"Of course" she said and started to dry.

After she was ready was my hair completely straight and long. I saw Rosalie on the back of the room and gave mom a look. She blinked.

"I'll be back" she said and left the room.

I sat quiet looking at the mirror.

"Rose, can you braid my hair?"

"Mhm" she said and came to me "But isn't it your _mom_ that's supposed to do this for you?"

Oh, I'd cut deep with those words.

"I'm so sorry if I hurt you with what I said, Rose. I really am. You don't know how awful it feels to think that you don't like me"

"You don't have to feel sorry for anything. I'm the one who has to apologize. You where right. It's not my decision if you want to be with that do.. Jacob. It's yours, and only yours"

"Thank you" I told her.

As she finish the braid did I turn around to give her a hug.

"Well the x-rays showed what we thought" Dad told mom.

"The most extraordinary thing was that very single plate was different form the other we took, you where growing everything at once, which caused your pain."

"Ouch" Emmett said where he was relying on the door to the room.

"I'm just glad it's over. How long will I need to stay in bed?" I asked.

"Well, we'll do some tests tomorrow, to see if you can stand straight, but at least today, you wont be out of that bed" he said.

Crap.

My dad laughed at my expression.

"I'm a miracle maker" Alice said storming into the room

"What've you done _now?_" dad asked her.

"I introduce you to a new Jacob!" she said and starting to bounce around in the room.

Jake showed up with some full-lengths Levi's, a dark green shirt and a black blazer on. He looked amazing, beautiful.

"Wow" my mom said "I don't think I'd ever seen you like this"

"Me neither" dad said.

"Good job, Alice" Grandpa said.

"Yes, Jacob, you look stunning! Very handsome." Esme said.

"Thanks" he said a bit ashamed.

"Well, I think you looked better in the dress" Em said with a grin on his face.

"I just wish the smell disappeared with the good looking clothes" Rose said

"And I wish your brain cell would have more company" he answered her.

I rolled my eyes at them. "Here we go" I sighed.

The room started to laugh.

"You know" Alice stated "I think you guys actually like each other, you just don't admit it"

"And I thought that she was the blond" Jake said looking at Alice and pointing at Rosalie.

I laughed but then I felt my stomach cramp.

"Are you okay?" my dad asked concerned.

"Yeah I'm fine. I'm just having some menstrual pain" I said "Do you have any pain relief, grandma?" "Yes, I'll bring it to you"

"Thank you" I said and she was out.

"You having your period?" Emmett asked. If he'd asked that a year ago I would probably blush, but it wasn't that embarrassing anymore.

"Yeah" I said calmly

"Oh, c'mon! 'Yeah'? is that all I get? It was funnier when you blushed about it" he said annoyed.

"Well, Em, some of us grow up" I said.

"Men, where did time go?" he suddenly said.

"I know, right?" I said.

"Do you remember when Edward was supposed to explain to you what 'period' was?" he said and we started to laugh

"Oh my God, yes! Gosh that was so fun! Or when he tried to explain what sex and baby making was!"

"Yeah! His_ face! _I would give anything to be able to retrieve that moment!"

"Well, you have it right now" I told him and looked at dad that looked like if he wanted the earth to swallow him alive.

Emmett and I busted out laughing. And then I remembered what happened during my midnight tour around Forks the other day.

"Oh and you don't know what happened last night!" I said

"_Renesmee!" _My dad yelled

"What happened?"

I signaled to him to come to me and I grabbed his hand.

"What the hell!" he said and started to laugh. "You caught them in the middle of that?"

"Of what?" Rose asked

"Of _that"_ he replied.

"Of _that _that?" Alice exclaimed

"What the hell is _that?"_ Jacob asked

"Jake, of _that" _I said looking at him

"Oh… God! Oh…"

"My thoughts exactly!"

"Okay, can we change subject?" dad said

"Fine, what do you want to talk about father?" "How about you explain how you and Jacob can communicate through your thoughts?"

I looked at Jake who looked at me.

We where busted!

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><p><strong>Hope u liked it!<strong>

**Morgan: i _promise_ i'll answer your questions on the next chapter or if you have an account I'll send you a PM... if you already haven't understand them... i know how you like to figure thigs out;) **

**XOXO**


	24. Control

**Hey guys! 1st of all Sooooo sooooorryyyyy for the update abcense! i've not been on the best conditions, still aren't but i'm doing my best to keep you guys updated. Believe me, i HATE not updating because i feel that you guys don't deserve to wait for the chapters, ut believe me im doing my best...**

**so here you go with ch 24 of WEIE**

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><p><em>Control<em>

"Eh… er…. Ah…" he'd definitely caught me unguarded.

"Spit it out" he said not taking his eyes of me.

I peeked fast at Jake who seemed as surprised as I was about this. Inside my head was I praying that Jake wouldn't reveal us. I gave mom a quick look and then at Jake. She nodded and her eyes focused on Jake.

"We where in La Push, walking" I told my dad who didn't notice what my mom was doing. "I held Jake's hand and asked him something, and before he could reply, I heard his answer." I said showing him the memory of when I'd asked Jake how he was doing after all that happened between him and mom when we where at La Push.

Dad looked suspicious at me before turning to Jake

"Is it true, Jacob?"

I saw my mom flinch and removed the shield from Jake fast.

"Why wouldn't it?" he said with a cool voice.

"Just double checking" my dad said turning towards me but keeping his eyes on Jake.

"Nessie… I got the pain relief for you" grandma said clearing up the tension in the room.

"Thanks grandma" I said giving her a smile.

"Oh, and you've visit" she said smiling at the door.

"Hey, tiny" Seth said as he entered the room.

"Seth!" I said with a smile that spread all over my face. "How are you?"

"Just fine. Hello doctor Cullen" he said looking at grandpa

"Seth, call me Carlisle"

"Okay" Seth said with a childish smile.

"Would you like some food, Seth?" grandma asked.

"I would love to!" he said with a voice that made everyone laugh.

As my grandma made some food for us where people start to leave the room. The first one was Rosalie and short after where just my parents, Jake, Seth and I left in the room.

"So you're done growing?" Seth asked.

"Pretty much, yeah"

"That's good, I don't want you to look older than me" he said and I giggled.

I rook the pain relief and drank some water to wash it down and settled on the bed. I might as well get comfy now that I wasn't going to leave this bed. While my parents and the guys talked did my eyelids feel heavy and I closed my eyes

When I woke up was my throat aching. This was bad!

"Dad!" I screamed.

"What is it?" he said as he ran into the room.

"My throat hurts" I said putting my hands on my neck.

"What's-" Jake said as he entered the room.

I felt how my heart started to race, how my body stiffened to his scent. I felt my back crunch slightly. Seth came in and it just got worse. I felt some kind of roar rising from my throat. I saw my dad's scared expression, together with Jake and Seth's.

I jumped out of the bed and opened a window. I felt the cold air punch me in the face and I took a deep breath. I then felt how my legs avoid me and how I stumbled down the floor, dad was already there to lift me up.

"Jake, Seth, out now!" I told them, not turning around to see their faces. I was to ashamed.

"Do as she says" my dad mumbled quietly. "Bella, ask Carlisle if he has any blood supply" and I heard how my mom left the room.

I remained with my head outside the window. Ashamed. How could I do this? Guilt ran through me as I realized what just happened. I wanted to kill Jacob.

The tears streamed down my face and my dad took me in his embrace.

"It's okay" he said over and over.

_How could I do such thing? _I asked him

"It's understandable, you haven't hunt for moths. It's natural that you loose your control when there's blood near…"

_But, Jacob? How could I even think… I could've killed him, dad._

"But you didn't, that's the important thing. You're strong, Renesmee, just like your mother. I can't tell you how proud I am of you, not everyone has the strength to do what you just did."

"This is the last he had. He send Emmett and Japer to get some more" mom said while my dad lifted me and putted me on the bed. The tears kept streaming down my face as I took the glass from moms hand and drank the blood.

After the incident didn't I want to talk to anyone. My uncles had returned with more blood for me. I drank as much as I could bare. Afraid of risking anything.

Seth had left a while ago, of course he'd eaten first. But Jake was still there which didn't make everyone happy. Specially not Rose.

"Don't you understand she doesn't want to talk to you?" she said the fifth time she'd walked by the door. Apparently hadn't Jake moved. I could hear his heartbeat.

"And don't _you _understand that I wont leave until she speaks to me?"

I heard how Rosalie groaned and left.

"Jake" I said in a whisper.

The door opened and Jake stepped in. "How are you feeling, honey?" he asked. Could it be possible that he still cared about me after what I'd done?

"Not better" I replied being honest.

"Why so?" he asked and sat next to me.

I took his hand in mine and I showed him how sorry I was for my reaction. How the guilt was slowly eating me up from the inside and out. How I wondered why he wasn't angry at me and how he could give me a second chance.

_I'll always give you a second chance. Always. _His voice in my head made me flinch.

_Why? I mean… what if I hadn't managed to…_

_But you did, that's the important thing._

_Ugh! You sound like dad _I said and he laughed.

"I actually prefer to sound like your Jacob" he said.

I looked up at him.

"I'd almost forgot" I said "You look extremely hot in that outfit" I said dragging my hand along his arm and the black blazer "it suits you"

His body changed position, now facing me and his hands around my waist. "Well, thank you" he said in a low and very seductive voice which made my heart speed race.

I leaned forward but heard then someone's quiet complains.

_if you don't want to see this you either walk out our ask mom to block you. _I told my dad. Seconds after did the front door close. I waited for another three seconds before I gripped Jakes blazer and pulled him towards me.

_Ness, your dad-_

_He's gone _I said as I pressed my lips to his.

This time didn't I do what I'd done last time I kissed him. I controlled myself as much as I could. It was hard to not lose control around him, but in this particularly moment, didn't I trust myself completely.

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><p><strong>Hope u liked it... i did my best and i PROMISE that i'll do better<strong>

**next chapter is again from the X POV...UUUHHHH any guesses of who it might be? the next chapter has a big give-away so keep your eyes open**

**Love ya!**


	25. Starting

**FIRST OF ALL:**

**THANKS TO MY REVIEWERS! YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST!**

**Well this chapter is the X POV and remember that this isn't part of nessie's story..yet;) But it will all make sense at the end of the story... i hope:S**

**ENJOY AND COMMENT!**

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><p><em>Starting<em>

I entered the main plaza. He was sitting on his chair, looking stupid. I couldn't believe how I for so long had follow his orders. It didn't make sense. He had all the power in his hands and he just thought of it as 'spare time'. I remember when he first called me to join. He told me that together we'd be invisible, the entire universe would listen and obey _us_. And they all did. Until resent. Until those who threw away our power by doing something against the rules and managed to get thru with it appeared. We _were _invisible. Now our world has started to doubt us. I told him what I heard in the whispers, but he didn't listen.

And if that wasn't enough. He didn't allow me to be with my love. He told me I was _his_, like if he owned me. He said he did, but he'd never showed that side to me. Never. And when I found someone that I felt I belonged with, did he claim me as his. If it hadn't been so that I'd told him that my love didn't know about my feelings to him, would my love be long dead. He told me my love was forbidden, not allowed. And if _my _love was forbidden, neither should _their _love be allowed, if it wasn't that she was like us when we arrived, she would be dead.

They were lucky. Lucky he was on their side, lucky that he wanted them, lucky he loved one of them like his brother.

He'd started to become like them. Compassionate and forgiving. It wouldn't take long before he also changed his eyes.

"Dear" his voice echoed in the room as I stepped to him. I bowed slightly when I came to his presence. "You look worried by dear, is there anything on your mind?"

"I'm just thinking that the hunters have been away too long. Some of us are actually starting to think over killing each other" I lied to him. I didn't bother about the hunter he'd sent for some days ago, I just wanted to hear from my love. Wanted to know what he'd found.

"well dearest, don't let us get to worried, they'll return soon" he said with his- as he thought- smooth and scary smile. For me it was just stupid.

"They're here" the newest port guard told us. Everybody turned to see what was brought to us.

"Ah, my dear friends" he said rising from his chair "We're here to have a party, so please don't run away" he said as he launched himself to his first.

With a re-filled tank could I know think straight. It was past midnight and everyone where probably in their rooms.

Five minuets later did I hear a familiar noise.

"Love" I said turning around to run into his embrace.

"I've missed your touches, my loved one" he said as he pressed his lips on my head "how'd you been?"

"Missing you like never before" I whispered low.

"Then are we on the same boat" he said putting his thumb and forefinger on my chin while lifting it slow. "I missed you angelical, little face and lips" he said as he bent down for my lips. I pulled him into me and soon enough was I completely submerged by him.

We'd been quiet for a while before I even dared to ask him of what he'd discovered during his 'haunting trip'. but I was afraid. Maybe they'd changed, they might be more now. But I had to focus on that it was now or never.

"How is the situation" I said quiet but firmly, trying to hide my fear.

"We had luck" he answered me as quiet "they'd just come back to were they used to live. I'd been around the territory, but their scent was vague. Until some days ago. I heard they'd retaken their home. They'd moved because of the girl, I heard one of them say."

I flinched when he mentioned her "How is she? Is she the same as when we left?" I asked. If it all had been a lie, if their proof was a part of the plan, I wouldn't have to kill. And if I did, would it be for fun.

"No, she's not. She's a young woman now, not a baby" he said understanding my deception "But I did find something. I found out that she's in love"

I stiffened at his statement. Perfect! _She _could be in love too without someone interfering. "What do I care about that?" I said facing him.

He laughed quietly and kissed my lips "Because, she's in love with her monster protector" he said, still with his grin on the face.

I didn't understand. He gave me a disappointed look and then came closer to my head pressing his lips to my ear and whispered the one word that made my fly.

"The wer-" I screamed before he closed my mouth with his hand. We both stiffened, hearing steps. He flew out the way he'd come and I started to wave my coat around in the room to remove his smell and to strengthen mine.

"Are you okay?" the new port guard girl asked storming into my room.

"Excuse me?" I said angrily when my heart actually had started to beat again of the shock. "You know what happened to the port guard girl before you? She got her head of after entering my room without knocking!" I screamed.

The guard girl looked terrified and was shaking.

"Melissa!" a strong but soft voice said "Back to your post!"

"Yes, highness" the port girl- Melissa apparently- said running away.

I looked at Antheodora as she looked at me "Dear, what happened to you?"

I sighed and she closed the door. She could always see right through me.

"I'm upset" I said.

"I see that. But why are you upset, dear?"

I looked into her bright red eyes as she came to me and gave me a hug. I let her do that. I loved how she hugged me. How her motherly feeling towards me never ended, but increased over the years.

"Why is he so unfair?" I told her as she caressed my back softly. She knew who I was talking about-

"Why do you say that?"

"That… thing! That disgusting monstrosity is in love! With the guardian dog!" I screamed quietly into her chest.

"Hush, darling, don't scream" Antheodora slowly rocked me "Are you saying this because…"

"Yes!" I said before letting her speak "He don't want me to be with my love and we're the same! Now that thing is with the freak dog and it's okay!"

"Darling, he might not be aware of that"

"Does it matter? You think he would do anything? I don't think so! He's already given them a ' you don't need to go to prison' card that they can use as much as they want."

"But they wont be able to do it for longer."

I looked up at her smiling face.

"Your husband told you?" I asked and she nodded.

"May I say that I like your idea, although I don't think that's the entire truth. You don't want to kill him just because how he's ruling our world. You also want to get to…"

"Yes" I abruptly stopped her. "Now be quiet because we don't know who might me hearing" I hissed quietly.

She looked at me and caressed my face "Did I tell you that you look like my daughter?"

"No"

"Have I ever told you as I se _you _as my daughter"

"No"

"Well, you know it now" she said smiling and I smiled back.

That morning, while the sun was rising in our world was the night hitting theirs. And soon was their eternal night going to start, their eternity about to end. I smiled as I tasted the sweet taste of revenge.

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><p><strong>Any idea of who it might be...? <strong>

**Did you like it? if you did review!**


	26. Faking

**Hey guys! sorry for my abcense, have a lot going on right now. but here i am with a new chapter! hope you like it!**

**and BTW i'm impressed of your gussings to the X POV... some are close;)**

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><p><em>Faking<em>

_Somehow did I know I was asleep because it didn't feel real. I was submerged in this black hole, I didn't feel anything. I tried to move my arm but couldn't. I tried it over and over but nothing happened. In the back of my head did I remember that my bones didn't obey me, but I couldn't help the panic growing in my chest. Then a light hit me, burned me like oil. I managed to take a breath and push out… air. No sound, only air. Someone ran by me, grabbed my arm and pulled me away. I heard a beating heart so I knew it wasn't my parents. _'Run Nessie, run!' _the persons voice echoed in the hole that once again turned black…_

"Nessie?" a voice called me and I reacted.

I felt my heart pounding hard, risking to break my ribs. "Sweetie, are you okay?" Jake asked looking terrified.

I looked up from my sheets and saw that it was dark.

"What time is it?" I asked feeling confused when I saw the darkness, somehow it reminded me of my dream and I shrugged my head once.

"Eh… 8:30 I think. Why?"

"I've slept a lot" I said trying to sound calm.

"What happened to you? You where shaking and sweating…" "I had a bad dream" I said and shut my mouth showing him that I didn't want to talk anymore and he understood.

I laid down and dragged him with me. I put my head on his warm chest and took his arm around my waist.

_Love you _I told him.

_Love you too _his voice mumbling.

I felt how his body slowly relaxed and soon was he snoring. I giggled and decided to settle myself too.

When I once again woke up was it day. I sat up and saw Jake all spread out on the bed. I started to laugh but covered my mouth immediately. I looked for my cell phone and snapped a picture. He moved slightly in his sleep. I was just going to take another picture when he suddenly opened his eyes and grabbed the hand that was holding the phone.

He drag me down to him and wrapped himself around my entire body.

"You shouldn't have done that" he whispered into my neck, the warmth made me giggle.

Then he was all over me, tickling me. I laughed until tears were falling out of my eyes.

I felt first a bit afraid of how my bones would hold, but I couldn't just lay down while he tickled me to death.

I was with my back towards him so I pushed myself backwards, making me lay on top of him. I jumped up and landed on his stomach.

"OUCH!" a double vice said.

The first one was Jake's the other one was Emmett's.

"What are you doing here?" I asked sitting on top of a breath gasping Jacob.

"Just checking on ya'. Your dad might not be here, but that doesn't mean you can do whatever you want with him" Emmett gestured with his chin towards Jake "He told me to keep an eye on you"

"overprotecting vampire" I mumbled quietly.

Emmet chuckled "You kids want breakfast? Esme is doing scrambled eggs for you guys downstairs."

"Sounds good to me" Jake said sitting up so I fell of him.

"Hey!" Jake took me in his arms and carried me out of the bed and passed me on to Emmett

"Let me go, Em! I need to see me in the mirror before…Emmett!" I yelled when he started to run out of the bedroom.

"Think fast!" Emmett suddenly said. Before I knew was I in the air. He threw me from upstairs to the bottom floor where Jake was waiting for me to catch me. I heard a gasp and suddenly was I in Jake's arms.

"Honey, you okay?" Grandma said as she came towards me.

"Emmett, what the _hell_!" Rosalie hissed and slapped his head.

"Hey, she's okay!" he screamed back.

"Ness, honey, are you…"

"I'm fine" I said looking at everyone that now where around me.

"You should go and buy a new ball, Emmett" grandpa's voice said calmly "How are you feeling, Renesmee?"

"Okay"

"You can stand on your own?"

Jake tighten his grip around me but I looked at him.

Unwilling, did he let go of me but I wrapped one arm around his neck, just in case.

I putted one foot down and then the other, still hanging on Jacob's neck.

_Stay close _I told him as I loosened my grip.

My legs felt a bit hollow, like it they didn't have anything inside, but I could support myself. I let go of Jake's neck but held his arm tight.

"Good, you think you can walk to me without support?" grandpa was walking further back from me and I let go of Jake and started to walk.

The five feet I walk felt funny, like walking on a water filled mattress. But I handled to go to him.

"This is a good sign" he said as he grabbed me "You just need to walk more, you've been in bed for long, you've just to get used to stand, the hollow feeling will disappear"

I smiled at grandpa and heard Jake coming closer.

"Good job, baby" he said as he kissed the top of my head and wrapped his arms around my waist.

"Great! Now we'll have to burn the clothes or they'll smell like dog" Rosalie said annoyed.

"Aunt Rose…" I said looking at her.

"Fine" she rolled her eyes and went out. Esme laughed slightly "Breakfast's ready" she said walking to the kitchen.

We went to the kitchen hand in hand and I sat on the chair in front of Jake. He had a mountain of eggs, cereals, fruits and juice in front and so did I.

"Grandma, this I too much!" I exclaimed.

"It's what you need." she handled me a water bottle, but it wasn't water, it smelled like deer blood.

"Thanks" I said, although I preferred the wild blood instead of bottled, but I'd to deal with it so I wouldn't risk have Jake for lunch.

I drank the bottle of blood and whipped my mouth with the napkin. Jake kept eating like nothing had happened.

I remember when he'd told me he almost threw up when he saw my mom drink blood when I was feeding on her. I shook the thought away and focused on eating everything grandma had served me. Something I'd learn during seven years of life was that I shouldn't argue with Esme Cullen.

When I finished did Rosalie take me to the cottage where I showered and changed.

"Ah, it feels good to be in decent clothes" I said as I walked out of my room, my hair pulled to one side. I was wearing a jean and a dark blue, v cut satin shirt with short sleeves and some high heeled ankle boots.

"We need to go shop for more mature clothes for you, you don't look like a kid anymore" she turned me around and I looked at myself. "You look like Bella in so many ways" I smiled at her and we went back home.

"Holly crap!" Emmett was the first I expressing my little makeover.

"What?" I raised an eyebrow at him. He just shook his head and lifted his hands up in a sign of surrender.

"You look so grown up" grandma said where she was sitting on the couch on grandpa's lap. I smiled at her.

"When are my parents coming back, I have something to ask them"

"Not sure, but maybe in some hours"

I nodded and went out.

I went to the backyard and laid down on the grass, looking up at the clouds.

I heard footsteps and then was Jake laying next to me.

"I honestly thought you were Bella from far away, you are just like her."

"You think so?"

"Yeah"

I took his hand.

_I'm going to ask them if I can go to school here _he stiffened when I said it.

_Why?_

_Because I'm bored, Jake! I've been here for more that a week and I haven't any friends, I don't know this tiny city, damn, I don't know where the grocery store is!_

He chuckled but turned serious _You know that if you start school you'll have to go alone?_

_Yes_

_And that you'll have to go under an alias?_

_Ye… no _

He smiled _you didn't think you could go there and say 'I'm Renesmee Cullen' did you? you know you're parents and all the Cullen's are famous around here. They just think Carlisle is here on a short visit, to get away from the big city and that some of your uncles and aunts are on a short visit._

_I guess you're right_ I sighed and looked at him.

"So what are you going to do?"

I looked up to the sky, looking for memories. I knew I had an alias, something just in case. It was something with Wolf…

"Got it!" I said and raised up and ran to the cottage. He ran after me.

I entered my parent room and went to moms walk-in closet.

"Jake, help me" I said and I climbed up on his back. I found what I was looking for.

It was a brown bag that had belong to me, the one I'd wore on the day when they wanted to kill me…

I jumped down and went to my parents bed.

I turned the bag around and emptied it's contains.

Passport, birth certificates, a license and a lot of money where in there. I looked at the passport.

"Vanessa Wolf" I whispered as I looked at the picture of me.

"Whoa! That's the bag you wore when… you where carrying _that _amount of money that day? Why?"

I couldn't speak so I gave him his passport, license and plane tickets.

"She was sending us away" he said as he sat down next to me. "But why now? What are you planning?"

I didn't answer but took my phone out and left the room to call Alice.

"What's up?" I made sure to talk quiet

"Mom and dad are with you?"

"No they're not, why?" "You can keep a secret from dad, like hide your thoughts?" "Yes, but, why would I do that?" she started to sound suspicious so I'd to tell her fast.

"I need the number to the guy who made my fake alias when mom wanted to save me from the Volturi"

I heard her gasp slightly "Why do you want it? Renesmee what are you…" "Calm down, please!" I hissed " I'm not planning on doing anything, okay, I Just want to fix it, you know. I look way older now and I'm probably going to need an ID when I go to the store or the bank and a new passport if we decide to, I don't know, go somewhere" I hid my lie from her as much as I could with the truth.

"But why now?" she still didn't believe me.

"I told you, just in case. And I want to learn how to do it. I want to show my parents that I can survive on my own. And, well, so they don't have to worry about it"

We remained silent a vampire eternity, which was about five seconds.

"Well, that guy is dead, but we've a new one that does that and he's a bit more expensive, I'll text you his number and address. You've money?"

I looked into the bedroom "Yes"

"OK,"

"How long does it take to get the things?"

"He'll probably do it in some hours or so, he's fast and good."

"Okay"

"You've a ride there?"

"Kind of"

"Company?"

"Yes, Alice, just send me the address!"

"Fine, but if your dad gets mad tell him you looked up for him on Google or something, okay?"

"Yeah, thank you. I really want to show them they can trust me"

"No problem. And Ness…"

"What?" "Tell the guy you're the niece of Jasper Cullen"

"Niece of Jasper Cullen, got it!"

"Take care!"

"I will"

I hung up and went back to Jake.

"Who did you talk to?"

"Just asked Alice some things" in that instant did her text arrive and I opened it.

_Mr. Stanly Morris_

_9893 Overstreet, Seattle_

_055-675543_

"You think your car can take us to Seattle in less than an hour?" Jake looked at me and laughed.

"Baby, I practically made the car myself, it's not a Ferrari like your mom's. if you want to get to Seattle will we get there in three hours or so"

I sighed heavy and rolled my eyes "You've anything faster?"

"I've two motorbikes that are way faster" "Great! Let's take them!"

"Nu-huh I'm not taking you to Seattle in a motorbike on your own"

I knew _that _but it would be a great excuse to have them borrowing me a car.

"Fine, then I'll ride with you"

"Why are you even going to Seattle?" "I need to fix some things. You know what, go to your place and get the bike and I see you in a few. Oh and put the clothes that Alice gave you yesterday"

He looked at me "I know you're not telling me everything we're going to do and it bothers me, but you are Bella's daughter and I know that you, just like her, wont tell me what really is going on so I'll just go and do what you told me to. Oh and pray"

I walked to him and gave him a kiss.

_That's my Jake_

_But why Pixie's outfit? _he wined

_Because I love how you look with it_

_Fine _he said cutting of our kiss. He pulled me away and I remained with bulging lips.

"I hate you!" I screamed after him. He turn to smile at me and walked away.

I closed the door and called the number that Alice had given me.

_Morris _a young voice said.

"Hello" I said quietly but took a deep breath, I need to sound adult and mature "My Name is Renesmee Cullen, the niece to Mr. Jasper Cullen. I call you because I need your services" I said quickly.

"Oh, Mr. Jasper?" he swallowed loudly "His Niece you said? Well, what can I offer you Miss Cullen?"

My heart jumped a bit when he said 'Miss'

"I would need a fake ID and a new passport" "To when?" "As soon as possible"

"Well, I am pretty busy." he started to sound more relaxed "I think maybe tomorrow?" something told me this guy was taking advantage so I played the same game.

"You see, I really need them today so that I personally could pick them up, but if it is tomorrow I'll send my uncle to pick them up. He wont be happy though. He told me I would have these things the day I asked for them, and well, he don't like to have wrong…"

I heard how the man stiffened on the other side of the phone "Well" he said with a broken voice "I think I could take this as a priority. You could give me your information right now and when you come and pick them out later the only thing that will be needed is a photograph"

"Excellent" I said smiling to myself. "I'm going to need two ID:s, two passports and two licenses"

"All right, start with your information. Name?"

"Vanessa Wolf"

"Age?"

I looked in the mirror. I looked like eighteen but with some more make up and other cloths was I sure I could look older so I added some years.

"21"

"Length?" "5'5" "

"Eye color?" "Brown"

"Okay now the other persons information"

I gave him Jake's information but changed his first name to Jason and kept Black as a last name.

"One question Miss. Should I put you as husband and wife?"

I stiffened.

"Well, actually he's just my… fiancé."

"Okay . Well then I contact you when this is ready"

"Great. Thank you"

"My pleasure" the man said, I doubt it.

I hung up and went to the clossed. This was done. Now, how'd I convince the family to let me go to Seattle with Jake, on his motor bike, without revealing anything?

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><p><strong>Hope you liked it and please review!<strong>

**LOVE YA!**


	27. Proving

**HEY GUYS! didn't update yesterday, and well, sorry... and I probably wont update until Saturday (Maybe) school is beeing a disaster right now w/ exams and stuff and i HATE to no update, but school needs to come first...**

**ANYWAY... here you have ch 27... and THANKS FOR YOUR REVIEWS AND SUPPORT!**

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><p><em>Proving <em>

"Ness, you still there?" Jake entered the house and whistle when he saw me. "You look good" he said.

"No _you _look good. _I _on the other hand feel cheap" I said looking at my short tub skirt, high heels, and tight, red deep cut satin shirt, all belonging to mom. Which she never wore.

"You don't. But wont it be tricky to ride the motorbike wearing that?"

I sighed and gave him a big kiss.

_Thank you!_

_What for?_

_For giving me one good reason _not _to wear this _I said and pulled away. I took instead some tight, black pants and high boots.

"This is the bike?" I asked as I went out the house.

"Mhm… you know how to drive"

"Nope, but isn't it like biking?"

"Well, kind of… Renesmee!" he yelled realizing I had already turned on the bike.

I pulled the gas and the bike went of. My heart skipped some beats but I managed to control the vehicle. I did some laps around the house and parked then smoothly in front of him.

"Damn!" he said as I climbed of it. "Don't ever do that again! You almost killed me!" he exclaimed and I looked at him innocently.

"Sorry" I looked at him and he relaxed a bit.

He sighed and looked at me "I know I shouldn't say this, but you looked hot driving the bike" I smiled and went to him and he locked his hands around my waist.

"Then I can't wait to see you driving it" I whispered before kissing him.

"Why the dress up?" mom asked.

They were here earlier than I thought.

"Just wanted to try something new" I shrugged and walked around in the kitchen. we were all in the main house

"Well, she owns it" aunt Rose winked at me and I blew a kiss at her.

Dad came in with Emmett and Jasper.

_Can I go to Seattle with Jake? _I asked in my thoughts.

"Why?" he said quiet.

_It's a surprise_

"Then can't you go with me?"

"don't you listen? I said it is a surprise"

"Cut the attitude, Ness"

"What attitude?" I said a bit more louder.

What was wrong with him? He'd been pissed since he came home and walked around with his 'annoyed face'

"Don't talk back to me!"

"But… what?…. Mom!" I wined looking at her.

"Edward, what's wrong with you?"

"Your daughter knows very well why" he said angry.

"Me? I come here, all calm and then you come with your bad mood. It's not my fault you'd a bad day!"

"If I have a bad day and a bad mood is it because I heard my daughter is hiding things from me" he hissed.

I froze, avoiding to think of my plans. The rest of the family that where in the kitchen froze, Jake looked at both of us and then mom.

"What?"

"You heard me. I don't know what you're planning, but whatever it is, quit it now."

"Why? Because you said so? Dad, I'm not a kid anymore and I want to give all of you guys a surprise, why do you have to make such a big deal out of it?"

"Because I want to know what you're doing. And you for your information, are you just seven."

"Dad, please, stop that! You know that the actual age has nothing to do with my maturity."

"Anyway are you to young to walk around there with your boyfriend. Damn it, you shouldn't even have a boyfriend!"

"Really dad? Are you playing that card now?" Pathetic.

"Renesmee Carlie!"

"What?"

We stared at each other. I hadn't raised my voice at him since that other night when I'd the flashback of when we left.

Why couldn't he just believe me? Had Alice said anything about…

"Alice?" he asked and turned around. "Do you know what she's planning?"

Alice looked terrified at me.

"No. no one know what I'm planning, not even Jake" I responded but he cut me off.

"You stay quiet and don't talk until I tell you to!"

The fury entered me and I looked towards Jake. He was in shock just as everybody else. In front of him were the motorbike keys.

I didn't think. I just grabbed tight to my purse and ran as fast as I could to the table and grabbed the keys. It went so fast. No one understood what I was doing before I found myself on the bike racing down the driveway to the road.

From far away I heard Edward screaming my name together with threats, I think I also heard moms calming words to him.

As far that I came from the house, the voices faded.

When I came to Seattle did I park the bike and took my phone out of my pocket. I had about 20 missed calls and many more messages.

Most of the calls were dad's and those didn't I bother listen to. I had five calls from Jake and two from mom. I decided to call mom.

_Renesmee?_

"Hi, mom"

_Are you okay?_

"Yes"

_where are you?_

"I'm not far, I'm just going to do what I was planning. Tell… Edward… to not pressure Jake because he knows as much as you do. And… will you please keep your shield around Alice? She doesn't know anything either, but she might have a hint that doesn't need to be the truth, but I don't want Edward to go on her."

Mom sighed _Okay._

"Are you mad?" I asked after a long silence

_Not yet. But do I found out you went and… I don't know… went to a motocross race with the bike will I kill both you and Jacob…_

I couldn't help but giggle "No mom. No motocross, promise"

_Good._

"Is Edward there?"

_No, your _dad _went out to kill some trees. But he'll be back. Want me to tell him something?_

That I'm okay? That I hate how overprotecting he is? That it's his fault that I… "No"

_Okay. Take care._

"I will" I said and hung up.

I looked once again at the phone and decided to text Jake.

_Hi! I'm okay. Sorry if I got you in trouble. I'll take care of the bike, I promise. Please don't be mad at me, this is just something I have to do. Love you: Nessie._

I send the text. While checking the inbox did I see a text from Mr. Morris.

My hands started to shake and I opened the text.

_Miss Cullen. Your order is ready. Please meet me for a short dinner at the Grand Hotel Restaurant today at 6 o'clock. I will be there with your order. The reservation is under my name. Bring the money. Have a great afternoon and we'll see each other at six._

_Stanly Morris_

I looked at the clock. Three. I had three hours until meeting him on a fancy restaurant. I couldn't wear pants. I knew I had enough money to buy me some nice dress before meeting up with him.

I started to walk. Not sure where but I looked for some shopping centers. Did they have D&G here?

After some walking did I find some designer stores. You could se it was a fancy area. I entered multiple shops before deciding me for a marine blue knee high dress and some black Jimmy Choo stilettos and matcehing clutch. It wasn't cold, but any normal person would probably wear a coat during the evening so I bought a black coat same length as the dress. I paid with money so I didn't have to give any ID. Which I was thankful for.

I still had time. I walked to the hotel were we were supposed to meet, so that I could change.

On my way did I pass by a hair salon. I hesitated a bit. Was I sure that I wanted to do this?

I wanted to go to school, but my resemblance to my mom was huge, not to mention I had the 'Cullen beauty'. I stayed outside the salon for some minutes before deciding to enter.

"Hello, how may I help you?" the young lady behind the pay desk asked me.

"Er… I would like to cut my hair and maybe dye it" I froze at what I just had said. Dye? I'd _never _though about dying it.

"But you have so pretty hair!" the lady said.

"Yeah, but it makes me look so little. I want something more mature. Besides, is it hard to maintain"

She looked at me "I guess. Follow me then" I followed her as she took me to an empty seat. I dropped my shopping bags and sat down.

The lady left and brought some magazines for me. Short after did a man walk to me.

"She wants to cut and dye, look more mature" the woman 'whispered' to the guy.

The guy looked like a normal hairdresser, nice and comprehensive.

"We can fix that!" he said excited "How short and which color?"

I hesitated before answering "As you please" I said with an attempt to smile.

"Okay then" he took out the scissors and started to measure my hair.

"You have such a beautiful hair" he said after a while "Why the change?"

"Well, mostly because I want to show some people that I'm not a kid anymore"

"How old are you?" he asked me.

"Guess" I replied.

"Not more than twenty. So 17-19"

"Good guess" I said smiling. This was a good sign.

I was with my back to the mirror so I didn't see what he was doing, but I trusted him.

As he continued to cut and color, did I suddenly start to tell him about the argument with my dad, how sick and tired I was of him always overprotecting me. The guy just nodded and uhu-ed.

"There, all done!" he said and turned me around.

My waist long hair was now to my chest with big curls on the ends. And it was black!

"Oh my!" I said "It's amazing!"

"You look gorgeous!" the lady that had attended me earlier said.

"Thank you so much!" I told the guy- Sebastian- and gave him a hug.

I paid and left. I had thirty minuets to get to the hotels plus 20 for being fashionably late, as Alice always told me.

In my way did I remember that I hadn't the photos Mr. Morris had asked me for.

I was lucky to find a photo booth on the way to the hotel. I snapped some pictures and went to the Grand Hotel. I checked in a room and went to change.

In the room did I open the bags with clothes and make up and started to fix me. I grabbed my pictures and took ones I'd stolen from Jake while he was searching for the bikes.

I left the room at 18:05, it would be enough.

In the elevator was there a young man, about twenty five, that couldn't stop staring. I felt like laughing. If he only knew!

"Hi, I'm Justin" he said smiling.

"Renesmee" I said quickly.

"Wonderful name to a wonderful girl. Do this girl have a boy?"

I started to feel a bit uncomfortable. As I was about to answer did the phone ring. I sighed when I saw Jake's name on the display.

"Hey, baby!" I said and felt the man breath next to me.

_Ness, where are you?_

"I'm just going to have something to eat and I'll be on my way home" I said.

_What the hell was all that about? Take the bike? What where you thinking?_

"I know, I'm sorry! It's just… hard to explain, I'll tell you as soon as I get home"

_Okay, be safe, and call me when you are on your way back home._

"I will" I said and squinted at the man who was looking awkward "Love you"

_Love you too._

We came to the bottom floor and I walked quickly out of the elevator and went to the restaurant.

"Stanly Morris?" I asked and the hostess led me to a table on the very corner of the restaurant.

"Miss Cullen!" I heard Morris "Wow, you look amazing! Just like your uncle!" the man wasn't taller than me, but he was muscular and wore an elegant suit.

"Thank you" I said shyly.

"Please take a seat" he said and pulled out the chair for me. "So how's your uncle?"

"He's fine, thank you" the man smiled and I smiled back.

"That's good." he looked at me.

We ordered our food and drinks. He insisted on wine, but I just took a glass of water. If running away as I just did wouldn't give Edward enough reasons to kill me, would the smell of wine definitely give him that.

"I would need the photos" he said after our food arrived.

"Of course" I took my clutch and handed him the photos.

"Perfect!" He took them and left "I'll be right back" he said and left.

He was back after ten minutes with a black portfolio. He opened it and took out a big envelope and took out it's content.

"Here are yours" he said and gave me my ID, passport and license. "And here are your friends" he said handing me Jake's documents.

I didn't know much about fake certificates, but I knew this didn't _look_ fake .

"Perfect!" I said with a smile "How much will it be?"

"Well," he started " 500 for each passport and ID and 200 for each license."

I had that. I gave him the money and he counted it. "There's too much…"

"It's for the dinner" I said quickly "Thank you for this, and I hope we can do more business in the future" I told him as I extended my hand towards him.

"No, Miss, the pleasure is on my side" he said and shook my hand.

"Goodbye, then" I said and left the restaurant.

I went to the room, grabbed my stuff and checked out. It would be a hell of a challenge to drive the bike with the dress, but I couldn't bother to change, I just wanted to get home and wait for my death.

On my way to the garage where I left the bike did I call mom.

"I'm on my way home" I said

_Thank God! _

"How's Edward?"

_Calmer, but very upset._

"Well, tell him that I'm on my way. I'll be home soon"

_Drive safe!_

"I will" I said before hanging up.

The good thing was that he was calmer. The bad thing was that I was coming home on a motorbike, with a short dress and high heels _and _short _black _hair. Now, I whish vampires could sleep.

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><p><strong>What did you think? Please review!'<strong>

**see ya soon!**


	28. Unaccepted

**Managed to update... hope you like it! **

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><p>Unaccepted<p>

As I came closer to the Forks did my heart pound harder than ever before. What was I supposed to say? What should I do if Edward freaked out? Would he freak out?

When I saw the Forks welcome sign did I hold my breath. This was it. Tonight would be my dead.

I didn't want to reveal anything to Edward through my thoughts, so I started to solve an equation as I came closer to the drive way.

_Sara can call to the USA from her cell phone. The cost of the call can be described this way: C=9.95+1.6x, where C is the cost and x is the amount of minutes. How long can Sara talk for $20? _

"What is she doing?" I heard Edward say. I didn't think about it, I just kept solving the equation.

I kept the helmet on. One, so they could see that I wore a helmet. And second, to hide my hair for now.

I went up the stairs to the front door, took a deep breath, and opened the door.

The entire family was in the bottom floor. Jasper, Alice and Rosalie were on the couch. Emmett on the floor. My grandparents where by the piano and mom and Edward where by the stairs.

Edward sighed "I wont rip your head off"

_Just to be careful, and to show you that I'm not irresponsible, I wear helmet._

He smiled slightly but turned serious. I'd have to deal with it sooner or later, so…

I took of the helmet and my hair fell. As soon as it was out did everyone gasp and an awkward silence invaded the room.

I looked at my grandparents surprised faces, my uncles confusion, like they didn't understand what was new with me. I saw my aunts big eyes, eying me to see how good or bad this look looked on me. And last but not least, my parents.

Mom looked cool, she was just happy to see that I was okay. Edward on the other hand looked, angry, confused, surprised, terrified and a lot of things more at the same time.

"What… you… how… when…Renesmee!" he started and then froze "Alice, say that out loud and I'll never let you talk to her again!" he hissed towards poor Alice who glared at him. She'd probably thought something good, like that the hairstyle suit me or something. Edward just looked at me.

"I can…" I started before he cut me off.

"How could you? What have you done with your hair? And your clothes? Where have you been? Do you know how worried we've been?…" He kept yelling all this stuff to me but I kept quiet. I looked around the room, Jake wasn't there anymore.

I cut him off "I'll answer everything if you keep quiet and let me explain all of it" I looked at him. He nodded.

"Well, I'm gonna tell you the truth. I'm bored. I have nothing to do, I don't have friends and it's killing me. I want to go to school and meet people, but while thinking it thru, did I realize it wasn't as simple as I thought." I started to explain them everything of the alias, the haircut and everything else. Which wasn't the best thing to do.

Edward's face turned hard and his hands turned into fists. Oh boy…

"What the hell where you thinking? Go to Seattle and get a fake ID all alone?"

"I wanted to prove you that I can take care of myself"

"But honey" mom interfered "that isn't something you should be doing. When we move we'll take care of all that"

"But, I already had one, the one you gave me" she looked at me. "I kept that alias, Vanessa Wolf. I just changed some dates, nothing more"

"Anyway, that doesn't give you the right to do as you please! As long as you live under my roof will you obey my rules"

"Well, this is actually Grandpa's house…"

"Don't talk back at me!"

"I'll stop talking back when you stop being so freaking overprotecting!"

I lost it, I couldn't take more.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me"

"Renesmee Carlie!"

"I know my name!"

He stepped closer to me. Mom grabbed his arm but he shook it of.

"Don't you ever talk back to me like that again, did you hear me?" he yelled, pointing at me and taking one step closer to me for every word. I just looked at him, not flinching at his threat.

He sighed loudly "How I wish…" he shook his head and turned around.

He wished. And I knew exactly what he was wishing for.

"How you wish I didn't exist?" my statement made him turn around

"or, how you wish I'd stay the same? I don't think you're the only one wishing that" I said looking around at the surprised faces of my family. "I think you all wish I'd never grown up. Admit it. Admit that you all wish I was like a normal child" my voice was getting louder " how you wish I was seven. I'm sorry if I'm not the kid you where expecting" I eyed everyone "I'm sorry if I'm not the perfect little girl you wish I was." I turned to look at my grandparents "Grandpa, I'm sorry if I'm not the little girl who asked you why we have night and day. Grandma, I'm sorry if I never asked you to sing a song to me"

My grandparents looked at me with sorrow, grandma would've cried.

"Aunt Alice, I'm sorry if I'm not the little girl who asked you to play dress up with her. Rose" my voice broke "I'm sorry if I never asked you 'auntie Rose, can you teach me how to put make up on? I want to be exactly like you'"

I looked my uncles in the eyes "Sorry if I never wrestled with you, Em. Or if I never said 'uncle Jazz, let's get Emmett on his nerves'"

They both looked at me with sad faces I'd never seen them with.

"Mom" I said with tears fighting their way out "I'm sorry if I never asked you to tuck e in enough times, or asked you to play with me." her face was filled with pain "I'm sorry if I never asked you to tell me a fairytale, or never asked you to teach me how to play the piano" I said looking at Edward who had clossed his eyes and was sobbing lightly.

"I'm sorry if I never told all of you how much I love you enough times. But this is who I am. I wish I could be the little girl you all want, I'm sorry I cant give you that"

"Renesmee…" mom said with a broken voice "you're more than I could ever ask for" she said touching my cheek "more than I deserve"

"Then why don't you let me make you proud?"

Edward opened his eyes and looked at me "Because, you're only…"

"If you say 'seven' or 'too young' I swear I'm out of here" I said, tears rolling down my cheeks.

"And where were you planning to leave? To Jacob?" he said coldly.

_Why not?_

"Because I don't want you to be around him yet!"

"who said ?" I laughed without amusement "The old man who practically married his lunch!" I said looking at him straight in the eyes. "You're the least appropriate to tell me that"

"I am your father!" he screamed.

"Then start acting like that and not like a damn overprotecting jail guard! Understand me, that's all I ask for!" I screamed back.

The only thing that sounded was my heartbeat. The thing that distinguished me from the rest.

I looked around "Sorry I don't fit in this perfect little world of yours" I spit the words out and turned around and slammed the door behind me. I heard how the windows shook.

In less then a second was I on Jakes motorbike. The tears were streaming down but I could still see.

I drove the whole way to the reservation and knocked fiercely on the Black's door.

"Renesmee?" Rachael said surprised "Sweat heart, what's wrong?" she said taking my hand.

"Is…Ja-ake here?" I said in my sobs.

He'd heard me and was on his way out of his room "Nessie, what happened?" he asked.

I didn't reply I just ran into his open arms and cried. My entire body was shaking, the tears wetting his bare chest, my fingers leaving marks on his arms. I was being ripped apart from the inside out. For now I could only cry.

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><p><strong>I know this wasnt very good but i still want to know what you think!<strong>


	29. Disstracted

**Sorry guys for my abcense! i feel sooooo baaaaddd! i havent been able to sleep the entire weekend! Well, I'm here with an uppdate but then again there will be a break this weekend... so sorry for that! But good news are that we're done with all the exams in school so i'll have more time over to write! **

**I might not update tomorrow due I'm going on a trip with my class and wont be able to update the next chapter... or maybe i can... we'll see...**

**But for now... ENJOY!**

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><p><em>Distracted<em>

I showed Jake everything that had happened before. I showed him everything I'd said, everything he'd said.

We were sitting in the living room. Billy and Rachael were there too. Jake told them everything I was telling him, he was my voice now.

I was sitting on his lap, my head relying on his shoulders and my hand against his warm chest. He had his arms around me and was rocking me gently. My sobs had turned to silent tears. Tears that streamed down without a sound. When I'd finished showing Jake what had happened was the room silent.

Billy was the one to break the silence.

"Well, it's a sad story you're telling me, Renesmee" his deep voice filled the room. "But there's not much we can do now. Will you go back?" I shook my head against Jake's shoulders but he was already answering for me.

"No way! I wont let her return if she'll suffer. Didn't you hear what she just said?"

"Yes, Jacob, I did. But there's nothing we can do, this is between you and your family" Billy said looking at me "The only thing I can offer you is my humble home"´

"Yes! You can sleep with me, honey" Rachael replied immediately.

_Tell her thanks _I said looking at Jake.

"She says thanks" Jake spoke with a hard voice.

I sat up and Jacob followed my moves but stopped halfway up when Billy spoke.

"Jake, we need to talk" Jake stared at Billy and Billy stared back. They where having an inside argument, something I didn't understand. When Jake finally gave in with a sigh, did I know Billy had won.

"C'mon sweetie, let's go" Rachael put her arm around my shoulder and led me to the room.

"I'm sorry that this is all I can offer you" Rachael said while giving me some black sweats and an old, washed out tank top.

"It's okay" I mumbled looking down.

I undressed and put the clothes she'd giving me.

"So, all of this for cutting your hair?" Rachael said with a slight smile.

I sighed "I wish". and I really did. I really wished that was the only thing that had happened that night, that my hair was the only problem. But it wasn't my hair. It was me. _I _was the big problem here.

"Can I have a glass of water?" I asked Rachael before I would start crying again.

"Of course, sweetie" she said and left the room, leaving the door open.

"She can't and I wont let her go back" Jake hissed from the living room.

"But what if they're looking for her? What if they call the police? If they call Charlie?" Billy fought back. Jake didn't say more but I could vaguely hear his heart that was beating hard and fast.

"I'm gonna call Sam so they don't freak out if they catch a scent" Billy said leaving Jacob alone in the living room.

"Here you go" Rachael said giving me the glass. I took it and drank everything at once. "lay down and sleep. Tomorrow will be a new day and you'll see that everything is going to be okay" she said smiling.

"I hope you're right" I said quietly as Rachael turned the lights of and I was surrounded by darkness.

I woke up and it was dark. The big, red numbers of the digital clock showed that it was some minutes pass midnight. I hadn't slept a lot.

I heard Rachael's quiet and even breaths from across the room where she was laying on a pull out bed.

I sat up on the bed and listened to the silence. It was so silent. No wind, no leafs dancing, just silence.

My thoughts were a mess inside my head. What should I do now? Should I stay? Should I leave? Should I check in on a hotel?

But something I was completely sure of was that I wouldn't go back. Not now, not yet. I need to think things thru carefully. The last thing I wanted was that the peace that had been between the family's would remain. But my 'family' wouldn't show up here. After we'd left where the treaty lines put up again, in case some new ones arrived.

I had to much in mind to go back to sleep. I needed to distract me.

I rose up and tiptoed carefully to the hallway.

I was in the far right of the house and I had to walk through the hallway to go to Jakes room. Quietly did I go pass Billy's room, I listened carefully to hear if they where any changes in Billy's sleep but his breaths remained regular.

When I came to Jake's door did I open it carefully, but even before seeing him, did I know he wasn't as calm as the rest. His breaths were uneven, and his sheets were all over the place. He was restless.

I walked closer to him, his hands gripping the pillow that looked to be ripped apart soon. The moon was sending its light through Jakes tiny window, showing his bare chest. My heart started to flutter, but I ignored it.

"Jake" I whispered putting one hand on his cheek. He mumbled something in his sleep. _Baby, wake up _

He opened his eyes and flinched a bit when he saw me "Ness? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. I can't sleep" I told Jake. "Can I stay in here?"

"Of… Of course" he said a bit sleepy. He sat up leaning against the wall and I crept up close to him. I laid my head against his chest and he wrapped his arms around me and kissed my head.

_I don't know what to do _I told him, tears fighting their way up _I wont return, but I don't know where to go._

_You'll stay here _Jake said firmly _I'll make sure you've a house, clothes and food. You wont miss anything. This isn't as classy as your place, but you wont miss anything, I promise._

_As long as you stay with me, I'm okay _I said hugging him tightly.

We remained in that embracefor along time.

"Jake" I whispered after a while "Can we go out?"

"Where do you want to go?" he mumbled into my hair

"Away from here."

"Okay"

We rose up quietly and he took a shirt that was lying on the floor and pulled it on. He opened the window and climbed out.

"What are you doing?" I hissed quietly.

"I don't want to wake Billy up. It would be rude" he said. I knew that that wasn't the real reason but I didn't ask.

When I landed on the ground did I feel the mud under my bare feet.

A quiet curse left my mouth and Jake chuckled "Just like…" he said before cutting off. _Just like my mother_ I thought. That was what he was planning to say.

"Let's go" I said.

We went to his car and Jake started the engine with a loud sound. "Can't wait to get a quieter car" he said and left of in full speed. I listened careful to the sounds inside the house, but nothing had changed.

The road was wet, it had probably rained, when didn't it?

I had my feet up on the passenger seat and hugged my knees, my chin relying on them. Even though it was dark could I see the contours of the trees that where passing by.

After a while did Jake speak to me for the first time "You don't wanna go home?" I shook my head and he sighed.

An hour later I looked out and saw the same sign I'd seen at least twice before.

"You're driving in circles" I looked at Jake.

"Well, you didn't give me and exact address did you?" he said winy. And it was understandable. I'd driven him out of the house and made him drive around just because I had nothing to do. I looked at him with an excused look and his face expression changed.

"Sorry, baby. I didn't meant to be mean. sorry if I hurt you. It's just… I'm mad at myself. I could've done more, I could've stayed" "Don't say anymore" I cut him off "not your fault."

"I cant help feeling bad. Your hurt! He hurt you" he said hardly while gripping tighter of the steering wheel.

"No Jake, you wouldn't be able to do anything" "But I have to protect you"

"No Jake, you don't. your not my bodyguard. I knew what I was getting myself into, I can only blame myself."

"But Ness…"

"No Jacob, you couldn't do anything!" I yelled looking at him directly into his eyes.

"You're impossible, Renesmee Cullen!"

I flinched and looked at him "You've never called me Renesmee before" I whispered.

"Well, you've never called me Jacob" he answered relaxed.

"Yes, I have" I remembered that first day at his house, the first time we'd kiss.

He smiled a mini version of my favorite Jake smile "Fine, but you're still impossible"

We continued in silence, well, until my stomach complained loudly. Jake chuckled.

"Well, someone's hungry. There's a McDonalds some miles away, you can hold or you want to go find a deer, that's fast food." I shook my head

"I can wait."

Five minutes later did we pull in to the parking lot and even before Jake had managed to put the hand break in, was I out of the car and halfway through the parking lot.

"Hey, what happened to low profile?" Jake said as he came running behind me.

"As long as we don't reveal ourselves to humans, we're okay" I said opening the door and the, for now, delightful scent of fried filled my nose.

"Well you've got a good vampire raise"

"That's what you get when you live with a bunch of them" I mumbled.

"What do you want to have?" he asked as I looked at the signs showing of the food.

"I'll take a big Mac, big fries and a big coke" I said and Jake whistled

"You eat more than me!" I punched him playfully on the arm and he went to the cahier who smiled widely "What can I get you?" she sang, to eagerly.

I rolled my eyes and went looking for a seat.

I chose the seats as far away that I could. There where only a few people there. A man in a suit that was arguing with someone over the phone, and a young couple. They looked very alike…

I turned my head quickly to avoid the memories.

By our table was a little play castle for children. I hadn't seen the little girl playing in there. She had long chestnut colored hair in big curls at the end, just like I had have fore less than five hours ago. Her eyes where big and brown. Scary, but she looked very alike myself when I was little. What was that, 3-4 years ago?

The girl looked at me, tipping her head to the side and watching me with her big eyes.

I looked around. Maybe she wasn't looking at me. But was she here all alone?

The girl started to walk and soon was she by my table.

"Hi" she said with a clear voice.

"Hi" I said nervously.

"What's your name?" she asked, very innocently.

"Renesmee"

"Oh, your name is so cool! I wish I'd a cool name like yours" she said looking disappointed at her feet.

"Well, what's your name, then?"

"Amanda" the girl replied.

"I like your name, it's really pretty" curiosity took over, it wouldn't harm to ask, would it? "How old are you?"

"I'm seven" Amanda said with a quirked simile.

"Oh, just like…" I was about to say 'me' when I realized my mistake "My sister" I said and Amanda's eyes sparkled.

"You've a sister?" she said. And I was about to answer here when Jake came with our food.

"Hey, who's this?" he asked, smiling to Amanda, but looking worried at me.

"I'm Amanda" she replied happily "Who are you?" "I'm Jacob. Are you here alone, sweetie?"

"Amanda…" a voice called I spun my head to see the young couple form before walking towards us. They looked concern, but Amanda ran to them and jumped into the mans open arms "Daddy! Mommy! I've new friends, their names are Renesmee and Jacob" she said with a smile that made both Jake and me smile.

"Sorry if she bothered you" the woman said "She does that pretty often, go and talk to strangers even if we tell her not to."

"Oh, no. it's okay. She wasn't bothering." I said and Amanda smiled once again "I think this little princess made my day"

Amanda jumped down from her dad's arms and ran to me and locked her arms around my neck. I took a breath of her scent and remembered how hungry I was.

Jake did immediately put his hand on my shoulder.

_I'm fine _I told him and he relaxed.

"Did you say something?" Amanda asked.

"No" I lied.

"Oh, Well, see you Renesmee"

"Bye princess"

She leaned away and walked to her parents "You've an amazing daughter" I told them.

"Thank you" the man said and took her up on his arms. They both left and Amanda waved.

I couldn't help but pretending Amanda was me and her dad was Edward. I sting went through my heart and I turned away from that painful moment.

"Hey" Jake said putting his hand on my cheek "It's okay" he leaned forward and gave me a soft kiss.

_For? _I asked

_I think the cahier wrote her number on my order. _he said and I giggled against his lips.

I pulled away and threw myself to the food. I only heard Jake laugh.

After we'd ate- which didn't take long- we sat and talked. Nothing specifically, just random stuff to make me think of something else. I looked around the now empty restaurant and then I saw the girl behind the counter who was impatiently changing her weight between her legs. I leaned closer to Jake, gave him a kiss on the cheek and then mumbled into his ear "I think your friend wants us to leave" I said peeking at the girl who frowned slightly.

"You want to leave?" he asked.

"If you come with me, yes"

He looked and changed so he was facing me "Always" his lips found mine.

I grabbed a piece of his shirt to pull him closer as he locked his hand on my cheek.

The only thing holding me from throw myself over him was the fact that we weren't alone.

_Let's go home _I told him.

Without arguing did Jake let me go and went to throw our trash in the garbage bin. He came to me and took my hand _Jake, you threw Miss She-cant -be- with- him' s number _Jake just laughed and shook his head. He lifted me up to carry me. I had no shoes.

I saw how the girl reacted when she saw it, here eyes threatening to pop out her head. Jake saw that too.

"Great, will we have to kill her now?" he growled. I giggled and put my hand on his cheek and showed him memories of him flashing me with his dazzling smile. He stiffened. _Do it! _I said, to eagerly.

_Why?_

_Because, I want to see if I'm the only one who dies for some few seconds every time you do that._

Jake sighed and turned to face the girl. I didn't see his face, but the girls reaction was as revealing as it could get. I bit my bottom lip to hold my laugh. Then did Jake surprise the both of us.

"Thanks for sticking out with us" he said with a voice so sweet and soft it even made my heart flutter.

The girl just nodded franticly, her beats even more uneven than mine and she was… hyperventilating?

_Jake, I asked you to dazzle her not actually kill her! _I hissed in my thoughts to him.

_What are you talking about?_

_Her heart, Jacob! I think she got an heart attack! _I was terrified by the fact that tomorrow workers would find a dead young girl on the floor and that we would be the last ones to see her alive.

Jake just snored _She's just weak. I didn't even do my best._

I sighed in relief but got curious "Why didn't you do your best?"

We where by the car now and Jake opened the door and put me in the drivers seat before answering me "Those are strictly restrained to you, love"

His words melt me and I wrapped my arm around his neck and pulled my self up to kiss him.

He responded the kiss by pulling me even more up so I was completely out of the seat. I wrapped my legs around his waist to keep me up.

"Ness…" he mumbled "We have to go" he kept kissing me.

"You let go first I told him"

"I can't" he fought back.

I shrugged "Too bad, then" I said and crushed myself into him once again. But he pulled away. "Fine" I snapped and slid down of him and slammed the door shut. He chuckled and went to take his seat.

As we rolled out of the parking lot to the drive way did I rest my head to the window and before I knew it was I submerged into a deep sleep.


	30. Moving out

**Well, hello readers! new update here, hope you like it! it took me a long time to write it... 3 days actually...  
><strong>

**I just wanted to give a heads up... there's a situation in the chapter that i'd been thinking on putting on but was affraid of your rections to it. But i got this review asking me for it so i thought it was okay to put it... Hope you like it Morgan... it's a bit xtream comparing with what you suggested, but that's who i am;) **

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><p>Moving out<p>

I was vaguely aware of what was happening. My eyelids refused to open, I was so tired.

I didn't hear the engine so we were probably home.

Before I could react did the window that held my head up disappeared and I fell helplessly.

I hadn't even time to panic or scream before I landed in Jake's warm arms. "Sorry, Ness" he mumbled.

He carried me to the house but he stopped and groaned in front of the door "Great"

"Jacob!" I heard Rachael's relieved voice.

"She's fine, just sleeping"

"What are you thinking with boy?" Billy spoke thins time.

"She couldn't sleep and she wanted to get out" Jake said firmly.

"But didn't I tell you to stay here and not take her away?"

"There's a difference between taking _out _and taking _away_" Jake answered and I stiffened. Take me away? I'd definitely missed something.

"But we can't take any risks, Jacob! Sam agrees with me, as long as she wants, she can stay. More cant we do." Billy was calmer but Jake tightened his grip on me.

"You know I cant deny her any-" he started before Billy interrupted him.

"Well, you'll have to find the strength to".

I'd never heard Billy with that authorial voice before, it made me jump in my sleep.

I felt how Jake started to shake, his tremors grew bigger and bigger. I wanted to say something or get down from his grip, but I couldn't. My eyes and body didn't obey me.

"Jacob, give her to me" Rachael pleaded "I know you don't want to hurt her, so give her to me" she came closer.

_Jake calm down _I said but I was even to tired to say that.

His shaking became weaker but Rachael still pleaded "Put her down"

I felt how he pulled me away from his chest and putted me down on the couch.

"Jake, get out" Billy said.

"No" I moaned "Jake, don't-"

"Honey, he'll be right back" Rachael said putting her hand on my cheek.

"But-" another cut of.

"I just need some air" Jake's voice said and he was out of the house.

Now did I actually feel how much I was freezing. But I was to tired. My eyelids close against my will. I wanted to go after Jake but darkness filled my mind.

I heard the weak sound of rain against the windowpane. I felt like last night was a dream but I knew it wasn't. I didn't dream. Not anymore.

I stretched my arms and felt how it hit something. It sounded with a big 'thud'.

"Ouch!" Jake's voice sounded near me "Ness, I think you broke it!"

I sat up straight and saw how he had coped one hand over his face, covering his nose.

"Oh, Jake! I'm so sorry baby!" I exclaimed as I folded my knees under me and looked at him.

"I didn't think you could hit me and _actually _make me feel pain" he mumbled through his mouth.

"Me neither" my voice filled with panic "You okay?" I put my hands on each side of his face.

In a quick motion did he grab my wrists with his hands and pulled me down with him. "Mhm, now I'm fine" he said with that annoyingly, amazing grin.

"You jer-" before I could finish he crashed his lips against mine. It made me melt like butter out in the sun. I the butter, he the sun.

I remembered were we were. Even though Billy new about us, did I doubt he liked the idea of me being here alone with Jake. _Billy? _I asked.

_Out with Rach_

_Okay _I said, I needed him right now, so I let go of the last of boundaries between us.

I grabbed his arms and he put his hands on my back pushing me towards him.

Our lips kept moving together, intensity growing with each.

I slid my hand up his arm and under the sleeve of his t-shirt. He was warmer here than normal. I kept moving my hand up and found his shoulder and grip it. He moaned and pushed me closer.

My mind slipped and I showed him how much every single touch made me want him more and more.

_Oh, Ness! _he said and it was followed by and intense kiss that took my breath away.

I took my hand out and slugged it around his neck and our bodies crashed. My side was hurting and I wanted to lay back. But I refused to let go so I dragged him down with me so he was half laying on top of me.

His hand moved along with my side and slid around it. He found the edge of my shirt but froze.

_They're coming_

I heard the sound of an engine approach.

_Oh! _I sat up in the speed of light.

_Hey, relax. They know I'm here, I've been here all nigh and I'm not planning on changing that._

I relaxed and felled back, curling up to his warm chest.

"See, here's where you belong."

" _I know"_

I heard the front door open and close. I heard the quiet footsteps through the house and the light knocking on the door.

_Close your eyes _he told me and I obeyed.

"Is she awake? Rachael asked.

"Barely" Jake mumbled

I decided that the best thing to do was to play along.

I stretched once again- more careful this time- and mumbled quietly "Jake?"

"Mhm?" he mumbled back.

"Honey, did you sleep well?" Rach came closer to me.

"Ye…ah" I faked a yawn.

"you want breakfast?" I nodded and whipped my face with my hand.

"Kay" she left us and I looked at Jake who looked wide eyed at me.

"Wow, Ness. I'm really impressed! I didn't thought you had it in you. Specially not as you're Bella's daughter…" he trailed of but I laughed to make him sure I was fine. Even though I wasn't. it hurt to hear her name. Even though I didn't want to admit it, did I miss her. A lot. Painfully much.

_I want to change _I told him . Afraid that my voice would break if I spoke out loud.

"Okay" he said and kissed my forehead before leaving.

When he was out did I realized I hadn't any clothes. I groaned when I saw no other option than wearing the dress I'd bought yesterday for the meeting with Mr. Morris. But as soon as I'd walked out of the door, I would ask Rach to borrow me some clothes.

I went out but stopped in the hallway.

Everyone that had been in the house the first time I'd come was here. Plus some other guys that- judging by the size- were part of the pack.

I heard some gasps and fists hitting on skin.

"Nice, entrance princes" a girl said.

"Oh, so sorry! I… I didn't know… did I interrupt anything?" I looked around the room and blushed.

"No, Ness. It's ok. You didn't do anything wrong" Jake came to me and put his hand on my shoulder. He glared at the woman _Don't listen to her, she's just pissed. Leah's always pissed. It's something we all have to live with._

_Yeah, but standing in the middle of this crowd all dressed up is a bit embarrassing._

"Rach" Jake said and she came to us immediately.

"Come Ness"

I followed her to the room and she handed me some boot cut jeans and I put on the tank I'd slept in.

"I'll be out in a minute" she nodded and left. I looked franticly after a brush but ended up putting my hair in a messed bun. I gasped as I touched my hair. Forgetting that I hadn't much anymore. But I didn't complain. I liked it this way.

I threw a quick look in the mirror and saw that the tank was a little see through.

I turned and saw a sweatshirt laying on the floor. I out it on and zipped it. I smelled it, it belonged to Jake.

"Well, no matter what trash you out on you'll always look stunning!" Seth said and I smiled shyly. He winked.

"Good you're here, we wanted to talk to you" Billy said coming closer. Jake did too and he felt how nervous I was. _Don't worry _he said and I calmed down.

"We've been discussing your situation and it's a pretty tricky one"

I looked around and saw that everyone was looking at me. I immediately looked down, ashamed.

"I- I'm sorry I didn't meant to put you all in a difficult spot, honestly. You don't need to have me here if it's to difficult for you. I can just-"

"Stop saying stupidities, Ness. You're staying here, end of story" he looked at me and threw a quick look at Leah, who just growled quietly.

Jake wrapped his arms around my waist and I hugged him.

"Renesmee, you're more than welcome to stay with us." Sam said looking at me "We already see you as a sister, a part of our family"

"But, as far as I know, you're family doesn't know you're here" Billy said " And something we wont do, if we see them of course, is lying about you staying here" I saw that he was looking at Jake who was looking at him with anger.

"Of course not" I said before anyone else would comment " and I am extremely thankful for what you're doing for me."

"I and some of the pack are going on a round later. We caught a scent yesterday, it's probably your family's but we're going anyways to make sure" Sam said but hesitated "If we meet anyone, your dad perhaps… you want to tell him something?"

"No" I said. I felt Jacob and the rest reacting to my cold voice. "I don't want to tell Edward anything" I said and turned around to leave the house.

"Let her go" I heard Billy say, probably to Jake.

I came to the porch but stopped there. The rain was pouring and I couldn't go anywhere.

I sat down, pain filling my chest and tears drowning my eyes.

After a while did Rachael come out "Nessie, honey, come in. you might catch a cold or something." I didn't argue with her, I had no strength to.

I entered and short after did the ones that were going to run patrol leave- one wolf stayed in the forest nearby to keep us informed if there was something new.

I choked on my cookie when a suddenly a big howl was heard from the woods.

We ran out and found the wolf nearby. Jake had stayed behind to phase.

When he came back he sat down next to me, his eyes were different, tearing. I putted my hand on him and saw what he was seeing.

Tears filled my eyes as I saw my mom's expression. She was devastated.

_She wants to talk to you _Jake said

_can she hear me?_

_No, but Sam will phase and talk to her later_

I took a deep breath and clossed my eyes _Mom? I'm fine, I'm with Jake. Mom, I'm so sorry if this hurts you, believe me, it hurts me too. But I need to do this. You need to see that I can take care of myself, I'm not planning to leave, not now. I miss you. Say hi to my grandparents, uncles and aunts for me. Love you._

in that instant did Edward appear in the picture. I flinched when I saw him. His face was torn, looking lost and more devastated than mom.

"Renesmee, I know you're there!" he said his voice broke, it didn't even sound like him "Baby, please come home!"

_this is home, Edward. I've moved out._

I quickly removed my hand from Jake and ran to the house. I slugged myself to the bed and hugged a pillow. But I didn't cry.

I woke up, not realizing what time it was. Probably afternoon. The house was quiet. I didn't hear Billy or Rachael, so I supposed they weren't here.

I found my cell phone. I had one message.

_Baby, I miss you too, a lot. Please talk to me. Your dad is gone, Carlisle took him away from town a few days. He's killing himself, he's devastated. The only thing that kept me from going with him was the urge to talk to you. Please, meet me in Port Angeles, take Jake's bike or something. I'm on my way there. Love you._

She'd written the address. It was hard to breathe. I really wanted to meet her, but should I go? Jake would probably want to come with me. But this was something I had to do alone.

I put shoes on and went out of the room. I heard Jakes light snoring from the couch. I left him a note saying I went out and that I would come back soon.

I took the bike keys on my way out and ran quickly to the garage and stated it and took of.

The ride to Port Angeles felt short, too short. My heart speeded with every mile I took.

While in town I looked for the address and found it quickly. It was a little café.

It was easy to find mom. I saw her before she did and when she caught my eyes did she fly up the chair, too quickly to a human but she didn't care.

I ran to her and crashed against her chest, her arms locked around me in a tight grip.

"Oh, baby, I've missed you so much!" her voice broke in many places and she sobbed tearlessly.

"I've missed you too mom" I said, crying of course.

"Please, we need you. We love you. Everything you said last night…"

"We can talk about it while sitting down" I told her.

We sat on a couch on the far corner of the café. We both ordered a cup of coffee.

"Nessie. All the things you said last night. What were you thinking? Sure, we probably wished you'd stayed little longer, but you're an amazing daughter and I can't see my life without you. I've told you at least a million times before"

"I know mom. But, have you ever felt like you don't fit in? I never told you this, but there was some periods in my life when I wanted to just be normal. A normal vampire, not a freak."

She looked at my with an extremely motherly look "But you aren't a freak, your special. Amazing, and we all love you for who you are. No one would like differently"

I took her hand and squeezed it hard. "Yeah, but the fact that I look like 17 or more doesn't change the fact that… some people don't accept that."

"so you're trying to prove to _some people _that you can handle your own problems?"

"Yes"

She looked at me "then I wont fight with you about that" she looked at me and smiled slightly "You know, Edward freaked out when he heard you say that you'd moved out"

I rolled my eyes "What else could we expect?"

We sat in the café for about an hour when my mom said something I never thought I'd hear from her "You want to go shopping with me?"

My jaw dropped "Did you just say 'me' and 'shopping' in the same sentence?"

"I know, right?" she said looking at me.

After some stores and a lot of bags were we walking down the main street.

"Bella?" two girls some feet away looked at us "Oh my God, Bella!" they started to walk towards us waving

_They are? _I asked mom

"Old friends from high school" she whispered.

I looked at the two girls coming "Oh, Bella! So nice to see you!" one squeaked.

"Hi, Jessica" mom replied as the girl throw herself at my mom.

"So, what? You forget your high schools friends when you get married?"

"Hey, being married isn't easy, you know" the other girl said. Mom just gasped.

"Angela? Since when?"

"Soon a year" she looked at my mom and blushed " I tried to find your address but you were no were to be found"

"Yeah, I tried to convince her to get a private detective or something, but she didn't want to" Jessica said.

"Oh, congratulations, Ange! Who's the lucky guy?" my mom said.

"He's name is Jaden, he's a doctor"

"oh" my mom said looking a bit bewildered.

"Hey, who's this?" Jessica asked looking at me.

"I'm Re-Nessa. Well, Vanessa actually but everyone calls me Nessa" I stretched my hand to both the girls.

"You're a Cullen to?" Jessica's look was filled with curiosity. I looked at my mom who gave me a nod of 'go ahead'. I knew their story so it would be easy to lie something.

"Yeah, Dr. and Mrs. Cullen are my foster parents"

"You don't look traditionally Cullen" Jessica eyed me.

I laughed "I know right? It's weird being around pale people. I'm… Brazilian actually, they found me on a vacation. My parents died in a car accident"

"Oh, so sorry" Angela looked at me kindly.

"It's okay" I said.

"Hey, you guys want to go eat or something? Bella we've a lot of things to talk about" Jessica was once again excited.

"I guessed we could-"

"Bella, I'm in a hurry" I cut her off before she could continue. _I have to get back._

"You sure?" she looked at me with her eyes starting to fill with that sadness from before.

"Yes. We'll talk later, okay? Bye" I gave her a hug and said my goodbyes to the other girls.

_Love you mom _I said and turned around.

When I came back to La Push was it more grayer than ever. The clouds were so dark and heavy that they threaten with fall down from the sky at any second.

I ran to the house but there was no one here.

"Anyone?" I said and got no answer. I dropped the bags on the floor and stepped to the kitchen.

On the floor there was a paper shaped to a ball. It was the note I'd left Jake. Why was it here?

"Renesmee!" his voice made me jump five feet up in the air.

"Jacob! You scared me!" I said as he stomped in to the house.

"Yeah? Well what do you think I am?" he yelled back.

"Why are you yelling at me?"

"Why did you just leave without telling me?" he looked furious, I'd never seen him like this.

"You don't read what I write to you?" I said showing him the paper.

"That doesn't give me enough information you know"

"Well, how much do you need?" I was starting to get really mad.

"At least tell me that you're leaving? What if something happened? Or if anyone-"

"I can take care of myself you know! You don't need to baby sit me" I yelled at him. I couldn't believe he actually was angry because I didn't tell him where I was.

He glared at me "What?" I asked annoyed.

"That's what you see me like? A baby sitter?" he asked, his voice a bit shaken with anger.

"That's how you're acting" I said without flinching.

He walked closer to me " How the hell do you think I would react if you suddenly disappeared like that? You know who hard it has been for me? I'm living whit the constant fear of you leaving again, you know how that feels like?" we were just some inches from each other, staring at one another. "You know how much I'm afraid of your bloodsucking family taking you away from me?"

"_Bloodsucking family_?" I said "My family, a bloodsucking family?" I raised my voice "You could at least show some respect to them, that's _my _family you're talking about."

"Respect to who? To the ones that you said don't want you? To the ones that wished you where different? To those?" he said "You said it yourself, they don't want you"

I couldn't believe how much pain those words caused me. I knew my family loved me, but Jake made me recap last nights argument. They wanted me different, they'd always.

But hearing those words from Jake ripped me apart. He'd never spoken to me like that.

I looked up at him, tears rolling down. His expression changed "Oh, Ness. I'm sor-"

"Leave" I whispered with a think voice.

"No, Ness. I didn't mean to…"

"Just shut up and leave Jacob!" I screamed and my tears disappeared. "I don't want to see you! Get the hell out of here!" I pushed him away from me. "GET OUT!" I screamed pushed him, sending him away from me.

"That's what you want?" he said coldly.

"am I talking in Chinese? Get out, damn it!" I screamed.

He turned around and slammed the door behind him so hard that a vase fell down to the floor and the windows shook.

I stayed paralyzed in the middle of the floor. What just happened?

* * *

><p><strong>So what did you think? Was it as you expected? Please comment, it helps me a lot. and of course you can suggest some things you want to happen, i might have thought of them, and i might not... tell me! <strong>


	31. Quality time

**First thing first: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE REVIEWS FROM LAST CHAPTER! I woke up this morning and saw them... they totaly made my day! I've the best readers in the world! Well, all review make my day so keep them comming;)  
><strong>

**Also I wanted to thank a very special person. As you might have notice, I've change the summary of the story. Well, all credits needs to go to my loved Morgan Hill aka ButterflyReader! Morgan, thank you so much! I couldn't have odne it without you! so Thank u thanku thank u!  
>This chapters id for you!<strong>

**Now... Enjoy!**

* * *

><p><em>Quality time<em>

"Renesmee! Are you okay?" Rachael ran to me were I was lying on the floor.

It was were I'd staid after Jake left, for more than two hours ago.

I laid in the middle of the room, curled into a tiny ball, holding my arms around my waist, trying to hold myself put together. "What happened?" her voice all shaken. She helped me get up and putted me on the couch.

_I told him to get out, he will never come back _I said, my voice sounded hypnotized, like if it was a recording. And it felt like it. For the two hours that had passed had I repeat the same sentence over and over.

"who?" Rachael was confused.

_Jacob _I showed her the entire fight. Tears streamed down my face as I replayed it all for her. This was the first time we'd ever fight, and look how it ended up. And it was all my fault.

"Oh, Ness. You're going through to much already to need this" she whispered. She shad her arms wrapped around me and was rocking me slightly. "I wish I could help you, but I've never argued with Paul, well, not like this. But I understand the feeling. You see, you're Jacob's everything. He would give up anything for you, even his own life right on place if you asked him to. He's just worried. But that doesn't give him the right to say what he said either." she took a deep breath and I waited for her to continue "He'll have time to think things through more carefully now that they're gone…"

I stiffened _Who's gone? _I asked as panic grew inside me.

"Oh, you didn't hear, did you? Well, after you talked to your mom this morning, were we informed that there was a new scent, a vampire. He was alone. The pack and your uncles confirmed that it belonged to someone of the Volturi." she trailed off as she heard my gasp.

_The Vo-Volturi? What are they doing here?_

"I don't know, no one does. Your family thinks their looking to see you, to prove that you might not have changed, that you're still little."

My heart raced. Were they after me again? Hadn't that stayed in the past? Had my mom known about this and was it therefore she'd wanted me out of Forks?

"The pack offered to take up the search, to see if whomever was here still is around or if he has left. The scent was vague so it was hard to confirm an exact person…"

_The pack _offered_? _I said.

"Yes, well, Jake offered to go and of course his little pack, but Sam refused to let them go alone, so all left."

_For how long? _I asked starting to fear the worst.

"We don't know, Jake's leading. He will cross the entire country to see if there's any kind of danger around you. The most probable thing is that they are gone two days…"

_Two days?_

"I know" I could hear the longing in her tone. She felt the same about leaving Paul

_You were with Paul this afternoon, weren't you? _I asked

"Yes"

I rose up and left the couch "Where are you going?" Rachael asked.

"Sleep" I whispered

"You want something to eat?"

"Not hungry"

I walked to the room and dived into the bed without even bother to take my shoes off.

I couldn't believe that while the rest of the couples had been saying their goodbyes, Jake and I had spend the time we had fighting over something so obvious as my safety. He had all reasons to act the way he did. He knew about the Volturi, he maybe had though they had me.

I felt so bad for everything that had happened that that nigh didn't I sleep at all.

I heard how Rach went to sleep and how she woke up in the middle of the night to drink water. I heard how she talked to Billy when he asked what was wrong with me.

When I assumed the morning had come did a light knock on the door make me rise up from bed for the first time.

"Good morning Renesmee" Billy said

"Morning Billy. Rachael is still sleeping" I told him, my voice sounded mechanically.

"And you should too, it's 5 am" he said "I just wanted to tell you that I'm going out fishing with your grandpa"

I reacted to the word grandpa. I hadn't talked to grandpa Charlie in a while, it was probably time I did.

"Okay. Tell him 'hi' from me" I said to Billy.

"I will. Now go back to sleep"

He left me at the door and left the house in his old wheel chair. I had to much going on to go back to sleep, so I decided to take a shower.

When I came back out was Rachael making me some eggs I went to stand next to her.

"You need help?" I asked as she was racing between moving the eggs so they wouldn't burn and fixing toast.

"You could set the table, please"

I did as she asked, moved quickly to were the necessary things were and putt them swiftly on the table.

"I wish I could be as fast and graceful" Rach put the plate with eggs in front of me and we started to eat. I mumbled as answer.

"Thank you, Rach" after we finished eating were we taking away everything "I can do the dishes, you go shower if you want" "Thanks, Ness" she smiled and left to the bathroom.

After the dishes wasn't there much to do, so I decided o unpack the hoping bags.

"You bought out entire Port Angeles?" Rachael asked as all the clothes were spread out.

"This is actually nothing compared to what we buy when we're out with Alice…" I trailed of as I saw how Rach looked wide eyed at the clothes, I giggled "Rach?" she had her mouth open "Earth to Rachael Black!" "Hold on, Ness. I think I'm in heaven" her eyes were focused on a black, one shouldered cocktail dress with sparkles. I rolled my eyes.

"Well, enjoy heaven" I walked out of the room.

I watched TV for a long time. I was watching some reality show when Rach came.

"Hey, you want to come with me to Emily's? she invited me over to dinner and…"

"I don't like to be a party crasher, Rach" I cut her of

"_And_" she continued where she'd left of "she told me to tell you to come too, she wants to ask us something"

I looked at her and she pouted. I sighed "Fine"

I put on some jeans, a tank and a cardigan and we left. We walked there, and it felt nice.

"What do you think she wants to ask?" I looked at Rach

"I'm not really sure…" she started "but I think and hope, she'll ask if we want to be bridesmaids!" Rachael's voice was pitch high at the word 'bridesmaids'.

"Maybe you. I don't think she'll ask me, I mean, we barely know each other"

Rach just shrugged and we kept walking. When we arrived was Emily on the porch.

"Hi Rachael! I'm so happy you came Renesmee!" she was so kind, I just had to smile.

The house smelled delicious chicken and potatoes.

"It smells wonderful, Em!" Rach said.

"Thank you"

After we ate and cleaned the dishes did Emily tell us what she wanted. Rachael was right. She was freaking out with excitement.

I on the other hand was shocked "Emily, if you feel you need to have me as a bridesmaid just because I'm with Jake…" "No. I'm asking you because I want you to be a bridesmaid" she smiled warmly.

"Anything for the bride" I said as an acceptance of her petition.

They immediately started to talk weddings and I stepped in in some places, not to often though. I couldn't focus on anything besides the clock. I was so worried about Jake and the rest of the pack. The fact that the Volturi was out and they were chasing them scared me. Not to mention I missed Jake terribly and couldn't wait to fix things up, I didn't like the feeling of fighting with him and not fix it.

When I once again joined the conversation was I shocked. They where talking guys.

"But do you remember that guy from Florida, he that came to visit Mrs. Call? The hot one" Emily said.

"Oh my, yes! The one who turned out had make out with all the girls his age. We where lucky" Rach said. They both laughed. I looked wide eyed at them, how could they be so relaxed.

"Nessie, what's wrong?" Emily asked

"I just… I don't get how you guys can be so relaxed. I'm _dying _with anxiety about them being in trouble"

They both laughed. If they continued I would flip.

"Oh, don't think we aren't worried, too. But this is something we'll have to deal with" Emily looked understanding at me.

"But imagine, when and if our kids get the gene, how freaked out wouldn't we be every time they had to go on patrol?" Rach said.

Emily shuddered "Don't remind me. How does Sue live with that. I mean, okay, Leah's all grown up. But Seth? He's so little"

"He's taller than me!" I exclaimed "And older. isn't he supposed to be in his twenties or something?"

"Yes, but he still looks like sweet old Seth" Rach said.

"Guess that not even Seth can escape the fact of being underestimated because his age"

We left the subject there, and I was happy about it.

When we came back home, was Billy there.

"How was Emily's'?" he asked.

"Good" Rachael said "How's Charlie?"

"Fine" he said looking into the fridge.

" I'm going to bed, good night" I said and headed to the room before Billy called me.

"Renesmee, your grandpa told me to tell you that he wants you to be at his house Friday, he misses you" I smile at the thought of my old grandpa. All grey haired and wrinkly.

"If he calls, tell him I'll be there at 11"

"Okay!" he yelled back and I prepared to bed.

"I'm off to grandpas!" I told Rach

"Okay sweetie" "You think Jake would mind if I took the bike?" I wanted to take the bike because I missed him so much.

'"He's not here so…" she said.

"Kay!" I clossed the door.

In the garage did I stop in front of the bike. It had been three days since he'd left, and I didn't know if I could take it any longer. Even Emily, the calmest of us, was getting impatient. Sam had called her once to check in, they where somewhere around Maine then.

I sat on the bike and drove away. I couldn't wait to see grandpa.

He was waiting for me when I arrived.

"Grandpa!" I ran and hugged him.

"Hey, kiddo. How's my favorite granddaughter doing" "Just fine" not completely, but better.

"Heard you're staying at Billy's"

I looked at him.

"You wanna tell me why?" "Later"

"Sure…" he trailed of "Is that yours?" he pointed with his chin towards the bikes.

"Jakes"

"Aren't you a minor?" "Do I look like seven?"

"No but-" "What happened with 'need to know'?"

He shuddered "You're right" I was glad I still had that one hidden.

We sat on the couch and talked for hours. I told him of that little argument I'd have with Edward, censuring and removing some things, of course. I also told him about me and Jake. He was a bit reserved on that.

"Well, Jacob's a nice guy. But if he tries anything you just tell me"

I laughed "I think Edward would have that fixed already"

"You're probably right"

I looked at my grandpa "How are you feeling?"

"Just fine. Healthy as a horse, kiddo" he stood up "Want something to eat?" I had to say yes to keep it up, but I really needed to hunt. I still hadn't been on a real hunting trip.

I loved the day with my grandpa, because we didn't do much. We ate, helped each other with the dishes and watched TV.

When it go dark did we decide it was time to leave.

"Now you take care and visit me more often, okay, kiddo?" I smiled "Yes grandpa" "Ad please, fix up with your parents" I sighed "I can't…"

"For me?" he pleaded.

"I don't promise anything" I said surrendering.

"That's my girl." he hugged me goodbye and I left.

I met Billy, he was on his way out of the house "Hey, Billy!"

"Hey, who was your day?"

"Great" I still had a smile on my face.

"Good to see you smiling, hun" "Where are you going?"

"I need to talk to Sue" "Okay then, see you!" I entered the house and took my Jacket off.

Rachael wasn't home. The house felt suddenly dark and empty. I had never been here alone. I shuddered and went to my room. I grabbed my towel and a sleeping gown and went to the bathroom.

I let the hot water stream down and pull me away.

I stepped out and out in my sleeping gown. Mom had bought it. It was short, Edward-flipping-out-short, but I was home alone.

I let my wet hair out and went out.

The floor was cold under my bare feet so I sprinted to the bedroom and looked for the hair dryer.

I heard the front open. It was dark outside, was it Rach?

"Rachael?" I asked and went out.

I didn't need a light to see who it was.

I looked at him. He looked tired. His pants, t-shirt and sweater were all dirty, he had even a trashy beard. But he was still beautiful.

He stood still, watching me too.

My pride was screaming 'don't do anything stupid'. but pride was a bad thing, I didn't listen to it often.

I ran to him and he received me with open arms.

"Oh, Jake! I've missed you so much!" I said with my arms and legs wrapped around his body. I hid my face in his shoulder and took a deep breath of his scent.

"I've missed you too, baby. A lot" he hugged me back.

I leaned away from his shoulder and looked for his face in the dark. I slid my hands to his head and pressed it against mine, making our lips meet.

My lips moved eagerly against him, causing him to lose balance. I loosened the grip and landed on my feet on the floor, I wasn't kissing him anymore.

"Where are you going?" he asked and took my face with his hands.

I slugged my other arm around his neck and pulled me up once again. He lifted me up and I once again wrapped my legs around him. He stumbled forward and I crashed with a wall.

_Sorry I-_

_Don't_ I told him. Now that I had the support of the wall was it easier to kiss him the way I wanted. Long and intense.

I slid down, my arms tight around his neck, not breaking the kiss.

His hand slid around my waist and mine were all over his shoulders. I put them under his sweater and took it of him. He helped me by taking his arms out and threw it away.

My arms were back on his warm neck.

He left my lips and kissed my jaw. He trailed kisses all the way to my shoulders and back up. He stayed in my collarbone making me gasp, chills went though my body. There was one thing I wanted now.

_I want you, Jake._

He moaned and lifted me up, maybe he'd been thinking the same.

He took me to his bedroom and we fell down on the bed.

He took my leg and pulled it up to him, it felt nice to have the weight of above me. I found his shirt and stuck my hand under it, feeling the shape of his muscles, my hand touching them then sliding around to his back to press him closer. I couldn't wait any longer.

"Ness" he said breathlessly "I can't" he was looking at me with apologizing eyes "I'm sorry" he clossed his eyes.

I looked at him, it was hard for him right now. I put my hand on his cheek "It's okay" he opened his eyes and I looked at him.

"Don't think I don't love you. Its just…"

"Shh, don't say more. I understand. You cant help but thinking how old I actually am…"

"No, Ness, I know you want me to see you as the adult you look, but…"

"Hey, I said it's okay. Really. I can wait"

I lifted my head and gave him a kiss. Just to show him that it was okay.

_I love you_ I told the most wonderful guy on earth. Who I was happy belonged to me.

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><p><strong>AGAIN, THANK YOU SO MUCH AND KEEP REVIEWING!<br>LOVE U ALWAYS!**


	32. Consolation

Consolation

We laid on the bed. He had his hand o my bare thigh, making me all warm. I had my hand on his chest, drawing designs across it as I showed him how much I loved and missed him.

I'd lost the track of how many 'I'm sorry's ' I'd said. every time I did he kiss me somewhere as an answer. I loved that we didn't need to speak. For me, words weren't enough. Nothing was enough when it came to him. Not even the fact that we could be together forever. I wanted to give him so much more.

_What are you thinking? _his voice inside my head made me jump, but also send a wave of delight through my body. When I showed him my thoughts did he stiffen around me.

_Ness, you don't need to give me anything. You give me everything just by existing. That's all I need. This, having you with me, is just an extremely wonderful bonus._

His words made me smile and I hugged his waist. But there was something more I could give him.

_You deserve more, Jake_

He sighed _Not right now. This is enough._

I lifted my head and reached for his face. My lips placed a kiss on his jaw, then his neck. He shuddered and I kept kissing him. I pulled myself up to him, putting one hand on his neck. Trailing my kisses from his neck to his lips. I kissed him softly

"Ness" he mumbled through the kisses. "Please"

_I cant help it _my lips never left his _I'm weak._

I felt how his lips formed a smile. He put his arm around me and leaned over me. I followed every move.

We kept kissing, soft and gentle, nothing out of range. But I had a really hard time with it. All I wanted was to slung myself over him. But he managed to keep me on track. I had to settle with this. For now.

After a while were we once again just laying on the bed, I laid on his chest and he was playing with my hair.

I was going to ask him something I'd been wanting to ask a long time now, but I didn't want to ruing the moment. And the question was very party crashing.

"Jake?" I asked, trying to sound a bit distracted.

"Mhm"

"Did you find any new tracks?" I said tracing my hand across his arm.

"Of what?"

I rolled my eyes without him seeing "The Volturi"

He automatically locked his arms around me and pulled me closer.

"No" he said coldly

"Kay" I whispered.

He groaned " I swear, if they ever come close to you…" he trailed of, his body started to shake.

I get loose from his grip and grabbed his arm "Baby, calm down" I took his face in my hands "Look, I'm okay. Nothings wrong with me'"

"But what if-"

"But nothing." I kissed him and looked him in the eyes "Jake, you promise me that you'll cut down on the worry and paranoia…" I took his right hand and lifted it up, like if he was going to swear an oath. He just smiled. "You promise me that and I promise that I wont go out without telling you or without company again"

He chuckled and shook his head but I was drop dead serious.

"Promise me!" I said.

"Okay, Promise!" he said laughing. "Where do you get all these things from?" he asked me. I just shrugged. He looked at me. "Oh, I don't think I've told you this" he took a piece of my hair "But I really like the new look. It suits you. But… I don't know, the other one was more Renesmee in some way."

"That's why I cut it. It was to Renesmee Cullen, I'd to embrace Vanessa. Specially if I'm going to high school." he looked at me "But you aren't going to high school right now, it's to late for that."

"I know" I sighed and played with the edge of my sleeping gown.

"by the way, where did you get that from?" he pointed at the sleeping gown.

"Mom got it to me" I said, looking at my hands that where still on the fabric.

"Have Edward seen it?"

I shook my head "She got it for me when I was out"

"You know he'd freak out if he saw it, right?"

I nodded "But he'll never know I wore it" I looked at Jake who had a smudge grin.

"I can't promise you that" he said and I gasped .

"Jacob Black!"

"I'm kidding, he wont" I relaxed "Although, it will take me a while to forget it" he had my favorite smile on his face and I couldn't help but being a bit mean.

"Okay then" I rose up from the bed and ran quickly to Rachel's bedroom and looked the door. He was behind me and knocked on the door.

"Nessie! Nessie, open the door!" he knocked so hard I thought it would break.

"I'm changing!" I yelled back as I searched fore my Capri's and t-shirt mom had bought me.

He groaned "Why are you doing this to me?"

I just laughed.

As soon as I opened the door and entered the living room did he wrap me in his arms and squeezed me. "Jake! I can't breathe!" he responded by kissing my neck. I felt the warmth of his breath and wet of his tongue and I felt how my legs gave in "Not helping" I told him.

"It wasn't supposed to"

He kept kissing me and I leaned my head backwards. He stayed a while by my collarbone before heading up to my neck and he came to my ear. I squeaked when he nibbled my ear and I heard how he moaned. I felt how his mouth came closer to my ear and he whispered "Don't scream"

I was to caught up in the moment to understand.

He then lounged himself backwards and hit the soffa. I didn't scream but I did start to laugh.

We both gave in to hysterical just as the front door opened.

"Guess we're all good, then" Billy said looking at me and Jake where we were laughing on the couch.

"Yes, we are" Jake smiled and looked at me before kissing my temple. All I could do was smile.

Rach didn't come back that night, so I guessed she stayed with Paul. Both Jake and Billy were grumping about it.

I couldn't help but giggle about it at the breakfast table. They were talking how they'd been so out of control lately. When a laugh escaped my lips did they both turn around to look serious at me. I immediately composed myself

"I'm… gonna take a walk." I took my plate to the sink and went out.

It was hot but the clouds were thik and grey. I walked a bit into the forest, not to far away for Jake to frak out. I sat on an old tree trunk looking up to the sky.

"C'mon sun" I said looking at the cloudy sky "I know you're hiding somewhere up there"

I sighed frustrated when it didn't appear.

"Renesmee…"

I turned my head around and looked deep into the forest. I knew that voice well. It was a voice that I once had equaled with comfort, safty and love.

"What do you want?" I said rising from the trunk, he should now I wasn't scared.

"Can we talk?"

I shook my head firmly "I've nothing to say you."

"But I have tones-"

"I don't care." my voice shook but I cleared my throat " You had five years to tell me the truth, _five years _to tell me about Jake. And you didn't. I forgave you. But I'm afraid of doing that again"

"Baby, you don't have to be afraid of me. I'm your father"

"No you're not" he stopped breathing and so did I "My father would've been completely honest with me, he wouldn't lie. And if he did, he would be man enough to confess it. You haven't done anything of that"

I faced him for the first time as his eyes turned sad.

"That's why I'm here, to apologize…"

"It's to late. You had the opportunities to apologize before, but you didn't take it. And I'm really sorry." I looked at him before turning around "Goodbye Edward"

"Renesmee please!"

No pleading would work on me now. As I'd said, it was to late.

I ran back to the house and burst into tears as soon as I stepped in. Jake was with me in matter of seconds.

"What happened?" his voice filled with worry.

" I… he…" I was sobbing to much to form meanings so I showed him instead.

He growled when I showed him Edward and he hugged me more.

"Everything will be alright, baby. I promise"

I had a hard time believing that.


	33. Agreements

_Agreements_

Mom had called me at least ten times, or the number presentation said it was mom. I was 100 percent sure it was Edward. He'd called twenty times before my mom started. Jake groaned every time the phone rang.

"Stupid, idiot lee…" Jake mumbled some offenses against Edward but I didn't listen.

I was laying next to him on the sofa, his arms wrapped around me, protecting me.

"Billy! Jacob!" a voice from outside the house screamed. Jake sat up and so did I. Billy came with his wheel chair to where Jake and I were laying. He opened the door and seconds after was my grandpa Charlie in the house.

"Grandpa?" I said, rising from the sofa, Jake glued to my hip. "What are you doing-" he cut me off before I could finish my sentence.

"What's this nonsense of you moving out of your house?" I looked down

"Grandpa, I told you…"

"That you had an argument with your father, yes. But not that you'd moved out! What are you thinking?" he looked at me with a disappointed look before turning to Jake

"And you." Jake's hands slightly left my waist as grandpa looked at him "Why don't you at least call her parents to tell them she's with you? She's a minor, Jacob. They can sue you…"

"Not if it was my choice, grandpa" he turned his eyes once again to me. "Don't think I'm not hurting, because I am. I'm hurting as much as they are, but I cant help it. I prefer to stay here with Jake" I fell back once again to his arms "Than go back and be kept in the dark again."

"Honey, but your mother-"

"I've talked to mom already. It's Edward."

He sighed and looked at Billy and Jake "You mind if I talk to _my _granddaughter, in private?" his eyes stayed on Jake.

"Of course, Charlie" Billy glared at Jake who didn't leave.

_Ness…_

_I'll be fine. It's just Charlie_

He let go but kissed the top of my head before leaving with Billy through the front door.

"Honey, sit" he pointed at the couch and he sat down next to me. "Sweet heart" he begun looking at the wall " Your so like your mother. You both hate when someone lies to you" he chuckled at some memory "And it's understandable. But I'm gonna tell you what I once told your mother when she found out I'd lied to her" he turned to face me "Sometimes, we parents, lie to our children to protect them, because we want the best for them. Now, I don't know what Edward lied to you about, but I bet he had a darn good reason to do it. Somehow that kid always does…"

"Not this time grandpa" my voice was thick "I don't know why he... I can't imagine what would make him lie to me like that. Lie to you guys. Did he tell you why we left?"

"No. But he did say it was for your best."

" I doubt that" I snorted

"Renesmee. Please. think about it. Isn't there anything you think would make Edward lie to you?"

I thought about it a while. Was there anything? He'd told me many times he'd do whatever to protect me and my mom from any type of danger. I only knew one, one that once again threatened us.

"honey. I know it's hard. But if you give him another opportunity he might-"

"How many opportiunities will I have to give him before he tells me the truth? I've asked him nice, I've tried to prove to him that I'm grown up to understand, but he keps lying to me, grandpa. Do you know how frustrated that is? I mean, he let me chose anything, even coming back to Forks, so he wouldn't need to tell me the truth."

My tears burned in my eyes and I looked away from my grandpa and blinked them away.

"That's why I think you neeed to talk with him. Runing away isn't quite a mature way of proving him that you're grown up. If you want to be mature, show him by being the one who takes the firs step. Call him and tell him that you've decided to give him this chance, but the last one. He has only this opportunity to be compleately honest with you"

it was hard to admit that he was right. I needed to give Edward one last opportunity. At least. After all he was my father. But I confess, that this would not go on smoothly.

I sighed "Fine" i whispered.

"That's my girl" he leaned over to hug me. it felt nice to smell his scent.

"You migh wanna call your mom." he mumbled.

"Yeah, and I'll talk to Edward" he smiled when I told him "Later"

"That's better than nothing" he kissed my foreheaed but turned serious "Jacob and you are moving fast"

i stiffened "Wha-what do you mean?"

"I mean, the way he sticks around you, he's ready to fight if anyone comes near"

"He's" I tried to fine a right word "overprotecting"

"Well, you had to be your mother's child" he laughed and i couldn't help but laugh too.

He left me on the couch and went out to talk to Billy. Jake came back in and immediatley took me in his arms "What are you going to do?" he mumbeled into my hear as he kissed my haed.

"I've to talk with him. Sooner or later."

"But what if he lies again?"

"Then, it was his choise. I can't do anything"

it hurted to say those words out loud. But that was the truth. This would be his last chance to either tell me the truth, or never talk to me again.

I called them later that night. I talked to mom first.

"So, Charlie went to talk to you?" she said after she'd told me she loved adn missed me like a hundred times.

"Yeah. I gotta say mom, he's really convinceive."

"Why?"

"Can I... talk to Edward"

she froze on the other edge of the phone "O-of course" the question had taken her by surprise.

i hear some noise on the other side before he talked.

"Hi, baby"

"Hi, Edward"

"I miss hearing you call me dad"

"One thing at the time, please?" I said feeling ready to hang up, but i really had to do it.

"Of course. How are you?"

"Fine, thank you."

"That's good"

"Okay, enough chit chat" jake entered the room as I said that "I'm going to give you one last chance, to talk to me, Edward. And use it well"

"What do you mean?"

i sighed "That you now have your chance to give me a dang good reason to excuse yourself for every little lie. I give you the chance to speak"

He took a deep breath "First, you should know that I love you, and that I'm so sorry this hurt you so much. Believe me, it was never my intention to cause you pain. But you have to know, that all I've ever done, is for your safety" he breathed again "I prefered not telling you about jacob when you lost your memory, beacuse I was afraid of the volturi" his voice said their name with disgust and jake automatically grabbed my hand.

"Why the volturi?"

"Because, they wanted to kill you before, and I'll bet anything that they've been watching for an excuse to make Aro see that you're a danger to all vampires"

i couldn't help but get shocked by his words. "So, you think that if they found out about me and Jake... they would see me as a threat?"

"The Volturi is scared of anything that they don't know about. They don't like not being in control of things in our world. So yes. I think their biggest fer is that you and Jacob together would be able to do things that are out of our world"

It sounded funny, but I couldn't laugh at it.

"You think thta's why they were around some days ago?"

"How do you know about it?" he said coldly

"Jake's honest with me, we found it easier" i said able to hide a bit of the ironyin my voice.

He was silent for a while "Am I forgiven?"

I somehow felt dissapointed. I hadn't any expectations about this call, so I didn't know why I felt dissapointed. "I guess" i finfally said "But don't expect that we'll start fine just like that. It's gonna take time to once again build up that trust"

"And I compleately understand that. When you come back, we'll talk"

"I'm not coming back, not for now"

"But, Renesmee, We miss you around"

"And I miss everyone. But I'm not going home for now. Maybe after we've talk tomorrow we can..." he cut me off

"Tomorrow? We're going to talk tomorrow? Will you come here?"

"There're some things that can't be discussed pver the phone, Edward. I'll call you again tomorrow before I go"

"I'll be waiting"

"Say 'hi' to everyone from me"

"I will"

"Kay"

"Renesmee..." he said just as i was about to hang up

"What?"

"I love you" he said firmly

"Good nigh, Edward" i hung up.

"You're really going?" Jake asked me

"I've to face him sooner or later. You think you could drive me there?"

"Of course" he leaned to kiss me.

_Thank you_

_You're welcome  
><em>

I went to bed, preparing for a long day. But for the first night in many, I felt asleep calmely.


	34. Truce

**A quick note: First: lucky all you who have finish school! Hope you've a great vacation! As some might know, am i having some troubles with my computer were i've all my chapters, i have acces now to another but i can't use it as frecuent as my own (which sucks) so the uploading of chapters will be rare. And also, I am leaving to L.A this summer for about 6 weeks (freaking out about it as i write it) so yeah, the updates will be rare. I had actually palnned to take my computer with me, but it seems like that wont happen, either :( So i want to excuse myself if i suddenly dissapear or don't update. This things are stuff i can't handle. But believe me, i'm trying my hardest to update new chapters for you huys and thank you for always reviewing!**

**I'm aslo giving a heads up for a new story i'm working with... more details to come!**

**Thank you again fro beeing so awsome and lovely! Now enjoy this chapter!**

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><p><em>Truce<em>

I fought against the desire of open my eyes. I didn't want to wake up, because I knew what would happen.

Yesterday, had I decided to face Edward. I'd said to myself that I would meet him this afternoon. Yesterday.

Today, I didn't want to wake up. I didn't want to face him. I wasn't ready to do that.

My eyelids are fluttering, not deciding whether they to open up or not. I'm trying to fall back asleep. Meaningless tries, though.

"Ness?" Jake's voice made my eyes open with a shot. "Can I come in?"

"Yes" I immediately regretted that. Couldn't I let him thing I was still asleep?

He opened the door and was carrying a tray.

"Good morning, love" he smiled.

My heart fluttered like every time when he smiled and called me 'love'.

"Morning" I smiled back.

"I made you breakfast" he put the tray on my lap.

I breath in the smell of eggs, toast, coffee and orange juice. It was all pretty put on the tray. I lifted and eyebrow at him.

"Fine. Rachael made it. I just brought it." I could see the tiny bit of hurt in his eyes.

"Well, it's the thought that counts" I leaned and kissed his cheek "Thank you" he smiled after.

When I'd ate did I put away the tray. I knew he wanted to talk to me, but he hadn't said a word while I ate, so he was probably saving it.

I looked at him until he spoke.

"When are you going talk to him?" he asked me.

I sighed "Not decided yet. Why?"

"I need to be somewhere at three, but you know I want to drive you to your…" he trailed off and chuckled at my surprised expression "What is it?"

"Where are you going?"

"I tell you what. If it all goes as I hope, I'll tell you tonight. If not, we forget about it"

I knew he wouldn't give in so I had to go with it. For this time. I took a look at my clock

"Be ready In two hours"

He nodded, took the tray and kissed my on the forehead before leaving the room.

_Love you_

_Love you too_

I showered and changed. I put on some tight, dark blue jeans, a white blouse, a black jacket with up rolled sleeves and black ankle boots.

I let my hair down, slightly wavy and with perfect rolls at the ends. It had grown a little since lately, but still short.

"You ready?" I asked Jake who was sitting with Billy watching TV.

"Wow, Ness. Looking good" he said as he raised from the couch.

"you're not bad either" I eyed him. He was wearing a dark, olive green button up shirt tucked in his dark pants. He was also wearing a black jacket and black leather shoes. I'd never seen him this dressed up. Not since Alice had put her hands on him when I was sick. This made me more curious of where he was going.

He walked to be and grabbed my hand "Shall we?"

I nodded and walked to the door.

"Good luck. Both of you" Billy said after us. He knew what Jake was up to.

As we entered the way that led us to the house, did y heart start to pound hard. Jake noticed it.

"You don't have to do it if you don't want to"

"Yes, I have" he didn't say more.

Both my parents were waiting for me on the cottage porch. Jake stopped the car and I took a deep breath before turning to face him.

"Good luck on whatever you don't tell me"

He chuckled "You too" he kissed my forehead and I stepped out of the car.

I saw how Edward glared at Jake. I turned around and saw Jake looking at him the same way.

"Hi baby" mom hugged me.

"Hey mom" I hugged back. I'd been to long without her hugs. She leaned away and Edward stepped in.

"Hi sweet heart" he smiled slightly.

"Edward" I nodded in his direction and his smile vanished.

"Renesmee Carlie" my mom hissed

"What?" I asked nonchalantly.

"No, Bella, it's okay. I understand. Come in, please" he moved away from the door and I stepped in.

It felt like I hadn't been in here for ages. It was all the same.

We went to the kitchen table and sat down.

The way they both looked at me was strange. They looked, understanding. Like if they where looking at a grown up person, not their daughter.

"Well, you do look older" Edward said. "We've missed you around here"

I just nodded.

"So what do you want to talk about?" mom asked.

"I wanted to explain myself" I thought of all I'd said the night when I left.

"I never thought you felt that way" Edward looked at me "And you have to know, we all feel so bad about it."

"You don't have to" I begun "You didn't know, because I didn't tell you. Everything I said where just things that I once had thought of. I've always felt a bit different during my lifetime, I've felt guilty. I feel like I've disappointed you. I was not what you expected. And I know, I'm special, but that doesn't change the fact of who I am. I am a fast growing hybrid, I am supposed to be different. But, with all the special treatments, does it feel like you want me to change, to be different. And I can't. This is who I am. Yes, I am only seven, but I don't look or feel like seven. I just need to know you can accept that, before I decide to come back"

I looked at them. They were processing every word I'd said. Edward looked double confused as my thoughts were all around the place.

"Honey, you have to know that it's hard for us not see you as a baby, because that's what you are" Edward said

"Well, mom's the same age as me, no one tells her different"

"She's eighteen…"

"Ain't I? that's what I'm talking about. I want you to see me and treat me as the grown up I actually are"

"But, Ness-"

"She's right" mom cut Edward off. "We are the same age, kind of. I am forever frozen at eighteen, she'll be it too. You know how much I've struggled with you to see that I actually can handle myself. Give her a chance."

He sighed loudly "I'll try" he said.

"It's all I ask for. Thank you Edward"

"So, what happened with dad?"

"Still, one thing at the time."

"Truce?" he looked me in the eyes and held a hand out.

"truce" I stretched out my hand and shook his. Firmly and confident. Very grown up.


	35. Celebrating

**Hello:D I'm updating again after what feels like an eteritny! For me, it seems like Eternity isn't enough:P have a lot of things going on, my computer all messed up and my packing not so done, but here I am. Saying: I'm sorry and enjoy!**

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><p><em>Celebrating <em>

The conversation trailed soon of to education. I told them I wanted to study, but we all new that starting school now was meaningless. Besides, my family wasn't supposed to even live here, how would they possibly have me studding here.

After a long time of thoughts did I got an idea.

"I have my alias, that's one of the reasons I got it. I could go to school as Vanessa Wolfe" I looked at both, mom was analyzing it, Edward, over-analyzing it. "I could stay at Jake's…"

"No, your not" Edward said at the same time I spoke it. If I asked 'why not' would another fight probably blow up, so I didn't ask.

Then I got it.

" I could stay at grandpa Charlie's" they looked at me strict "Or I could _say _I live with him." they didn't need to say 'continue' their looks said it " I could say I'm his nice that have come here to take care of him and I'm going to school here too" I looked at them.

"Great idea, must be the Cullen gene" mom said. But even if she liked it, did I still have one persons permission.

"We would have to talk to Charlie first and if it's okay for him, I guess we could go for it"

My heart dropped. Did he actually say yes? Holy crow!

"Thank you, da-Edward" I corrected my mistake fast

"You were about to say dad, weren't you?" he looked at me with a smile

"I wont admit it, though"

"For now"

He suddenly stiffened, but relaxed a bit. "I'll be right back" he was out of the house in seconds.

I threw mom a confused look but she just shrugged.

I heard a car engine coming closer and stop. Mom and I looked at each other and raced to the front door.

As I thought, it was Jake's car. He was out of the car, standing face to face with Edward. Jake's face was serious, but I saw a glimpse of happiness in his eyes, he couldn't hide it.

"Congratulations, I guess" Edward spoke calmly

"Thank you" Jake didn't change his face expression, but his body relaxed.

"I appriciate it" Edward kept looking serious.

"Well, bye mom" I hugged her before walking down to Jake and hugged him. He kept his arm around my waist and I kept mine around him. "Bye, Edward. Call me when you've spoke to Charlie" I felt Jake looked down at me and so did Edward.

"I will. Bye honey" he spoke the last with pain.

I turned around and walked to the car, Jake walked with me, not leaving my side.

A light breeze blew in my direction and I caught a scent. My throat busted out in flames, but it took al my strength not to show it. I entered the car and shut the door quickly. Edward looked at me with worried eyes and I tried not to think about my burning throat. Jake started the engine and drove away. I held my breath. When we were in safety from Edward's mind reading, did I grab Jake's arm.

"Jake, I need to hunt, now!" I hissed, trying not to breathe in his scent.

"Of course" he pulled of the road and stopped the car "Go ahead, I'll be right after you"

I slung the car door open and ran out in the forest. It didn't take long before I smelled a herd of deer. Right now, it was better than anything. I crunched and leaped to the deer that was closest. I took it in seconds. I was going to begin my third when Jake appeared in his wolf form from the woods. He looked surprised.

"I haven't hunt in more that for moths, don't judge me" he shook his head in answer. I was far from satisfied so I decided to stop and breath. I scented more dear and I ran with Jake after me.

After what might had been my tenth deer did Jake nudge my shoulder.

_Are you good now? _he asked. His voice was filled with concern

_Yes, thank you for waiting for me_

_Always. Now, hop up _he said and I looked at him _Don't fight and hop up _he said and I did as he asked.

I rode on his back a while. I'd asked him many times where we where going but he never answered.

When he slowed down his pace did I know we where far from where we'd been before. Then I recognized it. We where at Jake's escape, the little piece of forest that was so important to him.

_Wait here, I'm just going to change _he said and I climbed of him and nodded.

I sat down on the grass and waited for him. I wanted to know where he'd been later and why he looked so happy when he returned, I remember him saying that if it went good he'd tell me what he'd been up to. A smile was pretty good sign.

When he came back of the woods was he buttoning his shirt, but stopped halfway and went to sit down next to me.

"How was it?" he asked looking me in the eyes.

"Good. We… well we talked and came to some agreements. We're going to see if Charlie wanted to help us out by letting me say that I'm his niece and have that as a background story"

"Maybe. He was going to call him and ask, but I think it's okay. Charlie wont mind if I stayed with him"

"Well, that's good, babe" he smiled and leaned closer but I turned away.

"Nuh-huh" I said and he looked confusing at me.

"Did I do something wrong?" he searched for my hand but I hid it.

"No, but you should've told me something" he raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Where were you today?" he sighed and chuckled.

"I was on a meeting" his voice was hiding happiness and now was it my turn to look surprised.

"A meeting?" he nodded "What kind of meeting?"

"A job meeting" my jaw dropped as he said it. I tried to form words but couldn't so he kept talking " You know, now that you're living with me do I have to take care of you. And not only now" he searched for my hand and I gave it to him "Someday, you and I will have our own house, and I want to give you the best" the tears started to appear in my eyes and I blinked them away.

"Jake-" he cut me off quickly.

"No, listen. I don't do this because I have to, I do this because I want to. Sure, I wont have the amount of money you're used to, but believe me when I say I'll do anything to give you everything you want, I promise" he smiled and I smiled back through my tear streamed face.

"You have to know I don't need anything besides you" I took the hand he didn't hold and put it on his face. "But tell me, what job is it?"

"It's not really a job, it's more an investment"

"Investment?" "Yeah this guy is looking for a co-owner to help with his car service business and I went and he thought I was the guy."

I raised my eyebrows in surprise "So you got the job?"

"Yes" his couldn't hide his smile for long "I start Monday"

I was as happy as him "Baby. that's awesome! I'm so proud of you!" I slung myself at him and hugged him. "Congratulations"

"Anything for you, love"

I kissed him and both our lips raising into smiles.

"Let's celebrate" he mumbled to my lips. Yes, this was going to be celebrated. Our kisses increased and I moved closer, trailed my hand along his chest. I found the opening to his shirt and tucked my hand in touching his warm chest.

_Let's go_ he said raising up and taking me with him interrupting the kiss. "I've made a reservation on a restaurant"

I raised my eyebrow "Are there restaurants in Forks?" he quickly unbuttoned his shirt and gave it to me, revealing his bare chest, making me weak kneed. He kissed me "I'll be right back"

When he came back did I immediately climb up on him and we ran to the car.

He'd reserve a table on a really classy restaurant. I looked down and saw my dirty and inappropriate clothes.

Jake looked at me and sighed "I could guess, so I brought you this. Rach helped me"

He gave me a black bag and inside was a red cocktail dress and some black stilettos mom had bought to me.

"I love your sister!" I told him.

He chuckled "I'll wait outside"

He stepped out and I ran to the gasoline stop toilet. I put on the clothes and shoes that looked awesome. The dress was a one shoulder dress in satin with a pretty little black belt. it was tight on my body making my figure to look more mature, I hadn't notice my curves since my last and painful grow spurt. The black shoes made my legs look longer but didn't cut the length of the dress which was four fingers over my knees, the shortest I'd ever used before. I looked so different. I owed Rache big time. She'd even put in a black clutch with makeup, my wallet and a little black jacket. My hair was pretty good so I just combed through it with my fingers and took a quick glance on the mirror before running out to Jake.

He whistled when he saw me "You shouldn't be aloud out in public dressed like that, it's brutally gorgeous" he opened his arms and I entered his warm embrace.

"Blame your sister" I said before kissing him. My hands coped around his neck and face and his stayed at my back.

_We'll be late _

_Who cares? _

He sighed and I gave in "Fine" I stepped in the car and closed the door.

"Black" Jake said when we came to the restaurant. The hostess- a young, pretty woman again- smiled when he saw him but stopped when she saw me.

"Over here" she said just looking at Jake, trying to look for signs that said 'oh, no, I'm not with her'. apparently he saw it to because he took my hand and let me go first.

"Your waitress will come soon" she smiled and left. I didn't know what expression I had on my face but apparently was it funny.

"Baby, relax. You took all the girls in this room as soon as you walked in"

I rolled my eyes and smiled.

Despite the little hostess-incident was everything perfect. The food, the mood, it was like the dream date I never had.

"Hey" I said and Jake looked up from his food "This would be our first dinner date" I said and he whipped his mouth and hand before answering.

"And definitely not the last" he took the glass and raised it "For us, and our forever together" he smiled.

"For us, and forever" our glasses collide in a tone that gave me chills and he leaned to kiss me on a way that made my heart beat increase.

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><p><strong>Hope you liked it and please comment!<strong>

**This will probably be the las chapter I post in a whille- this doesn't mean it ends her people! It's just that i figured i'll probably not write a lot in LA, i wanna enjoy my vacation to max, but yes, it feels bad to not update. And i also have to start writing to my next story, not sure when i will post it though.**

**But if this is the last chapter for summer, i just wanna say that I love you! thanks for comenting and for your support. Love you Forever & Always!**

**See ya as soon as possible!**


	36. So this is what happiness feels like

**heyy guys! How's vacation going? I'm enjoyin this so much! My younger cousin is still in school so we haven't done much so I thought i would write a chapter for you guys. This isn't really an important chapter, just some cozy thing i wanted to write from Jake's POV before the seriousness starts... I've strated to begin fixng the final states of this story which scares me a bit... this is a story that i Love so much and it feels scary to have to put an end to it:( but it's nothing that's coming right away we still have some chapters left so no panic!**

**After this story am I going to post my new FanFic "Welcome to the Adam's- I mean Cullen's" it's a story WAAAAYYYYY diffrent than this one, it's a comedy. If you'd like to have a preview of it could you just write it on a review or PM me... **

**Well, hope you enjoy it and please review!**

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><p><em>So this is what happiness feels like…<em>

I couldn't have planned the night better. It all went smoothly and the over-prized food was actually worth it. We talked and I saw that sparkle in her eye that I love so much, the sparkle I always wanted to see on her.

A subject that last during the entire dinner and even the way home was about our future. Liked talking about it, talking about us. Showing her everything I'd planned, letting her tell me and choose what she wanted. That was everything to me.

It was hard to take my eyes of her and actually focus on the road, she looked stunning. I'd said it to here like a hundred times already.

"Jacob Black, focus on the freaking road!" she yelled and I turned immediately around.

"Yes, ma'am"

When we came to the reservation was everything turned off. Nobody was home. Weird. It was almost midnight, Billy never stayed out 'til this late?

I shook my thoughts off and turned off the engine.

"Thank you for tonight, Jake" Ness looked at me, her face just glowing and it made me smile.

"Anytime for you" I leaned and kissed her forehead.

I stepped out and opened her door. She was waiting for me there, clinging on me as soon as I opened the door. I took her legs with my arms and carried her to the door.

I struggled with opening the door with the key and she just laughed.

When we came in did she jump down, letting the bag she had with her fall with a big sound, turning around to me and jumped, clinging her arms around my neck again and kissing me. She had heels on so it wasn't so hard to keep kissing her, even if she still was shorter than me.

She started to kiss me more intense. Oh, no.

I tried to get loose, not to hard though.

Before I could notice where I kissing her the same way. I couldn't help it. She kept clinging on me and pulled me back, I followed her every move. When she hit the door did I automatically put my hands one her hips. I felt her hands tracing around my chest, filling me with a wave of pleasure. Her hands kept tracing, searching. They came under my jacket and kept moving to my shoulders. She lifted her hands and started to take the jacket of my shoulders. My arms responded by moving out from the sleeves. When the jacket was off did she throw it away and it ended up somewhere far away from where we where. I put my hands on her face, never stopping kissing her. Her hands kept tracing around my chest. I felt a weird motion of her fingers and didn't realize she'd unbuttoned my shirt until I felt her cool hands on my bare chest. Tracing lines and locking on my back. Her kiss became more intense, making it hard to focus. Then she smiled and flashed me with images of us in my bed. I chill went through me and a moan left me without my permission. Then she started to take steps forward , making me move backwards. I felt confused as I kept following her moves. She led us to my bedroom door and I hesitated at the entrance. Where I ready? Or, the most important here, was _she _ready? I knew what I was. I wanted this too, but now?

_Ness…_

_Shut up _she said with an annoyed voice. She kept walking and turned around when we came to the bed, me following her.

_Ness, please. Are you sure that…_

She groaned "What?" she responding out loud made me jump "If I'm sure I want this? If I'm sure I love you? Yes, Jake. I'm sure, I do want this, I do love you." she looked at me, examining my eyes before speaking again "Aren't you?" she said with a lower voice.

I was shocked "Nessie…"

"I knew it" she moved away from me and sat up. I felt confused and sat up too. "You aren't sure of this, you aren't sure if what you feel is real…" she trailed off, never meeting my eyes.

"What are you talking about?" I was once again shocked by what she'd just said. If I wasn't sure? How could she say that?

"Of course I'm sure. I'm sure as hell, baby this is real. It's not a thing, it's not an illusion. Believe me I feel it as strong as you do"

"Then why are you so… not into this?" I had obviously hurt her feelings. I saw it in her eyes, heard it in her voice tone. I took her chin in my hands, making her look at me.

"I love you" I said it slowly for her to get it "I always have and I always will. You don't have to give me or do anything special, just this is enough." I kissed her.

"But, I want to"

I sighed, she just _had _to get Bella's stubbornness.

"What I'm doing, I'm doing it for you" she looked at me "I don't want you to regret it."

"I wont" she kept pleading me with her eyes.

"You know, I hate do bring this up but, I can't. Not now"

Her eyes filled with curiosity and I knew that even if I didn't want to, she'd know what I was thinking about. After all, she'd this lie detector gift thingy.

"Ness, you're young and even though you don't look like it" I trailed off remembering the moment she'd come out of the bathroom looking absolutely gorgeous, but I focused once again in matter of seconds "can it sometimes be hard for me to ignore that fact. I'm trying to, because I know you want to be treated as an adult, but it's difficult." I looked her deep into her eyes, talking slowly and clear. "I want to make you see that I do want you, but that it's a tricky situation and I can't just ignore the fact that you are much younger than you look like. And that honestly freaks me out. I'm afraid of going to fast forward, for you. I could've given in that other night when I came back from patrolling, but I was afraid of you getting hurt."

She kept looking at me and finally put a hand on my cheek.

"Thank you" she let a tear out of her eye and I didn't know if this was motive to freak out or not, but she had said thank you though "Thank you for being the most amazing, wonderful guy on this planet. Thank you for loving me the way you do and thank you for carrying about me" she hugged me and I hugged her back, sighing in relieve. She'd understood, not that I didn't think she would. She didn't lean back from me so I didn't let her go, I didn't want to either. I loved to have her in my arms. Feeling her body together with mine, fitting perfectly there, like two pieces of puzzle that belong together. That was exactly what we where.

"Jacob?" the light knocking on the door made me open my eyes. I felt confused, what the hell happened? Had I fallen asleep? I sat up and looked around. Where's Nessie?

I stepped out of the bed and went to open my bedroom door.

"What?" I said sleepy. Billy was on the other side.

"I'm going fishing"

I looked around and saw that it was early morning, 5 am maybe?

"Where's Rach?"

"With Paul" he was still pissed, I couldn't bother right now.

"Okay" I was about to close the door when he stopped me.

"Jake" I opened the door again "How did it go?"

Right. I hadn't told him jet, only the thought made me happy "I got the job" my voice more clearer.

"That's good, son. Congratulations"

"Thanks"

"Well, I'm leaving. I'll be home by four. Take care of Ness"

"Always, say hi to Charlie" I saw how he left to the front door and clossed. I clossed my door too and headed to bed. When I laid down did three light knockings on the door make me turn around. Ness opened the door and closed it behind.

"Hey, babe" she said walking to me with a playful smile on her face.

"Hello" I couldn't help but smile back "Where did you go?"

"I left before Billy came, you fell asleep"

"I noticed. I looked around the bed and stretched my arms out towards her. She skipped over and sat down on my lap. She wasn't wearing the dress, just some sleep shorts and a short tee that was big that she had one shoulder showing.

"You look comfy" I stated. She had buried her face in my neck, her breathings warming my already hot skin.

"You should get comfy too" she stated and it reminded me that I still had my black pants and unbuttoned shirt on.

"Now?" I asked breathing in her scent.

"Hmmm… I don't want to let you go but… better now than later" she lifted her head and kissed me. She turned around and opened her legs so she was sitting facing me, always kissing me. She put her hands under my unbuttoned shirt and locked them behind my back, I did the same. Then in a quick move had she taken of my shirt completely.

_Renesmee__…_

_Just helping ya'_

she rose up and left the bedroom. I fought against the will of following after her so she could help me with the rest.

She entered again when I was about to pull a black t-shirt over my head.

She took the shirt and threw it away before pushing me down on the bed. This was odd. I was surprised.

She then came and laid next to me, taking my arms and wrapping the around her. I didn't fought against that.

_It's early, should we try to sleep? _she asked not looking at me.

_Sure_ I was honestly tired. Her even, slow and regular breaths where like a lullaby to me and I quickly begun to fall asleep.

"Waky, waky, Jakey" her melodious voice made me rise back to reality.

The smell of food did soon fill the room and I sat up. Her wonderful laugh was like music to my ears.

"I made you breakfast. Hope you like my pancakes" she put the tray with food on my lap and sat down in front of me. "It was too small for two plates, you mind if we share?" I saw one plate and two glasses of milk. I smiled

"Of course not" I took my first pancake. It was warm and tasted wonderful and I moaned in delight.

"I've the best cook of the world! Baby these are delicious!" I swallowed the pancake and kissed her. She giggled.

"I'm happy you liked it"

We kept eating. Talking and laughing. Enjoying each other. Well, I surely enjoyed being with her like this. It was the first time we actually sat down and ate together like this. After I ate did I offer to do the dishes and she went to shower. When she came back where the dishes done and she was wearing the same thing she'd wore before, which surprised me. She probably saw it to.

"I feel comfortable like this. Besides, I'm not planning to do anything special today. Just hang here with you, if you like it"

I couldn't let this opportunity go "I don't like it" she looked at me with surprised and sorry eyes "I love it" she laughed and ran to hug me and I kissed her.

We chose a movie and curled up together on the big couch. I was combing with one hand through her hair and she was drawing designs on my arms. I couldn't pay much attention to the movie, she was too distractive for me. When the movie ended didn't no one of us raise to stop it, we just let the after text roll on until the main menu appeared, and not even then did we do something. About it.

"Jake" she mumbled

"Yes, baby?"

"Could you imagine us when we have our own place, being like this?"

I closed my eyes as she showed me images of her imagination. We where sitting the same way we where now, only in a different house. The sun was shining thought the window and it was warm. I didn't recognize the surroundings and I asked her where we where.

_It's the house we lived in when we where in Brazil. I like that house much more than the others, mostly 'cus it's so open and sunny._

_You'd like to live in a sunny place?_

_Yeah, I like sun. This weather is depressing_

I chuckled _you're right._

She kept showing me the house and it was beautiful. It was open and light, the interior was modern but t the same time, didn't it loose that alive feeling. Many colors and music coming out of speakers. A beach was the back yard and a life full street the back yard. I analyzed clearly all the rooms and all the details. This was the house my love wanted, the one she imagined us in. And I would do everything in my power to give her what she wanted. She was already spoiled, well, I would spoil her more.


	37. Action

**YAAAYY! ANNOTHER CHAPTER!**

**This is a X-POV chapter but after this it will no longer be a X-POV... today... all will be revealed! AAAHHHHH!**

**Tell me what you think, Please review!**

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><p><em>Action<em>

Today's the day. It had all gone smoothly so nothing was against us. We had even get inside allies, like Heidi. She was actually the main key here. And the plan was working perfectly.

His annoying voice called from me through the entire palace. As soon as I entered the room did I see that my trap was working.

"You called?"

"Yes. Where in the world is Heidi with our food?" he tried to sound calm but I knew he wouldn't. the fact that he didn't express his anger disturbed me. The only thing that contented me was that his hunger made him weak. Comparing to us, he hadn't eaten in a long time. Heidi smuggled us the blood while we gave him nothing. Everyone that where on our side where strong, the ones that weren't, well… let's say they don't have a side anymore.

"I'll go and find out" I gave the other two a look for them to prepare for what was soon coming. They walked to him and touched his shoulder and mumbled some comforting words as I left the room.

I ran immediately to his room.

I stormed in and he looked up from his book "It's time for revenge, love"

He smiled and was in front of me kissing me in the same second.

When we came in to the big room again where there no others than them three and us.

"Ah, dear, any news from our Heidi" he rubbed the palms of his hands together nervously.

"Yes" I smiled.

"Perfect"

"She have been feeding us these couple of days while you starved" my voice remained cheerful. He looked confused.

"What are you talking about?"

"That everyone has eaten besides you. My orders"

His eyes changed, he was easier to annoy now that he was hungry but that was easily fixed, I just needed to give them the sign.

"Well, who gave _you _those orders?"

"No one" the cynical tone of my voice seemed to anger him even more.

"Why do you start to take my spot of a leader here? I'm the one who gives orders…"

"Not anymore, _Aro" _his eyes popped out, both of furry and surprise. This was the firs time I'd ever spoken to him as Aro, it had always been master. "You haven't been a leader on a very long time, but I'm going to change that. I'm replacing you"

He laughed without amusement.

"And who would that replace be?"

I did a dramatic pause before smiling "Me"

His face snapped and he flew to me, but I didn't flinch. I gave the guards the signal and they stopped him before he could come close to me.

"Your ungrateful monsters! Your traitors! You're giving you back in me? _I _created you" he looked at everyone and stopped at me "_I_ created _you._ we where supposed to rule this world _together_" his eyes where both pleading and angry.

"Well, I don't want that. You choose me because you liked me, well I don't like you longer "

"It's not what _you _want! I chose you because of your power, or what? Do you think I liked your human? Your miserable life? No dear. You and your life where _nothing _to me. It was your gift, that power that has taken us this far, _that's _what I cared about. If I could only take the power and leave you, I would"

Centuries of humiliation and anger blew up. I felt my body trembling with the furry that was exploding inside me. He never wanted me, then why did he keep me? Or, why didn't he want me to love? If I could cry would tears of anger blow out. But I couldn't, I wasn't aloud to show any human feelings. But it had all grown bigger and bigger… like a balloon…

I screamed. An ear piercing, high pitched scream…

I lost the control and wanted to rip him of right on place, but an arm stopped me. He was just there, arm locked, but laughing.

"Love, relax" Demeteri hushed in my ear.

"YOU! You stay away from…" his face was more than angered

"Why? I don't belong to you anymore" I turned around and crashed my lips against him. A big growl left him and I turned around to see him, getting loose of the guards grip.

"Marcus! Caius!" they flew down and helped.

"You too?" he was hurt by his best friends betray.

"I'm sorry brother" Caius whispered. "But, this is necessary." he nodded and I smiled.

"Enjoy death, yours is closer than ever" I smiled and focused on him.

His screams echoed in the hallow room. I took all my strength to grill him, punish, burn. I was giving him hell right on spot. All these years of misery where paying of.

He kept screaming and twitching. After several minutes of seeing him suffer did I I stop, but slowly. Painfully slowly.

He fell down like the piece of old trash he was.

He looked up and I nodded towards Demeteri.

"Jane…" his last words, only a whisper before my loved ripped his head away from his miserable and disgusting body.

More pieces of his body disappeared and where putted in a corner.

"Take them to the forest" I commanded and everyone did as I said. When only Marcus and Caius where left did I see their sad faces.

"if you're not going to collaborate with me now, you better rip yourselves apart right now so we don't need to do an extra fire" I hissed.

"No, we are on the same side" Caius said quickly.

"Then run!"

We were off after the rest. When we came to the forest where the remains of Aro just a sad memory, a misery.

I took the torch of fire that Demeteri held and threw it on the remains.

A smile crept through my face as I saw him burn, become ashes and nothing else.

Everyone that was on my side where there around, watching the obstacle, the one who had destroyed our reputation, burn and transform into nothing.

I turned around and looked at them.

"Family. This" I pointed at the fire "I the last of our misery. From now on, we wont be seen as joke, now, will we once again be the royalties of our kind. Everyone will respect us, obey our every command. And I, as your leader, wont let you down"

I looked at everyone of them, all agreeing with me.

"And now. Will we finish what made us weak from the beginning. The family that is the cause of our humiliation, will be destroyed"

A gasp went through the multitude. A voice sounded in the far

"How are we supposed to break them? Not even Aro…"

"Aro couldn't against them, because of his compassion. We wont be compassioned."

"But how are we suppose to get them all?"

I smiled '"By touching them where it will hurt the most. When we take away what they've been defending for so long. When we have the girl, the rest will fall like plastic soldiers, one after one. Then, we'll have our reputation back."

Mumbles of disbelief sounded.

"Your miserable monsters!" I yelled " there is _one _we have to take care of! And she's just half as powerful as us! C'mon!"

Demeteri stepped forward "She's right. One freak, what's tht against us? We just have to make sure she's vulnerable, and it will be easy"

"And when are we striking?" a voice said.

"When I give you the signal we'll move. We have to act fast, the power of the little one that sees the future only subjective. If we change, the vision changes. when I decide, will be arrive in matter of hours."

Silence spread around the field where we where.

"Now, return to the castle and be prepared" as soon as I'd spoken those words the field emptied.

"Love, this is it" Demeteri whispered

"Yes. Now, will we get our revenge"

He gave me a soft kiss, but right now, I focused on when our revenge would be.

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><p><strong>Is this who you thought it was? DId you like it?<strong>

**REVIEW!**

**LOVE YA'LL3**


	38. Turning point

**Well, the name tells it all, now you tell me what you think!**

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><p><em>Turning point<em>

The days turned to weeks and I'd soon been here for a month. I talked to my mom frequently, with Edward, not that much. But in the laps of this month had I called him dad once without denying it. He was happy with the little.

Jake had start working and judging by how he came home, it all was going good. The only negative with all this was that I didn't see him as often as before, but we always used the little time we had together well. I enjoyed every second of them as much as I could.

Rachel and Paul got engaged a week ago, talk about party they threw! I had realized that the only thing they both loved besides themselves was partying and to throw them. Anyways, we'd a blast.

Tomorrow is Sam and Emily's wedding. All the bridesmaids- Rach, and I- Where sleeping at the Clearwater's place, Sue had been so kind to lend us her home for the big event. My aunts where coming over to our hair and make-up, Emily's whish. And aunt Alice was more than excited about it. She called just when Emily had decided that. I think Em got a little freaked out about Alice's excitement, but that's my auntie.

It felt weird to leave Jake tonight. These last nights had I always snuck in to his room and we usually stayed and talk until late night and I snuck back to my room before Billy woke up. Rach didn't say anything, we had become like sisters, we covered for each other.

"Ness, are you coming?" she yelled from outside the house.

"One sec!" I was taking out my bridesmaids dress and shoes from the box I'd kept them. When I turned around was Jake leaning on the door to my room.

"I can't believe you're leaving me" he said with a playfully voice. I smiled and dropped the box on the bed.

He walked to me, closing the door behind him. I walked into his embrace that was everything to me. He hugged me tight for several seconds.

"Renesmee!" Rach yelled.

"I said One sec!"

Jake chuckled and I rolled my eyes. "Do you really have to leave?" he said once again.

"It's only on night" I mumbled into his neck.

"One night is to long for me" I looked up and saw deep into his eyes.

"It will be over before we know it" he came closer and lifted me up to his mouth. He kissed me softly and gently, always focusing. Even thought he'd told me the reason to why he was so careful couldn't I help to not feel that way. But I tried for him. He deserved it.

"Renesmee CULLEN!" I sighed and let go of Jake.

"Love you" I whispered.

He kissed my forehead before answering "Love you too"

I took the box and went out to the porch where Rach waiting.

"Happy now?" I said annoyed and she just grinned.

When we came to Sue's was everything set, we hung the dresses and where waiting for Em's last tryout. We'd all seen the dress before, we went to buy it together. When she came out of the room did she look dazzling, the dress was perfect.

"Wow, Em, you look wonderful" Rach was the first to say, the rest of us agreed.

"Thank you. I can't believe this is happening" she said, her voice shook.

"Well, too bad the number of bridesmaids will be less for me" Rach joked.

"Who cares? It's your wedding, you can have Sue as a bridesmaid if you want" I stated. Sue just laughed.

"Oh, Renesmee you're a funny girl" I smiled at her.

"We sat up talking for a while, everyone laughed, the only one having a hard time was Leah. We couldn't kick her out even if she wanted to. Emily had been polite and offered her to be a bridesmaid, but Leah had ended up running of for a week when Em asked. That was when I was told the story behind the Em, Sam, Leah triangle. I'd watched many Spanish soap operas and those weren't even as close dramatic as this. It was a miracle that she'd come back. But no one was sure she'd show up tomorrow.

"Well, I think you should go to bed now" Sue said "It's going to be a long day" we all mumbled in agreement and went to bed.

In my mattress was I laying thinking of Jake. I imagined his face, his warmth, his kisses. I smiled only of the thought and that was the images I had in my head when I fell asleep.

We woke up at seven and ate a delicious breakfast that Sue had made us.

"How are you feeling?" she asked Emily.

"Nervous" she sounded like that to.

"It's alright, everything will be just great" Sue said.

"Leah is not in her bedroom" Rach came after Sue sent her to wake her up.

We all turned around to look at Sue. Her eyes showed pain for a second but then changed. "She's alright, she has probably just went out to take some air" she said smiling, showing the mature and brave woman she was. Event though I just had met her, did I know she was a strong and brave woman and I admired her a lot.

"Where's the bride?" Alice voice was like a melody when she opened the door and stepped into the kitchen with Rose after her.

"Auntie lice, you knock before entering a house" I said ashamed of my aunts impoliteness, but everyone just laughed.

"It's okay, feel like home" Sue said smiling.

"Thank you Mrs. Clearwater. Now, Rose take the bridesmaids and Sue…" Sue's gasp cut her of.

"Me?" Sue said pointing at herself.

"Yes, you to" Alice smiled "And I will take care of you" she said turning to Emily.

"Okay" Em said a bit nervous. I just smiled.

"It will be fine" I said comforting "Alice is great, it's just that Weddings make her… hyper" I said as I saw my aunt running in and out of the house, unloading the car an loading the house with different beauty supplies.

I walked to aunt Rose and gave her a hug before she started to do Rach's hair and makeup. Alice would I have to hug on the wedding. The Cullen's had been invited and Grandpa had gladly accepted the invitation, so everyone was coming. I was secretly happy to see them all again. I'd met everyone during the month, but I hadn't seen them all together since I'd moved out, so I was excited about that.

"You look gorgeous, both of you" Rosalie said when both Rach and I where fixed and dressed.

We went for and loose up-do, very soft and bohemian in a way. We had to locks on each side of the head that fell softly to the side. It went perfectly with the long, strapless, midnight blue dress that Em had chosen to us.

"Thanks to you" I said and turned to Rosalie and hugged her again.

"Edward will get a shock when he sees you like that, you look grown up" she stated, turning me to face the mirror once again.

"Hopefully, he sees that too" I sighed and Rose just laughed.

"Here comes the Bride!" Alice sang and my jaw dropped when Emily appeared.

Her wedding dress was wonderful. She hadn't chose the typical princes one, but a very hippie style one. It had spaghetti stripes and had a corset with a beautiful flower pattern. Then it flowed down perfectly with an long straight skirt and the trail followed.

She had a messy, fish bone, side braid with a white flower on the side, she looked beautiful.

"Wow" I said looking at her "Em, you look beautiful"

"Thank you" she said and I hugged her. When she leaned away did she sweep a tear out of her eyes.

"Please, Emily. No tears! I don't want your makeup to smudge and I have to get dressed to you know. Oh, hi Ness" we all laughed at Alice who didn't get why we all where laughing.

After my aunts left where we all trying to collect us from the excitement.

Charlie was going to pick us up in a black Mercedes that Edward had given him some day ago when the police car had to go to service.

"A sheriff needs the best" had he said and Charlie accepted that.

"A bit faster grandpa?" I said as we crawled through the streets to the church.

"I'm the sheriff!" he responded, obviously nervous.

"Well, then give yourself a ticket and move!"

Eventually did we come to the church and we all helped Emily out of the car.

"I'll go and tell them to start the music" Rach said and went to the door to signal. I was leading the train and Rach would follow. After would Emily come.

The music played and the doors open. I did a pause before walking. I saw my family sitting all in one road, their eyes wide, specially Edwards. Then I saw Jake standing next to Sam and Paul, he was a best-man. I smiled and started to walk.

As I walked to the aisle, with my tiny bouquet in hand, couldn't I help imagine that I was the one getting married and that Jake was waiting for me. That thought filled me with happiness. I saw how Jake smiled as I came closer, maybe he was thinking the same thing.

When Rach and I had come to our spot did Emily's music start. Everyone stood up and the doors opened.

Emily looked so wonderful and graceful, all dazzling and sparkly in her own way. I couldn't help but smile as I watched her walk to the aisle and to Sam.

The ceremony went smoothly. My eyes went from Emily and Sam, to Jake and my family. I couldn't wait to give them a hug each. This experience had made me realize that my family was my family no matter what. And even though I had rejected them, did I want them to share this moment with me in a future. I forgave them right on spot and couldn't wait to tell them.

As the ceremony proceeded was it time for the vows. Emily Was first.

"Repeat after me" the pastor said. In that instant did I look up to see Jake right in the Eyes. I repeated the vows together with Emily.

"I Emily Young"

_I Renesmee Carlie Cullen_

"Take you, Sam Uley"

_Take you, Jacob Black_

"to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part."

We said it together. I saw Jake smile grow wider and I gestured a quick 'I love you'

He did exactly the same thing when it was Sam's turn and he did also mount and 'I love you' at the end.

Sam and Emily changed rings and I couldn't help but getting emotional about it, they both looked so happy.

"I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride" in that second, when they kissed, was the room filled with applauses and cheers.

The music played and they turned around and started to walk out. I walked to meet Jake and enlaced my arm in his.

_Hello, Mrs. Black _he joked and I giggled.

When we passed my family couldn't I help but smile, but I saw Edward's stern look. But I didn't care, I was happy now.

The reception was hold on the beach under an lighted tent. The weather was pleasant, to hot for being Forks. People where fanning and somewhere was my grandpa Charlie blaming 'the dang global warming'.

I met up with my family and that was the only time I left Jake's side. We sat on the table with Sam and Emily. My family had their own table not far away.

I approached them and gave them a hug each, first my mom and then Edward.

"Honey, you look wonderful" mom said with a thick voice, my wonderful mom.

"Thank you"

"She's right. My baby is all grown up" Edward said.

"Whoa, did you just say that?" I looked at him who smiled.

"I guess I did" I gave him a hug before hugging everyone else.

"Guys, I wanted to tell you that…" I started when I'd hugged everyone.

"Honey, it's alright. We know what you're going to say." Grandpa Carlisle said "We want to apologize for being the way we have with you, and we promise we wont hurt you they way we have ever again."

I smiled and a tear fell.

"Thank you grandpa. Thank you aunties and uncles, thanks mom and… Dad" I said and looked at them "I love you" I hugged my parents.

"We love you too" My dad said, just the two of us hugging, he laughed.

_what?_

"Your husband's waiting" I looked surprised up and saw his playful eyes and saw him looking at Jake. I gave him a quick kiss before going to Jake.

"Everything okay?" he said and I hugged him.

"Everything is perfect" I took his hand and walked to our seats.

As the party proceeded as normal didn't I move from Jake's side. We were having a blast, dancing and eating. In one hour had we danced techno, cha cha cha, samba and salsa. We where all exhausted. We had have a intern competition with my parents to see who could dance the best. And I loved it.

"Let's slow down" the DJ said and a calm son played.

"Shall we?" my dad asked mom and she rose up. I stayed with Jake on our chairs looking at my parents dance.

When another song played did Jake rise up.

"Where are you going?" I asked.

"This is our song, let's go Mrs. Black" he said. I didn't think twice.

We danced, or more rocked gently, to the tones of Howie Day's 'Collide'.

"This is our song?" I said.

"Yeah, the beginning is what I feel every morning when I see you. " I smiled and put my head on his chest.

We kept dancing through the whole song in the same position, now and then did he bent down to kiss the top of my head.

When the music stopped did I for the first time look up and saw that my parents where observing us from outside the dance floor. Dad had his arms around my mom while her fingers where tangled In his. She had a long, cream-colored dress and her hair pulled to the side, she looked amazing.

I smiled and waved at them and they did the same.

_C'mon _I said and grabbed Jake's hand and dragged him to my parents.

Their faces where glowing as they saw me coming, not showing any type of rejection against Jake. They had no reason to. He'd done so much for me and they where thankful.

We where close when Alice suddenly appeared in front of us.

"Edward!" she hissed and froze. I hurried with Jake after me.

"Alice, what's…"he trailed off, a terrified looked spread all over his face.

"Edward, what is it?" mom asked worried.

My dad didn't reply but I just saw his eyes on me.

I saw hoe Alice started to look around bewildered.

"Alice, what's wrong…" I grabbed her arm to turn her around when I suddenly wasn't on the beach anymore.

"_Leave me alone!" I screamed at the darkness that surrounded me. I looked around trying to see who I was screaming to but I saw no one. _

"_Who are you?" I screamed once again. Feeling the desperation grow bigger and bigger._

_Renesmee! I recognized Jake's voice. I started to look around but I was submerged in darkness._

_I the felt that I wanted to run to him. I was preparing my body to run, but I was frozen. As much as I tried couldn't I move an inch._

"_Calm down princess" a female voice said. But it wasn't an old voice, it was the voice of a kid._

"_You leave her alone!" Jakes words echoed in the hollow space._

_In that second was my body filled with acid, fire and boiling oil. I screamed. I was in flamed! I couldn't stand upright, and I felt how I fell down to the ground. It was cold, rain. But not even that could help against the fire that was consuming me. I wanted to die. Anything that would get me out of this would be accepted, even death. But deaths seemed to have fled, it was nowhere. A ear piercing scream echoed. And not until my throat was burning did I realize it was mine. I felt how my throat was in pain besides the burning, and I tasted blood in my mouth._

"_RENESMEE!" Jake's scream of despair joined mine of pain._

"_Easy dog" the childish voice repeated. Short after was Jake screaming too…_

"Ness? Nessie, please wake up!" I heard the voice of my family in the far away. I wasn't burning anymore so I guessed I had been watching a vision.

I slowly opened my eyes and focused on Jake's face that was closest.

"Baby, come back, please!"

I moaned as I tried to look for my dad.

"Dad? Was that a vision?"

His face, the same terrified look on it appeared. "Yes"

I fought to sit upright and Jake helped me. "Where's Alice?"

"She left" mom said patting my arm. I didn't realize I was shaking before I felt Jake hugging me.

"Shh, honey. It's okay, everything will be fine."

Hot tears started to stream down my face. "I want home" I said in a sob.

"I'll take you home" he kissed the top of my head.

"You mind if you take me to the cottage?" I felt how he stiffened but relaxed shortly.

"Of course not. Wherever you want"

He lifted me up and I remained in his arms.

"My car, I'll drive" mom said and led the way. Jake followed shortly after.

We entered the car. Jake went in the backseat with me. Mom shut the door and the light turned off.

I filled with panic. I felt that the darkness was going to make me start burning once again.

"Jake, turn on the lights!" I screamed. He did that immediately.

"What's wrong honey?" mom asked.

"Nothing, I just don't want to be in the dark'" I said trying to ignore my thick voice "Please take me home" I pleaded.

Mom started the engine and we where off.

I had never been it. Never feared it. But now I did. I'd found my enemy. I was afraid of being consumed alive by the dark.


	39. Authors note!

**Helloo everyone! How are we doing? I'm fine! Enjoying this a lot:D**

**Well I just wanted to say a quick 'Hello' and that a new chapter is coming soon, I promise! I feel SO BAD about leaving you witht hat cliffy, but I haven't have time for writing. But I'm on it, and I'll update soon, hopefully today. I'm going to do everything in my power to write and give you a good chapter.**

**Thank you so much for your patients and understanding and for sticking out with me.**

**Love you and you'll always have a special place in my heart.**


	40. Escape

**Hello! Finally it's here! Sorry again and hope you Enjoy it.**

**Ps. Dont stop reviewing :D**

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><p><em>Escape<em>

Everybody was at the main house when we arrived. There was a silent conversation going on in the room.

"How could you see her future?"

"Do you know who it is?"

"You think you could do it again?" Alice was being grilled with questions and I just saw her bewildered and frustrated expression.

"Hey! Knock it off!" everybody turned around to look at me. I walked towards Alice that was sitting on the couch, looking miserable. I sat down next to her and gave her a hug. The room was silent you could only hear her tearless sobs.

"I'm so sorry, Nessie"

"No, auntie, it's okay." I hushed in her ear as I tried to hold back my own tears.

"No, Ness, it's not. I can't help you. I don't see what is going to happen besides that moment. I don't know when it's going to happen, I can't do anything to avoid it…"

"No you can't. But _we_ can. We've always helped each other out and we'll do it again" I took her head in my hands and made her look me in the eyes "You're not alone. You have us"

She nodded and I hugged her again. She let go of me and I raised up to see the rest of the family in the eyes.

"Okay. We don't know the attacker, but I know that it's a girl. A child"

Everybody froze.

"Alice, can you see if the Volturi is behind this?" grandpa Carlisle said.

Alice focused. "I see Aro…"

I heard glass break into pieces. I turned around and saw the broken vase that my dad had thrown across the room. He was looking furious. I had never seen his face like that. I got scared.

"Son, what is it?" grandpa was next to him holding his shoulders and trying to calm him. But he was everything but calm. His fist where closed and you could see how his hands became paler.

"It isn't Aro" he hissed. "Aro is dead"

A gasp went through the room.

"Are you sure…"

"Yes" he hissed "He was killed by rebels"

"What do you mean by rebels?" grandpa asked.

"A group was forming, those who didn't like the exceptions he made."

I looked around at all the confused faces. Trying to get anything of what my dad was talking about. But I didn't get anything. It was to confusing for me.

"What do you mean with 'the exceptions he made'?" mom asked.

He didn't answer, just throw a glance at me. And I understood that.

"He was killed because of me?" I whispered.

"No, baby, it wasn't your…" dad was cut off.

"Can someone explain what the hell is going on?" Jake said both annoyed and afraid.

I walked to him and explained the little pieces I'd understand.

"Damn it!" he hissed. "Can't they just stay away from us for _once?"_

"But as I see it" Carlisle started "Isn't it the Volturi's plan…"

"It's Jane" Alice said from nowhere. "She's after Nessie"

Another thing flew to the wall, this time, was it my mom.

"Bella calm…" Dad tried to calm her in vain.

"NO, Edward, I'm not calm! That _witch _is after my daughter!"

"I know dear but…" he turned his voice to a whisper and I couldn't hear anything.

I looked up at Jake and he came to sit next to me. I hid my face in his chest.

_Jake, I'm scared. _I was sobbing in my mind.

_Don't be. Everything will be fine, I promise. I'll do everything so that little freak won't come near you. _His voice was smooth and comforting. It calmed a bit but I still didn't feel completely calm. I was far from calm. But I didn't tell him.

We stayed in the living room as my dad tried to calm my mom and Alice struggled with seeing more visions.

"Can you see anything more?" Jasper asks calmly. She got this calm expression on her face so I guess Jazz calmed her down.

"No. Not even from Jane."

"But it's sure she's coming?" Rose said.

"Yes. But she hasn't decide when. It's like she's waiting for someone to take the first step."

"Well if that's the case" Carlisle interfered "Do we have to be extra careful with our decisions. We don't know if she has sent any spies"

The room became silent once again and I starting to feel panic.

The fact of not knowing when she was coming was worse than knowing she was coming at all.

I looked around in the room. Took a clear look on all my beloved's faces. I love this bunch of people. And they love me. They are all waiting for an attack because of me. This wasn't fair. They had face death too many times and I didn't want them to face it once again. This might me one time too much, we might not have as much look.

I focused on not revealing my thoughts to my dad. But a plan was forming in my head.

_Jake, don't you think we should warn the pack? I mean, they can help us keeping an eyes of things too._

He nodded slightly and I turned to watch my dad.

"Okay. Emmett take the car and…"

"No" Emmett and I complained at the same time. We where standing next to each other.

"Dad I can handle my self…" I said

"Dad, I don't want to go on babysitter duty" Emmett nagged with a child's voice.

He rose an eyebrow at us "You're impossible"

_C'mon _I said to Jake.

"Honey, be careful" mom said.

"Yeah, mom. I'm with Jake. What can happen?"

We walked to the car and drove to the reservation.

By the treaty line, did I know I was safe to speak.

"Jake, stop the car"

"What is it`"

I turned to face him and waited some seconds for my eyes to adjust to the darkness.

"Jake, this is all my fault" those words made my eyes fill with tears. Some seconds later was I crying and sobbing like a kid someone had hit.

Jake hugged me "Baby, calm down. Shh, it's alright" he rocked and hushed in my ear.

"I can't! My family and your family is in danger because of me." I took a deep breath and tried to calm down. "I don't want them to fight for me"

He kept silence and waited for me to talk.

"Jake, I don't know why she's after me, but for whatever reason that is, I wont let my or your family fight"

"What are you talking about?"

"I wanna escape." His eyes popped out as I said it "I've my fake passport and I made one for you. Let's go to somewhere sunny. If she has spies out here, they'll see that I'm not here anymore, then they wont come here and our family's will be safe" my voice was lower than a whisper now.

"And what will be do next?" he said with some disbelief.

"we'll think about it then. The important thing here is to not let our family's fight"

He made a pause, analyzing my words.

"We'll fight her together." he said firmly.

_No way_

"Together" my mind changed in one second.

Jake took my hand and we drove to the reservation.

We stopped in front of the door.

_Pack a bag when you go to your room and leave it in the car._

_Okay._

We stepped in and where encountered by Billy, Rach, Paul, Sam, Sue and Emily. Jake had called everyone and he was the one that gave them the news.

"I'll put up a group to go patrolling immediately" Sam said.

"Thank you, Sam. I'll tell my family and they'll probably join you."

I stayed in the living room while Jake went for some clothes. He used the excuse of sleeping in our house today.

Before leaving I turned to Em "Sorry for ruining you wedding night"

"No, sweetie its okay." she gave me a hug and Jake and I left.

"The wolfs are going to run patrol, I think you should join them." I said when we came back. This lead to an extreme intense look from my dad "you know just to be sure"

"Edward, she's right. She might have sent spies. Or she maybe is here already"

The words made my dad look up straight.

"You're right, Carlisle. Let's do like this. Emmett, Rose, Carlisle and I will run patrol. Esme, Alice and Bella, you go hunt as we'd planned, but stay close to the house." They all nodded in agreement.

"I'm putting my Pj's on" I said and left to my room.

But I wasn't putting my pj's. I was preparing my bag to when we left. I looked for the passports and hid them deep inside the bag. I took some money. I took out cash to not need to use my credit card. And I had enough to survive. On Cullen standards.

I pulled my robe on and went downstairs. I wanted to see my family once. Maybe it was the last.

I fought with my tears on the way down.

"Bye, honey. We'll see each other soon" she hugged me and I hugged her back, hard and long.

"Bye honey"

"Bye dad" I said hugging him _I love you, you know that right?_

"Yes" he kissed my forehead before leaving.

I gave a hug to everyone. Even Emmett. That and a punch after he said "Don't break the bed kids"

We waited fore ten minutes before I went upstairs and took the bag.

"Are you ready?" he asked when I came back.

"Yes" I took the keys to my moms Ferrari and gave them to Jake.

"Whoa, Ness. If they found out…"

"We need to get there fast. And the Ferrari is fast so,,," I walked to the garage and he followed hesitating after.

I opened the garage door and we flew out of the garage. The street was empty so Jake drove as fast as possible. Really fast.

We came to the airport ten times faster than usual. I had the passports in my hand and Jake's hand on the other.

We walked to the first airline counter we saw.

"Excuse me, when does the next flight to Los Angeles leave?" I asked the man- for once- that was behind the counter.

"They just started boarding"

"Can I have to first class tickets to that flight please?"

He looked at me suspicious

_play along _I told Jake. "Sir, my grandma is really sick and… and…" I started to sob slightly "We don't know if she'll make it"

His expression changed "Of course, Miss. Your passports"

I gave him our passports and he started to type our names on the computer.

We got the tickets and went to the flight. We where just in time.

The first class section was pretty much empty.

When we where in the air did I unbutton my seatbelt and laid my head on Jake's lap.

I now let my tears out, I had nothing to hide from Jake. He knew my feelings. Silent tears went down my face as I remembered my family.

But I had still one treasure to protect and I would protect him. Even if he liked it or not.


	41. Shout out!

**Helloo everybody! Just wanted to do a shout- out. I've created a Twitter account especially for this and upcoming stories. There will I write news about the story and one and another preview;) so if u have twitter and want some extra updates make sure to follow JessiAndNo1Else :) see ya! **


	42. Yours

**HEY! This chapter was supossed to be upload yesterday but my internet didn't. This is actually my favourite, and I really hope you like it. Honest hour: I actually cried.**

**I've read through all the story and I can't believe how suportive all of you have been. And I can't explain much I love you. Thank you, thank you, thank you...**

**Well hope you like this chapter as much as I did writing it!**

**Oh, and dont forget to follow JessiAndNo1Else on twitter for updates on this and futurw stories!**

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><p><em>Yours<em>

"Ness, we're here" Jake's soft voice woke me up from my sleep I hadn't notice I'd fallen in to.

I sat up from my laying position, every single muscle cramped in protest to my movements.

"You okay?" Jake asked me. I just nodded in response. I rose up at the same time as he but he put a hand on my shoulder, making me sit down once again.

He took our bags in one shoulder and then bent down to carry me. I didn't protest.

"You wanna check in on a hotel?" the words made me wake up straight.

Before I'd fallen asleep had I been planning the second escape. _My _escape. There was no way that I'd let Jake fight with me against Jane. I just couldn't imaging letting him stand there with me as she took booth of us. I'd seen the vision. I'd seen that she'd attacked both of us. We where chanceless. And it just didn't fit in my mind letting him suffer like that.

"Let's ask for the hotel that's closest to the airport." I told him as we walked to a turism counter.

It turned out there was one only 10 minutes away so we decided to go for that one. We got the suit and the man behind the counter tried the hardest to act professional as I gave him the sum of the room, in cash.

We denied the help to get our bags up the room, mostly because we hadn't much with us.

As soon as we where in the room did I walk to Jake and let myself be submerged in him. I let his arms warm me and let me escape this nightmare for one second.

"Everything will be fine, I promise" he whispered into my ear as he rocked me in his embrace.

"Give me a second" I said as I got out of his hug and went to the big bathroom. As I closed the door behind me did I slide down along with the wall until I was sitting on the floor.

I put my head on my knees as I started to cry once again. But as I cried did my mind start to live its own life. It started to plan, to think, to figure things out and puzzling things together.

One thing was clear. I would not let Jake fight for me. That's it. But there where other things that needed to be thought through carefully.

It was still dark, around midnight. I'd leave in the morning, before he woke up. I'd take the first flight to my old house, to the only place I had ever felt secure. There would I go, and there would I stay until I was completely sure she wouldn't go near Forks.

I tried to collect myself before leaving. I took a look in the mirror and the sight made me decide to wash off my makeup immediately.

"I thought you'd never get out" Jake said trying to sound relaxed and funny. And I appreciated that.

"Sorry, you want to take a shower?"

"Yes, I don't like this flying thing" he kissed my forehead before closing the bathroom door.

A sting of pain filled my shoulder as I kept looking at the closed door that hid my love. Tonight would be our last night. I mean, this could mean the end. We might never see each other again. Never ever.

I gripped my chest, surprised over the force that thought had on me.

I sat down on the king size bed as I recalled memories of Jake and I together. All the times I'd given him my hand and he had taken it without hesitation. All the times I'd walked into his arms and he had taken me in without thinking twice. All the times he'd laughed into my ear. Every time I'd heard his voice in my head. Every time he'd kiss me, whether it had been just a little kiss or a passion filled one, I could still recall the force and the chills it sent through me. Even now, right here, could I remember how he tasted. The soft movements of his lips against mine. How the corners of his lips rose up to a smile under mine. Every memory was so clear, so vivid. I don't think that death would be able to erase those memories, which I somehow glad me. I had this tiny amount of hope that I would be able to remember these things even while dead.

I wasn't sure of what death would be like. I remember asking my mom once when I was younger. She'd said that death was peaceful, quiet. Yes. Even through that peaceful sleep call death, I would definitely remember all these things. All the moments I'd spent with Jake. Not even death would be able to erase that.

But there was one memory that I hadn't and that I wanted badly. There was one thing that I felt I had to do before leaving him. I wanted to show him how much I really loved him. I wanted to love him.

I went to my bag and opened it. There was what I looked for.

I undressed and putted on the silky night gown I'd worn that day when Jake had come back from the awfully long patrol. The very first time I'd ever felt such strong emotions towards him.

I could hear that the water had stop falling from the shower. It would be a though fight, but I would win it. I collected all the candles I could find in the room and lighted them up as I killed the lights. The shadows of the little, dancing flames of the candles spread around the room making it look cosy and welcoming, just what I wanted.

I sat on the side of the bed, not trying to look to seductive. Just wanted to sit there, just wanted to wait for him.

Each second that passed made my heart beat harder. It was like it would flew out of my chest at any second.

The bathroom door opened and Jake appeared only wearing pants and with a towel rubbing his hair. He was perfect. His beauty left me breathless and made my heart pound even harder. I felt light headed as I tried to look calm.

A slight whistle left his wonderful lips as he looked at me. "I haven't seen that one in a while" he put the towel on the back of a chair.

"Jake, come" I said and stroke my hand on the side of the bed, indicating him to sit next to me.

His facial expression changed but he came to me.

"What's wrong?" it was like he could see right through me, something was wrong.

I stayed silent for a while as I saw the dancing light of the candles showing of his face on such a wonderful way. He looked different in their light, he looked softer, like he was made of the most fragile material existing. Still, the strongest and most wonderful marble statue. This amazing person that would do anything for me belonged to me. And I wanted to belong to him.

"Can you do me a favor?" I looked down at my hands as I said it.

"Of course. Anything" he replied with the most sincere voice.

I looked up and looked straight into his eyes. His dark hair was still wet and the water moist my hair as I moved closer and put my forehead on his. Connection us.

"Love me" I whispered, taking a deep breath of his own and wonderful scent.

"I do love you" I heard he hadn't quite understand what I was trying to say.

"It's not what I'm talking about." I felt him move under my forehead.

"I don't understand" he said bewildered.

I moved my head away from him and looked him straight into his brown, warm eyes. I saw the water drops that where slowly coming down the side of his face. For some reason did I stretch out my finger and caught one on its way down. I kept my hand on his face as I once again turned to look into his eyes.

I moved closer. Carefully approaching my head to his. Silently moving forward. Loving touching his lips as they came in contact with mine. I kept my movements soft and careful. My hand slid down to his neck and caressed it gently, just like the kiss.

_Love me _I said once again in his head. I felt how he moved away from my lips, but his head remained close.

"Renesmee, please…"

"No, Jake. I can't. The fact that I feel like we only have hours left together… I can't. I want you Jake. Even if it's just for tonight. Just for this short amount of time, I want you like I've never wanted something else. Please" I pleaded feeling the tears stream down my cheeks.

He lifted up his hand and stroke the tears away.

"Renesmee…"

"Jacob…"

He sighed "Is that what you really want?"

I looked up at him "It's the _only _thing I want"

He remained silent, but never let his eyes of mine.

I couldn't believe the wave of happiness that filled me as I saw his face coming closer.

Our lips met halfway. Started to move together in a perfect dance that increased in tempo as our passion for each other took over. As the desire took over our bodies.

I locked my arms around his neck and he locked his on my back. I pulled him down just as much as he took me down with him. This just showed me that he wanted this just as much as I did.

My back felt the mattress and his arms disappeared from my back just to show up on my shoulder and arm. My hands slid down his chest, following the contours of his well defined torso, his strong body, my comfort.

His lips left mine, trailing kisses down my neck, sliding gently through my collar bone, doing a stop by the stripe of my night gown. I felt his mouth open slightly and how his teeth gently gripped the strip and slid it down my shoulder. I couldn't help but shiver with delight.

He placed a kiss on the edge of my shoulder and then returned back to kissing my lips, this time more fiercely.

My hands kept sliding down his body that belonged to some Greek God, yet it was soft and warm. I felt how his hand searched for the other stripe and how he found it and slide it down. I started to run my fingers down to the side of his pants, searching and finding. I unbuttoned and unzipped swiftly, more swiftly than I thought.

He quickly made a move, making me sit upright. Kneeling in front of ach other.

He did a pause in the kissing, looked me in the eyes. I just smiled.

He crashed his lips to mine again. I finished taking of his pants as he looked for the night gown. When he found it did he pull it over my head, revealing my body to him.

I thought I would blush, but I didn't. He looked up on me and I looked at him. I put my hand on his bare chest and looked him deep in the eyes.

_I'm yours now. And I would be yours for eternity. But eternity isn't enough._


	43. Cutting out my heart

**Hello my dear readers! First of all, thank you for the reviews to last chapter _Yours. _I'm so happy you liked the chapter as much as I did. Thank you, thank you, thank you!**

** Then I wanted to apologize for not updating, many of you have pointed that out. I've had trouble with submiting the chapter to the Doc Mananger. This chapter was actually finished 4 days ago but due to troules with the site, i wasnt able to upload it. But here it is. This is not over as some have asked me. We still have some chapters left. OMG... I'm getting so emotionla about this. This is such an important story for me and the support you all have been giving to me is beyond what I could ever imagine! I owe you all big time!**

**Now, let's continue with this story before I start to bawl...**

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><p><em>Cutting out my heart<em>

We where laying face to face next to each other. Our bodies tangled in each other under the sheets. In this darkest of moments couldn't I feel more happy. And he knew it. And I knew he was happy too.

_Is it possible to love you more now than I've ever done before? _I asked him and smiled.

_I do. I always love you more than the day before. _And as he said did he lean closer. Kissing me once again.

I put my hand on his face and kissed him to.

_One more time?_ Before I knew it was I on my back once again.

I ran my finger up and down his arm. Grabbed and released my fingers from his. Drawing designs softly on the palm of his hand. Breathing together with him.

Of all the candles I'd lit up where some sending a soft sent of strawberries and some of vanilla. I took a deep breath of that scent that would remind me of this night forever.

_Jake?_

_Yes, love?_

_Do you remember the first time we talked on the phone? When I called you?_

_Of course I do. That was the beginning of the best days of my life._

I smiled _And do you remember our first walk on the beach?_

_I would never forget that._

_Oh, and do you remember that day, you now when we first kissed, and when we came home Rose saw your ripped t-shirt?_

_Oh, yes! I remember. You can't imagine how freaked out I was! I thought that Edward might have seen it and in any second would go after my head or something._

We both laughed at the memories. And we remained like that. But I had to leave soon and that sent a feeling of sadness all over me.

I started to fill Jake's head with images of the two of us. From the very first time we'd met at Charlie's until some seconds ago. Always telling him I loved him. At the end of every memory.

Eventually, he felt asleep. But I couldn't make myself leaving him alone in the bed. But I had to. I forced my legs to obey me and take me out of the bed.

The air outside the sheets and far from Jake's body was cold and chilly. I didn't like it. The cosy bedroom did now feel scary and cold.

I found the night gown on the floor and pulled it over before sprinting quietly to the bathroom and took a quick shower. I did all in silence to not wake Jake up. Well I could've done all the things with the natural noise and even more and Jake wouldn't wake up, but I couldn't take that risk.

As I dressed my jeans and black button-up shirt couldn't I help but turne to look at Jake's face. So peaceful and beautiful in his sleep and even with a smile on his lips. Just like I wanted to see him. Happy.

I swiftly went around the room blowing out the candles. By the nightstand was there a piece of paper, an envelope and a pen.

I thought twice before starting to write the note. As I wrote the second sentence where my tears already flowing heavily. I couldn't help it. I was actually happy I left like this, leaving him a note. Instead of facing him. It might made me look like a coward, but I was. I didn't dare to face him. To look him deep in the eyes and then leaving him. I wouldn't have been able to look at him and tell him everything that was on my mind at this moment. Writing them down was hard enough.

I licked the envelope that contend my tear soaked note and some cash. Well, a lot of cash. This room was pretty expensive after all and I just couldn't let him pay for it all himself.

I put the note on the pillow where my head had been.

I walked around the bed and was standing over him. He was laying on the side facing the note. It would be the first thing he'd see when he woke up. By then I'd- hopefully- be on a flight to Maine.

I bent down slowly and placed a soft kiss on his forehead, taking a lungful of his scent. Then I kissed his lips with the same softness and put an _I love you _in his dreams. I saw he got it as his lips rose to a wider smile. A quiet tear left my eye and landed on his cheek. I quickly kissed away the tear before walking away.

I grabbed the bag that was by the entrance and left the room quietly without looking back.

"Awake already, Miss Wolfe?" the receptionist from yesterday asked.

"Eh, yeah." my voice sounded thick with the tears that I was trying to swallow. "I've to catch and early flight, I've to visit my grandma." I lied very easily.

"And your… eh… Partner?" he said a bit hesitative.

"He'll catch up with me" that lie was harder to tell.

"Oh, well. Have a pleasant flight and hope you enjoyed your stay"

"Thank you"

I quickly turned around and left the lobby. I jumped on a cab and went to the airport.

I bought my ticket to a first class flight to Maine, I'd drive the rest of the way to the old house that was in a town about three hours away so I'd rent a car by the airport.

_First-class passengers, please aboard now, thank you._

the speaker voice called.

it was a bit embarrassing to board that flight. Not only where there only a handful of people in the waiting room, I was the only one that was in first class.

"Who flies first-class to Maine?" a lady told her friend. I ignored them and walked to counter and gave the woman my boarding card and passport. I got a bit sweaty as she opened it and read it, praying she wouldn't see anything, but again, I'd fly with that passport before without any trouble.

"Thank you. Have a pleasant flight Miss" the woman smiled warmly.

"Thank you" I whispered and boarded the flight.

I put my hand luggage on the counter above the seat and then put myself comfortable on my seat. I had to pretend I was comfortable.

I was reading a magazine as the rest of the passengers started to board the flight. Nobody paid much attention to the brat in first class, except the lady from before.

"She. She's the one that was carrying the Louis Vitton handbag." she whispered "And if I'm not wrong, those Jimmy Choo's aren't available until next years spring collection"

I looked down at my black ankle boots that Alice had bought me not to long ago. How had she managed to get them so early? Well, it was Alice after all.

I let the thoughts of the boots wander away as the captain started to speak. The fly attendants showed how to properly put on the breathing mask in case of change in the plane, bla bla bla.

The plane started to move and soon enough where we in the air.

I saw the early sun of California rise up along the coast. I'd give anything to have the opportunity to experience the dawn with Jake in the hotel room.

The thought of him alone in that room made my tears spill over and soon enough was I sobbing.

"Miss, are you okay?" a blond flight attendant asked me.

I whipped away my tears with the back of my hand quickly "Yes, I'm just thinking of…" _the love of my life alone in an hotel room, my family left in another state because of me _"my grandma" I told the woman the lie but told myself the truth in my head.

"What's wrong with her?"

_A vicious and vengeance filled vampire is after me for reasons I don't know about. And I'm going out to fight her and… _"She's really sick. She might not make it" _I might not make it. _the thought of me saying that made fresh tears blur my sight.

"Oh, that's really sad. You must be devastated.

"Yes" _No. I'm scared._

The attendant smiled warmly at me "But you'll see it will all be just fine"

"Hopefully" _The chances are low._

"Could I get something for you?" the woman asked.

_Could you bring me my mommy, daddy and the rest of my family? Could you bring me Jake? Could you go face the vampire instead of me? Could you do that for me? _"No" I said as a response to both the girl and my inside pleading.

"Okay. Let me know if you need anything"

I nodded and the woman continued on to the rest passengers.

I closed my eyes and let the tears flow over. I had no reason to hide my pain.

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><p><strong>Hope you liked it and you'll have a chapter up soon;)<strong>

**SHOUT OUT: Don't forget to follow JessiAndNo1Else on twitter for updates**

**AND: Do anyone of you do bete reading? I would Really need someone to help me out with spelling on a new tory that is coming up as soon as this one is doen? If you do beta or maybe feel that you've thecapacity of correcting my spelling don't hesitate on PM me.**

**LOVE**


	44. Desperation

**Hey again! This is a more quickly update ;) This is from Jake's POV and takes place after Nessie has left and while she's on the plane. This is what happened during her way to Maine. Next chpater is going to be from an outsiders POV, you'll find out, eventually.**

**BUT... If you want to have a short preview of the chapter... Follow (at)JessiAndNo1Else on twitter for a preview! I'll write it as son as I post this, or so I hope:)**

**Well, i wont take more of your time, I know many are iching fore more...**

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><p><em>Desperation <em>

I felt the heat and the light hit my face. Which was weird. It was to hot and to sunny for being Forks. And then I remembered. The smell of strawberries and vanilla opened my mind.

I couldn't help but smile at the thought of what happened last nigh, right here.

I thought of my Nessie, my beautiful Nessie. Her lips, her touches, her body over all. She was just wonderful. And I was lucky enough to have her. To be able to hug her and kiss her. To have her next to me in this right moment.

I didn't open my eyes, I wanted to surprise her.

I carefully stretched my hand across the bed searching for her hand.

I stretched my hand for what felt for an eternity just to feel, nothing. I kept moving my hand across the bed without feeling anything. This was weird. I could swore I'd left here right here yesterday, or some hours ago.

I focused on hearing some noise that would explain the empty side.

In the far away I heard some water pouring down. Like a shower.

I got an idea.

I quickly wrapped a sheet over half my body and started to walk to the bathroom.

The door was slightly open and I definitely heard the shower pouring. I couldn't help but smile. I wanted a kiss, I'd been without them for too long.

I smirked as I opened the door slowly. Just to find… an empty bathtub.

I looked around the huge bathroom but she wasn't anywhere to be seen.

Where could she be? It was barely 7 am so what could she possibly be doing? Shopping? It's to early for that. But once again, she's a Cullen, schooled by shoppaholic Alice Cullen.

I turned of the shower and looked for my pants.

I found them on the couch of the living room. How the hell did they end up here? Ness had a pretty good arm.

I took the pants and went to the bed and took a pair of boxers of the bag.

Then I noticed that Nessie's bag wasn't there. I could swore on that I'd seen it yesterday…

My eyes moved to the pillow where Ness had been laying on and found and envelope. I took it up and saw that it said _To Jacob, the love of my life._

I couldn't help but smile. She'd left me a romantic note.

I opened up the envelope and took out the note. As I did it, did a bunch of bills fall out of the thick envelope. Why'd she leave me money?

I got suspicious and opened the note.

_Dear Jacob:_

_How can I even start? I want you to know one thing before you continue reading: I love You. Never forget that._

_When you wake up today, you wont find me. I'm gone, and I wont tell you where I went. I don't want you to know. I don't what anyone to know. I know I told you that we would fight Jane together. But there's no way that I let you fight her and get hurt. I love you to much for even think about you being there with me. So I left. _

_I saw in Alice vision, we wouldn't have a chance. And I just couldn't think of you getting hurt. This is a fight between her and me, you don't have to suffer._

_This is hard for me too you know, but it's the best, it's the right thing to do._

_I love you. If you meet my parents and family again, tell them I love them too, a lot._

_I know that what I did will hurt you, hurt you all. And I hurts me too, but I do this because I love you. And believe me, I love you more than what's good for me. But I do. And I would do what I'm about to do for you at any time._

_I love you. I'll never get tired of saying it and never get tired of feeling it._

_Yours for eternity: Renesmee Cullen_

_P.S Thank you for last night. It was definitely the best of my life. And the money is for the hotel room._

The wrinkly piece of paper was shaking on my grip. I couldn't believe it. She was gone. She had left. She'd left to fight that demon child so that _I _wouldn't get hurt?

"Damn it!" I took the first thing that I found- the night stand lamp- and sent it across the room. It broke in million pieces and even a piece of wall fell off.

My body started to shake intensely, making a ball of the piece of paper. But the sorrow could more. Hot, big tears left my eyes and I sat down on the bed, sobbing like I'd never before.

I felt like my heart was being ripped apart from inside. I was in so much pain. Was this how it felt to loose your imprint? No, this must be worse.

I searched for the pillow that she'd had under her head and pressed it against my chest. Hugging and squeezing it. I took a deep breath of the scent that it sent out. It smelt just like her. Her smell, together with the strawberry and vanilla scent that clung in the room fit perfectly together. It would always remind me of her, of the most perfect of all things. Renesmee.

The thought of her made me stronger. I collected myself, I decided what to do.

I finished to dress quickly and looked took up the hotel room phone and dialed.

_Edward. _I had to admit that he sounded really calm.

"Edward, it's me, Jacob. We've a situat…" he didn't let me finish.

_Jacob? Where the hell are you and Renesmee? Come home immediately!_

"I can't… we… she…"

_What do you mean you can't? You have to! _he started to scream like a maniac and threat me. As much as I tried to hold my posture was it almost impossible to be calm while he yelled. I was going to loose it if he kept up. _Jacob Black, if you don't have my daughter home and safe in the less 24 hours I swear I'll personally make you an expensive piece of clothing!_

"I can't, okay! She's gone!" I freaked out.

_What? _he hissed mortally.

"She's gone, okay. She left this morning. We where at an hotel and today when I woke up was she gone" I felt how the tears where about to start flowing again but I tried my hardest to not cry in front of him. "She just… left me a note" I said with a thick voice "She said she loved me and her family too much for letting us fight for her." each word I said hurt more saying out loud than reading them. Hearing me saying it made me feel guilty about her escape, it really felt like my fault.

_She didn't say where? _Did he have to ask such stupid question?

"Do you think I'd be wasting my time calling _you _instead of being looking for her myself if I knew where she was?"

_I guess not. I'll talk to Alice and see if she sees anything._

He hung up and I remained with the phone on my hand for several minutes before throwing it across the room.

I grabbed my bag and the note and went downstairs. I was going to find out.

"Good morning Mr. Black" the receptionist said.

"Hello" I said as calm as I possibly could

"Going to catch up with Miss Wolfe? She was in a real hurry this morning" I made a stop and I think I left a mark on the floor.

I walked to the receptionist now not that calm "Eh, yeah. Do you know when she left and where? I'm honestly not sure of where we where supposed to meet" I tried to smile confuse, but he didn't seem to buy it very much.

"Eh, no. I'm afraid I don't know where she left. But she left early this morning. Around 4 am"

That early? "Oh okay. I guess I'll have to call her. Well thank you anyway" I took my bag from the floor and saw the envelope with money and remembered that I'd to pay.

"Excuse me, how much's the room?" I asked the receptionist.

"Let me check… it will be 1500$" my head shot back. These freaking Cullen standards would drive me insane soon.

I picked up the envelope and took a bunch of bills and put them on the counter. And turned around.

"Eh, excuse me sir, but this is 2500..."

"For reparations" I said over my shoulder.

As I walked out of the hotel did my cell phone ring.

"Hello?"

_Jake, where are you? _Bella's voice sounded alarmed.

"I'm in L.A" I said as I kept walking.

"_Where in L.A?" _

"How the hell am I supposed to know? I've never been here…"

_Which hotel?_

I turned around "Eh, Hilton Resort…"

_I knew it! _she said quietly _Edward, she went to the Hilton hotel where we stayed for her birthday…_ quiet whispers that I couldn't understand started to sound on the other side of the phone. God, I hate when they do that.

_Jacob _Edward this time _You need to focus. Alice just had a vision. She saw that Jane has decided. She's going to follow her to our old house in Maine… Jacob? _

I hung up on him and started to walk to a cab. I was going to Main, and I was going to bring her back. Even if it would cost me my life.

I took a cab to the airport.

"Excuse me" I asked the lady behind the counter "Do you know if Renesmee Cullen has board the plane to Maine?"

"Let me check" the lady behind the counter started to type on a computer.

"No, sir. I'm sorry. There's no Renesmee Cullen on our lists"

No? but she… oh!

"and do you know if Vanessa Wolfe has board that plane?"

"Let me check, again" she said, this time more annoyed.

Typing, typing, typing…

"Yes. Vanessa Wolfe boarded the plane to Maine this morning at 4:45 am"

Yes! "You know if there's any tickets to Maine today?"

"Eh, there's only one plane today, but it doesn't leave until 18:50"

Damn it! "Sure there isn't any other flight on any other airline?" there had to be!

"No, we're the only airline with flights to Maine… Sir!"

Whatever! I knew a faster way to get there.

I took another cab to a tourist information.

"Hello" the awfully happy man said to me on the counter.

"Hi. Can I have a map over the forests around here?"

"Ah, so you are a wild-lifer?" he didn't wait for me to answer before he disappeared and appeared again with a bunch of maps and brochures.

"Let's see" he folded out one map "The best woods are right here ad the best hiking paths are right here" he pointed out places on the maps "If you want to go through dessert then you can walk here, but careful with the mountain lions, they're many this time of year" Well, there was my lunch.

After being stuck with the guy did get turn around and took another cab to the National reservation the info guy had pointed at.

It was still early when we arrived so there weren't much people around.

I ran into the forest, away from the walking tracks. I'd check the map so may times I could it all by heart now.

I quickly undressed and started to run.

The shaking started and when my wolf had appeared did I run fast in the dark shadows of the forest. Hoping and praying it wouldn't be to late. Who knows how much I have left.


	45. Stalking

**First of all SOOOOO SOOOOORRRRYYYY FOR THE ABCENSE! BUT I'm back from vacation so now will the updates come more often... But expect me to be a liiitle out while i work on not one but possibly two new fics! One for twilight (More info to come!) and one for hush hush...**

**But back to the story, this is a chapter from Alec's POV, just something i wanted to do cuz i was bored, but it's still on the story...**

**And I'm making out for my abcesne... I'll give you a little preview at the end!**

**So enjoy and review! You guys dissapointed me a little last time, but i guess it's fair due my abcence...**

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><p><em>Stalking<em>

It was a cloudy morning. Perfect. I'd been outside for almost an hour and she still hadn't showed up. But she would show up eventually. I just needed to have patience.

The phone vibrated in my pocket and I picked it up.

"Hello?"

"_Brother, any news yet?" _Demetri's voice had an after tone of victory.

"You're _not _my brother" I replied calmly but still with a bit of anger, I couldn't help it.

"_Yet" _he said even more victorious and I couldn't help the angry feeling that was blooming inside me. I just couldn't help it.

"I guess you called with a particular reason in mind, Demetri" I replied coldly. Fighting badly to contain my pain.

"Yes. Has she showed up yet?"

"No"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I am sure she hasn't showed up" it annoyed me that just because he now had it with my sister he could boss around. Which wasn't the case. My sister and I where still the main pieces here. They all depended on us.

"You must be very observant, she must not disappear"

"She won't" he was really starting to piss me off.

"Okay then" he said after a rather big pause. "I'll let you finish your job" and hung up.

I shut the phone and shoved it hard down my pocket.

In that instant did people start to come out the doors. And together with them, a heap of different strong and delicious scents. I felt how my throat started to flame up un such pain that I almost immediately crunched down.

_Alec! Focus! _I told myself. But as I said those words, I heard my sisters voice, like if she was saying them. She was my inner voice.

I held my breath and turned around just in time,

She came, carrying nothing more than hand luggage. So little, weak and vulnerable. So… human.

I saw she was holding a key in her hand and a brochure. Probably the key to her house and a map.

I checked the contacts once again and pulled the hat over my head and walked towards her.

"Excuse me, Miss" I said behind her. She turned around, startled by me approaching her. "May I offer you a ride to your destination"

The girl tilted her head to the side, inspecting me. Her eyes stayed long enough on my uniform, and how I'd struggled to get it! Humans these days are much more selfish. For not mentioning resistant.

"Ehm…." the girl started in a shaken voice "No, thank you"

She walked away and I tried my hardest to not go after her and make her take me to her house.

"Okay then" I said and returned to my vehicle and waited.

Inside I dug out my phone to call my sister.

"_What?" _she said as she picked up.

"She already had a ride" she hissed on the phone but I continued "I'll follow her and then I'll call you to give you the go"

"_Fine. But be careful. We don't want her to see you and call the rest. She's alone, she's weak" _I could hear the happiness in my sister's voice as I hung up.

I took one last quick look towards the girl that was opening her car.

She was so small, fragile. Her grown up woman figure was just that, grown up. But her eyes still had that childish innocence, that sparkle you have as a child that no matter what never fades away. And wasn't that was she was? A child? Just like… me and my sister? And she was even younger. I did the math in my head. Seven, it had been seven years since we together with Aro- may he rest in peace- had seen her for the first time. That day when her life was saved, that day when my sister became even more colder than she'd ever been before.

But she was going to get her vengeance. She was determined to get it. And I helped.

Even if in this particular moment, seeing this girl drive away, I felt a bit bad for helping her kill a child.

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><p><strong>Did u like it? I have good news, next chapter will be the fight one! Yaaaayyy!<strong>

**Well as I promised. Ladys and gentelmen... _Your Preview!_**

_I remained on the bed after Carlisle had told me the sad news. I didn't bother to hold back the tears, I didn't care if I Cried. I had all the right to cry, it was all my fault after all. It was my fault that one innocent life had died, _my _life. _

_I cried so hard it hurted. So hard it was almost impossible to breathe. I couldn't determin which was worse. The pain Jane caused me, or this._

_As I thought of Jane, my body tensed and the anger came. That wich! It was all her fault! She killed him! She's the main cause of his death! She's the one who hurted me so bad that I lost him. Thanks to her, I'll never be the same. And maybe it was her main point, to destroy me, ruin me. But could she know? Was it possible she new about my -now lost- gift when not even I knew about? And if she did, how could you be so cruel?_

_But, as the angered ran off, i knew it was my fault too. If I only hadn't been that stupid. If I only hadn't left alone, he might still be alive. Just might..._

_"Honey are you okay?"_

_"Go away!" I screamed back "I don't want to see anyone!_

_"Honey, please-"_

_"No!"_

_in that instanted he bursted into the room "We have to talk and I'm not going away until we do!"_

_I sighed. Freaking oversitter._

**You liked it? Did you get it? No? Good!;)**


	46. Battle

**WHOOOOHOOOOOOOOO UPDATE!**

**This is a chapter that I know many have been waiting for! Here will it all be setteled. What will happen?**

**i wanna warn y'all that im not good at fighting scence but i did the best i could.**

**This chapter goes especially to one of the reviewers that always has supported this work:**

**NotSoDaddy'sLittleGirl03... thank you for always reviewing!**

**And I'll not take more of your time... Just enjoy!**

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><p><em>Battle<em>

I was a little unsure of how I was supposed to get to the house, but one look at the map helped me.

I had been driving for more then an hour and had about two left. Each mile I drove felt lonelier, and with loneliness came fear. As longer I drove, the more I was starting to feel afraid. Not long after did I start to shake.

My mind filled with millions 'what if's' and I just couldn't focus on what I was doing.

I considered to call my parents several times, but each time I remembered myself that what I was doing was exactly to _not _make them come her. To not fight. It took me a while, but I slowly started to gain my confidence again.

I recognized the little driveway to our house when I approached.

It still looked the same. But there was one thing, emptiness was all over the house.

With this dull and grey weather the house looked kind of haunted.

I hesitated at the front steps, but the suddenly thunder made me almost fly thorough the door instead of opening it.

"Stop being so paranoid!" I whispered to myself.

I turned the lights on and saw with more clarity the first floor. A tear escaped my eye as I saw the open area where so many memories had been made.

I laughed at the sight of the armchair Emmett had broken times and times before.

The big living room, the white fabric that divided the dining table from the rest of the room.

I walked through the room until I came to the staircase and made a stop before taking the steps to the second floor.

I walked down the hallway, passing the panorama window as I came closer to what used to be my parents bedroom.

The familiar sight made my tears start flowing heavily.

The bright colors of the walls, the bed sheets, the placement of moms makeup table, everything remained the same. I even imagined that if I went to sit on the bed I would feel it warm. It looked so tempting…

Before I knew it was I there, laying on the bed, silent tears falling down my cheeks.

I took a lungful of air, feeling their scent vaguely mixed with a heavier coat of dust, but it was still there. It was still theirs.

How I missed that scent. I took another lungful of it, making me go back in time to when I was a kid. To when I used to crawl up into this bed at night every time I had a bad dream or just wanted to 1ay down with them. How dad and I used to wrestle on in while mom laughed her wonderful laugh.

I remembered about when I was sick and when they let me sleep with them. I remembered how they hugged me and took care of me all night. We'd a movie marathon and many of my favorite movies today are those we saw that night. One of my favorite memories.

Time flew by as I was dreaming myself away to the past. To a past where none of this was suppose to end like this.

But suddenly I realized that I wasn't supposed to be dreaming. I was supposed to be awake, aware of everything around me.

I opened my eyes, but felt confused. The room wasn't the same, everything was darker. Like if all the good times had been washed away together with the rain that was pouring outside the window.

It was like if I had ended up wrong. Like in a parallel universe. By this time should I be used to it, be used to that everything was upside down. But I had been used to a dream. A dream that I someday would wake up from. No matter how much it hurt.

And I had to face reality, which was the place where I now was. This was reality. Not the dream I'd as a kid, not the colorful place, but this dark reality that carefully crept up on me.

In a matter of seconds did everything change. I felt like someone was watching me, looking.

I sat up on the bed shaking like never before. I felt my head spinning and my how the view disappeared from in front of for a little while and then came back. It was like someone was switching the lights of my mind on and off. Sometimes I saw, sometimes I didn't.

My instincts took over, and the one thing I had in mind was to get out of the room.

I rose up and tried to run as fast as I could. But for every step I took did either the floor start spinning or my vision block out. What was happening to me? The house that used to feel like the safest place on earth to me suddenly felt threatening.

I took the stairs as fast as I could and made my way stumbling to the kitchen.

I hit several things before finding the way to the backyard door. As I was about to open it, did my head spin so fiercely that it was almost impossible to take the doorknob and open the door. But after much struggle I did.

I half ran half stumbled to the big back yard only to stop by the wall of forest in front of me.

I analyzed it, searching for a place to escape to. Behind that forest was there mountains, a place where my screams would drown out, where no one would find me.

A shiver went through my spine, causing all the hairs of my neck rise. But not from the fear of the mountains, but for the feeling of presence.

I felt that someone was here, close.

I spun around, my vision suddenly clear, like if nothing had happened. My head didn't spin anymore, I was completely okay. But that didn't change the fact that I was feeling someone else's presence.

My eyes wandered around the big back yard, looking for things that didn't belong there. My heart beated hard in my chest, threatening to punch its way out of there.

"Looking for me?" a sweet and delicate voice came from behind me. But that sweet voice of a child wasn't what it appeared.

It was the voice that had been haunting me in my dreams, the voice that didn't have a face, the voice of the devil.

I felt my heartbeat stop immediately at the sound of that voice. I felt how my legs where laying off, threatening to leave me.

"Not so tough without the rest of your defenders, are you?" her tone was amusing.

I swallow the lump I had in my throat, took a deep breath before turning around.

"Well, look who's grown up!" the face of the voice, a child, said to me.

"Who are you?" my voice came out with a tone of intimidation, which she of course noticed.

"Oh, I'm sorry! Let's get acquaintance with each other, shall we?" her voice was full with sarcasm.

"What do you want?" I asked again, my voice more confident.

"When will you see that I am not giving any answers?" her expression changed from the sweetness she'd had before to a more mature look, more stern.

I did the same "When you answer me who you are and what you want'!" I didn't notice the sudden raised tone of voice I'd got.

From a hundred feet away, she ran and came to stay five feet away from me.

"Let's not start getting all screaming here shall we?" she looked me deep in the eyes, her face expression showed nothing but hate. A hate that I couldn't understand.

From nowhere she smiled, like some kind of cursed doll. I once again shivered.

Her eyes looked to her left before she spoke "Brother" she said in a voice so soft.

My head snapped quickly to where her eyes had looked, but before I could see anything was I blinded.

"What did you do to me?" I screamed as I struggled to open my eyes, only to feel that they where open. I was the one who couldn't see. I was blind.

A sweet laughter came from someone close to my ear. "You wanted the answers to your questions…" a cold hand relied on my arm "I'll give you them!" the voice turned to a hiss and before I could understand what was going on did I feel how I flew from where I stood and landed on the wet grass. My head hit the hard ground.

Before I could even get what had happen did a wave of excruciating pain fill me like a wave of fire, burning me from inside and out. No part of my body was free from pain.

I gave out a blood freezing scream of agony.

"Not so fun being human now, is it?" the girls voice sounded close. The fact that I couldn't see anything was terrifying in itself. But not knowing where she was and what she would do to me next, was even worse.

The pain disappeared as fast as it came and all my tense muscles suddenly felt like jell-o. I fell lump back to the ground, not able to rise up again.

"What do you want?" I said, tears falling but my voice was anger filled.

"Well, let see." she made a pause "I want… justice. And revenge"

"Revenge for what? What have I ever done to you? I don't even know you!" I spit the words out blindly, not knowing which direction to speak to.

"You where born! You and your mother have always been a burden to me! Since the day your mother first put her foot in the vampire world, hasn't she been more than trouble, and the biggest trouble she caused was you!" she spoke the words with poison in her voice. "Because of you haven't I been able to be happy. I've never been allowed happiness"

My heartbeat increased, but not of fear. Anger. I'd recovered the sense of my body and rose up.

"Happiness is something you deserve" I hissed and got surprised for it as well.

"Well see" she said with a slug tone.

The wave of pain returned like it had disappeared, making me fall down on my knees.

I screamed once again.

"Leave me alone!" I screamed at the darkness that surrounded me.

"What have I ever done to you?" I screamed once again. Feeling the desperation grow bigger and bigger.

A low and devilish laugh rose from her lips.

The pain was becoming more unbearable. The part that hurted the most was my belly. I don't know, but I felt like she was ripping it apart piece by piece.

My cries and screams became louder as I felt I soon wouldn't be able to take it any longer. This was it…

"Renesmee!" the voice that called my name was a voice I didn't expect to hear at this moment. I recognized Jake's voice. I started to look around but I was submerged in darkness. What was he doing here?

I the felt that I wanted to run to him. Wanted to scream at him to run away as fast as he could. To disappear from this hell that would kill him too. I was preparing my body to run, but I was frozen. As much as I tried couldn't I move an inch.

I tried to scream, but neither a sound came out of my mouth. I felt locked up.

"Calm down princess. Your dog isn't going anywhere" she said.

"You leave her alone!" Jake's words echoed in the hollow space.

In that second was my body filled with acid, fire and boiling oil. I screamed. I was in flames! I couldn't stand upright, and I felt how I fell down to the ground. It was cold, rain. But not even that could help against the fire that was consuming me. I wanted to die. Anything that would get me out of this would be accepted, even death. But death seemed to have fled, it was nowhere. A ear piercing scream echoed. And not until my throat was burning did I realize it was mine. I felt how my throat was in pain besides the burning, and I tasted blood in my mouth.

"RENESMEE!" Jake's scream of despair joined mine of pain.

"Easy dog" the childish voice repeated. Short after was Jake screaming too.

"JAKE!" I screamed both of pain and terror. She was hurting him! She would kill him.

It took every fiber of my body to try to concentrate. I knew what I had to do. I wasn't sure if I could, but right now, I had nothing to loose besides Jake, and for him would I do anything.

I tried to block out his screams of pain even though it hurt to hear him suffering like I had been afraid he would.

I focused.

My mom was a shield. What I knew was that she was the only one who could stay immune to Jane's attacks.

I'm her daughter. Maybe after all I also could…

I tried to turn away the pain- which almost was impossible- and focused on the one thing I wanted to protect.

I took a deep breath and tried to mentally push the pain away. I tried to disconnect myself from the pain that was filling me.

I tensed every muscle of my body. But in vain. The pain was still there. I could sense how I slowly began to slip. To give up.

I heard Jake scream.

Mom cry.

Dad was devastated.

My family was destroyed.

So many things I'd caused with my crazy thoughts had only led to pain. What I though would save them, actually killed them. And maybe that was what she was after. She knew that if she got me… she would kill them all.

No. I wouldn't let her. I wouldn't give her that joy of seeing me or my family die.

I regain strength. My family was my strength. They where the ones that I would fight for.

And as nothing. They pain started to fade. My eyelids started to flutter. I saw vaguely the wet grass under me, the pain running off my each second.

"Alec! What are you doing?" Jane's voice yelled.

"It's not me!" he yelled back.

And it was true. It was not him. It was me!

I don't know how, but I managed to push away the pain completely. It was like taking away a heavy blanket off of me. It was relieving.

I felt how she backed off. How she was surprised´. And I wasn't any different.

I rose up from where I laid. Traces of blood where on the ground.

I stood there now. Face to face with my personal demon. Feeling more confident than I'd ever felt. More than I ever imagine I would feel.

I looked her deep in the eyes. Showing her I wasn't afraid.

"You know, I might be a human" I said "But I'm more vampire than you could imagine"

Then I broke it.

I threw myself towards her, running at hundreds of miles per hour.

Something that sounded like thunder rose when our bodies hit each other.

We flew feet's away, stumbled down, me on top of here, making her lose her focus on Jake.

I heard something ripping and I knew Jake had phased.

In that second did Jane push me fiercely away from her making me fall hard on my back. Making something crack. But I didn't feel pain.

I jumped back on my feet and crunched down. A growl so threatening left my throat that even I got surprised by it, but I didn't let myself get distracted by it.

Jane raced towards me and I did the same. Inches from each other did I grab her tiny shoulders pushing her away from me.

She slung an arm but I ducked.

I grabbed the arm she'd slung and pushed her body away from me, making her body split from her arm with a loud ripping sound.

"Jane!" a male voice came from my left and I turned around.

A guy was looking at Jane's body feet away from me.

His eyes flashed to me and changed from pain to anger. Making me almost run away.

He prepared to leap towards me when suddenly a shadow appeared from behind him and rolled over him. It was Jake.

I was distracted by what I was seeing that I didn't see Jane coming up to me.

She pushed me and we once again flew down.

She pinned me down to the ground, her hands around my neck.

In the desperation of breathing did I throw my body weight to my right, making us roll until she was on top of me, her hand still around my neck.

I took all my strength and managed to lower me down enough so I could take a bite of her shoulder.

She screamed in agonizing pain as I spit out the bit of stone I'd chewed off her. It tasted disgusting.

I released from her grip and rose up just in the same time as she.

This was it. No more mercy. This was the last fight we would pull, I saw it in her eyes. We both crunched.

In that instant, a loud ripping was heard without us even doing anything. In shock did we both turn our attention to where the noise had come from.

I saw Jake in his wolf form standing over a numb body. His eyes filled with hate.

A sound that sounded like a cry but was more than that came out from Jane.

I turned around and saw her crushed face. Her angelical face was devastated.

"Why!" she screamed so loud it hurt. Her eyes went from the numb body to me.

"it's all your fault!" she screamed "Why can't I ever be happy? We where supposed to be together for eternity after I'd killed you"

"What have I ever done to you?" I said barely able to speak.

She replied me with a soft voice that suited her tiny body better. "You have everything you want. A family, love. It was never denied to you. But me…" she looked at the body that laid by Jake's feet "I've never been allowed true happiness. I didn't understand why you could be with the wolf when I couldn't be with my love. It was unfair"

I looked at the body she was looking at. Could it be possible? Could she have done this for love?

A bark took me out of my thoughts.

I reacted just in time to see her take the leap towards me.

I took the arm that was still there and turned her body around, putting and arm lock on her neck.

"Kill me, please!" she said over and over.

I felt her body shake under my hold. Could I do it? She was a kid…

I remembered the pain I felt while she tortured me. The pain she'd made Jake feel. I remembered every single second of excruciating agony she'd made me go through.

With all my strength did I split her body from her head and let her fall down numb.

Another body fell next to hers. Jake stood besides me.

"You've fire?" I asked him and put my hand on his side.

_Yes _he said shortly and disappeared from my side.

He returned on his human form. He took the lightener and threw it on the pile of body parts in front of us.

I looked at the fire and turned to face Jake.

"Don't you ever do that to me again, you heard me?" he said looking down at me.

I nodded and shortly after melted in his embrace.

I hid my face deep in his warm chest, breathing his scent.

_I love you _I told him _I'm sorry I left _

"it's okay now. You feel okay?"

I nodded _and you? She hurt you too!_

"Imma big boy"

"Ness!" moms voice sounded through the forest.

I lifted my head and saw the entire family standing about 20 feet away.

"Mom!" I screamed and ran to her.

But halfway to her did a pain in my stomach paralyze me. I stopped on the way and grabbed my stomach hard.

A scream of pain left my throat as I felt how I slowly fell to the ground.

"Renesmee!" I heard my name being called over and over again as I loosed my continence.


	47. Unexpected

_Unexpected_

I felt the pain even through my unconsciousness. It was like something was ripping me from inside out. But I couldn't scream. I think that was the worst thing.

"Did she hurt her physically?" my dad's hateful voice was questioning Jake.

"No. Or not what I saw, I told you I was pretty busy with fighting the witch's brother and boyfriend"

The pain increased by just thinking of her. Everything inside me twisted.

We where in the car and I wasn't sure how long we had left.

I started tried to open my eyes but my mom hushed in my ear "Relax, honey. We'll be home soon"

Dad must been driving more than 200 Mph because it felt like it only had ´been 10 minutes from the house to the airport.

We used the family jet that we'd never used before, but this was an emergency.

The plane had a bed which I laid on. Mom never left my side. Neither would Jake, if it haven't been so that my dad and grandpa were questioning him out.

"I tell you" Jake said pissed " Renesmee and I where attacked by Jane when somehow Ness broke out of the witch's power and they started to fight. I phased but got attacked by her brother and not long after did her boyfriend appear"

"I didn't know Jane was in a relationship" grandpa said.

"It was something recent."

"But she must really loved him" Jake came out "She almost immediately stopped fighting when she saw I'd ripped his head apart…"

The scene played up once again in my head. Jane's crushed face, Dimeteri's dead body in front of Jake's feet. It was all so clear through the pain.

"What happened with Alec?" dad asked Jake.

"He ran off"

"You think he might have gone back to the Volturi?" mom asked from next to me.

"That's possible" grandpa answered her.

"Should we be worried?"

"The only thing we should be worried for right now is Renesmee's health"

I had the feeling that grandpa knew more than he said. I mean, he's a doctor, he sees the symptoms more clearly.

The pain came over me once again and I curled up into a ball, not screaming, but shrieking.

"Doc, do something!" Jake's voice of despair was loud in the plane and everyone onboard immediately came to where I was.

I felt something pinch me, morphine.

I didn't fought against the unconsciousness but let it once again defeat me.

When I once again woke up was it in the familiar office at the house. Grandpa's office.

The clear light that hung in the ceiling blurred my sight and I looked away.

My grandpa was the only one there. He looked at me.

"How are you felling, Ness?" my grandpas voice cleared everything up.

"I feel… weird"

"The effect of the morphine" he said smiling.

"Am I okay?"

He sighed before answering "Yes. Now. I found some inner bleeding in your abdominal area, but that's cleared up"

Inner bleeding. "How come I bleed?"

"Jane's power seem to affect you not only psychological but physical too" my grandpa said.

"Really? Why?"

"Well, Jane's power have never been proved on a human. Your mother didn't feel them as human because of the shield she had, but the Volturi have never tried her powers on humans, so we didn't know"

"But Jake…"

"He's stronger than you. But… you where vulnerable at that moment too…"

He said that last sentence with sorrow and pain.

"Grandpa, what is it?"

"Renesmee you have to rest"

"But there's something else going o, and I wanna know!" I wouldn't give up that easily.

He looked away, refusing to meet my eyes. But he talked

"While I was curing your inner bleedings, did I found something else" he paused but turned to meet my eyes. "I found… a three month old baby"

I gasped for air. "What?"

"Yes. Renesmee you where pregnant"

The room spun fiercely around. Pregnant. A baby, I had a baby inside me. Or…

"Where?"

He nodded "It seems the impact of the pain was too much for it. It didn't survive" his voice was full with sorrow.

"No" I shook my head in denial, it couldn't be.

My hands moved to my stomach. And even if it wasn't possible, could I feel the emptiness inside me. I could feel that something that belonged there, no longer was.

"Three months?"

"Hadn't it been that long?"

"No. yesterday was the very first time" I stared at the blank wall in front of me.

"Seems like we'd another fast grower" he said so absent mindedly I thought he was talking to himself.

Another fast grower. Another life. Another me.

"Grandpa, is it possible, the baby" I fought to hold back my tears "Could've been the reason to why was more vulnerable?"

He thought it over. "Yes. After all, this baby's a part of both you and Jacob. It had more humanity than you, it was weaker." he trailed off.

Weaker, more vulnerable.

My breathing became heavier.

"I'll give you some time" he said and left the room.

I remained in bed after Carlisle had told me the sad news. I didn't bother to hold back the tears, I didn't care if I Cried. I had all the right to cry, it was all my fault after all. It was my fault that one innocent life had died, my life.

I cried so hard it hurt. So hard it was almost impossible to breathe. I couldn't determine which was worse. The pain Jane caused me, or this.

As I thought of Jane, my body tensed and the anger came. That witch! It was all her fault! She killed him! She's the main cause of his death! She's the one who hurt me so bad that I lost him. Thanks to her, I'll never be the same. And maybe it was her main point, to destroy me, ruin me. But could she know? Was it possible she new about my -now lost- gift when not even I knew about? And if she did, how could you be so cruel?

But, as the angered ran off, i knew it was my fault too. If I only hadn't been that stupid. If I only hadn't left alone, he might still be alive. Just might...

"Honey are you okay?"

"Go away!" I screamed back "I don't want to see anyone!

"Honey, please-"

"No!"

in that instant he burst into the room "We have to talk and I'm not going away until we do!"

I sighed. Freaking over sitter.

"Jake, please understand, I can't… I…" I sobbed again.

"What's wrong?" he asked

Didn't he know?

"I don't want to talk about it…" I turned to hid my face.

"Then don't talk. Just tell me"

I placed my hand on his cheek told him.

His face changed several times. At the end, he burst out in tears together with me.

I leaned and hugged him, got drenched in him. Wanting to disappear.

There we remained, empty-handed. We where broken. We where suffering. Mourning and grieving for that lost life that could've been part of our lives.

Jake's big arms surrounded me grabbing the loose shirt that I was wearing, wetting it with his tears.

I don't know how long we remained like that. Crying . Rocking each other back and forth. Trying to collect our spread out pieces. Trying to get together our broken hearts.

I didn't know if he did it too, but I slipped away in a ark tunnel I never though I'd get out from.


	48. We are Broken

**Hey guys! How are y'all doing? Thank you so so much for the reviews to last chapter, I'm happy you liked it and I hope you don't think I'm evil 'cause what i wrote. Belive me, I felt so bad writing that.**

**But the sadness isn't quite over. This chapter is not long, but it's just a little description of which big pain both Ness and Jake are in. it's both their POV's but you'l notice it. The chapter and te lyrics before each dream are from Paramore's amazing song 'We are broken'. I had that song on repeat during the entire writing of last chapter and this, the song is just perfect.**

**And well, wanted to say that after tis chapter are there only four- yes FOUR- chapters left of this story 'tears'. So let's ejoy this as much as we can, shall we?**

**LOVELOVELOVE!**

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><p><em>We are broken<em>

**Nessie's POV**

_I am outside_

_And I've been waiting for the sun_

_And with my wide eyes_

_I've seen worlds that don't belong_

_My mouth is dry_

_With words I cannot verbalize_

_Tell me why we live like this_

_Keep me safe inside_

_Your arms like towers _

_Tower over me…_

I knew I was dreaming because everything was perfect.

The sun hit my back as I opened the little gate that surrounded a big, white house.

The garden was so impeccable it could've been the yard of a castle.

For each step I took on the steps to the porch of the house did a smile grew on my face.

I was listening eagerly to any kind of noise that came from inside the house.

I heard the TV playing childish melodies that got stuck in your head, the tap was open, pouring water, I heard small and quick footsteps running up the stairs followed by big and noisy ones. And then I heard a 'Got'cha'

I had such a big smile it almost hurt my cheeks.

I opened the door just in time for Jake to come down the stairs with a child in his arms.

"Mommy!" the little boy was stretching his arms towards me and I let go of everything in my hands to receive him.

Jake passed him to me with a smile and the kid with an even bigger smile, still not loosing the scary alike resemblance to Jake.

I hugged him tight and firm, trying to pass all the love I felt for this little boy into his body. I put my nose on the top of his hair, breathing in his delicious scent, his baby smell.

He looked up at me with his big eyes and smile that was just like Jake's.

"I love you, mommy" the baby said to me.

"I love you too" was not hard to reply. It came so naturally.

The little baby boy then signaled to me he wanted down so I put him down. He ran away with tiny legs and I couldn't help but laugh.

"He runs like you" I told Jake that came close.

"But he's just like you. Stubborn as hell"

I giggled and before I could finish had Jake placed a kiss on my lips. A kiss so loving it made everything spin.

Then did the most unexpected sound appear. I looked out the window to prove my point. Rain was pouring down from a now scary grey sky and another thunder broke from the sky.

"Mommy!" the little boys voice screamed as he ran and clossed his arms around my legs.

I bent down to hug him. I felt his tiny scared heart pound in his chest.

"It's okay" I hushed before another thunder erupted.

"Mommy!" he screamed even louder.

"Mommy is here, it's okay" I repeated. Over and over. But no one answered.

It didn't take long before I realized there was no other heartbeat than mine.

I looked down to see my arms empty, only embracing myself.

'_Cause we are broken_

_What must we do to restore_

_Our innocence_

_And oh, the promise we adore?_

_Give us life again_

'_Cause we just wanna be whole_

**Jake's POV**

_Lock the doors_

'_Cause I like to capture this voice_

_That came to me tonight_

_So everyone will have a choice_

_And under red lights_

_I'll show myself it wasn't forged_

_We're at war, we live like this_

"Jake! Catch him!" Nessie's playful voice called me from inside the house.

A sweet laughter made my lips rise to a smile.

The little boy was halfway down the stairs when Nessie came up behind him and wrapped her arms around the boy.

The boy screamed with delight as Ness tickled him. Her long hair covering them up.

I enjoyed the sight that I was seeing. It was so perfect. Almost to perfect.

"Daddy!" the boy called. Ness had let him go and he was now running with his tiny legs towards me.

I crunched down ready to receive him when a thunder made me look up to the grey sky.

But I kept my arms open, waiting for the boys body to collapse with mine. But he didn't come.

When I removed my eyes from the sky did I see that no one was running. The space between me and the house was empty.

I only saw Nessie's tear filled eyes.

'_Cause we are broken_

_What must we do to restore_

_Our innocence_

_And oh, the promise we adore?_

_Give us life again_

'_Cause we just wanna be whole_

**Nessie's POV**

The tears where in my eyes as I woke up.

Jake was kneeling next to me, his head buried in my lap.

I ran my fingers through his hair and he woke up.

His eyes where red and swollen, just like I knew mine where too.

I knew exactly what he was thinking and he knew what I was thinking.

Neither of us could believe what had happened.

He showed me his dream, nightmare. And I showed him mine. We where connected, we felt our pains.

He rose up from his kneeling position to sit next to me on the stretcher I laid on.

He wrapped his arms around me and rocked me. He, just like I, was crying silent tears.

We where broken, but together, we would try to be whole.

_Tower over me…_

_Tower over me…_

_And I'll take the truth at any cost._


	49. This is me asking for you for permission

**So heres cahpter 47... i wanted to post it too keep the story going and well, things might start getting uphill form now. the last chapter was just something for fun, and this is the real deal... but please review my other chapter too!**

**this is Jake\s POV**

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><p><em>This is me asking you for permission<em>

Ness remained in bed for a week. Refusing to eat, refusing to do anything. She didn't even speak. It was like if she'd lost herself after… the accident. It was hard for me to admit it. But that was what it actually was. A horrible, painful accident.

Even though I tried not to, was it hard to not think. To not, imagine, how our lives would've been now. Sure, Edward would've killed me when he found out, but it would pass. Then, it would all be happiness and in less then the nine months that where required, we would've had a baby in our care. A little Nessie, or a little me. It didn't matter. Even if in the dreams I had, was there always a little boy. In Nessie's dream, he looked like me. And of course, he had something like me, but I couldn't help but seeing Nessie's beauty in him.

But Nessie was taking everything harder. She was blaming herself, she was- I never thought she could- depressed. She'd even been giving medications. Carlisle hated that idea, but he had no choice.

When they told me she needed another treatment, did I put the fist down. I just couldn't let her stuff herself with all that crap. She was to precious.

Somehow, was it my job to make her happy. To never let her suffer like that.

I'd thought over what I was about to do over and over again. And I was sure, it was the right thing. I would've done it anyway, but the resent happenings made me want to rush it. I wanted to give her a reason to smile. To be happy.

I cleared my mind before going to look for him.

He didn't know what was going on. Bella had agreed on protecting my mind.

I found him in the living room. With Bella, Alice and Jasper. Blondie was like a tree, planted next to the door where Nessie was, and Emmett with her.

The TV was on, but no one was watching it. Everyone's thoughts where everywhere except in the room. Only Bella seemed focused. Focused on keeping my mind safe from Edward.

"Edward" I said quickly "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

Everyone's head shoot up and I saw the curiosity in Alice's mind.

He examined me. And frowned when he didn't get anything out of me. He threw a look at Bella but she looked back with her eyes filled with innocence. He gave up with a sigh and stood up to make way outside.

I followed him, let him decide where we where going. I could give him that.

We walked through the backyard, into the woods. Perfect. If he killed me, no one would hear.

He suddenly turned around, about 10 feet away from me.

"Why are you using my wife to protect your mind?" he said low still loud.

"Because I want you to hear the words coming out from my mouth before my mind" I said slowly, calm.

"So, what is it?"

I looked him in the eyes, showing him that I wasn't afraid of him.

"You actually already know what I want" I said. Giving him a look that would make him think over.

"In my time we did it different" he said when he'd figured out what I wanted to ask.

"Well, I am from this century"

"Still, manners should be the same"

I sighed "You know, it isn't fun that you're always thinking of me like a misbehaved jerk"

"You give me reasons to. Like this one"

"Well, in that case, I'm sorry." I kept looking him in the eyes.

"Apology accepted. But when it comes to the other…"

"Edward, you know it's the right thing…"

'"When she's old enough!"

"Isn't that what she's been trying to prove to you? You know, if it hadn't been for your mistrust in her she might never left us lone and…" I paused abruptly, fearing that I might break down if I refreshed the memories.

"I just want her to be happy" Edward said after standing in silence a while.

"And what do you think I want?"

More silence before answers "So you're asking me for permission to…"

"Yes. Edward Cullen, this is me asking for permission to marry your daughter"


	50. Letting go for love

**Hey! Okay, you might not believe me, but I'm on edge of crying. The second to last chapter for this story, i would like you to review so that I wont cry myself to sleep ;)**

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><p><em>L<em>_etting go for love_

I'd completely lost track of how long I'd been inside. How long it'd been since I last had seen the sky or my family. I didn't remember when was the last time I'd hugged Jake. The last time I'd smiled.

The medications helped with what needed to be helped, but I knew Jake didn't like me to take them. And honestly, neither did I. But it was like if I needed them. It was something I'd to take to survive another grey day.

But I was starting to get tired of it. Tired of this monotonous lifestyle, if you could call it that. Human food had been the only I'd eat, and hunting hadn't I done in a long time. I needed a great hunt.

But then, the part that wanted to put an end to the suffering got defeated by the part that was feeling guilt. That was one of the main reasons I isolated from the rest of the world. I couldn't induce myself to look anyone straight in the eyes. My head hung low every time someone spoke to me. But I was starting to get tired of it. I couldn't live like this.

I light knock on the door dragged me out of my thoughts.

"Come in" I said in a whisper.

"How are you doing, honey?" my dad said with his eternal soft voice.

"Good, bad, I don't know which one's which now"

"Which means that you need to get out more, get a new hint of reality" he paused when he saw that I didn't react. He saw in my thoughts that that was what I wanted, but…

"You don't need to feel guilty, Renesmee. You didn't know, no one did"

"But, it was an innocent life" I whispered, afraid that my voice would break.

"I know, and don't think we aren't sad, because we are. And I understand. Only the thought of loosing you makes me…" he trailed of, his eyes flashed a bit of that pain I'd been going through, and I knew he understood. "But that innocent life" he continued "Was what saved your life"

I thought through his words. I remember grandpa explaining that, because the baby had more humanity, Alice could see it's future, which sadly was that only part. That painful part. It was the only memory that child would get. Pain, suffering.

"Renesmee, stop that!" my dad's stern voice made me jump. "Stop blaming yourself. By doing that you're not only hurting yourself, but also me, your mother… and Jacob" his ryes got a different look when he spoke Jake's name.

"You know, Jacob's going through a lot too." his eyes got a look like if he was thinking, focusing deeply on something painful " I can understand him. When I thought your mother had died" only the words made his face torn in pain "did I want to die, too. Only the thought of her in pain made me want to torture myself, too feel that pain. I didn't want anything but taking her pain away from her" his eyes reflected that pain, that pain he whish he could take.

" And I know, Jacob feels the same"

The thought of Jake feeling the pain my dad so truly was explaining to me, was unbearable.

"What have I done?" it was meant to be a thought but came out loud.

"You where just human" my dad smiled "Jacob understands that"

"He loves me" I said. My lips turned to a smile as I thought of him.

"He always have" my dad's thoughts where somewhere far. I inspected his face. When he noticed me, he smiled.

"He gave this to you your first Christmas" my dad shoved his hand into his pocket and took out a little piece of fabric and took out it's content.

"He mad it himself, and couldn't stop bragging about it. And you loved it" my dad's smile grew wider as he showed me the leather bracelet with a hand carved wolf. It was so little.

I smiled "Was that mine?" I took it from his hand and started to examine it.

"Yes. You never took it of."

"But why do you have it?" I didn't know my question would change the mood.

"Because I took it away from you when you lost your memory" his voice was sad and full with regret.

"Dad" I said with a sigh "don't feel bad. I'm not upset about it anymore. After all we've been through, I know that what you did, eve if it was wrong, you did it for my best"

"Thank you" he said with think voice.

I leaned closer to give him a hug, fighting my own tears.

" you want to put it on?" dad showed me the bracelet and I nodded.

He looked so proud but also a bit nostalgic as he tied the bracelet to my wrist. I'd have to ask him. Later.


	51. Changing eternity

**FIRST OF ALL: THANK U ALL GUYS! I HITTED 100 REVIEWS LAST CHAPTER! I'm so happy!**

**MyForeverNonEndingSunlight was my #100 reviewer and I's so thankful so i'm giving her a shout out for one of her stories: MY FOREVER SUN JAKE! it's a really good JakexNess story so check it out.**

**THEN! I only have the epilouge left to this story and after that... Well, that's really it. Tryig to stop crying here!**

**This chapter took a while to write cus i didn't feel for letting it go! Two days for convincing myself to write and three days to actually write.**

**So i hope you like it!**

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><p><em>Changing eternity <em>

I knew that letting everything go would be easier said than done, but eventually did we manage to move on. Not completely, because you can't. Jake and I where either way closer to each other. We where more bound than ever, and everyone understood us.

Not long after that I'd left the office did we move away from Forks. We all felt like we needed to move on, and move on completely. We moved to a little town in Montana, close to the border. Barely known, I don't think you even could find it in a regular map. I secretly whished for a sunny town, even if I knew it was impossible if I wanted to stay with my family.

There, in that small town, did I do what I wanted to. Study.

I managed to blend in as a freshmen while the rest where either sophomores or juniors. If it had been for my dad, he'd pass as a freshman, in the same classes as I. but he had to keep it real.

Jake got a work, and a pretty good one, with a construction firm. He traveled a lot to, he got jobs in different states and where sometimes away for two or three month. But when he came back, didn't he work for two or three months, so we got time to recover our lost time.

And so had this last four years gone. Between studying, chores, family and Jake. It almost seemed like a blur.

And today would I finish the first of many years of high-school to come. Today was my graduation. A day I'd been waiting for. Like every other normal kid would.

I was still in bed, refusing to wake up and enjoying the moment. Until I heard Alice's voice.

"Nessie, wake up! You need to change, put on your makeup, do your hair…"

"Alice Cullen, shhhhhhhhh!" I said and put the pillow over my head.

After ten minutes or so did someone knock on the door.

"What?" I exclaimed to whoever was there.

"Good morning, sunshine"

I removed quickly the pillow from my head with a huge smile on my face.

'"Jake! You're back!" I sat up and he came to my bed.

"Of course I am" he kissed my lips softly "I wont miss my favorite girl's graduation"

I smiled and hugged him. "How was work?"

"Good. I'm done with the house we where building in Los Angeles" he sounded proud.

"Well, I'm happy and we have to go there together some day. I'm getting kind of sick of grey cities, I wanna have some sun"

He smiled and kissed me once again, this time more passionate. _Someday we will._

"But now you need to get dressed" he pulled away "Today's going to be a very special day" he said that last very mysterious, but I didn't asked, but obeyed.

"Alice! I need the dress!"

We where sitting on the chairs in the gym. I was next to Mariana Shea, one I could consider my friend. Well, almost everyone that was graduating where friends. We all knew each other, we weren't that many.

Sitting there with all these people felt surreal. They where my first graduation class, the one I'd shared this experience with for the very first time. They would all definitely be a part of my life from now on, and I'd probably visit them someday.

They started to call all the students that started with C in their last name and I rose up.

As the names where called you just heard applauses and one or other whistle. The families here usually consisted of parents and one or two kids. The biggest family in town had seven, and that was our family.

"Renesmee Carlie Cullen" my name was called and I walked to the stairs of the stage but stopped on the second to last step as I heard, not only applauses, but whistles, cheers, 'Wohoo' s and 'Go Nessie!" from the crowd.

I looked up to see not only my family, but grandpa Charlie and Billy. Sam and Em with Mason sitting on Sam's shoulders and Paul and Rach with her balloon sized belly. Man she was huge!

I couldn't stop smiling as I went to the principal and he handed me my diploma. I waved at the bunch that was screaming at me and they just became louder.

"That's my Sis!" Emmett screamed and I laughed.

When everything was over and I'd hugged my friends goodbye did I meet my family.

"There she is!" my dad said, sounding like a proud dad. "Congratulations, baby" he said.

"Thank you daddy"

Mom hugged me and then did the rest of my family do the same.

"Congratulations, Renesmee" Sam said and hugged me.

"Thank you"

"Nessie! Congrats!" Emily said laughing.

"Thanks, Em!"

"Nenesmii! Nenesmii!" a little voice screamed.

"Mason!" Em's little boy stretched his arms towards me and hugged me.

"Hey, Mason! Honey, you're so big and cute! I've the best godson in the world!" I kissed him.

Sam and Emily had asked Jake and I to be Mason's godparents when he was born, and we had gladly accepted. He was like our son.

"Hey! You'll have a niece soon too, don't forget it!" Rach came to me.

"Rachel! Girl, you're big!"

"I know! I just want it to be over!"

When we all had laughed did we go home. Grandma had done an amazing dinner that we all where enjoying.

After we'd eaten did I rise up to speak.

"I would like to say some words before uncle Em get's drunk" I said and everyone laughed.

"I'll give you that just 'cause it's your graduation." he said.

"Anyways. I wanted to thank you al for coming. I didn't expect it and I'm very thankful. I'm thankful to be able to call me your friends and family, and you have to know I love you all. You've been with me always. In bad times such as in good ones, and I'll never for that. Thank you so much"

Everyone started to applaud.

"Well, I've some words too" Jake came and stood next to me. "I am also very thankful for your love and support, you don't know how much. And as Nessie said" he took my hand and looked at me "We've been through a lot. And even if it has been painful, do I feel like I'm closer to you than ever. Nessie, when I saw you suffering, did I know I'd never want to see you suffering again. I knew I would never ever want to see you crying or hurt, never. So that day, did I make a choice. I chose to be with you forever, to protect you from everything that could possibly hurt you. And I will protect you forever. But you have to tell me it first" he smiled and I looked at him, not really understanding.

I felt the air leave my lungs when I saw him taking out that little red box from his pocket and getting on one knee.

"Renesmee Cullen" he'd never said my whole name like that, it sounded so perfect "Would you do me the honor of marrying me?"

I nodded, squealed, I did everything that would make him see that I wanted to. I heard applauses and cheers from the people around.

He placed the ring on my finger, and it felt so right there.

My sight was blurred by tears coming out of my eyes. Jake rose up and stroke a tear that fell down with his thumb.

"Is this really happening?" I asked him still surprised over what had just happened.

"Yes, it is" he chuckled.

I threw my arms around his neck and he bent down and placed his lips on mine. I couldn't help smiling.

I saw my dad with his arms around mom's waist, smiling.

"Did you talk to my dad before this?"

"I talked to him four years ago"

"Four years? Then why did you wait so long? We could've been engaged all this time" was shocked by the fact that he hadn't told me this before.

"Well, technically, we've been engaged for four years. You see this bracelet is actually a Quileute engagement bracelet"

I looked surprised at him "What?"

"I gave it to you your first Christmas as a symbol that one day you'd be mine"

I took the words in "Holly crap! My dad gave me away!" I screamed and Jake laughed.

"I didn't have a choice!" my dad said coming to me and hugging me "Congratulations honey"

"Thanks dad"

I hugged mom too and the rest of the guests. People I loved, people that where important to me.

I took a look around. This was a moment I'd remember for the rest of my life. Today was the day that the


	52. Glimpses of Eternity

**Ladies and Gentlemen: This is it! I can't believe it! the first thing I want to tell you all is how much I love and appreciate all of you for reading and reviewing this story. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for sticking out with me for almost five months now. Thank you, Thank you thank you...**

**I should also apologize for the time this chapter took to write. I was going to a writers block, but now it's done! All for your enjoying!**

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**Morgan Hill aka ButterflyReader: Morgan, my sweet girl, I LOVE U YOU! You're like, my personal angel, thanks for always making my day with your mails!**

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**And thanks to each and everyone of you, you that have compliment, or give me tips, or critiqued, THANK YOU! All of you are helping me to become a better writer.**

**This story is for all of you! **

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><p><em>Glimpses of Eternity<em>

"Nessie, stop shaking!" Alice hissed in my ear.

"I can't!" I hissed back. And it was true. I was shaking and my hands where all sweaty.

"Don't you dare wipe your hands on the dress!" and she left the room.

I grabbed a towel and wiped my sweaty hands.

"Stop being ridiculous, Renesmee!" I said to myself.

"Can I come in?" mom asked me.

"Yeah"

She opened the door and I hear her gasp. "Baby, you look beautiful!" she came to stand next to me in front of the full length mirror.

I saw my reflection on the mirror.

I saw my hair that was in a loose up-do, locks hanging here and there. The beautiful dress we had bought three months ago was just perfect. It was a white mermaid dress. The top was a bit lazed with a diamond on the hip, then did the fabric flow lightly down in a mountain of satin, forming waves on the skirt. Perfect, just like I wanted it.

The silk veil was very old-schooled looking, very elegant.

"Thank you" I whispered with tears in my eyes.

"Are you ready?"

I took a deep breath. "Yes"

** ~~~~~O~~~~~**

I heard my song play and I grabbed tight of my dad's arms.

"You know I love you right?" he said to me with his warm look.

_I know. I love you, too._

We walked in slowly. All the guest where standing and starring. I was happy for having them here, I really was. But I just couldn't let my eyes leave Jake.

He stood with Seth- his best man- on his side and his eyes where about to pop out. The sight almost made me laugh.

The walk to the aisle felt eternal but when I finally arrived didn't I want to let go of my dad.

"I love you" he whispered in my ear as he kissed my cheek.

"I love you too" I whispered, but even I could hear my voice break.

I turned to Jake who extended his hand towards me.

_You're… beautiful? No, that's to little._

I smiled at him and we turned to the reverent who was starting to talk.

I wasn't really paying attention to him. I kept looking at Jake for the entire time.

"It's time for the vows. Jacob?"

Mason came with the rings and we took them. Jake took my left hand.

" Renesmee, you have filled my world with meaning. You have made me so happy and more fulfilled as a person. Thank you for taking me as I am; loving me, and welcoming me into your heart. I promise to always love you, respect you as an individual, and to be faithful to you forever. Today I choose you to be my partner, and commit myself to you for the rest of my life."

I couldn't stop the tears from welling over. It was so beautiful, those words will I memorize and keep with me forever.

When he'd placed the ring on my finger, was it my turn.

"Today, Jacob, I join my life to yours, not merely as your wife, but as your friend, your lover, and your confidant. Let me be the shoulder you lean on, the rock on which you rest, the companion of your life. With you I will walk my path from this day forward."

This was it. Now, we just needed to answer a simple question.

"Do you, Jacob Black, take Renesmee Carlie Cullen, to be your wife? Will you love her, comfort and keep her, and forsaking all other remain true to her as long as you both shall live?" He looked at me while replying "I do"

"And do you, Renesmee Carlie Cullen, take Jacob Black, to be your husband? Will you love him, comfort and keep him, an forsaking all other remain true to him as long as you both shall live?"

"I do" a tear fell and I couldn't stop smiling at him, he was crying too.

" I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride"

"With the right that has been giving to me, I pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride."

We didn't hesitate. Neither of us. He just bent down and kissed me. We where one.

**~~~~~O~~~~~**

"Time for the first dance" the DJ called from the speakers. Jake and I walked to the empty dance floor as our song played and he took me in his arms. It felt so right.

"I love you" Jake whispered in my ear as we moved to our song.

"I love you too. Always. Forever. For eternity."

His lips kissed the crown of my head.

"it's you and me now" he mumbled "Forever. For eternity. Even when eternity isn't enough."

**~~~~~O~~~~~**

I saw the light peeking in through the with curtains as my eyelids where slightly open. Somewhere was there an open window, I could feel the soft breeze, the sound of the waves and the heat of the Californian sun. I loved our honeymoon destination. Los Angeles. Jake had chose it so that I could experience the heat.

I opened my eyes, just to gaze into Jake's deep brown eyes. His gorgeous smile reflected in his eyes, making me automatically smile too.

"Good morning, Mrs. Black" he said with a proud voice.

"Well, hello Mr. Black" I stretched my body, that wasn't so far away from him and kissed his lips softly. He responded my coming closer. He put his and on my lower back. His warm hand sent electricity as he touched by bare back. I placed my hand on his bare chest. Feeling his heartbeat under my hand.

My lips rose into a smile. I couldn't help it. Or, I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe I was here with Jake. That he was mine, and I his. He was my husband.

I took a look at the rings on my left hand that was on Jake's chest. I bit my lip.

"What are you thinking?" he asked and I opened my mind for him. Making him see what I saw, feel what I felt. And it was happiness. Pure happiness.

"I love you" he said kissing my forehead. "I have a surprise for you" he said after several seconds of silence.

I sat quickly up with the sheets around my body. "What?"

He chuckled and rose up but leaned on his elbow "Why are you always so curious?"

I just shrugged in response.

"You want to know what it is?"

I nodded.

"Then let's get dressed" "But…" he cut me off by quickly kissing my lips and disappearing to the bathroom.

"urgh!" I groaned and threw myself back on the mattress in frustration

Eventually where we dressed and I met him downstairs where I met him at the end of the staircase.

"So, are you going to tell me what surprise you have for me or…" he once again cut me of. But this time did he grab me and turned me around.

"Look" he said.

We'd arrived late last night so I didn't see. But today I saw.

I saw an open space, everything went in white. White furniture, white decorations, white carpets. Everything was white, clear and open. The staircase has in one corner giving me a perfect overlook of the big space.

There was a big space as you entered the house, making it a living room. The dining room and kitchen where connected into another big area, still connected to the living room.

The dinner table was big, with more chairs than we would need.

The ceiling was high, giving the impression of the room being even bigger than it looked.

I walked away from Jake and started to look around in the room.

"Jake! This place is huge!" I exclaimed and started to walk around like a little kid in a playground. Looking, touching, testing.

Jake chuckled and walked to me. "All this is for you" he pulled me in and kissed me.

"Ah, it's going to be hard to leave after this honeymoon. I mean, this is like my dream house."

"Who said we're going to leave?" I looked at him. What was he talking about?

He reached for his back pocket and took something out. I freaked out as I saw what it was. It was a key.

"Oh my God!" I gasped and placed my hands over my mouth "Jake, is this our…" I couldn't end the sentence. I was so shocked.

"Yes, love. It is. Welcome to our home"

**~~~~~O~~~~~**

The room was pitch dark. The breeze that came in from the window was chilly. I sighed. Why cant this guy sleep with a clossed window?

I turned to look at Jake who was calmly sleeping next to me.

I rose up and went to close the window that was open. I stayed a while looking at the big sea that looked black in front of me.

We'd been here fore more than six months now, and I was still always amazed by the beauty of the sea. In the morning, afternoon and even now in the middle of the night.

My sleep was long gone. I directed my steps to the kitchen. I was hungry.

Lately, had I wanted more and more human food. Probably because that was what I made for Jake and what I ate. I'd got used to it. And I liked it. Of course did I go hunting now and then, but it wasn't as often.

I went to the kitchen and grabbed an apple and a glass of water and went back to bed.

As I came close, did I see that the light of the bathroom was on. He'd forgot to turn it off. Again.

I rolled my eyes and smiled at Jake's lack of memory. He forgot a lot of things, which he would never admit. He always replied with an 'I was about to' or 'that was what I was going to do'

I entered the bathroom and was about to turn the light of when something caught my attention.

I took a look in the mirror.

I saw myself, with an apple in my hand and a glass of water in the other.

I saw how I carefully put the apple and the glass next to the sink. How my left hand moved again towards me, and settled on my clearly pouting stomach.

I started to breath heavy.

"JACOB!" I screamed. I turned again to the mirror. My hand was still on my stomach. Only this time my hand was shaking.

"Ness, what's…" he stopped by the bathroom door and looked at me with wide open eyes.

"Call my grandpa"

**~~~~~O~~~~~**

"How long was it since your last period?" my grandpa asked me as he put some gel on my stomach. Not that I had my shirt up, could I clearly see the baby bump. Which freaked me out every time I saw it.

"A while. Maybe a moth"

He nodded.

I turned to look at Jake who was holding my hand. _Jake, I'm scared._

_Don't be. Everything will be fine. _if he'd said that out loud, I would be calm. But because he spoke from his mind, could I hear how he tried to convince himself about it too. Which meant he was also scared.

I flinched as my grandpa placed the ultrasound on my belly and started to move. I was that scared.

"So, how are you guys doing?" my grandpa asked relaxed. Trying to make me calm.

"Go-good. How are you guys?"

"missing you. Both of you. The house is lonely without you"

I smiled. "No wonder mom and dad came too."

He chuckled "Yes. They wouldn't miss a chance to see you. I told them it wasn't anything dangerous, but you know how Edward is…"

"Oh I know…" I trailed of as I heard something that sounded like a collieries heartbeat.

I turned my head to see the black and white screen.

There could I distinguish the most beautiful sight ever.

_Jake, do you see?_

_Yes _he said a bit shocked.

I saw not one, but two little baby bodies. I saw it clearly.

"You see?" my grandpa asked and I nodded.

"That's the head, the back, the legs and the hand" he pointed at each thing he told me. But I stayed at the face. This two beautiful faces that couldn't really see, but that I already couldn't take my eyes of,

With blurry eyes did I once again look up at Jake. His eyes where tear-filled as well.

"Jake" I whispered "We're having twins"

**~~~~~O~~~~~**

Everybody was excited about the good news. But most excited was my grandpa. He was ecstatic about the fact that he'd seen the babies at all. Now he couldn't wait until they where born to see them. How they would be, if they'd have any powers. If they'd be human, or vampires, or wolves or all.

That, I think, was what scared me the most. What kind of thing would be waiting for them.

I remember crying for days after. Not only from happiness, but also from not knowing what kind of future my kids would have. Half human- half vampire? Half human- half were wolves? Vampire- were wolves? Or totally humans?

The only thing that was sure, was that they had more human than me but less than Jake. There where somewhere in between. That was one of the reasons I was still pregnant. Five moths after the discovery.

"If we've luck, maybe you'll wait the nine months you have" I remember grandpa telling me the day we found out.

But according to the last tests, where my kids fully developed. They where 8 and a half months into the pregnancy, while I technically was in my 4th. That was one of the reasons everyone had decided to come down to L.A. they wanted to be here when the babies where born. Even Billy was here.

It was funny. Billy and my dad had become really close lately. They where both part of the 'I cant believe I'll be a grandpa soon' club. And what did everything even more funny, was the fact that Billy looked like a grandpa, while my dad didn't.

"I'm freaking seventeen!" I remember him exclaiming when we told him the good news. Oh, how I laughed that day!

Mom was more… chill. As always. That was one of the reasons I loved her so much. She's just calm and takes everything things as they come. She's my rock and my only confident in this roller coaster ride.

Because she's been through it.

My aunts, well, they're excited. And even though we don't know the sex of the babies. Two girls or two boys, they've still shopped _tones _of clothes.

"Pixie, we're having two kids, not two million!" I remember Jake exclaiming as Alice came with a truck- no kidding!- of clothes and furniture for their room. Which they yet haven't paint, they want to do it according to the babies. But everything is set. The cribs, the strollers, the deal. And I can tell you that thanks to Alice, my unborn kids, have a walk in closet. _Each._

Emmett and Jasper are the least excited. Even though they're happy about it are they bored of being around the house all the time.

"Not only are we in Cali- freaking- fornia where we cant do nothing thanks to the sun" Em said one day " but these kids are taking such a long time! C'mon kiddies! Get out of there!" he just to tell my big stomach.

And I didn't blame him. This waiting was killing me.

"Grandpa, how long more must I wait?" I said impatient.

"probably not longer."

I sighed in frustration. "mom, could you help me to the room?"

"Of course, honey" she took me in her arms and we walked to the stairs.

I threw a quick look at Jake tat was playing poker with dad, Billy and my uncles.

Mom out me down on the bedroom floor and I walked to bed all clumsy.

"Ah, I feel like an elephant!" I exclaimed.

"But not for long." my ,mom replied.

I was going to sit when a sudden pain hit me and I froze.

"Renesmee, what is it?" mom said and as she came to me did I feel my legs go wet.

"Oh my!" she exclaimed "Carlisle! It's time!"

**~~~~~O~~~~~**

I was all sweaty and breathless. That was definitely the most exhausting hours of my life! But at the end, it was all worth it.

"Hey sweetie." I heard Jake say "Do you want to go to mommy?"

I turned my head to Jake who was standing next to my bed and talking to the little baby girl that was in his arms while I was holding a little baby boy.

"He's just lie you" I remember telling Jake with tears as I first got the boy in my arms. He had Jake's nose, lips, everything.

"And she is just like you." he said.

"Hey baby!" I told the girl that Jake gave me and I gave him our son. _Our._

The baby girl had the Cullen features. Pale and gorgeous. It was the perfect contrast with her ebony black hair. And even though they where barely half an hour old, could you see her little ringlets on the crown her head. Even the boy had ringlets.

"They're beautiful" Jake said, once again tear-filled.

"I know" and it was true. I couldn't take my eyes of my daughters face.

"have you thought of any names?" Jake asked me.

And I had "Yes" I hadn't told him before, because I wanted it to be a surprise.

"I thought… that we could name her after grandma" I looked up at him.

"I like it" he said. "Isabella is a great name."

"Well, I wasn't really thinking of Isabella in the first place, even though I'm planning on having it too"

Jake looked at me confused.

"I thought we could name her after grandma Sara." I saw Jake's reaction. I saw his tears.

"Sara Isabella Black"

"it's perfect" he said "Thank you" he bent and kissed my forehead and came and sat next to me on the bed.

"So what are we name you mister?" I said to the little boy who had his eyes wide open. Jake's eyes.

"Well I thought" Jake said "that we could name him like grandpa"

I looked at him. "Jake." I said " you really want to name your son Billy Edward?" I said not getting it.

Jake chuckled "No. But Anthony William"

He said it with such care, it even sounded magical.

"I love it!" and now was I the one crying. "Let's go tell them"

I got rolled out on a wheel chair from the improvised maternity, the supposed to be guesthouse on the backyard, and into the big house again.

There where everyone waiting for us to arrive.

I had my both babies in my arms, my whole life.

"Family" I said with the most proud voice ever.

"I introduce you to Anthony William" I looked at Anthony, my dad and Billy "And Sara Isabella Black"

**~~~~~O~~~~**

"I can't believe it's been a month now" Jake whispered.

And I agreed. We where in the nursery, looking at our sleeping angels.

They where big for their age. Looking like three moth olds instead of one, but they weren't as fast developed as I was.

Grandpa found the shifter gene in Anthony, but also in Sara. Which meant, either one of them could become a shape shifter. Which at the beginning scared the crap out of me. But as they grew, Sara showed more of the vampire gene than Anthony. So we where dealing with a wolf and a vampire in our house.

But right now, we enjoyed the moment.

"Isn't life wonderful?" I asked Jake when we came to our room.

"Yes. It is"

"And this is just the beginning" I told him.

"and I am ready to embrace it" he came closer and locked his hands around me.

I'd never felt so right. So perfect, as now.

I took a deep breath and smiled.

"Lets eternity begin."

* * *

><p><strong>Tears, tears, tears. I Love you!<strong>

**Please, in your review, tell me what you thought of this story and favourite parts and parts you hated, I would love to see what you all think!**

**And also, my new Story 'Welcome to the Addam's- I mean Cullen's' will soon be posted. If you want me to send you a PM when I post it, tell me it on a review.**

**Thanks again and don't forget I love you!**


	53. RANDOM READER

**Hi y'all! Wanted to post a quick note here to a reviewer called Random Reader:**

**Wow and THANK YOU! That review made my day and week! You don't know how much I appriciated it, I still can't believe it! I honestly think you gave me too much cred for this, but thank you anyways. I wanted to send you this by PM but you where anonymus and don't have an account, but I really felt that I had to thank you so here you go. Thank you! Thanks for your eloges and your critiques, I will deffinetly have them in mind now and always. And what you said about Stephenie wanting my story, I can't even write words to described how honored and happy and shocked I am. That's probably the best compliment you could give me! Thank you so so so so much! **

**And also to everyone else, I'm having some troubles with the story 'Welcome to the Addam's- I mean Cullen's' for some strange reason have my docX' dissapear (Beta Reader: If you're reading this, I PMed you abou it, please check it out!) so I don't have any Chaps worthy for you guys, but it's coming!**

**Also, I've seen that most of you have asked for a Sequel to 'When Eternity isn't Enough', here is my response: I wasn't actually planning on doing a sequel to this story, that's why I had the babies in it and all that stuff, and I never thought you guys would want one either, but clearly, I was wrong. I won't promise anything. I know many of you want it, and well, I love you guys to much for denying you anything, you are the ones that kept me writing, but I can't promise I'll do it. I love this story so much because it was the one that started everything, but I want to develope and use new characters. So for now, I'm not planning on a sequel, but I'm not saying no compleately. I just want to have some fun with Welcome to the Addam's due it's my newest project that I've been dying to post and for you guys to read. But keep your eyes open! 'Cause maybe, when you least expect, I'll have a sequel to When Eternity isn't Enough;)**

**Wow, this turned out to be longer than I thought. But to end this: Thanks to my reviewers, THANK YOU RANDOM READER and thanks to everyone that just have looked in, read one chapter or the entire story, the ones that reviewed once, and the ones that reviewed every single chapter. To everyone I LOVE YOU!**

**-Jessica**


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